


Living In Darkness

by ipfreeely



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A LOT of Angst, A lot of feels, Alternate Universe - High School, Angels as Novaks, Angst, Big Brother Gabriel, Big Brother Lucifer, Big Brother Michael, Blind Castiel, Bottom Castiel, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Dont read if you get triggered, Emotional Instability, Emotional Trauma, Good Big Brother Gabriel, Good Big Brother Lucifer, High School, High School Student Castiel, High School Student Dean, High school destiel, Insecurity, Its super sad at times, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Illness, Mental Institutions, Minor Character Death, PTSD, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Gabriel, Protective Lucifer, Protective Michael, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Supernatural - Freeform, Top Dean Winchester, Torture, Triggers, blind!cas, injuries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-02-22 10:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 147,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2504444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipfreeely/pseuds/ipfreeely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the tragic death of both of their parents as well as their sister the dysfunctional Novaks decide it's time to move for a fresh start. But a fresh start means a new school with new people and new problems. Castiel is the youngest of the five brothers and is also blind. He has never felt accepted by anyone but his siblings until he meets Dean Winchester and that all changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Day

Chapter One: 

"Cas! Come on get ready. It's our first day we don't want to be late!" Cas heard the shouts from downstairs. He could also hear the rush of feet walking, well running, around the house. Cas slowly got out of his bed and felt around for the drawers which were next to it, he leaned on them for support before standing up on his own. This was a new house and so, for now, he didn't quite know his way around. He had a cane but he was still learning on how to use it properly, he didn't really understand how it worked but he was slowly getting better. 

He lived with his older brothers Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel and Balthazar. He also has another brother, well half brother, named Raphael who had left to live with his Mom. He had a sister, Anna but she died a few months back along with both of his parents which is why they moved, they needed a fresh start. Although he hated to admit it he was glad when his Father died, he was abusive to not just him but all of his brothers and Anna. He would hit his Mother too, she told him to leave but he never did. They were all affected by him. 

Cas felt his way to the bathroom before feeling all the toothbrushes, he felt the one with the jagged edges. Michael bought him that one specially so he knew it was his. He brushed his teeth, pee'd and did all of that boring stuff. Once he had finished he called downstairs for one of his brothers to come and help him. He always got his brothers to choose his clothes for him in case he mis matched. He heard loud fast feet approach and guessed it was Gabriel or Balthazar.

"Come on Cassie, we got to go soon" Gabriels voice sounded next to him. Cas felt a hand on the small of his back before he led him back into his room. 

"What look you going for? The 'I'm cute and innocent' or the 'I'm ready for your body' look?" Gabriel asked, Cas could hear the smile in his voice and went to push him lightly in the general direction he was in. He ended up pushing Gabriel's neck. 

"Dude you're trying to kill me, don't worry I know what you'll like" Gabriel told him before he heard the shuffling of clothes as Gabriel rummaged through them. 

"Here you go bud" Gabriel said before ruffling Cas' hair and leaving the room. Cas quickly felt around for the clothes before he steadily got dressed.

He actually trusted Gabriel with these kinds of things, which was odd. But in elementary school as a prank Gabriel dressed Cas in purposely stupid clothes and Cas got bullied a lot because of it. Ever since then Gabriel has never done anything like it since, and Cas doubted he ever would. This caused Gabriel to be quite protective over Cas but then again most of his brothers were, since they were all older. 

Michael and Lucifer were the oldest, they were eighteen year old twins. Gabriel was next, he was seventeen as well as Raphael but since he was their half brother they were not born far apart. Raphael being only five months older than Gabriel. Their Dad cheated and only told them about Raphael when he was fourteen. Balthazar was sixteen while Cas was 15 but they were in the same grade. Their parents were very 'busy' that year. 

Once Cas was dressed he knew what to do. He knocked down hard on the floor three times and before he knew it he heard the door open and the sound of footsteps come towards him. "You ready Cassie?" Gabriel asked. Cas nodded nervously with a small smile. 

"You'll be fine. Any problems then tell one of us, okay?" Cas nodded again and took hold of what he thought was Gabriel's arm and he was right. 

They walked towards the stairs. "Stop. Steps here" Gabriel warned his brother. Cas stepped down just after Gabriel so that he was able to guide him. 

"Gabriel! Cas! The bus is here, hurry up, Luci can't stall them forever!" The sound of Michaels voice echoed from just outside their front door. 

"Coming, sorry" Cas murmered just loud enough for Michael to hear him. Michael sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. He walked over to Lucifer who was leaning against the side of the bus and seemed to be getting into some kind of trouble with the driver. 

"...So what? No ones ever had a problem with me before, don't think I won't slash these tyres to make you stay here" Lucifer told the driver after he insulted how 'rude' he was. He wasn't rude, he was just misunderstood. But no one else really seemed to agree. 

"I'm sorry about him, Luci quit it. My brother is in there. He's blind so it might take him a while to come out but he shouldn't be more than five minutes" Michael told the driver who seemed displeased but just nodded shortly. "Crap where's Balthazar?" Michael asked Lucifer when the realisation hit him that he had yet to see Balthazar outside.

"Don't sweat it, he's on the bus...And Cassies coming" Lucifer said as he pointed to where Gabriel and Cas were walking just a few paces from the bus. Lucifer climbed on to the bus and dragged Michael with him, they knew Gabriel would be fine with helping Cas onto the bus, it's not like they all hadn't done it numerous times. 

"Steps again Cas" Gabriel told him and once he got up them they finally reached the inside of the bus. Gabriel sat down and pulled Cas down next to him. Michael and Lucifer were occupying the seats in front of them and Balthazar was sitting opposite them by a girl who looked a few years younger.

"You guys take the piss" Balthazar whispered to them. Cas gave him evil eyes in his general direction while Gabriel lent across and hit Balthazars shoulder. 

"Some people in this family are blind jackass. You try getting ready with your eyes closed" Gabriel told him. He knew Balthazar didn't mean to come across as an asshole but he sometimes did. He didn't have a filter, well neither did he or Lucifer but...That's not the point.

"I bet you've tried that before" Balthazar teased with a sly grin pulling at his thin lips.

"Of course I have" Gabriel smiled before sitting back and looking down at Cas with a concerned expression. He just hoped this school wasn't like the last.

Dean and Sam Winchester were also on this very bus. Dean was seventeen but he was held back a grade due to his poor results last year, while Sam was fourteen and one of the brightest in his grade. It's not that Dean wasn't smart, he was just always busy, too busy to study. Their Father was a dead beat who was hardly ever home and when he was didn't really care much for them and their Mother was dead, she died when they were kids. A fire that Dean and Sam were also in. 

Dean was popular and attractive but no one really knew about the hidden burn marks on his thighs which he had aquired during that night he still remembers so well. He was trying to get Sam out and in the process got severe burns on his thighs. They never faded. He tried every treatment he could find but it wouldn't work. He was stuck with them. He played off his insecurities with wit and sarcasm. He didn't want anyone to find out he had weaknesses. 

Sam on the other hand was a bit of a nerd, sure he was damaged but a lot of the time he was sheltered by Dean and so didn't know the full extent of how messed up their lives were. Dean cared for him however he could but Sam didn't know that meant stealing cash just to feed him. Sam was a straight A student and the perfect kid that parents dream of getting. 

"Why are there so many of them? Who are they? Have you seen them before?" Sam asked looking up at his taller and older sibling. Dean just shook his head and stuck his bottom lip out. He had no idea who these guys were but they held the bus up and a few less minutes at school is a few minutes Dean appreciated. 

"No idea Sammy" Dean replied looking over to the loud and mysterious family that consisted of five boys. Each of them with different personalities. They fascinated Dean to say the least.


	2. Meeting The Novaks

Chapter Two: 

The family of five walked down the school hallways together, trying to find the Principal's office. They needed to get their schedules for the day. Gabriel still had his arm linked with Cas' since usually the one who helped him in the mornings would help him for the rest of the day. But Gabriel was a year older and wouldn't be in class with him, Balthazar would have to take over that role. 

"Where the hell is it? They said it was upstairs and to the left, do you see it Michael? No? Neither do I, damn it" Lucifer mused as he became frustrated which happened often. 

"You! Yes, you! Come here" Lucifer shouted to an unsuspecting student who was walking by. The boy walked over and stood face to face with Lucifer. "Show us where the Principal's office is."

"Luci don't be so god damn rude" Michael scolded as he pushed Lucifer out of the way so he could stand in front of the boy. 

"Please? We're new and we need our schedules" Michael asked in a more polite way, Lucifer rolled his eyes at his brother, despite them being twins they were nothing alike. Lucifer was, at one time, the golden child, he couldn't do any wrong but that changed when they were around ten. He suddenly became the troublemaker and mistake of the family. 

"Sure I can show you, I'm Dean by the way, Dean Winchester" the boy smiled at them. They began walking down the corridoor, Dean leading the way. 

"I'm Michael, that there's Lucifer, that's Balthazar and those two at the back the shorter ones Gabriel and the taller ones Castiel" Dean nodded and looked over the family as they walked. These guys seemed to intrigue him. Even though he knew nothing about them besides their names at this point he just knew they were interesting to say the least. 

They approached the Principal's office and Dean pointed to it. "Right there" he told them. 

"Thankyou Dean, may I ask what grade you're in?" Michael enquired since Dean didn't look any younger than sixteen so he would be in classes with at least one of them. 

"I'm seventeen but I got held back, so I guess I'm in 10th Grade" Dean shrugged. He didn't care if it made him seem dumb or stupid. School never really interested him much anyway. Sammy was more important, caring for him came before school.

"So are me and Cas, maybe we'll be in some of your classes" Balthazar winked before strutting past Dean and barging into the Principal's office. "Hellooo" he grinned singing in a high pitched voice. 

"You do not just barge into my office young man! What do you want?" The now agitated Principal asked. He looked grumpy but who could blame him when a obnoxious sixteen year old who he hadn't seen before burst into his office. 

"Cas, you okay?" Gabriel whispered to his brother when he felt the grip on his arm tighten. He knew Cas was nervous but they all tried to make him as comfortable as possible. It was always hard going to a new place for Castiel, he never knew how people would react to him or if they would even accept him. Not only was he blind but he was extremely shy and so this made him an easy target. People really underestimated Cas. He was strong, tanned and he had a big personality but people never took the time to get to know him really. Except once but that didn't turn out well.

"I'm just nervous Gabriel" Cas told him with his head downcast. He felt like a freak in this place already. But then again he always felt like a freak. 

"It's alright Cas, you'll be fine. Like I said before, any problems come to one of us" Gabriel told him reassuringly. Cas slightly nodded his head before he heard the Principal call them all in. 

"The Novaks. I've heard a lot about you guys. Three troublemakers and two of you have poor grades. Am I right?" He asked, this guy seemed like a douche and Castiel was sure one of his brothers would be sure to call him up on it, an argument on the first day, fantastic. 

"What is your problem? Of course Michael and Cas have slipping grades our Mom, Dad and sister died. Would you be fully focused on work if that happened? No I don't think so. As for the troublemakers thing, we wouldn't be if people didn't get on our nerves. Can you just give us the schedules we came in for?" Balthazar squinted as he looked the man in the eye. If looks could kill, he would be long gone. 

"You, young man, are extremely rude, first bursting into my office and now this. Consider this a warning, I've already taken a disliking to you. You should sort out your attitude" The Principal scolded but that didn't stop Balthazar from carrying on his death stare. He stood with his hand on his hip unmoving and not even blinking. Gabriel whispered something to Cas before unlinking their arms. 

"Balthazar stop, even though he is an asshole, just go and stand with Cas" Gabriel whispered to him and Balthazar sighed as he broke his death stare. He walked over to his brother and put a hand on his back. 

"Sorry Cas" he whispered. Cas just shook his head as a way of dismissal. 

"Can we just have the schedules please?" Michael asked. He could see that Lucifer was ready to scream any minute so he stepped in before he could. Gabriel also looked pissed off while Balthazar hung back with Cas since if he didn't, the argument would have continued and he would of been kicked out before he even started.   
"Fine" The principal spat before he put five schedules on his desk. They all collected them and Balthazar got Cas' for him. "Now leave" he told them gravely. They filed out of the room. Lucifer was last to leave and when he did he punched the wall angrily. Dean was still outside. 

"Are you alright? What the hell happened?" Dean asked. He could hear some of the shouts from outside but he didn't really get the gist of what was going on. 

"He is a fucking asshole" Lucifer told him pointing to the Principal's door. Dean knew that. When he first started this school last year the Principal was cold to him too.

"Luci come on, calm down. Let me see your schedule" Michael told him before Lucifer sighed and handed him the sheet of paper. They were in quite a few lessons together. Michael was happy about that, he could keep tabs on Lucifer. 

Dean walked over to Cas and Balthazar, he recalled Michael telling him they were in the same grade. "Hey guys. Do you have any classes together?" Dean asked with a polite smile gracing his lips. 

"Yeah but not all, are you in any lessons with Cas?" Balthazar asked, handing Dean Cas' schedule. Dean scanned through it seeing that they had a lot of lessons together. He hadn't even yet spoke to Cas, he seemed quieter than the rest of his brothers. Dean looked up and properly looked at Cas. He noticed that he didn't seem to focus on anything but he was gorgeous. He had bright blue eyes, dark hair, tanned and was quite muscular. He was a little smaller than Dean but not by much. 

"Yeah we have a lot of lessons together. If you don't have a lesson with him I can take him if you want" Dean suggested. He could see Cas still wasn't focusing on him but instead seemed to shy away. 

"Yeah, that sound good Cas?" Balthazar asked, nudging Cas' side. He seemed to suddenly look alert. Dean could tell he was nervous but he did want to get to know him and not just because of his good looks. He also seemed interesting. 

"Uhm...Yes...Thankyou Dean" Cas mumbled again not making eye contact with Dean. Balthazar laughed a little and mouthed 'he's shy.' Dean smiled and mouthed back 'figured.' 

"No problem. We've got Physics first, have you?" Dean asked, directing his question to Balthazar who Dean noticed had his arm linked with Cas'. Maybe they were extra close, but then so did Gabriel. It could be a big brother thing. 

"Yeah, I do. Where is it? Can you take us?" Balthazar asked. Dean nodded before he gestured for them to follow. Balthazar seemed to lead Cas behind him. 

"So...guys I don't want to sound rude but how come you like...Link arms? No offense" Dean told them with his hands up. Cas seemed to shrink into himself at this point, he was clearly upset. Dean didn't mean to upset him. He just wanted to know. He felt bad now. 

"He's blind" Balthazar said bluntly, realisation hit Dean like a ton of bricks and he felt like the worst person alive. Balthazar looked ready to hurt him if he made one wrong move while Cas just looked down seeming smaller than he really was. 

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I feel like such a dick now. I didn't mean to make you f-"

"It's okay" Cas cut him off quietly. "You didn't know. At least you asked instead of spreading rumors or whatever" he attempted a smile. It was small but it was there and Dean thought it was perfect. Cas seemed like such a nice person and it was cruel that he was cursed with the burden of being blind. Dean wouldn't ever judge him for it or spread rumors. He guessed it had happened before. 

"Yeah, sorry. We're here now" Dean told them as Dean walked in first followed by Balthazar and Cas. That's when Cas' nerves really set in.


	3. Castiel's Condition

Chapter Three: 

"Class, we have some new students" the teacher announced to the class. Dean was sitting near the back of the room and he felt nervous for the two brothers at the front. It must be terrifying for Cas to stand in front of a class he can't see. A class that could have disgust written all over their faces and Cas would never know. Although he was sure Balthazar wouldn't keep quiet about it. 

"Would you like to introduce yourselves to the class?" The teacher asked and Dean saw Cas shift just at those words. Balthazar tried to comfort him by being right next to him so they touched shoulder to shoulder. Just to let him know he was there with him. 

"I'm Balthazar" He said bluntly, the teacher looked at him like she was expecting more out of him. "What? He asked which caused the class to snigger. Dean breathed out a small laugh, Balthazar sure did have a lot of nerve. Dean loved it. 

"Tell us about yourself" She told him. Cas got nervous at that. What would he tell them? Oh I'm blind, my life sucks and I'm shy? Like that would work out. Panic set into his stomach as he thought of what to say when he was asked. 

"I'm single, does that cover it?" Balthazar asked. This caused yet another, louder this time, snigger throughout the class. Balthazar could make them laugh and what could Cas do? Make them sick? Bump into them? He had nothing. 

"And you, would you like to introduce yourself?" Once he heard the words Dean perked up. He looked straight at Castiel's face and saw the fear spread across it. He hoped he would be okay with this. 

"I...Uh...My name's Castiel, Balthazar's my brother but we're not twins. Uhm...That's it" He finished awkwardly. Dean swelled with pride which was strange since he didn't even really know Cas. 

"That guy's weird" One of Dean's friends whispered to him and at that Dean snapped his gaze to his friend. He shot him with a death glare. Cas was not weird. Different didn't mean weird. 

"Leave him alone man, he's nice" Dean defended him. He felt weirdly protective over Cas. He seemed like he hadn't had much appreciation or acceptance from anyone besides his brothers. 

"What about your condition, Castiel. Do you think you should tell the class?" The teacher asked. With this Cas swallowed thickly. He hated telling people, they would just think of him as a freak or as disabled. He didn't want to. He didn't even like saying the words. 

"I...Uhm...I'm blind" Cas mumbled with his head downcast. He felt Balthazar put a hand on his shoulder. The small gesture made Cas smile and feel less uncomfortable. 

After that Balthazar helped Cas to his seat. The lesson dragged. The whole day dragged. When it was finally their lunch hour the Novaks all met by Michael's locker. 

"...So she told me to introduce myself but then get this guys, when she asked Cas she told him to tell them about his 'condition' I was ready to slap a bitch" Balthazar ranted to his brothers. He'd been holding his anger in since first period and he had to let it go somehow. Cas was stood in between Gabriel and Lucifer. 

"She what!? What teacher was it?" Lucifer asked, looking as if he was ready to attack someone. He wrapped his hand protectively around Cas' wrist. Cas did appreciate Lucifer's support, he really did but he also didn't want to make a scene about it. He didn't like how uncomftorble the teacher made him feel but it was over now. 

"Luci, please don't. I know it was shitty of her but it's okay. They would have found out I was blind sooner or later. Just don't" Cas tried to plead with Lucifer. His brother was a very angry person when he wanted to be. Despite his hard exterior he really wasn't that bad of a person. The problem with Lucifer was because of how he acted on the outside people never got to know him because they were intimidated by him. Underneath his facade he really was a gentle and compassionate person. If you accepted him that's all that would be needed for him to like you. He just wanted to be accepted but because he wasn't, it made him more angry.

"It's our first day Luci. You don't really want to get suspended yet, right? Mom always told you to try and control your anger, so try" Michael told him as his eyes softened. Their Mother always saw the potential in Lucifer. No matter how many flaws he had she was the only person who really saw the good in him, besides his siblings. 

"I...Fine. We'll just leave it then" He mumbled as he let go of Cas' wrist and avoided eye contact with his brothers. The bell rang to signal that lunch was over. The next lesson that Castiel had was without Balthazar but it was with Dean. 

Balthazar spotted down the hall and shouted to him. "WINCHESTER! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

"Who the hell is that?" Dean's friend Benny asked. Dean began to walk towards the pair which left Benny confused. Since when did they even come to this school and since when was Dean friends with them?

"New kids, said I'd help them. Remember, Cas and Balthazar?" Dean asked him as he backed away from his friend and went futher towards the Novaks. 

"Gabriel's brothers?" Benny asked. He and Gabriel were in some of the same classes. Benny was Deans age but wasn't held back and so was in classes with Gabriel. He recalled Gabriel telling the class that he had a lot of siblings. Before telling them that he could 'work it' better than any of them. 

"Yeah, right. See you later" Dean waved before scurrying down the corridoor towards the Novaks. Lucifer looked less angry than usual but more upset, Michael looked beat, Gabriel looked confused while Balthazar and Cas just waited for Dean. 

"I've got to take him, right? He isn't in this lesson with you is he?" Dean asked for confirmation. Balthazar unlinked his arm from Cas' and gently shoved him towards Dean. Dean helped him steady and linked his arm around Cas'. 

"He's all yours for a while" Balthazar smiled and winked before he walked in the opposite direction. "Bye guys" He waved to them. The other Novaks had already gone to lesson. Cas and Dean would be kind of late but it didn't really matter. It's not like there wasn't a valid excuse. 

"So, Cas. How are you finding your first day so far?" Dean asked as they began walking to sociology. Cas' arm tightened around Deans. Dean looked down at the slightly smaller boy and thought about how beautiful he really was, despite being blind. 

Some of Dean's friends knew he was bisexual but not many, Sammy knew too. He would never tell his Dad. His Father despised anything out of the 'social norm.'

"It's okay, it's better than a lot of school's I have been to. So far the people seem more accepting" Cas sighed as memories of old schools came flooding back into his memory. Being called a freak, being made fun of, all of the bullying. Kids could be cruel. He remembered when Lucifer found out he was getting bullied when he was thirteen, that didn't go well. Lucifer beat them up and for it got in a lot of trouble with his school, the cops and their parents, namely their Father. He remembered the week after that where Lucifer was locked in his bedroom hardly given any food. Their Father just left him there. He said it was to 'teach him a lesson.' When he came out of that room, he wasn't the same. He was weaker and it scared them all how far their Father would go just to prove a point. 

Dean saw that Cas was thinking, probably about what he experienced in other schools. "Those people who don't accept you are just low lives, Cas. Never let assholes get to you. You're way better than that" Dean told him as they approached sociology. Dean saw a small smile tug at Cas' lips before he heard a quiet 'thankyou Dean.' 

"Winchester! And...Novak is it? Would you like to explain why you are so late?" Cas shifted uncomfortably. Dean tightened his arm around Cas' to let him know he could handle this and that he was there for him. 

"He's new and...You know...Blind, it's not exactly easy to get around the school like that" Dean defended them. The teachers eyes seemed to widen in realisation. He completely forgot the new student was blind. 

"Right...Of course, I'm very sorry Castiel. You and Dean can go and take a seat" The teacher said with guilt stringing his words together. Dean led Cas to the empty seat which was beside him. Cas smiled greatfully at Dean before he sat down. Dean looked away and smiled too. Cas was so damn adorable. Dean felt like he wanted to help him anyway he could. 

...

"Right class. So we have a project in which you'll have to pair up. For this project you will have to research about how your race, gender and sexuality affect your place in society. Hurry and pair up before I choose for you" Mr. Milton told them all at the end of Sociology. The words about pairing up worried Cas, he was always left till last because no one wanted to work with a blind boy who couldn't even help himself. 

Cas suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up as if expecting that he would be able to see who it was. "Who?" Cas simply asked looking up into the darkness which filled his vision constantly. 

"Guess" The familiar voice of Dean filled his ears. Cas smiled again and this time not a half or forced smile, a real smile. This was the first time someone actually wanted to be his partner for something. Dean voluntarily chose to be paired with Cas and that made him feel so good about himself. For just a moment all of his insecurities seemed to fade away and he was filled with joy. To most people this was nothing but to cas it was everything. Being accepted even within the first year of school was unheard of for Cas but the first day? It felt like a minor miracle which was in the form of Dean Winchester.


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THERE IS SELF HARM AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!
> 
> Thankyou guys for all the comments and kudos, it really means a lot ♡

Chapter Four:

A week at the new school had passed. Cas was getting on quite well, he had a few comments here and there but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Things like freak, weirdo, retard. The usual bullshit. 

Gabriel and Lucifer had been with Cas when someone walked past and made fun of him. They pretended to be blind and bumped into the walls. Boy did he get hurt. Gabriel shouted in his face and Lucifer punched him in it. Michael came down the hall a few minutes later and saw the scene. He told the boy to say nothing to the teachers otherwise he would tell them what he did to Cas. With that he just ran off. 

That was the worst event so far. The best part of the new school was definitely Dean Winchester. Everyday he and Cas became closer. They could now be classed as 'good friends' in Cas' books. But they had yet to start their project which was due in next week so Dean was coming round to the Novaks so they could work on it.

Michael was rushing around trying to make the house spotless like Dean would actually care about that while Gabriel and Balthazar teased Cas about Dean being his boyfriend but Lucifer, he was the one who was calm about this whole thing. Which was odd. If anyone would be freaking out it would be him, he'd seemed more out of it lately. They were all worried about him. 

The doorbell rang, it was bound to be Dean. "Oh my god the house is a mess! Don't let him in it's disgusting!" Michael panicked as he tried to collect all the cleaning items together. 

"Michael you're such an idiot" Gabriel laughed before walking towards the door and being greeted by the friendly face of Dean Winchester. "Hey Dean. If you can smell disinfectant it's because Michael is a neat freak who decided to clean the whole house because you were coming over" Gabriel told him straight away. He wanted to embarrass Michael as much as humanly possible. 

"Right" Dean chuckled before walking into the house. He did smell all those cleaning products. Michael went all out. 

"Gabriel! I told you the house wasn't ready! It's a complete mess I am so sorry Dean" Michael rushed through his words. Michael was a perfectionist. He wanted to make sure everything was as perfect as he could make it since that's what their Dad had taught them. If it's not perfect then there's no point in trying. That rubbed of on Michael a lot more than the others. 

"Don't worry about it, it's fine. Cas, should we work on this upstairs or down?" Dean asked Cas who just looked happy that Dean was here. Cas stood up from the chair he was in and felt his way around until he got to Dean. He put his hand on Dean's chest but quickly retracted it, realising it wasn't one of his brothers. 

"I...Uh...Sorry. Yeah let's just...go, upstairs" Cas stuttered after the awkward encouter that Dean didn't find awkward at all. Dean automatically linked his arm with Cas' used to it by now. Even though it had only been one working week it felt like a long time. Cas had just naturally started to open up to Dean and feel confident around him, which was odd since that had never happened before. It always took him at least two months to feel completely comfortable with someone but with Dean something just seemed to click. 

Gabriel walked back into the living room and sat beside Lucifer who hardly responded to him at all. "Lucifer, are you alright?" Gabriel sighed, his words were laced with concern. "You seem a little...Off lately" He added. Lucifer looked up at his little brother and gave him a small smile. 

"I'm fine Gabriel. Just having a bad week. I keep thinking about Mom and Anna, Dad too I guess. I don't know why but it's nothing" Lucifer told him before putting his hand on Gabriel's shoulder and standing up. He walked towards the door without looking back and walked upstairs. He was thinking a lot this week, mainly because they's moved out of the home they grew up in. The home that they shared memories in. Now they had to come here and make new ones but this time without their parents or sister. It just felt wrong, it felt weird. It felt like giving up on what they had at their real home. 

"How come you guys just all live here alone? I want parents that let me move out with Sammy" Dean laughed. He imagined it though, not having to worry about when their Dad was next coming home. Just living a care free life with his brother. 

Castiel froze at that. He couldn't be mad at Dean. How could he have known? "Actually...My Mom, Dad and sister died about three months ago. That's why we moved here, for a fresh start" Cas told him as he fought back the urge to cry. He didn't want this to turn into him being a wimp and crying. His Dad always told them crying was for girls, although when Anna cried he still beat her up too. 

"Crap, I'm so so so sorry Cas. I had no idea" Dean gasped as he could see Cas' eyes shining. Cas tried to hold them back, he tried so damn hard but he missed his Mom and he missed Anna. It wasn't the same without them here. He loved his brothers a lot but they couldn't replace or duplicate what they were like. Same if one of his brothers died, the others couldn't be like them. He didn't even want to think about one of them dying too.

A single silent tear fell from Castiel's eye. He hastily wiped it away in hopes that Dean didn't see it. Dean did though. Dean could see all of the grief swimming in Castiel's pools of blue. He could see that the thoughts were rushing round his head and he could see that Cas was hurting. The pain was written all over his face. 

"Lets just do this stupid project" Cas groaned, his voice hoarse from holding back the sobs that begged to leave his throat. He felt around his floor until he grabbed a pen, a pencil and a notebook. He slid the equipment over to the left which was where he guessed Dean was. 

"Cas we don't have to do it now, we can talk if you w-"

"No!" Castiel replied hastily, instantly regretting it. It wasn't Deans fault so he shouldn't take it out on him. "Sorry, it's just...Not now, I can't talk about this now." He told him trying to push any thought of his dead family from his head. He tried to replace them with the good memories. 

He remembered when Anna, who was older than all of them, took all of them to the park when she was fifteen just to get them away from the commotion at home. She got beat up pretty bad for leaving without permission but she told us it was worth it. She really did care. Anna was three years older than Michael and Lucifer. She was getting ready to move out soon. She had a boyfriend, she was finally content and it had to be snatched away from her. 

Cas' thoughts were catching up with him again but he wouldn't let them. "So we have to talk about peoples status in society depending on their gender, race and sexuality" Cas said, clearing his throat and trying to clear his mind. 

"So gender, we know that boys are usually percieved as higher up than girls" Dean stated, still worried about Cas but he saw that Cas didn't want to talk about it so he let it go for another time. 

They flew through the gender issues, picking up that girls are thought of as weaker than boys. That girls have more judgement from society while boys are seen to be more powerful and more able bodied than girls. For race they thought that it was pretty equal now but racism did still exist, especially for people of colour. Although most people were accepting of peoples race now. Then it came to sexuality, something Dean knew all about being bisexual and all. 

"Gay people have a certain stereotype so if you are that way then people think you're gay just because of how you walk or dress" Cas said as Dean wrote down notes about it. "Bisexuals could be seen as being 'confused' or 'greedy' which is complete bullshit anyway but societys an asshole" He added. 

Dean smiled at that. He loved knowing that Cas was accepting of bisexuals. It made him feel happy and warm inside. Was he really starting to crush on Cas? Cas was probably straight anyway. "I'm bi" Dean blurted out. It had taken him months to even contemplate coming out to his closest friends and Sammy but with Cas he just had no hesitation. 

Cas smiled and looked over to where he thought Dean was. "That's cool Dean. I don't judge you for it" He assured Dean. That made Dean feel even better and his smile grew even wider. Even though Cas couldn't see it he could feel the joy radiate off Dean. 

"What are you? As in are you straight, gay, bi, what?" Dean asked. Cas bit his lip as if he was nervous, maybe he wasn't straight after all, Dean thought. No one had ever asked Cas what his sexuality was and he'd never 'came out' to anyone, not even his brothers. He was afraid, especially when his Dad was still around since he was homophobic. 

"You're the first person I've ever told this to so feel special. I'm Pansexual which is kind of like Bisexual but we don't see people as a certain gender it's just as people if you get what I mean. Since I'm blind I can't exactly be picky and I can only like peoples personalities not their physical apperance. So I would just fall in love with a personality no matter if they were male, female or didn't identify as a gender" Cas explained, he felt like a weight had been lifted from him. He had wanted so badly to tell someone since it had been weighing on him. He still needed to tell his brothers but he would get round to it. 

Dean felt honoured to be the first person Cas told about his sexuality but he also felt excitement. He liked Cas and Cas liked everyone, he had some kind of a chance. More chance than he had when he crushed on straight boys. "I'm the first person you told? Really? Not even your brothers?" Dean asked. 

"Not even them, you're the first. I do need to tell them but, I don't know, I don't want them to change how they look at me. I'll tell them at some point" Cas shrugged. Dean understood in a way. It was hard for him to come out to Sammy but with Cas he was the youngest of five brothers so it must be real difficult.

"Well just tell them when you're ready. It won't be as bad as you think though. So, back to the project. Bisexuals and Pansexuals probably face the same kinds of problems except Pan is less understood, right?" Dean asked, he just kind of wanted to finish it now but not because he was bored, hell just being around Cas was fun in itself, but because he wanted to talk to Cas about other stuff too. No emotional stuff, just normal conversation. 

They rushed through the rest of it, talking about Asexuals, Demisexuals and Heterosexuals. Once they had finished they were finally prepared for their presentation to their class. Cas was nervous though, he hated standing in front of people couldn't see. What if they were making fun of him? What if they looked confused? He would never know. 

Lucifer lit the lighter which was in his room, he kept the flame on until the metal was burning hot. Once it was he pressed it down onto his skin, burning himself with the scorching hot metal. He almost smiled at the pain. He looked down at his leg where his new burn mark had been added surrounded by countless other fading ones. He'd started doing this shortly after they all died. No one knew about it and no one ever would know about it. He just did it to feel something, he was so numb all of the time that he couldn't stand it. At least when his Dad was around he hit him, he could feel that. He felt that pain but now it was just nothing. He was a shell of nothing. He would rather feel pain than the numbness which surged through his entire being.


	5. Burning Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this update took kind of long. College is an asshole. I will update as often as I can.

Chapter Five:

It started off as a normal day. Michael had helped Cas that morning and everything was how it should be. It was the day of the presentation in Sociology. Cas was nervous to say the least. He wasn't good with public speaking, even if it was to a small audience. Dean had told him it would be fine. They had a plan that Dean would read the notes and Cas would explain each sexuality, racism and sexism. 

"It's going to be fine Cas. Don't worry your pretty little head about it" Dean told him as he guided him to his seat in Sociology. Cas hated it. He hated that he would have to stand in front of everyone, that all eyes would be on him. 

They sat through several presentations before the teacher called Dean and Castiel up. Dean stood up and helped Cas to the front. Once there he whispered to Cas that he would be fine. 

Dean was right, for the presentation everything was fine. Cas was able to explain what he needed to. He stuttered on some parts but soon regained himself. Dean of course was amazing, like he was at everything. Cas wished he could have the same confidence as Dean. Have the same charisma as him. Everyone just seemed to love Dean while Cas was overlooked. 

They sat down, everything was okay for a while until class was interrupted by the fire alarm. Everyone was calm until someone shouted in the halls that it wasn't a drill, that there really was a fire, that's when everyone began to panic. Cas' arm tensed around Deans as Dean struggled to fight through the flood of panicked teenagers. He pushed his way through the crowd, dragging Cas with him. He needed to get outside and make sure Sammy was there, make sure he was okay. Even though this wasn't a drill Dean couldn't see any smoke or smell any fire so it must have been in the other side of the school. 

Dean finally pushed his way out of the doors to the school, he saw Gabriel and Michael run towards them and so Dean told them he had to go, he had to find Sam. 

Cas felt a force slam into him and hug him close. He hugged back. "Thank god Cas" Michael's voice sounded. Michael let go before Gabriel linked his arm with Cas' and they walked down the steps, away from the school. 

"Who's here?" Cas asked, he knew Michael was but he didn't know about the others. He was kind of worried but he didn't worry too much, there was no need, right? 

"Me and Gabriel. Balthazar and Lucifer haven't come out yet" Michael told him. Cas could sense the fear in his voice, they could not lose another sibling. It would be too much. They just hoped that they were okay. 

"Dean, Dean!" Sam shouted through the crowds of people. Dean could hear Sams voice, he stood on his tip toes trying to find Sam. Once he spotted a mop full of hair on a small persons head, he knew it was Sam. He barged through the people, students blurting curse words to him as he did so but he didn't care. He got to Sam and hugged him close. 

"Dean! I'm so glad you're alright" Sam sighed in relief before letting go of his brother. He was so scared, Dean was all he had. It's not like their Dad was ever around. Without Dean he would have been alone. From the outside of the building Dean could see the smoke, there was a lot of it but it was the opposite side of the school to where they were.

"Of course I'm alright buddy. Don't worry about a thing. Come on, I've got to go and make sure someones okay" Dean said as he led Sam with him, heading back to where he last saw the Novaks. 

"Call Balthazar if he won't pick up!" Gabriel told his older brother, keeping Castiel close to his side almost as if he let go something bad would happen. Michael dialled Balthazar's number after Lucifer wouldn't pick up. 

"Balthazar! Where are you? Are you alright?" Michael asked urgently when Balthazar answered. "We're at the front of the school...Why? Wait where are you? God damn it...There's a fire at school...We're missing Lucifer...Fine...Bye" Michael groaned in a frustrated tone. "He's not even here, he skipped class and walked out. For once that's not a bad thing. He said he would come here though" Michael told them. 

Dean spotted the worried looking Novaks, there was still only three of them there. "Lucifer and Balthazar not out yet?" Dean asked as he stood beside a stressed Michael. 

"Balthazars not here, the little shit skipped class but Lucifer...He won't answer my calls" Michael told him. He was so scared. Lucifer was his twin, no matter how many fights or aguments they got into nothing would change that. He could not go on without his twin brother. He always thought of the worst possible scenerios for any given situation and this was it. 

Most people were out of the school at this point, a few people leaving every ten minutes. Lucifer was still a no show. Now they were getting really worried. The fire department arrived but Lucifer had yet to leave. Michael kept trying to call him but it wouldn't work. He tried one last time and he got a reply this time. 

Lucifer lay on the floor in the toliets, he never meant for this to happen. He was having a bad class. He needed to get out so he went to the bathroom. He lit his lighter and burned his leg with it, nothing bad happened. He left the stall and lit the lighter again, strangely fascinated by the flame. Little did he or anyone else know there was a minor gas leak in the pipes which happened to be right by where Lucifer was, the sinks. 

Suddenly he was thrown back by a hot and powerful force. When he woke up he could hear the loud ringing of the fire bell and the smoke filled his lungs. His phone was vibrating across the bathroom. He crawled towards it, trying to breathe but he kept coughing up blood. He answered the call. "Help...Me" He choked, his voice dry and raspy. 

"Lucifer! Where are you? Tell me, I will tell them to come and get you" Michael told him, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. Cas and Gabriel perked up at this. Lucifer had actually picked up. 

"Boys bathroom...Upstairs...Place where the fire started...Hurry" Lucifer told him before the line went dead. Michael ran towards the firefighters and told them where he was. Two of them told him they would get him out, they promised. He watched as they ran into the building. Michael went back to his brothers, Sam and Dean, they all had questioning expressions. 

"He's in the fire, they're going to get him" Michael sighed rubbing his neck with his hand. Gabriel put his arm around Cas' shoulders and pulled him close to him. 

"He'll be okay guys, he's a tough one. They'll get him out and he'll be okay" Dean told them. He couldn't comprehend how they even felt right now. They all had the same expression of a mixture of fear, concern and sadness on their faces. 

As Lucifer tried to crawl towards the door, gasping for just a slight breath of air he started to black out. His vision became blurry and his eyelids were heavy. He tried, he tried so hard to reach the door but he felt like the closer he got the door just moved futher away.

Suddenly the rush of feet sounded in the room. He saw the   
silhouettes of two people. One of them grabbed his left arm before the other grabbed his right. They put his arms around their shoulders and began to walk him out of the building. As soon as he left the room he felt his temperature instantly go down wnd his sweating became less intense. The two people supported him until he saw the light of day. It hurt his eyes, burned them. He could see a crowd of students outside, they were all looking at him. The two people who carried him out walked him down the steps and into someones arms. 

Lucifer looked up, it was Michael. He was so happy that he was okay, he hadn't hurt his brother. "Support him while we call an ambulance, which should have been here five minutes ago" A foreign voice complained near Lucifer. 

"I'm so glad you're okay" Michael breathed as he cradled Lucifer in his arms. Lucifer was bleeding, had burns on him and looked like hell but he was safe and that's what mattered to Michael. 

"Luci" Cas' voice sounded behind Michael. Michael turned slightly so Lucifer could see Cas and Gabriel. His eyes were half closed but he could still make out his brothers. His vision was a little blurry but Michael was right, he was okay. 

"Hey Cassie, Gabe. Don't look so down, I'm fine" He told them in his dry voice. Just as he said this he began to cough up blood again and collapsed onto the floor, Michael followed him. He continued to hold him to try and protect him. 

"It's okay, come on. I've got you" Michael soothed as Lucifer coughed into his hands leaving the blood on them. Dean watched on and he had to admit he was damn happy that he wasn't one of the Novaks right now. He was happy his brother was safe. Sam looked kind of scared like he was traumatized. Dean just pulled Sam closer to his side. 

"Michael...W-Where's Balthazar?" Lucifer asked, his head lolling to the side as he did so. Michael put his hand behind Lucifer's head to stop him from hurtinf himself futher. 

"He's fine, he skipped a class and left school. Don't worry, just worry about yourself" Michael told him. Lucifers usually blonde hair was matted with blood. Blood surrounded his mouth and Michael was scared as hell. Lucifer had to be okay, he was strong. He had to fight this. 

"Hey, guys w-" Balthazar stopped when he saw Lucifer lying on the floor, barely consious in Michael's arms. His smile quickly faded and his usual glow dampened. Gabriel reached out a hand and put it on his shoulder. He carefully pulled Balthazar towards him. As he moved he didn't take his eyes off Lucifer. He was so confused. He knew Lucifer wasn't out when Michael called but he didn't think it would be this bad and Lucifer seemed to be the only one injured in all of this. It would happen to their family.

Sirens sounded in the distance ro signal that the ambulance was coming, finally. "Hey, you hear that? The ambulance is going to be here soon. You're going to be fine" Michael thought aloud, more to comfort himself than comfort Lucifer. Lucifer's eyes rolled and his lips tugged into a small smile. 

The students made a pathway for the ambulance to get through. When it finally got to the front it had to swerve Michael and Lucifer. The paramedics got out and ran towards them. "You have to move out the way, kid" One of them told Michael. He lowered Lucifer to the ground and stood up. He backed away to stand beside his brothers. Cas tried to grip Michael's wrist but accidently pinched his leg. Michael jumped but he understood what Cas was trying to do. He held on to Cas' wrist much to the comfort of both of them. 

Balthazar hadn't said a word, just kept his eyes fixed on his brother. He wasn't even sure if he had blinked. The Paramedics put Lucifer on a stretcher and began to carry him into the ambulance. "Hey! Can we come in too? We're his brothers" Balthazar shouted to them. They ignored him until they got Lucifer into the ambulance and slammed the doors shut. 

"Make your own way" One of the Paramedics shouted back before they sped off. Balthazar's blood boiled, how the fuck could they be so rude? The ambulance sped away as the students once again made a pathway for it. Once the sounds of it's sirens barely echoed in the distance there was just silence, some students left while some just watched the Novaks. 

"We need to get there" Gabriel sighed, breaking the silence. His voice seemed to echo. "How do we get there?" He asked to no one in paticular. He was greeted by an overwhelming silence. They couldn't just stand here like idiots.   
"If you guys need a ride to the hospital I can take you" Dean spoke up. He knew if his Dad found out he'd let other people in his car besides him and Sam he would kill him but this was their brother. They needed to get to him somehow. Sam looked up at Dean with a look of horror on his face, he knew his Dad's rules about the car and they could never be broken. 

"Dean, really? Are you sure?" Cas asked as he stepped forward slightly but still held Gabriel's arm. Dean smiled despite the difficult situation. He smiled because he would be able to take them to their brother. If he was in their shoes he knew how much he would be freaking out and how much he would appreciate someone taking him to the hospital to see his brother. He couldn't not help, especially since he became close to Cas, he couldn't just watch him break down without trying to help. 

"Of course, come on it's over here" Dean told them and began to slightly jog towards the Impala. Michael and Balthazar were closely behind. Gabriel led Cas towards the car while Sam hung back, close to Gabriel and Cas. He was nervous about letting other people in the car. Whenever they didn't follow their Dad's orders nothing good ever came out of it. He just hoped he wouldn't find out. 

They all made it to the car, Sam and Dean sat at the front. Michael, Cas, Gabriel and Balthazar had to squeeze into the three seats at the back of the car. There was a lot of uneasy shuffling and they kept accidently jabbing eachother. Balthazar was half sitting on Michael's lap and Gabriel was pushed up against the door. It was going to be a long drive.


	6. No Place Like a Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the lack of updates. College is a bitch. I will try and update more if I can.

Chapter Six: 

The car journey was quiet and agonisingly slow. The only sounds were from the engine and the occasional 'you're hurting me!' They arrived at the hospital in around forty five minutes. As soon as they were there Michael went to the front desk to ask where Lucifer was. Sam and Dean sat down in the lobby so they could wait for them. 

Gabriel was still taking care of Cas. He was walking him through the doors after having to walk him up the steps which was a pain in the ass when they were rushing to see if their brother was okay. "I'm scared Gabriel. What if he's not going to be okay? What are we going to do?" Cas asked once they were inside the hospital. He had a look of pure fear in his sightless eyes and concern written all over his face.

At this Gabriel stopped and held Cas by both of his shoulders, gripping them tight. "Listen to me Cassie, he's going to be fine. This is Luci we're talking about, you know he doesn't give up on anything. You know that he's a fighter and that he won't let some smoke and a little fire get him down that easily. Don't worry about it, don't be scared. He'll be okay" Gabriel told him before hugging Cas. Cas burried his head into Gabriel's shoulder. "It's okay. It's okay Cassie. I've got you" Gabriel mumbled to his, not so, little brother. 

Dean spotted them from across the lobby and hoped they were okay. He hoped they all were okay. Michael whispered something to Balthazar before the younger brother ran over to the still embracing Gabriel and Castiel. 

"Sorry to break up the love fest but we can go and see Luci, he's okay, come on guys" Balthazar seemed to glow as he talked with a wide smile playing on his lips once again. Gabriel and Cas let go of eachother. Gabriel began to follow Balthazar, leading Cas with him who was trying his hardest to keep up, stumbling and tripping along the way. 

Dean and Sam watched them take off with concern. They had to stay since they were their ride home. Either way Dean wanted to make sure Lucifer was alright. "Dean! What were you thinking? Dad's going to kill us if he finds out about this" Sam said in a harsh whisper. 

"Relax Sam, he won't kill US, he would kill me. Anyway theres no way he could find out about this. Don't worry about it" Dean told him. He didn't know why Sam stressed so much. Dean was laid back but Sam constantly stressed. Dean was sure it wasn't even healthy to stress so often. "Besides this is their brother who was just in a fire and Cas is my friend. I couldn't just let them get three buses down here which would have took twice as long when I have a perfectly working car" Dean told him, as if trying to reason with Sam. 

"I guess. I still think he's going to find out though. Somehow" Sam mumbled, more to himself than Dean. Their Dad was able to see through their lies a lot of the time. He was observent and knew Dean and Sam inside out. Or so he liked to think anyway. 

Michael was the first to reach the door to Lucifer's hospital room. He took a deep breath before opening the door and peering in. "No running in the corridoor!" Michael heard a Nurse shout before Balthazar bumped into him. Michael just rolled his eyes and walked in, closely followed by Balthazar. 

"Hey guys, you came" Lucifer smiled warmly at them. He had tubes in him and had burns on all his visible skin. Despite this the burns weren't as bad as they had expected. They were more like raised red blotches than severe burns. 

"Of course we came. How are you feeling?" Michael asked, smiling back at him and walking towards the bedside. Just then Gabriel and Castiel rushed in, bumping into the door frame as they did so. 

"Hey guys...I'm okay, don't worry" Lucifer assured them, sitting up right. He sucked in air as it hurt when he sat up but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He just wanted to go home, he would if he could. "Did they say when I can come home?" He asked. He hated hospitals with a passion. Last time they were at a hospital it was because of their parents and Anna.

"Not yet, just ask the Nurse or Doctor when they come in. Unless we see one before" Michael shrugged. Lucifer nodded in agreement. He just wanted to get out. They'd all become way too familiar with hospitals in their time.

"Luci, do you...Uh...I know this is weird but do you have a lot of burns? How bad are they?" Cas asked awkwardly looking down at his feet and fidgeting. They all looked to Lucifer who's face softened at his little brother. Lucifer always had a soft spot for his brothers but when Cas just seemed so helpless it just always struck a nerve in him. 

"It's not weird Cassie. Come here" Lucifer smiled. Gabriel helped Cas towards the hospital bed and allowed him to sit next to Lucifer. Lucifer grabbed Cas' hand and lightly placed it on one of his more severe burns on his arm. "You feel that? That's one of the worst ones, trust me I'm fine" Lucifer assured. Cas' fingers lightly danced over the burnt skin before removing his hand and smiling at his brother. 

"You'll be okay, you always are" Cas told him before hopping off the bed. He stumbled slightly but soon regained his balance and walked in Gabriel's general direction. Gabriel grabbed Cas' wrist and led him towards him. 

"Me and Cas can go and find a nurse to ask when you can come back home, we'll be back soon" Gabriel told them and Cas just followed. Gabriel was walking slow, too slow. He was usually energetic and flamboyant but he didn't seem right. His hand was wrapped loosely around Cas' wrist, it was usually tight. Cas knew something was wrong.

"Gabriel, are you okay?" Cas asked him, stopping in his tracks which made Gabriel stop too. The older brother sighed and ran his hand through his long hair. 

Gabriel smiled and his eyes lit up as if Cas could sense the change and he did. He sensed how fake he seemed to become. "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" Gabriel asked trying a little too hard to be happy. 

"Don't lie to me" Cas told him bluntly. Gabriel knew it wouldn't work but it was worth a try, nothing ever gets past Cas. Even without his sight he was able to read people well. 

"Do you realise how much trouble Luci could get in for this? He was in the same room where the fire started. He's going to get the blame even if he didn't do anything. Setting fire to a school would be a fine we can't afford or at least a few months in jail. We nearly lost him to that fire we can't lose him again. If they blame him there has to be a way to turn this on the schools shitty building or something. I'm just...I don't know, just stressed and worried" Gabriel ranted. He had been wondering how the fire started and it wasn't like Lucifer was the best behaved kid. He feared of what Luci did if he did anything at all but he didn't want to ask him yet. 

"Don't worry about it, not yet. Worry about him getting better first" Cas told him tightening his hold on Gabriel's wrist. Gabriel smiled slightly at his brother and this time it wasn't forced. Cas was right, there was no need for him to worry yet. Gabriel was about to talk when he saw a Nurse walk by. 

"Hey excuse me, Nurse lady!" Gabriel called. The Nurse turned on her heel to face Gabriel and Cas. She raised one eyebrow as if annoyed. "Hey, would you be able to find out when our brother can come home? He was in a school fire today, his names Lucifer Novak" Gabriel asked the pissed off Nurse. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Course I can, just...follow me" She sighed. Gabriel tugged Cas behind him. She was speed walking which Cas can't keep up with. 

"My brother's blind, he can't walk that quick because he gets cautious of bumping into people. Do you mind slowing down a little?" Gabriel asked. At this point the Nurse didn't even reply she just walked slower. They walked all the way back to reception and Gabriel saw the Winchesters were still there. Dean spotted them and jogged over to them. "Dean's coming over" Gabriel whispered to Cas. For some reason that made Cas feel strange inside, like a warmth in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey Cas, Gabe. How's Luci?" Dean asked. Cas could feel Dean standing beside him. Their arms slightly brushed against eachother. 

"He can leave tomorrow" the Nurse interrupted. "So long as he doesn't deteriorate over night he can go home then" She sighed before walking off, dragging her feet along the floor. 

"There's your answer Deano. He's okay. Come on Cas, lets go back" Gabriel insisted as he began to walk off but Cas didn't move. 

"I need to pee" Cas whined. In his house he could usually find the bathroom without assistance but here, there was no way he could find it on his own. 

"Cas, can't you hold it? I have to tell Luci the news" Gabriel asked hopefully but Cas just shook his head. Gabriel ran a hand through his hair and sighed. 

"I'll take him" Dean offered, slightly raising his hand. Gabriel nodded to him before quickly running off down the hall to tell Lucifer the news and who could blame him? He just wanted to tell him he'd be out soon. 

Dean grabbed hold of Cas' hand and they began to walk towards the bathroom. Cas noticed how their fingers interlocked perfectly and the spark that was sent through him when their fingertips touched. He was confused about these feelings. He'd never really had them before. He asked himself did he like Dean more than a friend?


	7. For The Love Of Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick update! Yay! I appreciate all your comments, you guys are extremely sweet. Also I have a feeling you will love a few parts of this chapter. Enjoy

Chapter Seven: 

"We're here" Dean told him as he began to open the door to the mens toilets. He felt Cas squeeze his hand which caused him to stop and turn to look at him. He was almost looking in Deans eyes, almost. 

"Do you mind if it's the uh...disabled toliets? I get kind of self conscious in the normal ones" Cas asked, now looking down at his feet awkwardly. He hated how he felt in those 'normal' toliets. He felt like everyone was judging him because he needed help. 

Dean softened his eyes at that. He wished Cas wouldn't feel like that. He was perfect the way he was. Just because he was blind didn't mean he was any less than anyone else but it was Cas' choice and he certainly wasn't going to say no. "Yeah, of course. Sorry" Dean muttered before walking slowly to the door just a few steps from the mens toliets. "Do you want me to come in with you? I won't look or anything" Dean told him and it was the truth. Sure he may have a little crush on Cas, or maybe a huge crush, but that wouldn't mean he would take advantage of his vulnerability. 

Cas nodded slowly, biting his lip. Dean opened the door and led Cas towards the toliet in there. Cas felt the bars at the sides of the toliet and held them in order to tell where he was. "I'll be in the corner, looking away. Just tell me when you're done" Dean told him lightly touching the small of his back. He walked off but kept his hand there until his fingertips could no longer reach. 

Cas could hear Deans footsteps moving away and he did his buisness. But when he had finished he didn't move. He didn't even breathe. His chest felt so tight, as if he was about to break down and he was. Tears filled his sightless blue eyes and fell from his face. He tried to hold back his sobs but it hurt. 

"Cas are you done?" Dean asked, worried about the lengthy silence that filled the room. He heard a choked sob before he turned around. Cas was holding the bars by the toliet with his head bowed. It was as if they were holding him up. He saw Cas' body shaking and walked over to him. "Cas..." Dean whispered before his hand returned to Cas' back. Cas turned around and Dean saw his blotchy face and red eyes. 

"Dean...I-" Cas breathed, being cut off by his own sobs. Cas' face suddenly screwed up before he quickly moved his arms from his sides and placed them around Dean's neck, hugging him. Dean hugged Cas back, one hand was still at the bottom of his back while his other arm crept around Cas' mid-section. He felt a wetness on his neck from Cas' tears and could feel his hot breath ghosting over his cool skin. 

"Hey, it's okay...it's okay Cas. Just let it out. I've got you" Dean assured him slightly rocking Cas in his arms. Cas clutched at Dean's shirt. Holding it tightly. His eyes were closed and his head burried into Dean's shoulder. He was so overwhelmed by everything. 

"What's taking Cas so long?" Michael asked. When Gabriel had returned to the room he told them he had just gone to the toliet and that Dean had taken him. That was at least fifteen minutes ago. 

"I don't know, wait another ten if he's not back I'll go and make sure he's okay. He's probably just talking to Dean" Gabriel shrugged. Cas and Dean were close and so Dean could just be making sure Cas was okay. All of that feelings crap. A Nurse walked into the room. 

"Lucifer, right?" She asked with a raised brow. Lucifer nodded and sat up slightly in his bed. Pain killers were making that not so painful. "Before you leave tomorrow the Police have got to speak to you. We'll make sure it's not for too long though due to your condition" She told him with sympathy. He was only eighteen, he didn't really need cops trying to break him. She smiled slightly before walking over, tapping a needle and injecting it into Lucifers IV. "Just to help keep you hydrated, it will help your skin recover quicker" She told him. 

"Thanks" Lucifer muttered before she left the room. Once the door shut he lay back down on the bed, frustrated. He just wanted to go home. He hated this place. 

"Luci you have to tell us what happened, the truth. If you did set fire to the school. We'll find a way around it. Just tell us" Balthazar butted in sitting on Lucifer's bed. He bit his lip nervously and sighed. He didn't want to have to do this but it was the only way. He would have to tell them the truth, all about his self harm. He didn't want them to find out. 

"I-I'm sorry Dean" Cas sobbed before slightly pulling back from the hug but his arms remained around Dean's neck. In Dean's hold he felt a sense of security. It felt like home. 

"No, don't be sorry Cas. It's okay. I promise. I know you've had a crappy few months but you'll be okay. You're strong, you can get through this but it would be easier if you talk about how you're feeling more" Dean told him tracing his fingers up and down Cas' spine. It sent chills down his back and left goosebumps where Dean's fingers had been. 

"I can't Dean. It's not just been a crappy few months. Everything has been messed up from the start and I'm not just talking about my sight" Cas told him as a few more tears slipped down his cheeks. Remembering all those times he'd heard the cries of his brothers and sister when their Father was beating them. The amount of times he'd been beaten himself. He never remembered being called nothing but a 'mistake' by his Father. A mistake because he was an unplanned  
sightless burden, but he wasn't born blind. He wasn't born sightless. He was just an unplanned burden before it happened. 

"What do you mean? What happened?" Dean asked with concern lacing his words. He stopped stroking down Cas' back and instead kept a firm hold on him. It was almost protective. 

"My Dad, he was...he was a horrible person. He would physically and mentally abuse all of us, including my Mother and sister. In fact when they died he was driving. He was angry because Anna wanted to move out with her boyfriend and my Mom wanted her to, she wanted at least one of us to get out. He was going to drive them into the middle of nowhere, he threw her phone in the toliet so her boyfriend, Ash, couldn't text her or help and then of course. They crashed and died. I hate him Dean. Even though he's gone everything he ever said or did to me is still here" He told him, pointing to his head. Our half brother, Raphael, he even got hurt but he got out. His Mom got full custody of him after he came home with a black eye and sprained ankle. I can't forget Dean and I need to" Cas nearly choked on his last words. He's never told any of his previous friends any of this. Then again, they weren't really friends. "I don't want him to still be with me when he's not even alive" Cas sobbed. 

Dean hugged Cas again this time, tighter. He ran his hand through Cas' hair and held his head close to him. "Shh, Cas it's okay. He's gone, he can't hurt you anymore" Dean tried to hush him. Cas violently pulled back. 

"Don't you get it!? He can still hurt me and he is still hurting me. If he was here now he would just be shouting his mouth off at Luci and blaming us all for not helping him, probably hit us. He's still here with me and I can't make it stop!" Cas yelled at Dean. Dean watched Cas' lips as tears slid down off them, this would either upset him more or make him feel a lot better. Dean took his chances. 

"Cas, trust me. You are perfect. You are amazing. Everything negative he or anyone has ever said about you is a complete lie. You're a beautiful person inside and out. Never listen to the voices in your head telling you you're not good enough because you are. I believe in you Cas" Dean ranted to him. 

Cas' eyes were wide. He was shocked, nobody had ever been so nice to him. He really, really liked Dean now. His crush had just become even stronger. "Dean...You-" He was cut off by Dean's finger on his lips. He felt Dean's other hand slide up to the side of his neck. 

Dean was nervous but he wanted to do this. He needed to do this. He moved his finger from Cas' lips. He tilted his head and leaned down slightly before his lips met Cas'. At first Cas had no response but after a moment he too tilted his head, closed his eyes and kissed Dean back. Their lips caressed eachother in the most tender way possible. Each slight movement was cherished. The kiss was long, gentle and filled with so many emotions that could never be expressed in words.

They both pulled back at the same time. Dean's lips tingled with pleasure. He looked at Cas' slightly swollen and smiling lips before smiling himself. 

"Dean, that was...wow" Cas stammered. Dean laughed and kissed Cas' cheek lightly which made Cas giggle. It was adorable to say the least. 

"So...I mean...I don't know if I'm meant to ask or whatever but are we like...a thing now? If not do you want to be?" Dean asked him and saw Cas blush and try and hide his face by looking down. It wasn't working. 

"Are you asking me to be your boyfriend Dean Winchester?" Cas asked, lifting his head and this time Cas' eyes met Dean's. He may not know it but Dean sure did. 

"That's exactly what I'm asking" Dean told him. Cas lifted his hands up so he could touch Dean's face. He found Deans lips and replaced his fingers with his lips, lightly kissing Dean. 

"Does that answer your question?" Cas asked, smirking. Dean grabbed Cas' hand as if ready to lead him out. 

"It sure does" Dean smiled before they both exited the toliets, hand in hand. Just like before but they walked in friends, they walked out more than that. They walked out boyfriends. 

"...So I went to the toliet, walking around the halls isn't exactly fun. And I uh...I got my lighter out" Lucifer continued with his story. All eyes were on him. 

"Why did you have a lighter?" Gabriel asked. "Why did you get it out in the toliet? Luci do you smoke?" He continued with the questions. Lucifer shook his head and twiddled his thumbs nervously. He lifted his hospital gown slightly, so it exposed his thighs. 

"W-What are those?" Balthazar stuttered, his usual stance shattered and replaced with a firm and grounded one. He was tensing all of his muscles. Lucifer blinked and looked up at his brothers. 

Cas entered the room led by Dean who then left. "Why does it feel so...tense in here?" Cas asked. He was happy for once when the rest of them were not acting themselves, typical. Gabriel walked over to Cas but stopping in front of him. 

"Have you been crying?" Gabriel asked seeing the tear stains on his cheeks. Cas nodded slightly before being embraced by Gabriel. Cas smiled and hugged him back, letting go soon after. "We are going to talk later" Gabriel told Cas before moving to stand next to him. 

"I will ask again Luci, what are those?" Balthazar asked, frustrated with the interruption. Cas was confused, what the hell had he walked in on?

"They're burn marks I made with my lighter. I self harm" Lucifer mumbled quietly. That was the moment when Michael gasped, Balthazar covered his mouth in shock, Gabriel stumbled back slightly and Castiel's mood was ruined before he even had a chance to relish in what had happened with Dean. He instead was upset over his brothers confession.


	8. Officer Novak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter so...enjoy. It's also the winter break next week so I will be able to update even more

Chapter Eight: 

Castiel was suddenly awoken by the sound of the hospital door opening. He and his brothers had fell asleep at the hospital after Lucifer's confession. They had told Dean and Sam to leave, Gabriel got Dean's number so when they needed to go back home they could text Dean.

After Lucifer admitted he self harmed Michael took it the worst. That was so be expected, being his twin. They both cried a little and there was a whole bunch of 'I love you's' from all five of them. Least from Cas though. He was quiet, unusually quiet. Gabriel was worried about him. He had noticed the tear stains that graced Castiel's cheeks when he came back into the room and noticed his lack of words. All the others were too busy worrying over Lucifer, which of course, was understandable but this didn't make Cas' or anyone elses problems dissapear. Lucifer was more worried about Michael whileBalthazar just wanted to be left alone but they all knew it was a facade, he hated being alone. 

Cas didn't know who had just walked in but he felt the atmosphere of the room change. He felt a hand on his arm which helped him stand up. "Cops" Gabriel's voice whispered near his ear. Cas followed Gabriel's lead and scurried out of the room. They had to leave Lucifer alone for questioning. They already told him what to do. They told him to tell the truth. Sure, he might get punished for having a lighter but it wasn't like this whole thing was on purpose. 

"Lucifer Novak?" One of the two officers asked. He couldn't see the second officer, he was standing behind the first one. Lucifer nodded. He just wanted to get this over and done with. He wanted to go home. "I'm Officer Jenkins this is Officer...Novak, any relation?" He asked. Lucifer lifted his brows and bent to the side to see the man. 

"No relation" the officer said before stepping out from behind the first. Lucifer's eyes widened. There was no way he could get out of this. Not with him. Not with his Uncle Zachariah. 

"Why are you lying, Zach? I know you're ashamed of me but I thought you were supposed to be better than all that lying crap" Lucifer narrowed his eyes at his Uncle. He hated him. He was his Dad's brother, he helped with the abuse when he was round and did nothing to help. He hated Lucifer, really hated him. The other officer in the room looked to Zach, confused. 

"Well I wish there was no relation. Lets just get this over with, then we won't have to see eachother again" he smiled devilishly. Lucifer clenched his teeth and bit his tongue. He wanted nothing more than to just hit him but he couldn't do that. His overwhelming desire to go back home was greater than the one which told him to hit his Uncle. 

________________________________________________________

"Cassie, come with me" Gabriel said softly before leading Cas to a empty room in the hospital. He wanted to talk to him. Michael knew it and so did Balthazar. Those two had agreed to stay out lf it. Even though all of the brothers loved eachother dearly some bonds were stronger than others. 

"There's a seat here, I'll sit to the left side of you, okay?" Cas nodded and Gabriel did as he said, he swiftly moved to Cas' left side sitting down there just as Cas did so himself. "So Cas, what's up with you? If you don't want me to I won't tell any of the others. You can trust me" Gabriel assured him and Cas knew it was true. Gabriel knew more about him than anyone else. 

"I just feel like crap. I feel so...wrong, like I'm nothing. I'm broken, ever since I went blind I've been broken. Before that I was just another mistake but after I was nothing. I just...I hate myself, Gabriel" Cas sighed chewing on his bottom lip. His eyebrows were knitted together with anxiety even though he knew Gabriel would never judge him. 

"Okay. You listen to me right now. Castiel Novak you are far from nothing, you are one of the strongest and most inspirational people I know. I mean, just being able to come outside and go to a school full of people and places you can't see is amazing. Remember when it first happened? When you first became blind and you told me that you would never let it stop you from doing what you want, which at that time was probably just playing in the park and letting Anna push you on the swing. I know a lot has happened since then and you feel broken now but trust me, you can put yourself back together, you've done it so many times and you will always have me and the rest of us, Dean too. We love you Cassie because of who you are and that is one amazing person" Gabriel smiled, even though Cas couldn't see it he loved telling Cas his worth. Gabriel loved making people feel better about themselves, especially when they deserve to hear it as much as Cas does. 

Cas rolled his lips trying to stop the smile which was forming but he couldn't stop it. Gabriel had a way of making him feel a lot better. "Gabriel...thankyou. I-I don't even know what to say" Castiel stuttered causing a laugh from Gabriel. 

"It's okay Cassie. Don't worry. Anything else you want to talk about? Remember it's all top secret information which we won't share with any of the others if you don't want to" Gabriel nudged him. Cas giggled slightly. His mind went straight to Dean. But Gabriel didn't even know Cas was into boys, none of them did. He supposed since he and Dean were together he would have to tell them all sooner or later. In his current positive mindset it felt like he could tell Gabriel. He could finally tell one of his brothers that he was pan. 

________________________________________________________

"Right so, Novak. Let me get this right...you self mutilate your thighs using the lighter?" Officer Jenkins asked. 

"Yes, that's right. I lit it and there must have been a gas leak or something because it was just like an explosion" Lucifer told him. He hadn't lied. He promised his brothers he wouldn't lie and he was going to stick to it. 

"And those are the scars? Well although you shouldn't have been doing this I see no reason to press charges. You can go home and get some rest. If we need to talk to you again we will contact you but I highly doubt it" Jenkins told him and Lucifer sighed with relief as a smile spread across his face. 

"Jenkins could you give me a moment with my nephew" Zachariah stated. Lucifer shot daggers at his Uncle. He didn't want this. He hated him, so damn much.

"Screw you asshat, just go" Lucifer insisted. He knew he would lose his temper and he didn't want to do that. He just wanted to go home, that's all he wanted. 

_______________________________________________________

"This is so top secret and I'm not ready to tell any of the others yet, okay?" Cas told Gabriel. Gabriel was squirming with excitement at the fact his brother was in a relationship. He didn't care that it was with a boy, it made no difference. 

"Oh my god, okay. Tell them whenever you're ready. When you tell them we should invite Dean round to celebrate. Can I tell Dean that I know about this?" Gabriel asked excitedly,almost jumping out of his seat. 

"Yes, you can tell Dean. No one else though, promise?" Cas told him. Gabriel crossed his hands over his heart. 

"I promise this is so exci-" 

"Guys, get out here" Balthazar shushed as he came into the room. Gabriel let Cas hold his arm before helping him stand. 

"You've got to be kidding me" Michael's voice sounded. A police officer walked past the three brothers together. They reached Michael who was standing with Lucifer. Then from Lucifers hospital room emerged Zachariah. 

"Hey there boys, don't you all look terrible. Oh and Cas, you're still blind, too bad. It's your good old Uncle Zach. Listen to me, you little shits. You guys, your Mom and your pathetic sister killed my brother with all your bullshit. Don't think I'll let that go so easy boys" Zachariah warned them. He looked all of them in the eyes. Looking down on them as if they were nothing.

"Get the fuck out of here. We didn't ask you to come here. If you touch me or any of them don't think karma won't come your way this time" Lucifer told him, standing his ground and protecting his family. Meanwhile Gabriel was texting Dean to come and get them. He may have added in that he and only he knows about their relationship. He also mentioned their crazy Uncle was here. He knew Dean would get here as soon as he could. 

"This coming from the boy who is so weak that he hurts himself. Luci you're all talk and no bite. You always have been" Zach snarled at him. Lucifer didn't let that get him down. He was one of five brothers. There was a reason Zach was only one on his own. 

"If you hate us so much why are you still here?" Michael asked him. He wasn't about to let Zach speak to his brothers like that. No way. He had a responsibility to protect them. 

"Oh, Michael. You're still trying that whole protective thing. Wait until one of your little brothers dies and we'll see how you feel. My little brother died all down to those stupid women-" 

"They weren't stupid. Fuck you Zach. How can you say that about the only two who taught us how to live in this world while Dad just hurt us all the while. We don't want to see you and we dont want you to be a part of our lives, get the hell out of here" Cas spoke up. This shocked everyone but in a good way. Gabriel patted Cas' back with pride. 

"You heard him, douchebag. Get out" Gabriel added. Zachariah looked defeated but tried to keep his pride in tact. As if he ever had any pride. 

"Wow Cas, someones grown some balls but you don't intimidate me, none of you do especially a little, weak, blind boy who can't do shit" Zachariah laughed. He took pleasure in making others feel bad about themselves. That was what they hated most about him. 

"Cas is better than you ever will be. You are nothing compared to him or any of us. I may have a low self of steam but i know for a fact I am better than you. Just fuck off already" Balthazar told him. His temper was rising and he didn't want to see red. 

Dean text Gabriel saying he was outside and asking if their Uncle was still there. Gabriel just told him him he was still here but to stay in the car park. He wanted for himself and Cas to go outside to Dean before the others so that they could all talk about this whole relationship thing. 

"Aw little Balthazar. So protective. Do not doubt for one second that this is the last you're going to see of me. See you soon boys" Zach smiled before leaving the hospital

________________________________________________________

Dean was sitting outside as instructed. He left Sammy at home, he was tired and didn't want to come back again. He saw two Police officers emerge from the hospital. They would be coming out soon. 

________________________________________________________

"Me and Cas are going to go outside to wait for Dean. I'll text you guys when he comes but he said it's going to be about another ten minutes at least" Gabriel told them before he and Cas walked away. 

"Thankyou" Cas whispered to Gabriel. It was simple but Gabriel knew all the reasons for it. For not telling about he and Dean, for sticking up for him against Zach and for letting them talk to Dean alone about this situation. 

They exited the hospital and they walked through the car park looking for the distinctive impala. Gabriel found it and walked over before knocking the car window. It was near the back for the car park so there was no danger of being spotted. Dean got out of the car and smiled at the pair. He looked like he wanted to get closer to Cas but looked unsure of whether to or not.

"I know about your relationship guys remember, knock yourselves out" Gabriel laughed. At that Dean swiftly moved forward and hugged Cas, holding him close and in his tight embrace. Cas held on to Dean like his life depended on it. Gabriel smiled as he watched them. 

"Hey, you okay? What happened with your crazy Uncle or whatever?" Dean asked Cas but Gabriel was also free to answer. Dean pulled back a little to look at Cas' face and he was a mix of relieved and hurt. Relieved that he was now in Dean's arms and hurt because he knew his Uncle wasn't lying. He would get them back and they would see him again. 

"He's become a police officer and he was one of them who interviewed Luci about all that shit then after it he threatened us and called us a bunch of names. He's an asshole" Gabriel shrugged trying to hide that it bothered him. It didn't work. His voice was strained and his face kept twitching. "He said he was going to get us back because our Dad's dead. He asked Michael how he would feel if one of his little brothers died" Gabriel said almost in a dream state as he looked off into the distance. He looked at nothing and didn't need to his imagination was doing that for him. 

"What if he tries to kill one of us" Cas gasped as he had a realisation. "He was talking to Michael about WHEN he loses a brother. We know he would do it, he would kill one of us" He murmered under his breath. 

"When you said crazy Uncle I didn't think you meant that crazy. Just...none of you go out alone, not even Michael. He could still try and get to him too. Make sure your doors are always locked and be sure to protect eachother. I mean...I can help as much as I can but I don't know how much that would be when I'm not around all the time" Dean sighed. Their family kept getting more and more messed up. He thought his Dad was bad. 

"We will protect eachother, always. We can't let the likes of him take us down. After everything he did to us he doesn't get to add to it. Not anymore" Gabriel mumbled through gritted teeth. He suddenly blinked and his face turned back to a smile. He didn't want to be negative anymore. "So you guys, how cute are you?" Gabriel cooed over them. Cas burried his head into Dean's neck to hide his red face and flipped Gabriel off, keeping one arm around Dean's waist. 

"He's the cute one" Dean smiled. He and Gabriel both knew Cas would get embarassed which caused them to do it more. 

"Oh that's true. Cas is cute with his little cheeks and his blue eyes" Gabriel laughed. Dean laughed too and Cas tried to hold back his smile. 

"Stop it" Cas simply ordered. Dean laughed again hugging his arms further round Cas and kissing his jet black hair. 

"Okay lover boys. They will probably come out soon wondering where we are so I will text them but before that, any other cute things you want to do before they come out?" Gabriel asked. Cas moved his head out of Dean's shoulder and looked up in Dean's direction. He stood on his tip toes before he leant in, hoping he would actually kiss his lips. His lips met the corner of Dean's mouth, close enough. Dean moved his head so that their lips were plush against eachother. It wasn't long before tongues were introduced. 

"Come on guys I didn't ask for a show just if you wanted to do something cute. If I wanted to watch porn I would go online" Gabriel laughed, at this point it was already a good five minutes into the kiss. They pulled back. Dean kept his hand on the back of Cas' head and they leant on eachother's foreheads. 

"You can text them now" Dean told Gabriel before pecking Cas' lips once more and moving back but keeping his hand wrapped around Cas' wrist to guide him. 

Not long after the three brothers came out and were approaching them. Michael was next to Lucifer looking ready to support him in walking if he needed it. He was walking a little slow but that was to be expected. 

Balthazar walked behind them, kicking little stones on the car park as he did so. He dragged his feet along the floor. Michael turned back to him and softened his gaze. "Come on, Balth we've got to say strong. Remember what Anna used to say? As long as we have eachother-" 

"Nothing bad will happen...but she was wrong. Where is she now? She's ten feet under because she believed that stupid saying. She had faith in it and look where that got her. I'm not making the same mistake" he sulked. Lucifer walked back to him and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Listen to me. I will personally not let anything happen to you or any of you. We just need to stick together, okay? Now come on, keep your head up kiddo" Lucifer urged. Balthazar nodded even though he was unconvinced. He looked straight ahead and walked on. Michael and Lucifer shared a look of concern. They both would do anything to protect the others but what would that cost? How far would they have to go? 

________________________________________________________

Zachariah sat at his desk. He was plotting his sweet revenge on the boys. He knew that even as a tall and strong man he could never tackle five of them all at once but he also knew they would protect eachother. He saw this coming. He expected for them to do this so that he could do the unexpected. 

The five seemed to forget they weren't the only siblings out of the seven left. Raphael was still alive and Zach knew his exact location. Working for the Police had way too many benefits for him to count. He loaded a shotgun and placed it on his wall full with others like it. Some small and some large. He smiled at them before going to bed, leaving on his desk his plan. His plan on how he would kill Raphael with no interruption.


	9. Burns and Bullets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Managed to write this in one day after a surge of inspiration. Enjoy

Chapter Nine: 

The school had been closed for a week now and it was the first day back since the incident. Lucifer had been prescribed with creams and pain medication since the fire in order to help him recover. While he was slowly recovering, both emotionally and physically, he was not yet healed. His burns were still extremely sore and red. They were easily visible to anyone with a working set of eyes. The burns were everywhere. They were all over his body, including his face. While getting ready for school Lucifer covered his entire body with clothes, besides his face. The one place he could not conceal his burns. He wore a hat to accommodate for the small amount of hair loss he had sustained in the fire as well. He had small bald patches or patches with thinner hair than the rest of his head due to being burned in those spots. 

While Lucifer was busy self pitying his own reflection Michael was helping Castiel get ready for school. He had forced him out of bed as well as picking his clothes for him. He laid them out on the bed for his brother before swiftly exiting the room. Castiel was both excited and nervous about his first day back at school. He was sure everyone would be talking abut the incident and therefore the Novak family, especially Lucifer. Cas knew what it was like to be stared at and judged for things by the rest of the school so In a way he felt he could relate to Lucifer at this time. He sighed before getting dressed as quickly as he could.

Once he was done he banged on the floor three times signalling he was ready. Michael came in and laughed which left Castiel confused. "What?" He whined feeling paranoid. He heard his brother walk over to him before placing his hands on his shoulders.

"Your shirts on the wrong way round" He told him as if it were the worst news ever. Cas rolled his eyes before removing his arms from the shirt and turning it the correct way. "Better" Michael smiled at his younger and slightly shorter brother. He linked his arm around Cas' to which He responded by gripping his brothers arm tightly. As they were walking down the stairs they heard the bus outside. Lucifer had yet to even leave his room. 

"Lucifer come on, bus is here" Michael called up the stairs as he got near to the bottom of the steps. At that point Gabriel was about to walk out of the door when he saw Michael with Cas. 

"Hey, I'll take care of Cas. You help Luci" Gabriel insisted as he unlinked Michael's arm with Cas' only to replace it with his own. Balthazar zoomed past them running to the bus to distract the driver and stop him from going. This was always Lucifer, Balthazar or Gabriel's job. 

"Thanks Gabriel" Michael smiled before calling to Lucifer again. Gabriel and Cas began to walk out of the door. Balthazar continued to pester the driver forcing him to stay where he was. He made up a lot of excuses to help him stay there, many to which the driver did not care about in the slightest. 

"Excited to see Dean?" Gabriel asked in a whisper as he and Cas walked to the bus.

"See Dean? I can't even see you, I think I might have trouble seeing him" Cas retorted back in a snarky manner.

"You know what I mean smartass" Gabriel laughed as he slightly nudged his brother. 

"Yeah, I am. After all his crap being around him might make it a little better" Cas smiled at just the thought that was of speaking to Dean again, even though it had only been a week. 

They got on the bus as Balthazar continued to distract the driver from leaving, stalling for Lucifer. Dean watched with a small smile as they got on, seeing Cas for the first time in over week made his stomach flutter with butterflies. 

Michael and Lucifer emerged from the house, everyone on the bus had already turned in their direction, staring at Lucifer. His burns were visible to them and it made them whisper and talk about him. He got on the bus and looked out at the sea of eyes staring straight at him. He held his tongue before sitting down behind Cas and Gabriel, Michael sitting next to him. 

"Phew, I'll get on the bus now. Been great chatting to you-" he glanced at the mans name badge "Harold" he winked before boarding the bus, singing as he did so in order to try and get the attention on him, which he knew would be focused on Lucifer. "I am the one and only!" He sang as the doors to the bus closed and the bus suddenly moved causing Balthazar to fall. A snigger was heard throughout the bus and Balthazar smiled, happy to get the attention off his brother. He got up off the ground and dusted himself off before bowing to the students and taking his seat. A few minutes after sitting down, the whispering started.

"I heard he did it on purpose" One girl whispered.

"His scars are so weird" Another retorted. 

"Apparently he has a criminal record" Another claimed.

"Guys, how about you sit back and shut the fuck up. None of you know anything about the incident so what gives you the right to judge Lucifer or any of them. Just drop it and keep your inconsiderate opinions to yourselves" Dean shouted, his voice projecting throughout the bus. As soon as he did this he sat back down, his fists clenched at his sides. The students stopped talking and the bus became awfully silent. Almost to the extent that Lucifer would have preferred everyone to gossip about him. Despite the tense situation Gabriel kept poking Cas' side as Dean talked causing Cas to shove his brother. He nearly fell off the bus seat but saved himself by grabbing onto the side of the seat. 

Despite his light hearted reaction to Gabriel's teasing Cas did in fact feel a sense of pride swell up in his stomach when Dean defended his brother. It was extremely refreshing to know that Dean had not forgotten about how important Cas' family were to him. 

They reached school and Lucifer exited the bus. He began to walk down the narrow pathway towards the school. A crowd of people from each side of the path staring and whispering about him. "Stay calm Luci" Michael whispered in his brothers ear as they scurried down the narrow path together. 

"I got your backs" Dean whispered in Castiel's ear before he walked past his boyfriend and Gabriel into the school. Gabriel looked smug as he and Cas carried on into the school. He was still gushing about his baby brothers new found relationship. 

_______________________________________________________

 

Dean made his way down the corridors and met up with Benny who was at the end of the long hall way. "Dean! Oh my god I have news" Benny said excitedly, almost jumping for joy. "Guess who's dating Lisa Braeden? That's right me!" Benny said, not giving Dean a chance to answer the question. At that Dean was as equally excited as his friend. Benny had a huge crush on Lisa for years. Dean had been waiting for them, to get together for a long time. Even he had dated Lisa back when he was around 13. 

"It's about God damn time as well! How did it happen, I want the details. Did you guys kiss yet?" Dean asked excitedly. Benny laughed at his friends excitement, happy that Dean was as excited as he was about the relationship. 

"Dude, a man never kisses and tells" Benny stated, acting more sophisticated than he actually was. Dean shot a glare in Benny's direction. Ordering for him to spill the details by just a simple look. "Okay, yes we kissed. We were out while we had the week off and we were getting deep. Like real deep speaking about feelings and all that crap. Then she asked me if I liked anyone and I told her I did. She looked super disappointed and then I just kissed her and she actually kissed back. It was so exciting and man I've seen her a few times since and she still wants to be with me, like it wasn't just a one time thing!" Benny explained excitedly. Dean was so happy for his friend. One of his best friends who deserved to get the girl he had been after for years. 

"Oh my god Benny why didn't you text me? This is such important news" Dean asked, almost as excited as his friend.

"I wanted to see your reaction" Benny admitted smiling as he said so. "So any girls or...guys on the scene for you? I would have thought everyone would be after you. My sister always says your hot" He giggled. Whispering when he said about the guys. Next to no one in school knew about Dean's sexuality and Benny was not about to out his best friend to everyone else when Dean wasn't ready. 

"Well..." Dean smiled seeming to become shy,which was out of character for him. He was usually so confident and just the mention of the possible relationship made him blush. Benny became even more excited at this.

"No way! Girl or a boy?" He asked, ready to burst with excitement at any second. 

"He's a guy. He's super sweet and he's just...there's just something about him. He's perfect" Dean gushed. Not making eye contact with Benny but rather looking off into the distance while picturing his boyfriend. 

"Oh my god you are so whipped. Who is he? Do I know him? Can I meet him? Please I won't scare him off" Benny begged with pleading eyes, purposely making himself seem like he was begging. Dean laughed at that before clapping a hand on Benny's shoulder. 

"Not yet buddy. He's not out to his family yet. Trying to get him to do that soon. When he's ready I promise you will be the first to know" Dean assured him and it was true. When Cas was ready he would definitely like to introduce him to Benny.

"Oh, okay. It's cool. Don't try and rush him for me. Let him take his own time. Remember how hard it was for you to tell Sam. Just try and help him" Benny advised. He remembered how Dean was so afraid to come out to him and everyone else he had told so far. He wasn't afraid anymore he just didn't see the need to tell the whole school he was bisexual. 

"Thanks man, I appreciate it" Dean smiled before the bell went alerting students to go to their classes. Benny and Dean parted ways with a short hug. He rushed off to his first class, not wanting to be late. 

 

_______________________________________________________

 

"We have a new student, his name is Alastair and he will be joining you. I want you all to make him feel welcome. No snide remarks, nothing! Do you understand me!?" The teacher questioned looking straight at Gabriel. He looked behind him as if expecting to see someone else looking offended. Everyone just looked to him. He pointed at himself as the teacher nodded, rolling her eyes. 

"Excuse you Miss but you have the wrong student. I am not at all sarcastic and totally not the one to make snide remarks" He said, sarcasm lacing his words and a look of offence gracing his facial features. The class sniggered at Gabriel's words, including Benny.

"Shut up Gabriel. Sit down Alastair" she scoffed. The new student noted Gabriel's name in his mind. He was a Novak. He just needed to find the other four who resided at the school. He knew Castiel would be easy to distinguish. A blind boy with dark hair and bright blue eyes. Lucifer, a loud, blonde boy covered in burns. Easy to find. Michael and Balthazar however may be harder to distinguish. He knew Michael was Lucifer's twin with tan skin and black hair while Balthazar had blonde hair. He would be able to find them all. That was why he was here. He was here for the Novaks. 

_______________________________________________________

It was lunch time and Lucifer had not yet gotten into a fight although he had been close. Everyone was pissing him off. Staring at him, pointing, whispering. He just wanted to punch them all but he managed to restrain himself with a lot of help from Michael. They walked back from their first few lessons to meet their brothers. 

Meanwhile Cas was walking in the opposite direction, being led by Dean near a back entrance of the school. No one went there but just to be sure they hid behind some bushes. "I've been wanting to do this all day" Dean sighed before closing his eyes, leaning in and tenderly kissing Cas' lips to which Cas responded by massaging his lips in sync with Deans. The sensation overtook him and everything nerve in his body twinged. They broke the kiss, their fingers still entwined. "How are you? How's everyone?" Dean asked stroking his thumb across the back of Cas' hand.

"I'm about okay as anyone who saw their brother nearly be burnt to death would be. Lucifer's angry, Michael's just lost on what to do to help. Gabriel, Balthazar and I are just trying to pretend everything's okay. Trying to get it back to normal. Whatever the hell normal is anymore" Cas sighed. Dean understood. He remembered when he rescued his baby brother from the fire when he was just four years old but he didn't want to talk about that right now. He wanted to make sure Cas and his family were okay.

"I'm sorry, I know it must be difficult. With your crazy uncle as well. I wish I cou-" Cas suddenly covered Dean's mouth with his hand. 

Cas' hearing was better than most and so he was able to hear the faint footsteps approaching them. 

"Hey Dad, yes they are here. So what's the plan? Yeah...Okay. And you? When you shoot that Raphael kid make sure you make him bleed. Gotta go, I've got Novaks to spy on" Dean looked at the boys face as he vanished back into the school building. 

"We need to go back inside and tell your brothers. Now." Dean told him. Grabbing Cas' hand and quickly leading him inside. Cas didn't say a word. He was in too much shock. He didn't know what to say. He didn't recognise the boys voice. He had no idea who he was but he clearly was on a mission and that mission included him and his brothers. Dean spotted the rest of the Novak clan down the hall. He rushed toward them, informing Cas that they were just a few feet away. By this point Cas was near a panic attack. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt extremely nauseous. 

"Guys! Cas and I heard this guy outside, he was talking about you guys and...Cas?" Dean asked as he looked over at Cas. He was panting and sweating profusely. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Gabriel stepped forward grasping Cas by the shoulders. 

"Hey, Cas. Listen to me. It's okay. It's all going to be okay. Deep breaths. Come on now" Gabriel encouraged. Cas did not follow his instructions and fell to his knees in the, luckily, empty hallway. Gabriel dropped to his knees with him as did Michael, touching Cas' arm with the lightest touch. 

"He...He said that" Cas heaved trying to form a coherent sentence. "That he...his dad...was going to kill Raphael, he said...he was spying on us" He panted. Gabriel's eyes widened in shock. They couldn't catch a break. He couldn't think of that right now. He had to try and ease Cas' panic attack. 

"Cas, listen to me. No one is going to hurt Raphael if we leave soon, okay? We will go, we will get to his house and make sure he is safe. You gotta try and calm down for me" Michael tried. Castiel's rapid panting became less frantic. 

"It's okay Cassie. Deep breaths, alright?" Gabriel urged. Lucifer, Balthazar and Dean watched on wishing they could help in he situation but there was nothing they could do. Two people helping was ready enough to drive Cas crazy. His breathing became less erratic before Michael put his arms around his little brother, almost cradling him in his arms. 

"You're okay. We're all okay" Michael reassured not even believing that himself. 

"Did you see his face?" Lucifer asked Dean, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth so hard it must have been painful.

"Yeah, I saw him. I've never seen him before though. He was pretty tall, skinny, looked about my age...identical to him" Dean whispered as a boy emerged from around the corner whistling. Nobody else was around. 

Lucifer stormed over to the boy despite his clear injuries. As he did so the boy realised that was Lucifer. Blonde hair and scars. Definitely him. "You! Who the fuck are you!? I swear to god if you do anything and I mean anything to hurt my family I will personally bury you"

"His names Alastair. He's in my class. Who the fuck is your Dad you little swine?" Gabriel asked as he stood from his kneeling position and walked over to the boy. Balthazar soon followed. 

Michael just continued to hold his little brother. His breathing once again started to become erratic. Alastair looked over at them and smirked. "That's Michael and Castiel, am I right?" He asked pointing over to the pair. "You're Balthazar, you're Lucifer and of course, you are Gabriel" He said pointing to the respective owners of each name. "I have no idea who that is? Just some friend I presume" He shrugged pointing to Dean. Lucifer pushed the kid into the lockers, holding him from his shirt.

"Listen here you sick fuck. You will NOT hurt any of my brothers and neither will your Dad. Who the hell are you anyway? You better answer me or so help me I will beat you until you can't even stand anymore" Lucifer warned as the boy tried to escape his death grip.

"Just like your Father, hey Lucifer?" At that Lucifer's eyes widened and he punched he boy in the nose. How the hell did he know about their Father? Blood began to ooze from Alastair's nose to which he laughed in a twisted and sadistic manner. 

"One last time. Who the hell are you?" Lucifer asked with more force this time. Banging the boys head against the back of the lockers.

"I am Alastair...Alastair Novak" He smirked. Lucifer looked back at his brothers confused. "I'm your cousin"

"Guys, he's Zach's kid" Michael uttered as the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. "Zach wants to kill Raph" he mumbled. Cas buried himself further into his brother's chest as fear overtook him. 

Lucifer's grip loosened on his cousin. "Dean, watch him. Don't let him use his phone to tell Zach's we're coming. We have to go and save our brother" Lucifer said before throwing Alastair in Dean's direction to which Dean grabbed the boy by his now blood stained shirt. Lucifer walked over to his brothers, telling them he would steal a car and drive to Raphael's. He didn't want any of his brothers to come with him with the potential of getting hurt but Balthazar insisted. Michael perked up. 

"I need to come, they are my little brothers too Luci. Cas, Gabriel? Will you guys stay here?" Michael asked to which Gabriel visibly became annoyed. He wanted to help but he knew his brothers would be able to handle it without him and Cas needed him. 

"Yeah, okay. But you have to keep me updated, you got that? Text me or call me" Gabriel told them.

"Of course we will. Love you guys. Stay safe, yeah?" Michael asked to which Gabriel nodded. Michael kissed Castiel's hair before standing up to join his brothers. Cas leaned against the wall as he sat on the ground. 

"Love you too, if any of you get hurt I swear to god I will personally hurt you even more" Cas mumbled to which Balthazar laughed lightly. 

"We won't. See you later guys. We gotta hurry" Balthazar insisted before the brothers ran down the hall and towards the exit of the school. Just as they did so a group of students came around the corner to see the scene. Alastair being held by Dean, bleeding while Cas was slumped on the floor. 

Their eyes widened and they turned back the other way. "Crap" Dean mumbled. "We have to get out of here. We can't stay in the halls like this" he reminded them. Gabriel agreed as he reached into Alastair's pocket and found his phone. He smashed it on the floor at that. 

"Let him go Dean. He can't contact his Daddy anymore. If I ever see you around again, I will finish you, do you hear me?" Gabriel wanted through gritted teeth as Dean helped Cas stand up. Alastair spat in Gabriel's face with a small smirk on his face. Gabriel lifted his hand to punch him before the same group of students came around the corner again this time accompanied by a teacher. "Shit" Gabriel mumbled before letting Alastair go and running down the hall. Dean and Cas were not far behind. Cas knew the matter was serious and so he did his best to keep up. He could hear the teacher behind them shouting at them but they just ran towards the exit of the school. 

Once they were out they made their way back to the Novak's house, Dean texted Sam to let him know where he was if he needed him, explaining there was even more family drama for them. 

Hey made it back in little under 20 minutes. Once in Gabriel locked the door and closed the curtains, locking the back door and even the windows in the process. Dean and Cas sat on the sofa, hand in hand but not really sitting close together. Cas was worried and for good reason, they didn't even know their uncle had a son who happened to be just like him. Cas was just so scared and confused about the whole situation. 

Gabriel came back from double checking everywhere was secure and sighed but smiled at his brother and his boyfriend holding hands. "It'll be okay Cassie" Gabriel reassured with uncertainty gracing his tone. Cas wasn't stupid, he knew the risks to all of his brothers he was unable to be with right now. Any of them could get hurt. 

Dean's phone vibrated, he was getting a call from Benny. "One sec" Dean told them, unlocking his and Cas' fingers only to have Gabriel sit by Cas once Dean had moved. "Hey Benny, what's up?" Dean asked as he pinched he bridge of his nose. He could hear Gabriel and Cas speaking in the living room so he was able to speak to Benny without them hearing. 

"Dude where the hell are you!? The whole school is talking about you and the Novak kids. Apparently you beat up some kid called Alastair. Dean what were you thinking!?" He asked, almost scolding his friend. 

"Listen, you can't tell them anything. It's complicated. I promise I'll explain it all when I can. I just can't yet but trust me it's not how it sounds. You know I'm not like that. I will explain it when I see you but I can't right now. I'm a little tied up. Just cover for me" Dean urged. He heard Benny sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Course I will, stay out of trouble wherever you are now" He warned before disconnecting the call and returning back to he chaos throughout the school. As he watched the chaos he thought about how close Dean was to the Novak family. Maybe he was dating one of the brothers, Benny thought. He shook off the thoughts and returned back to he reality of loud halls and angry teachers.

_______________________________________________________

Lucifer, Michael and Balthazar arrived at their brothers house nearly two hours after they had stole someone's car from the school parking lot. A window was smashed and the front door was wide open. They heard a gunshot come from within the house. And ducked in the car. They all looked at each other, scared. They stayed silent for two whole minutes without any other sound besides their heavy breathing. Lucifer couldn't sit there anymore. He opened the car door and ran towards the house. "Crap" Michael mumbled following his twin with Balthazar in toe. 

Lucifer ran through the front door "Raphael!? Zach!?" He called out in he house. He heard the faint sound of cries coming from the other room. He quickly ran towards the sound to see Raphael and his Mother. Raphael was cradling his Mothers head and sitting in a pool of her blood. She had been shot in he head, right in he middle of her forehead. 

"Luci? S-She's gone. I don't...I don't know what to do" He cried, tears streaming down his face and his mother's blood seeping through his clothes. Michael and Balthazar appeared behind Lucifer. Balthazar gasped at the sight. "I can't believe that she-" he heaved as he tried to make a sentence. Michael barged past his brothers towards Raphael. He kneeled down in the blood and Raphael fell into his brothers arms. His tears soaking through Michael's shirt. 

"Where did he go?" Balthazar asked. Raphael pointed towards the back door as his sobs became more violent. He looked down at his Mother's corpse and the fact that this was he last image he would have of her hit him like a ton of bricks. 

Balthazar and Lucifer went towards the back door to see if there were any signs of Zach being here and there were none. He must have ensured that no one would find him. Lucifer called the cops, explaining that someone had killed their brothers Mom and that they needed to get him out of the house. He went back into the living room and told Raphael they had to go. He told him the police were on their way. Raphael stood up with Michael's arm slung around his shoulders, he never took his eyes off his Mother before he turned the corner and could no longer see her. They got into the car and drove the journey back to the Novak's. Balthazar texted Gabriel to let him know the situation. That they had found their brother kneeling in his own Mother's blood next to her corpse. How could he even explain that one?


	10. Getting Away With Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His is a short, crappy chapter tbh. College work is killing me but I wanted to get a chapter out after the last one. The next one will be out soon and longer than tis with more details etc. this is mostly just speech with the fallout after the incidents from the last chapter.

Chapter Ten: 

Zachariah got back to his house and removed his black hoodie, pants and mask. He immediately put them into the washing machine. He called Alastair but his phone was turned off. "Shit" he mumbled. Rushing upstairs to put on his police uniform ready for work. He rushed around the house hurrying to get ready for his shift which started in twenty minutes. He heard the door open and froze. 

"Dad?" His sons familiar voice echoed throughout the house. Zachariah tightened his belt before he hurried down the stairs to Alastair who was standing by the door. 

"What happened to your face?" He asked grabbing his sons face forcefully with one hand causing Alastair to hiss at the pain. He backed away from Zach who just put his hands up. 

"Lucifer happened, they're all assholes. Lucifer did this, Balthazar was just being a prick, Gabriel told them my name and that Cas kid heard me speaking on the phone with you. Michael was just trying and failing to be the protective older brother, just like you said. Did you kill Raphael?" Alastair asked, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as an ache began to irritate him which was caused by Lucifer shoving him against the lockers. 

"Lucifer did this? That little fuck. I thought maybe he wouldn't be able to do anything but clearly he's recovering quickly from his burns" he said thoughtfully, not making eye contact with Alastair. 

"And Raphael?" Alastair asked, becoming inpatient. 

"Not dead but his Mom is. The stupid bitch jumped right in front of the bullet. I only took one so that I could take the bullet out. That way they can't determine what sort of gun was used. It was quite the sight though, the kid over his Mother's body, crying. Covered in her blood" he almost smiled as he pictured the scene once more. "Anyway I have to go to work. Cook your own food, see you later" he said as he hastily left grabbing another gun on his way out. 

Alastair sat down in the dusty couch looking down at the floor which was so dirty there had to be parasites living in there. He hated this house but, according to his Dad, it was just temporary. A hide out where nobody could find them. He was always left alone in this place. He didn't even want to start the school but his Father made him and there was no way in hell Alastair was about to question his Dad. He knew better than to be that stupid. 

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel read the text from Balthazar aloud. "Hey we're on the way back now, Raphael's with us, he's okay. He didn't get shot but he's in a bit of a state. His Mom jumped in front of the bullet to save him. We found him lying in her blood, she was already dead when we got there. See you soon" Gabriel read as his brow furrowed and his eyes became watery. He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. His voice had become horse by the end of he text. Cas knew his brother was upset, and so was he. Even Dean was visibly upset. "He sent that nearly an hour ago. They should be here soon. I would have checked my phone sooner but you know, phones die" Gabriel shrugged. "Just like people" he mumbled, no focusing on anything in paticular. 

"Hey, Gabriel snap out of it" Dean told him standing up in front of Gabriel. He snapped his fingers in Gabriel's face before Gabriel's eyes met Dean's. "Listen to me, you have to try and stay strong for your brother, his Mom just died and you know exactly what that feels like. You have to try and put on a brave face for him. He needs you, all of you right now. You have to try and take care of him. Okay?" Dean asked, looking into Gabriel's eyes so that he had to listen. 

"Okay" Gabriel sighed taking deep breath. "You're right" He added running a hand through his golden hair. He looked over at Cas who was silently sitting on the couch, listening to the conversation and taking in every word of Dean's advice, even though it wasn't meant for him. They all had to remain strong in order to help Raphael get through this. When their Mother, Father and when Anna died they were all there for each other and without that Castiel believed he may not have been able to get through the grief and mixed emotions of losing three members of his family all at once. Raphael needed them. 

"I better go, you guys need family time. I'll see you later Gabriel" Dean smiled patting Gabriel on the shoulder. 

"Thank you Dean, I needed to hear all of that" Gabriel told him, he was ready to face Raphael confidently. He knew he would be able to help his brother. Dean just smiled in return, he didn't need to be thanked. He just wanted to help. He turned towards Cas. 

"Hey you" Dean began, placing his hand in Cas'. "You need to stay strong too, you need to help Raphael and your other brothers in keeping you all together. You need each other right now. If you need anything, both of you, Gabriel can text me and I promise I will be there to help. I'll see you later babe" Dean concluded kissing Cas' forehead and slowly unlacing their fingers. 

"Bye Dean" Cas breathed, feeling Dean's breath ghosting over his neck. He felt Dean move further away and knew he was going to leave soon and he was right. He heard the door close and then was met with a deathly silence. 

"You got a keeper there little brother" Gabriel teased, trying to lighten the mood before he plopped down next to Cas. Cas just nodded whispering a small 'I know'

_______________________________________________________

Dean made it home in just under ten minutes. He went to look at his phone to see what time it was only to realise his phone had died. Once he reached The door he noticed it was unlocked, Sammy never left the door unlocked. He opened it with caution. "Sam?" He shouted closing and locking the door behind him, the house was dark. "Sammy?" He called again to no avail. He walked into the living room to see the television was on. 

"What time do you call this, young man?" A voice sounded from the side of the room, he turned towards the sound. It was exactly who he thought it was. He smiled, beamed in fact. 

"Bobby" He sighed before his 'uncle' stood up and hugged him. Dean clung to him like his life depended on it, he had missed Bobby over these past few months. They released each other from the hug before Bobby grabbed Dean's face. 

"You've gotten even taller, boy. Better looking too" he laughed letting go of Dean's face with a smile gracing his. 

"What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you. It's just a surprise" Dean asked, still in disbelief. 

"Here to see you two idjits of course. Last I saw your Dad he said he wouldn't be home for a while and so since then I've been meaning to visit you two and now, here I am" He explained. "I meant what I said though, why are you home so late?" Bobby asked with a stern tone. 

"I was over at my...friends house, my phone died. No idea what time it is" Dean shrugged. 

"It's 1am, your brothers been asleep for the best part of an hour, he was down here waiting for you when I knocked the door. Of course he answered it with a gun in hand. I told him to go to bed" Bobby told Dean. "You better go to bed as well, you have school in the morning" He added, feeling like a strict parent. 

"Okay, I'm tired anyway" Dean lied. "Happy to have you back here for a while" He added, clapping Bobby on the shoulder. 

"Glad to be back" Bobby shouted after him as Dean walked up the stairs to his room. He went into his room and changed out of his clothes into some loose pants and a plain t-shirt. He then walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and pee. As he was walking back to his room he heard a door creak open behind him. He looked back to see Sam. 

"Where were you man? I stayed up waiting for you. I was worried after everything I heard at school. They said you beat some kid called Alastair up and all sorts of crap. You could have at least called!" Sam barked, tears brimming in his eyes. 

"Sam, I'm so sorry. My phone died, I promise I would have called. I was just helping a friend who needed me. I couldn't let them down. I can't explain what's happening since it's heir families personal shit. Just trust me, they needed my help and there was no way I could let them down" Dean explained, not naming the Novak's but Sam already knew it was them he was referring to. 

"At least call me next time, use someone else's phone. Just so I know you're okay" He sighed before disappearing back into his room. Dean felt guilt twang at his core. He felt terrible knowing that Sam had been waiting for him. He should have known Sam would be worried. He mentally scolded himself before getting into bed, staring up at the ceiling. Thinking about everything that had happened recently. His emotions where all over the place. He had no idea what he felt except that he had to keep Sammy safe and help the Novak's as much as possible. 

_______________________________________________________

Castiel heard the front door open and squeezed Gabriel's arm like his life depended on it. Gabriel did the same back as if to silently comfort his brother. Michael walked in first covered in blood. 

"Oh my god, are you okay!?" Gabriel bellowed, leaning forward but not standing since Cas needed to feel physical contact right now. 

"Relax, not his blood" Lucifer told them who walked through the door next. It was clear to Gabriel he was pretending to be okay when he wasn't. It was obvious. 

Raphael was next to enter as the room went silent. He looked over at his brothers and managed to form a small smile. "Hey Gabriel, Castiel" He choked, his voice quiet and weak just as Balthazar entered. Gabriel stood up to hug Raphael who responded by letting a few stray tears fall from his eyes. 

"I'm so sorry, we will do everything we can to help you get through this" Gabriel hushed him. Even though he knew they couldn't make his pain stop they could at least try and make him feel better. This was exactly what Gabriel intended to do for his brother. He needed them. Dean's advice kept running through his head as he realised how important it was for Raphael to get the comfort he needed right now. 

Gabriel let go of Raphael before offering him a sincere look of apology and sitting back down next to Cas. As soon as he did Cas' arm almost instinctually linked with Gabriel's. "We're here for you Raph, anything you need you can come to any of us" Cas tried,he had to say something. He couldn't just sit there in silence. Dean told him he had to stay strong for Raphael and that's exactly what he would try and do. 

"Thanks. Can I go and shower? I...I can't stand this blood over me" He admitted, looking down at his clothes drenched in blood. His own Mothers blood. He had to get out of them. 

"Of course, go straight up the stairs and it's the first door to the left" Michael told him. Raphael nodded thankfully before making his way up the stairs. Once they heard the door close it felt as if a lingering tension had left the room. They all sighed almost in relief that they wouldn't have to pretend they were okay in front of Raphael. "Gabriel, why the hell was the front door left open!?" Michael asked accusingly, pointing at Gabriel with a stern look on his face. 

"Dean only left like, three minutes before you guys came in. I must have forgot to lock it after he left" Gabriel shrugged. It wasn't a big deal to him. Nothing bad had happened and nothing that bad could have happened in three minutes anyway. 

"What if Zach had come in here and shot you? Or Cas? Or even Dean when he was in the way out. Did you even watch him as he walked to his car?" Michael argued, acting like an upset parent. 

"He walked home" Gabriel told him to which Michael was ready to hit Gabriel for being so god damn stupid. 

"Oh well that's just great. You better text him to make sure he's even alive! God Damn it Gabriel why the fuck have you got to be so stupid!? You're too reckless and you-"

"Michael, stop. Now" Lucifer warned as he stepped in front of his twin. He had put a hand in his chest pushing him away from Gabriel who looked extremely angry, his grip on Cas' arm tightened as if he was letting his anger out that way. 

"Gabe, you're hurting me" Cas broke in, trying to pull his arm away. Gabriel looked at Cas and stopped squeezing. Guilt swam in his eyes. 

"Crap, I'm sorry Cassie" He mumbled as Lucifer forced Michael to sit down. He sat directly opposite Gabriel eyeing him with daggers. If looks could kill Gabriel would be dead. Nevertheless the younger brother stared back with the same intensity, not about to let Michael walk all over him. Lucifer sat down next to Michael and snapped his fingers in his face. 

"Stop it right now, both of you" He scolded when Michael looked at him annoyed. Balthazar sighed and crossed the room sitting down next to Cas. The two younger brothers had no intentions of getting involved in the argument. No way. Balthazar was way too tired and Cas was just worn out. Cas touched Balthazar's wrist and immediately knew it was him. Just from the size and texture of his wrist. He let go and yawned before closing his eyes, unlinking his arm with Gabriel's. He curled up in a ball in between his brothers as he tried to sleep. Balthazar pretty much followed his example and leaned against the arm of the chair before facing away from his brothers and closing his eyes. 

Gabriel took this time to text Dean. Even though Michael was being a dick he was right, he should check to make sure that Dean made it home safe. 

_______________________________________________________

Dean heard his phone vibrate and sat up immediately despite him being oh so close to falling asleep. He knew he text would be from Gabriel. He opened the message, expecting to see some bad news. 

Hey Dean, did you make it home aright? Don't worry your pretty little head about anything for now. We're all okay. Cas is asleep, lazy boy. Just wanted to make sure you were okay?

Dean read the text with a small smile on his face. At least it wasn't bad news. He was just hoping that this would be the end of their family dramas but he doubted it would be. He texted Gabriel back to let him know he was okay but that he needed to sleep for school the next morning where he was sure he would turn into a walking, talking exhibit with everyone gossiping about him. He didn't care, not really. They were all assholes anyway. He just hoped they wouldn't take their frustration out on Sam. He didn't even know if any of the Novak's would show up for school tomorrow. Not that he would blame them if they didn't. They were already under strain, they didn't really need any more stress to add to that. He had no idea what Raphael would do, would they even accept another Novak being enrolled at the school after all the drama? Dean hoped so. He wanted everything to go back to normal for them, as soon as possible. Whatever normal was anymore. 

_______________________________________________________

Zachariah arrived at the scene he had been called to. He looked down at the familiar dead body on the ground belonging to Cecilia, Raphael's Mother. There were other police here already, examining the body. "Found anything?" He asked one of the officers,ensuring that he left no evidence behind. 

"Nothing. This guy sure knew what they were doing. Even took the bullet out of her wound. Her son will have to be spoken to soon. They suspect he's gone off with his brothers. They want to find out if he knows anything" He replied and Zach had to conceal his smile. He felt a sense of achievement with the fact that he had planned the whole thing perfectly. He was going to do it. He was actually going to get away with murder.


	11. I'm Ready To Tell The Truth

Chapter Eleven:

*One Month Later*

This would be the first day that all of the Novak's were in school together, including Raphael. It was his first day. After pulling some strings Michael was somehow able to get Raphael enrolled at the school. The day after the incident Dean was the only one to show up from the group and therefore got yelled at, a lot. It wasn't like he couldn't handle it. Then Balthazar and Cas came in a few days after, they also got shouted out but Balthazar promptly argued back. Gabriel was the next to show the week after the incident but by then most of the anger had died down, sure he got shouted at with a few stares but again, it was nothing he couldn't handle. He needed to get out of the house and away from Michael. They had been arguing frequently since he forgot to lock the door. Lucifer and Michael turned up two weeks after the incident. Not that Dean could blame them. They didn't want to leave Raphael alone and for good reasons, he needed support, especially in the first few weeks after the murder. The police had already talked to him and gotten his statement and he told the truth, for once there was nothing the Novak's really needed to lie about. They couldn't find any evidence against Zach though and so couldn't tell them that they knew it was him, only that they thought it was. There was no proof of any of it which meant Zach got to live as a free man despite his crimes which they were almost certain he was guilty of. It couldn't have been anyone else. Alastair hadn't been seen since the day that he got beat up. No one had heard anything from him.

As the Novak's entered school, all together for the first time there was a lot of speculation surrounding who Raphael was. He didn't really look like his siblings, he was mixed race but had a dark skin complexion. He was more stiff and rigid than the others in his look, stance and speech. He was just a little different. Raphael ignored the stares, rolling his eyes. Michael and Lucifer took him to the principal where he received a lecture on how lucky he was he was even accepted into the school after all that his brothers had done. Raphael accepted the lecture and so didn't make a big deal out of it. He got his schedule and left the office as soon as he could. The twins showed him to his first lesson where they saw Gabriel inside who waved and jumped out of his seat when he saw them. Lucifer sniggered a laugh while Michael looked on in distain. Lucifer saw this and just dragged Michael away from the door. Raphael slowly walked into the room, not changing his facial expression. Gabriel stood up and swung his arm around Raphael. "Hey everyone, this is my brother, yes that's right here's another one. His names Raphael and he's single as hell and ready to get down" Gabriel told he class just as the teacher walked in sighing when she noticed that the other Novak had clearly already arrived. She prayed to God he was nothing like Gabriel. She couldn't deal with another version of him. 

"Yes, thank you Gabriel. Sit down" She breathed. Gabriel just winked at her and took his seat causing the class to laugh at his charismatic ways. Benny high fived him once he sat down. "Raphael, you can sit too. Any spare seat is yours" She told the boy who just stood at the front of the class looking over his class mates. He walked through them and took a seat near the back just observing the others in the class. 

_______________________________

"There is a homecoming dance in two weeks and all of you are welcome to show up. Just do not bring any alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. They are not permitted" Mrs. Mills informed her class. "Go on then, go to lunch" She smiled as the students exited. Balthazar stepped up behind Cas who, by now was able to at least get out of his desk without falling since he was familiar with the route. He linked his arm with his brothers as they walked out of the classroom. 

"I am so going to get a date for homecoming, you should get one too Cassie. You're pretty I'm sure loads of girls would want to go with you. Do you like anyone?" Balthazar asked and Cas felt tense as the question was asked, he felt like he could come out to Balthazar and the others but not in a crowded hallway. 

"Actually I'm already with someone" Cas admitted to him and Balthazar stopped in the middle of the corridor. His mouth sprung open. 

"Cas oh my god why didn't you tell me? Who is she?" He asked, another awkward question. Cas just forced Balthazar to keep walking as they talked, he wanted to get to his other siblings as soon as possible to relieve this awkward situation. 

"I...Uh...I'll tell you when we get home" Cas told him to which Balthazar sighed with discontent. 

"Fine" he mumbled. They met up with their siblings and thankfully Balthazar didn't mention anything about the whole relationship thing but Cas had realised what he had done. He had to come out to Balthazar when he got home. He was deciding on whether to just tell Balthazar or tell them all. He had no doubt in his mind they would all be asking if he was taking anyone to homecoming and he couldn't lie. If he did go with someone the only person he would take as a date would be Dean. No other girls or other boys, just Dean. 

Once lunch was over the day flew by and Cas was sure it was because of how nervous he was about coming out. Halfway through his last lesson he had decided, he may as well come out to all of his brothers. He had nothing to lose but he just hoped they would all be as okay with it as Gabriel was when he first found out. Before he knew it they were on the bus drive home and Balthazar was itching to know who the mystery girl Cas had been dating was. Once they were off the bus Balthazar latched onto Cas like a leach. "Wait, where's Gabriel?" Castiel asked, wanting to consult him before telling the others. He felt his brothers hand touch his shoulder. "Can I speak to you alone, for like two minutes?" He asked.

"Course you can. Fuck off Balthazar" Gabriel teased causing Balthazar to flip him off before following his other brothers into the house. 

"What's on your mind Cas?" Gabriel asked just as the door to their house shut. Cas heard this and felt relief as he was with the one brother who knew and accepted who he really was already. 

"I'm going to come out, to all of them. Balthazar asked me about homecoming and about who I would take for a date. I told him I was already with someone and he asked me to tell him HER name but I told him I would let him know once we were back. I think...I think I'm ready to tell the others. Ive been meaning to for a while now" Cas told him, hoping Gabriel would agree with him. 

"I'll text Dean when it's done. He's going to be so proud of you. I'm proud, if they take it the wrong way. Don't worry they will just have to get used to it. I'm sure it will be okay" Gabriel reassured him with sincerity lacing his words together. 

"Let's just get it over with, I'm ready" Cas smiled before he reached out for Gabriel's arm and linked it with his own. He tried to keep his cool but he was a nervous wreck. His brothers judgement of him was one of the most important things to him. Their Mother always told them that she would love them no matter what and he just hoped that mentality had rubbed off on his brothers rather than his fathers homophobic views. As he heard the door creak open he felt like he was going into a battlefield where he could either triumph or lose everything. He was so nervous. They turned the corner and into the living room. In there all of the brothers had sat down as if they knew some sort of announcement was going to happen. 

"You sure you want to tell them?" Gabriel whispered as if the others couldn't hear him in the deathly silent room. They all looked on with intrigued looks on their faces. 

"I'm sure" he nodded reassuringly. Gabriel smiled up at his brother, keeping his arm linked with his in case he needed it. "So I...I told Balthazar earlier I was in a relationship and he asked what her name was. See the thing is that um...You all know the person who I'm with, he's quite close to us. Gabriel already kno-"

"He!? You're dating a he?" Balthazar asked once the fact that Cas had called his partner a male had registered. Cas just nodded and smiled in his general direction. 

"I'm not gay, I'm pansexual which basically means I only like people for their personalities rather than if they are a boy or a girl or trans, just anything" Cas told them, his voice quiet from his nerves. There was a silence as they all let what had just happened sink in. 

"So, who's the lucky guy who gets to date my little brother then?" Lucifer asked cheerfully, breaking the silence. Gabriel beamed at him, silently thanking him for understanding since that was exactly what Cas needed and deserved. 

"Oh...right nearly forgot that part...I'm...Uh...I'm dating Dean" Cas smiled, a blush spreading across his cheeks as the thought of his boyfriend. He heard the sound of steps coming towards him as Gabriel let go of his arm. He felt a light force hit him as arms wrapped around his back. 

"I'm so proud of you" Lucifer told him, rocking him in the hug. Gabriel smiled and texted Dean to let him know that Cas was out. Lucifer let Cas breathe by letting him out of his bear hug. He looked over at his brothers. Michael looked as if he was solving a problem, Balthazar looked a little confused while Raphael was wearing the same face he had been for the past 4 weeks. 

"Wait did Gabriel already know?" Michael asked. Balthazar looked up at that. 

"He told me first because I'm his favourite" Gabriel joked. "I've known for like, three months now. I'm amazing at keeping a secret" he boasted playfully. At that Michael's mouth twitched into a small smile. 

"That's...So kind of you. Gabriel, listen I'm sorry about all of that stuff before can we just forget it?" Michael asked his brother hopefully. Cas listened in with Lucifer's arm swung around his shoulders. 

"Course...Only if you accept Cas" Gabriel told him tilting his head over to the youngest Novak. Michael looked over at him. Lucifer gave him a stern look, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Cas waited nervously for a reply. All he heard was silence and the silence scared him. He had nothing else to rely on besides his hearing. His muscles tensed. Lucifer felt his brother become stiff against him as his facial expression changed slightly. He looked at his expression before pushing his brother closer to him. 

"I mean...Cas, you're my brother. I will love you no matter what. If you're happy with Dean then I am too" Michael assured him. At that Cas visibly relaxed and released a breath he didn't know he had even been holding. 

"Balthazar, Raphael?" Lucifer asked pointedly. He would rip them apart if they didn't accept Cas for something has simple as a sexual orientation. He could not stand people like that. He was in protective big brother mode where anything bad said about this could easily trigger his anger. 

"I don't know. Dad always said being gay was bad. That's what it says in the bible too. This is difficult" Raphael admitted. He bowed his head as Michael looked over to him in a state of shock. How could he be so insensitive? After they had helped him all these weeks after his mother died. What would he have done without them? Lived on the streets?

"You fucking dare say anything like that about our brother again and I promise I will dig your grave myself" Balthazar spoke up. At that Raphael just stood up and silently left the room. "Of course I still love you Cassie. This doesn't change who you are. I accept you" He assured his brother. 

"Hey, Dean asked if he could could come round for a while. I told him Cas was out and he wants to come and see him. Is everyone okay with that?" Gabriel questioned even though he was sure they would all be eager to see Dean as Cas' boyfriend for the first time. 

"Yes" They all said collectively, including Cas. Gabriel laughed at that and texted Dean back giving him the all clear to come round to the house. 

_______________________________

Dean grabbed the keys to the impala off the side and headed for the door. Just then he heard the sound of Bobby asking where he was going but he just wanted to get there as quickly as possible. "Friends house" Dean muttered before quickly closing and locking the front door to his house. He practically ran to the Car before starting the engine and speeding all the way to the Novak household. 

Once he arrived he knocked the front door with anticipation sparkling in his eyes. He hoped it had all gone as well as Cas would have wanted it to. His brothers were extremely supportive of him so he was almost certain that they would have taken the news well. Gabriel opened the door and as soon as he did Dean could see the pride only a big brother can have swelling in his eyes. He was smiling from ear to ear, so proud of his brother. Gabriel stepped aside to let Dean in. He first saw Balthazar lying on the floor looking up at him with a friendly smile. Michael was sitting on a couch on his own. He looked to the side to see Lucifer sitting next to Cas. Dean could have sworn he felt tears sting his eyes. "Hey beautiful" Dean croaked with a beaming smile gracing his features. He stood in front of Cas to put his hands on his shoulders to let him know where he was. At that Cas almost jumped up to hug Dean. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck while Dean clung to Cas' waist. "I'm so so proud of you, you're so brave sweet heart, I told you it would be okay" He smiled into Cas' neck. Cas buried himself into Dean's shoulder as relief mixed with realisation hit him. He didn't have to pretend anymore. He could show his affections for Dean in front of his brothers. They pulled back from their embrace but still held each other, just not as a hug, rather arms length apart. 

"Raphael didn't accept it" Cas mumbled to Dean causing all of the Novak's to bow their heads, almost in shame. 

"He'll come around, don't worry" Lucifer chimed in looking up at the couple. "Dean, thank you so much for making my little brother happy. I know this is super cliché but if you hurt him or treat him bad then you won't know what's hit you. Do you understand me? It's not even that I don't like or trust you. I do, it just has to be said. Just as long as you don't hurt him we can all get along" Lucifer warned, in his own weird way. He didn't want to sound like he was threatening Dean, even though that was essentially what he was doing. He got along with Dean well but he was still in protective big brother mode. 

"It's okay. I understand I have a little brother too so I get this whole protectiveness thing. Don't worry I promise I won't do anything to intentially hurt him. If I do then I give you permission to beat the crap out of me" He assured. He did understand. If Sam was with a guy then Dean would kill them if they hurt him. All older siblings believed that their younger brother or sister should be treated with respect and if not, that person should watch out. Dean knew the drill. 

"Now that Lucifer's done making threats can we have a normal conversation?" Michael asked sighing at his twin. At that Lucifer hit Michael lightly on the arm as if to scold him. 

"More like a Q&A with Dean and Cas" Balthazar snorted. Michael turned to him with piercing eyes as if warning him to stop. "What? That's what it would be. If you don't think that then you're lying to yourself" He added causing Dean and Cas to both laugh at exactly the same time. 

"Go ahead, interview us" Cas shrugged walking backwards until his knees hit the back of the couch and sat down, dragging Dean with him. He had forgot Lucifer was also on the couch and got crushed by Dean. "Sorry Luci" Cas giggled. Lucifer just smiled and ruffled his brothers hair before practically pushing Dean off him, in the kindest and least harmful way possible, before moving to sit on the floor next to Balthazar. Dean sat down and as soon as he did Cas grabbed Dean's hand to entwine their fingers. 

"Have you had sex?" Balthazar asked bluntly which caused Lucifer to gasp and slap him across the face. He held his face as a sting spread across his cheek. Cas and Dean just sniggered at the question. "Dude, you struck me!" Balthazar winged. 

"Yes, I did. Congratulations captain obvious. You don't have to say every thought that pops into your stupid head" Lucifer scolded. Gabriel was covering his mouth to stop himself from bursting out laughing. He didn't know what he found funnier, Balthazar's question or the fact he got bitch slapped. 

"None of your business but no" Cas smirked, turning slightly red from embarrassment. "Any normal questions?" Cas asked with doubt in his voice. Dean was pursing his lips trying to hold back his laugh. Gabriel and Dean locked eyes both trying to hold back a laugh. 

"When did you guys get together?" Michael asked, being sensible since if he didn't no one would. Cas felt relief when he heard the question praising God it was not another sexual question. 

"When Lucifer was in the hospital" Dean answered, his face red from holding back his laughter. "We had been getting along really well and to be honest I had a huge crush on him. He was upset about some stuff. I didn't know how to help so I just sort of kissed him, I already knew he was pan so I just thought, why not? And then, yeah. We got together" Dean explained, reminiscing on the time and feeling like it was so long ago even though it was only three months ago. 

"So you've kissed then? Tongues?" Balthazar teased before, again, Lucifer slapped him across the face. This time Dean and Gabriel couldn't hold back their laughter and broke out into a giggling fit. Balthazar looked to them both in disdain, they were laughing at his pain. 

"Stop being such a snarky little shit" Lucifer warned him with stern eyes and a strict voice to accompany them. "Dean, I have a question. Are you pan like Cas or are you something else?" Lucifer asked turning his attention towards the couple and ignoring the daggers Balthazar was giving him. 

"I'm bisexual" Dean smiled, he wasn't bothered about admitting to them or anyone what his sexuality was. Cas was brave enough to tell his family and so Dean deemed himself brave enough to tell people if they did ask. He wasn't going to lie about it anymore. Before if someone asked him he probably would have said straight or change the subject but now he had realised it didn't matter what they thought. All that mattered was that those closest to both him and Cas accepted them. So far they all had besides Raphael which was a success in Dean's mind. 

At that moment Raphael appeared through her doorway and looked startled when he saw that Dean was there. They all turned to face him with mostly daggers. Cas was confused about why it was so silent. The footsteps, in his mind, were just someone walking across the room and the door opening was just whoever was walking around, opening the door. "Why has everyone gone so quiet?" Cas asked absentmindedly. 

"Oh it's just Raphael. Raphie, meet Dean. Cas' boyfriend" Gabriel announced in a stern tone. Raphael just looked at him with an unsure facial expression. "He helped us come and get you, you should be worshipping the ground he walks on" He reminded his brother who's facial expression didn't change. 

"Did he really? Well he didn't do a very good job did he? None of you did. My mom died, you were too slow. You're all too late and the fact that you tried doesn't mean jack shit to me anymore. I'm fed up of people trying and then failing me. Fuck you, all of you" He barked before slamming the door shut and stomping upstairs. A silence once again filled the room. 

"Oh hell no, he's not talking to us like that" Lucifer blurted as he stood up. He had nearly reached the door when Gabriel appeared in front of him. He put his hands up as if trying to get him to back away. 

"Luci, don't. He's hurting and he's just dealing with it by being an asshole. Just...Leave him to cool down" He urged, pleading through direct eye contact with his brother. Lucifer sighed and looked down before looking back to Gabriel again and nodding. He strode back to his position on the floor next to Balthazar. He was deep breathing in order to compose himself. 

"I'll go, you guys have a lot going on as it is and schools tomorrow anyway. My uncle will be wondering here I am" Dean told them with a friendly smile. Cas already knew about Bobby. Dean had told him all about his uncle just over a week ago. He was the protective type to Cas' understanding so maybe Dean was right. He did need to head back. Dean stood up still holding Cas' hand so that Cas could stand with him. 

"See you later Dean" The four eldest brothers said in a chorus. Dean led Cas to the front door and opened it before turning back to his boyfriend. Dean immediately wrapped his arms around Cas and closed his eyes before kissing him. The kiss was so natural and the first one since Cas came out. For some reason that made Cas feel even more comfortable around Dean. It felt more natural to kiss him whereas before they had to be wary of who saw them but now it didn't matter. Dean broke the kiss to nuzzle into Cas' neck "I love you" He mumbled causing Cas to almost jump out of his skin. 

"W-What?" Cas asked, his voice trembling. Did his ears deceive him? Dean just laughed and stood upright so his voice would not be distorted by Cas' shoulder. 

"I. Love. You" Dean repeated, slowly this time, grabbing onto the sides of Cas' face as if to get him to listen more closely. Cas smiled, Dean thought it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. It was genuine. He felt as if true happiness radiated off his boyfriend for the first time. 

"Dean. I-I..Uh...I'm so awkward" he giggled, feeling embarrassed but Dean just thought he was adorable. "I love you too" He breathed. As he did so Dean lay a firm kiss on Cas' forehead. 

"I'll see you tomorrow babe" Dean whispered against him before walking up the path and straight to his car. When he looked back Cas had closed the door and was probably getting teased by Balthazar if he heard any of that. He laughed lightly at the thought before driving back home. 

_______________________________

As Dean drove off Zachariah put his camera away and back into his bag. He had got shots of Cas kissing another boy. He was absolutely repulsed and he was sure everyone else would be. He always knew Cas was a sinner. God took away his sight to try and teach him a lesson yet he still continues to sin. He would get what was coming to him sooner or later. He drove off with a grin on his face, not one of happiness but rather one of accomplishment. He was going to find a way to put this image of Cas and the mystery boy everywhere.


	12. Family Comes First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I finally updated! I'm sorry for the delay college is a bitch. If there are any mistakes just let me know and I will fix them since I didn't really proof read it. Enjoy

Chapter Twelve:

Alastair walked through the hallways of the school at an early hour. It should be at least half an hour until the school buses got there. He stuck the pictures in different areas of the school, just like his father had instructed him to. He worked quickly and quietly. His Father must have printed out at least 150 copies of the image since the pile seemed never ending. Once he finally did reach the last picture he stuck it on what he knew to be Dean Winchester's locker. Once he did he smiled in relief. Only 5 more minutes until the first buses would arrive and everyone would see. He walked back down the long corridor looking at all of the pictures, no one could miss this, unless you were blind. 

Around 15 minutes later the bus containing the Novak's and the Winchester's pulled up outside school. Lucifer had his arm linked with Cas' who seemed content since last night beside the fact that Raphael had yet to even speak to anyone since yesterday. Gabriel, Michael and Balthazar weren't far behind while Raphael was near the back, nowhere near his brothers. Lucifer just thought he was purposely trying to annoy and upset everyone but it wasn't working. He just looked like a spoiled child which, compared to them, he was. 

They walked up the path to the school with Dean and Sam talking to Gabriel and Balthazar while Michael just watched his twin and youngest brother. He was in the process of coming to terms with Cas liking guys but he didn't want to hurt Cas so didn't say anything about it. He still loved him it was just a little...different. He was sure it wouldn't take too long, he liked Dean and loved his brother so how hard could it be? As they walked up the path they began to receive odd looks from other students. When they approached the entrance Dean received a text from Benny. 

'Dean, you need to do something. There's pictures of you and Cas kissing all over the school. Everyone's talking about it. I'm trying to take them down but they are everywhere. I'll see you soon, just make sure to stand up for yourself. Do NOT let them walk all over you or Cas' 

Dean read the text and froze. "Guys, wait!" He warned just as Lucifer walked through the front entrance of the school. As soon as he walked in he saw them and his eyes widened, everybody turned to look at Cas. Dean was outside and showed the others the text who all quickly ran in to shield their brother. 

"You're dating Cas? When were you going to tell me?" Sam asked as if he had been betrayed. Dean just rolled his eyes. Now was not the time. 

"Tonight actually, you and Bobby but looks like someone beat me to it" He sighed before walking into the school. As soon as he did he saw that all of Castiel's brothers besides Raphael were ripping the pictures off the wall. Dean stood beside Cas who was clearly aware of the situation. He looked visibly upset. His head was downcast and he was biting his lip. "Hey, Cas. We will find who did this and rip them apart. They won't get away with this" Dean assured him to which Cas nodded and reached out for Dean's hand. Dean was shocked at this gesture. "Are you sure you want to?" Dean asked him hesitantly. 

"They all know anyway, might as well make the most out of it" Cas told him with a small smile. At that Dean beamed and took hold of his boyfriends hand. As soon as he did Cas seemed to relax. Sam ran past them to help the effort in taking some of the pictures down. Some other students were also helping in taking them down which Dean was grateful for. 

"Fags!" Dean heard someone shout at them but he didn't let it affect him. He just ignored it. 

"Hey! Whoever the fuck said that or says anything like it again I swear to fucking god I will beat the living shit out of you. Got that? You're all such shallow minded pricks. You know there's more sexualities than just being straight right? How about you stick to your own fucking lives and leave them alone to theirs" Lucifer shouted down the corridor filled with people before walking over to Cas and grabbing his face in his hands. "Listen to me. You cannot let them get to you, okay? They are assholes with nothing better to do than talk about other people. Both of you just need to ignore them. Most people don't even care it's just the idiots that do which isn't even most of the school. Most people are on your side" Lucifer explained to them both. It was true. Most people at the school didn't care, this was the 21st century, being anything other than straight was widely accepted except by the few idiots who were stuck in the dark ages. Many of the other students were even helping to take the pictures down, some they hadn't even spoken to before. 

As Lucifer removed the pictures he looked around at the other students who were helping. He was so grateful to them. As he looked on he spotted Alastair. No one had seen him since the day that Raphael's Mother died and now he just happens to show up when this picture appears? Lucifer wouldn't let him get away with it. He charged over to his cousin and once he reached him Alastair's back was turned. He forcefully grabbed his shoulder to turn him around to face him before shoving him against the wall by his shirt. A crowd began to gather including the Novak's. "You stupid dick, I would think you would be smart enough to not come in after doing this but no, you show your face again. Why the fuck do you have pictures of my brother kissing his boyfriend? Are you stalking him or something!?" Lucifer asked demandingly. He was done with having his family walked over by Zachariah. He wouldn't allow it anymore. 

"I didn't take the picture, I just do as I'm told. I'm actually respectful to my Father unlike you ever were. All you and your stupid brothers did was make life hell for him. You know he would come round to our house all the time because he said he loved me more as a son than any of you? When he would tell you guys he was out going to get drunk really he was with us, telling us how much he hated his kids and whore wife. If only your pathetic sister hadn't gone and defied him. He'd still be alive" Alastair spat. Lucifer was shaking from anger at this point. All of the other students jaws were open in shock. 

"I'm going to rip you and your Dad apart, do you understand me? How dare you speak about my beautiful sister and gorgeous Mother like that. Where's your Mommy, huh? Did Mommy not want a complete fucking psychopath as a son? Who could blame her? I would get out too" Lucifer taunted, hoping that would strike a nerve. He had no idea why Alastair's mother wasn't around but just hoped it was tragic, for the sake of getting even. 

"My Mother has nothing to do with this! You want to know what I find funny? How you are avoiding the subject. Think about it. If you had followed your Dad's orders you probably wouldn't have so many fucking anger problems. Oh and Cas, maybe he would still have his sight. That's right. I know everything about all of you. Your Dad told us all of it. All of the details. I hated you guys before I even met you and now, I just wish you died instead of him" He snapped. Lucifer couldn't stop himself now. He punched his cousin in the face repeatedly hitting him to which Alastair retaliated by giving Lucifer a right hook. Everyone was cheering now. Chanting for the fight. Gabriel couldn't watch this. He decided to intervene. Gabriel pulled Lucifer out of the way so he could stand in front of Alastair. 

Alastair punched Gabriel causing him to hit Alastair where it hurt. He kicked him as hard as he could straight in the balls. He fell to the ground in a heap clutching his genitals. At that Gabriel and everybody else laughed at him. Lucifer swung an arm around his brother and ruffled his hair. "I taught you so well" He laughed looking down at Alastair on the ground. Lucifer had a cut on his lip which caused a small amount of blood to trickle down from his lip but that didn't bother him. He just loved the sight of Alastair squirming on the floor. Just then the bell rang, signalling first period was about to begin. Everyone walked away from Alastair giggling and some even took pictures of him on the floor. As the corridors cleared he stood up and walked to the bathroom, taking his mobile phone out. He dialled his Fathers number. No way would they get away with publicly humiliating him. 

_______________________________

As Gabriel walked down the corridor the amount of high fives he got was ridiculous, that made it clear that a lot of people really didn't like the way Alastair had acted by putting those pictures up. Did he really think that would work? Gabriel walked into his lesson when Benny approached him. "Hey, how's your brother doing? Is he alright with this whole...situation?" He asked, Gabriel already knew Benny and Dean were best friends so it was no surprise to him that Benny would be concerned. 

"He handled it like a champ actually. It surprised me how well he took it. He was holding Dean's hand because he said everybody already knew so it didn't matter. Dean looked pleased with that" Gabriel winked causing Benny to laugh lightly. Dean would love that. "Have you ever like, spoke to Cassie before?" Gabriel asked him, the thing jumping to his mind. 

"No, I would love to get properly introduced to him though. I knew Dean had a boyfriend but I had no idea who it was. He told me he was with a guy but he said he wasn't ready for everyone to know yet. He was gushing so badly over him. I've been eager to meet the mystery guy for like, a month now" Benny admitted and Gabriel smiled at that. Dean was gushing over his little brother and didn't even tell him who it was. That made him respect Dean even more. He heard the door open and looked over to see that the teacher had walked in, she looked annoyed, as always. 

"Gabriel, go to the principals office" She yawned. Gabriel looked slightly taken back. She only just walked in and he was already in trouble. For what? 

"But-" 

"No buts, go" She sighed, Gabriel rolled his eyes. He said bye to Benny before he left the classroom. There was no way he was going there. He just roamed around the halls for a little while until he saw that Michael and Lucifer had just walked out of a room. They had puzzled expressions on their faces. Michael looked up to see Gabriel and immediately presumed he was skipping class. 

"Gabriel, why aren't you in class?" Michael asked, acting like a Mom, again. Lucifer loitered behind him looking slightly annoyed. 

"Apparently I have to go to the principals office. What did I do? She just walked in and told me to get out like, okay bitch. So I'm not going because I didn't do anything wrong" Gabriel sulked like a child. He was ready to be lectured about how he has to go but instead he looked up at his brother to see he didn't look angry or annoyed at him. 

"Us too, what room are Cas and Balthazar in?" He asked, more to himself than as an actual question. He looked around the corridor as if expecting him to see them in one of the rooms. When nothing happened he remembered why they were out of class in the first place. "Come on you two, let's just go together. It's obviously a family thing" Michael told them as he walked ahead while Gabriel and Lucifer didn't move an inch. Michael gritted his teeth and turned back around when he realised they weren't following him. "Now" he ordered to which Gabriel looked back at Lucifer and they both sighed in sync before following Michael who led the way. 

As they got closer they began to hear shouting, at first it was mumbled but as they approached the room it was clear. That was Balthazar's voice. There was no question about it. "Shit" Lucifer mumbled before pushing ahead, the other two brothers trying to keep up. Lucifer burst through the door to the principals office to see Balthazar standing up leaning on the desk, he was red in the face when he turned around while Cas was sitting down. He didn't turn around, it's not like he could see them anyway. "Cas it's just us, don't worry" Lucifer reassured him, just in case he was worried. Lucifer watched his shoulders visibly relax. 

"What's going on?" Gabriel asked as he and the twins walked further into the office, shutting the door behind them. 

"He's trying to have a go at us because of the pictures. Like we would out our own fucking brother! Why is Cas here do you think he would want everyone to know considering he hadn't even told anyone yet! You're so fucking stupid" Balthazar yelled kicking a chair over and into a wall. 

"Carry on with that language and I'll have you expelled" Principal Owens warned. Michael rushed over to Balthazar and attempted to calm him down but it wasn't working. Balthazar could not get kicked out, not on Michael's watch. "I will ask again, why did you put up pictures of yourself and another student kissing throughout the school!?" He demanded, directing his question towards Cas. 

"I didn't" He mumbled quietly, fidgeting his hands. Just the sight of Cas being accused of this angered Balthazar even further. 

"Leave him alone you fucking prick. He didn't do it, check the CCTV, did you even think of that before you started accusing someone who is BLIND of walking around the school and putting up pictures in the corridor. How does that even make sense in your mind!?" Balthazar continued, ranting on. 

"Well that's where you four helped, you put them up for him" He accused again. "I don't want to see that filth in my school" He said. He crossed the line that time. There was no way in hell any of them would let that slide. Balthazar leaned across the table to go and hit the principal but Michael held him back just enough for him to miss. 

"Check the fucking CCTV, we weren't even at school when the pictures were put up! How the fuck is it filth you homophobic shit face! What the hell is wrong with you?" Balthazar questioned as Michael still held him back with all the strength he could muster. 

"You sick son of a bitch, it's one thing accusing people of doing something they didn't do but saying that them kissing is filth!? What's filth is the fact that someone took the God damn picture without them even knowing. You know what that is? Illegal, unlike two teenagers who clearly like each other kissing. How about you find out who took the picture and then come back to us, okay?" Lucifer concluded before he walked over to Cas, who was extremely quiet, and gently touched his arm which caused him to jump. "It's just me, we're leaving and going back to class where we should be anyway, he wasted our time" He told him. Cas nodded and allowed lucifer to hold his arm. He stood up with Lucifer guiding him. "Check that CCTV" Lucifer reminded principal Owens before he led Cas out of the room. 

Michael let go of Balthazar cautiously, trusting him not to attack the principal. He still looked extremely angry. "Balthazar, come on let's go" Michael told him as he slowly began to back away towards the door. Balthazar didn't move a muscle, he was in the middle of a stare down with Owens. "Now, Balthazar" he warned. Balthazar turned around and walked out of the room closely followed by Gabriel and Michael. Gabriel slammed the door when he left leaving the principal in a state of shock in his office. 

"Do you want me to get Dean?" Gabriel asked as he saw Cas was visibly upset once he walked out. Cas just shrugged as Lucifer was trying to comfort him. Gabriel settled on texting Dean, if he wanted to come then he could. 

"Cas it's okay. Don't let him tell you that your relationship is wrong because it's not. You-"

"That's not why I'm upset" Cas interrupted Lucifer leaving all of his brothers confused. "I'm upset because I've got you all into trouble" He choked to which Lucifer hugged him. "I'm sorry" Castiel sniffed as he clung to his brother. 

"You haven't done anything wrong, Cas. He's the one who's done something wrong by making you feel like this" Gabriel sighed, hating seeing his brother in this state. 

"I'm going to fucking kill him" Balthazar threatened as he began to make his way towards the office. Michael ran after him but it was no use. Balthazar opened the door to see that Owens was watching the CCTV tape. On that tape you could clearly see Alastair walking around the school with the pictures and sticking them to the walls. "You better call Alastair in here. You've got the right family but the wrong culprits" Balthazar concluded with a smug smile gracing his features. "You should probably apologise to the extremely upset fifteen year old outside. The one who happens to have done nothing wrong" he added, raising his eyebrows. Reluctantly the Pricipal actually did, he stood and walked towards Cas. 

"Castiel, I know now you didn't do it and I apologise for my earlier comments. Just, all of you go back to lesson" He muttered before he walked back. He actually just took orders from a sixteen year old. 

"Is that it!?" Balthazar barked following behind him. Owens was becoming increasingly more impatient with Balthazar by the minute. 

"Go back to lesson or so help me I will kick you out of this school. Don't push your luck, boy" Owens warned in a grave tone before walking back into his office. 

Just as his door slammed shut Dean appeared as he ran round the corner. "What happened?" He asked looking over them all to ensure they were all okay. Balthazar cradled his head in his hands and slid to the floor, trying to calm himself down. His eyes were squeezed shut and he began to bang the back of his head against the wall. After doing it five times in a row Michael put his hand behind Balthazar's head to stop him from losing anymore brain cells. 

"Dean" Cas squeaked quietly as he leaned away from Lucifer slightly. Cas held one of his arms out which Dean took hold of before Cas hugged him. Dean hugged back looking over at Lucifer who looked pretty upset. Almost as if he was going to cry. 

"I can't" He muttered turning towards the wall as he just became overwhelmed. He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes to try and force himself not to cry. At this Cas held Dean tighter as tears began to fill his eyes, this was all his fault. Balthazar was still sitting on the floor but not trying to bang his head anymore. Michael stood up and sighed while looking over at Lucifer. He was the one who was usually strong enough for everyone to fall back on but this simple situation, for some reason, had just caused all of the feelings he had been bottling up for months now to spill over. 

"Luci, it's okay" Gabriel tried as he slowly walked towards him. Lucifer turned around, looking as if he hadn't just nearly let tears flow. He smiled down at Gabriel as if there was nothing wrong. 

"I-I know...everything's fine now. He knows it wasn't us. He can't get us in trouble. We're fine" He claimed through a broken smile and tired eyes. They saw right through it. Even Cas could tell he was lying and let go of Dean to listen to the scene unfold, although he did continue to hold Dean's hand. He needed some contact. 

"Don't lie, what's wrong?" Gabriel asked bluntly. Lucifer looked to the floor and sighed blinking his eyes hard to try and prevent the water works. He had to be strong for them.

"Nothing" he looked up and lied again with a fake smile painted on his face. They all knew he was lying but Lucifer was stubborn. He could play this game all day. "Let's just, go back to lesson. We've missed first lesson now anyway" He acknowledged as he looked at the time. He began to walk down the corridor to go the second lesson while they all shared concerned looks. Michael shrugged and began to follow Lucifer who had just turned a corner and was out of sight. Balthazar, Dean, Cas and Gabriel all had to walk the same way for lesson which was the opposite way of the twins. They began to walk away, Dean and Cas were still holding hands while Gabriel stood beside Cas and Balthazar beside Dean. Michael looked back at them and smiled before rushing after Lucifer. He hurried around the corner only to see Lucifer sitting against the wall with his knees up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. 

"Nothing's wrong huh?" Michael asked sarcastically to which Lucifer looked up at him with tears eyes. Michael plopped down next to Lucifer putting an arm around his twins shoulder. Lucifer leaned into the touch, his head practically leaning on Michael's shoulder. "Talk to me" Michael told him looking down at Lucifer who seemed so small like this. He couldn't bare it. 

"I need to protect them and I can't. I would do anything for any of you but I still can't even protect them from some homophobic, arrogant principal. How the hell am I supposed to protect you guys from Zach? If one of you got hurt I could never forgive myself. Every time Dad used to beat any of you up I felt so guilty, like it should have been me. When Cas went blind, I still feel like it was my fault. He didn't do anything wrong. I remember the look on Moms face when she saw what a state he was in when Dad was finished with him. I was the one who smashed the window. Even then I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen. It should have been me. Anna and Mom should still be here. I-I want Mom, I need her, and Anna" He choked as a few tears fell from his eyes. He leaned closer to Michael bringing back memories from when they were younger. They used to share a room which had a bunk bed. Whenever they would hear their Dad shouting or beating their Mother Lucifer would climb down to the bottom bunk to sleep in the bed with Michael. They would hug as if to try and drown out the sound and hide under the duvet. 

"It's okay, none of us deserved anything, including you. The only one who deserved pain was Dad. There was nothing you or me or anyone could have done to stop anything that has happened to us. You want to protect them, right? Well so do I and I want to protect you as well. You don't need to feel like you have to do everything on your own. Hell, you wasn't even born on your own. I will always be here and we can protect them as well as each other together, Okay?" Michael reassured to which Lucifer nodded and wiped away his tears. 

"Don't tell them about this" Lucifer demanded before standing up. 

"I won't" Michael assured him before Lucifer offered a hand to Michael. Michael took his brothers hand who helped him stand up. They began to walk down the hall together to next lesson as if nothing happened. 

_______________________________

At lunch Benny was eager to meet Cas. He and Gabriel walked down the hall before meeting up with the twins. "Guys, this is Benny. He's Dean's best friend so, naturally, he wants to meet our Cas properly. Don't worry, he's nice. He's in like all of my classes" Gabriel explained when he walked up to them. They both smiled welcomingly to Gabriel's relief. He was afraid Lucifer was going to punch him in the face or something. 

"Hey Benny. I've seen you with Dean before, are you guys close?" Michael asked trying to make small talk. 

"Yeah, me and Dean have been best friends since elementary school. I've known about him being bi for like, 3 years now and lately he told me he had a boyfriend. Since then I've been wanting to meet him, the way Dan talked about him, sounds like he's got a keeper" Benny told them which caused all three brothers to smile. 

"Benny!" Dean shouted from down the hall. Benny looked up to see Dean running towards him while Balthazar, who was now calm, walked with Cas. Dean ran into Benny clumsily before he hugged him. "You here to meet him?" Dean asked nodding over to Cas who was now approaching the group. 

"Course I am, I've been dying to meet him for weeks" Benny told him excitedly. Dean moved out the way and stood beside his best friend so that they could talk. 

"Cas, remember Benny? The one I told you about, he's here right now" Dean informed him. Cas' face lit up at that. 

"I remember. Hey Benny, it's nice to actually meet you rather than having to listen to Dean go on and on and on about you" Cas teased to which Dean gasped as if he was offended but of course, he was only joking. 

"Same for you. He didn't tell me your name before but he told me some pretty loved up stuff about how he feels about you. Hey, thinking of that are you two going to prom?" He asked, at that the group fell silent. "Don't tell me he hasn't asked yet" Benny grumbled, looking over at Dean and raising his eyebrows. "Dude." 

"I haven't thought about it. Would we even be allowed as like...a same sex couple?" Dean asked awkwardly. He had thought about prom but he really didn't know if they would be able to go. 

"Charlie's going with her girlfriend Jo. You know Charlie Bradbury, right? She's going so why not you guys?" Benny informed them, at that Dean perked up and smiled. 

"Yeah, okay. Babe do you want to go?" Dean asked looking over at his adorable boyfriend. Cas was beaming from ear to ear. 

"Only with you" Cas responded. Dean laughed lightly before he walked the short distance between them and hugged Cas. He picked him up slightly off the ground causing Cas to laugh. "If you drop me I will bite your ear off" Cas warned before he began to nibble at Dean's ear lobe. Dean began to giggle despite some people looking at them, he didn't care. Most of them were laughing anyway, they didn't look like they found it bad or anything. 

"Oh it's just so cute that it makes me sick" Gabriel joked, laughing with the rest of the brothers as well as Benny. Dean let Cas down as they giggled. Suddenly someone in the corridor began to clap which was closely followed by clap after clap after clap. It seemed like the whole corridor was watching them. 

"YES, MY BROTHER IS SO GETTING IT ON" Gabriel shouted throughout the corridor causing cheers and laughs. Alastair's plan to embarrass them had backfired, hard. Not only did the pictures get taken down but the vast majority of the school couldn't care less about it. They, in fact, supported them for being open about it. After he did put the pictures up no one had seen Alastair all day. He probably ran home to Zach, Gabriel thought. He didn't want to think about that though. As the clapping and cheering continued he jumped on Lucifer's back who only just managed to steady himself so not to fall to the floor. Lucifer held him up on his back laughing as Gabriel was literally acting like he was centre stage. He was trying to get the students even more excited. 

"Gabriel is on Luci's back" Dean mumbled with a small laugh as he looked up at his boyfriends older brother who was currently fist pumping. "He loves attention that one" He added, continuing to laugh as Cas nodded. He wished he could see his brothers antics as much as he probably would be embarrassed by them he did wish he could just turn around and look over to him. The last time he had even seen anything was when he had just turned 11 and it wasn't a pleasant final sight. He always wondered how much his brothers had changed over the years. Michael and Lucifer were only 13 the last time he had seen them while Gabriel was just 12. Balthazar was 11. He also wondered what he, himself, looked like now, whether he was still the same or how much he had changed. He had never even seen Raphael. By the time he was introduced to Raphael he had already been blind for a year. 

"Cas?" Dean's voice broke through his trail of thought. Cas blinked hard and looked in Dean's general direction. "it's nearly time for next lesson, have you got everything?" He asked, not really noticing or questioning why Cas was in a trance. 

"Yeah, think so" Cas told him over the crowd who were still being riled up by Gabriel. After five minutes, sure enough, lunch was over. Gabriel hopped down off Lucifer's back. Lucifer began to stretch out his now aching back to which Gabriel looked offended over. 

"I'm not that fat!" Gabriel blurted out with wide eyes and a shocked stance. Of course he was joking, he always was. Benny was waiting for Gabriel to come to lesson but was bent over, clutching his stomach. He was in hysterics over Gabriel's antics. 

"You are when you're squirming around on my back for ten minutes" Lucifer claimed as he rubbed his back. Gabriel just stuck his tongue out at his brother before strutting away with Benny. Lucifer rolled his eyes and smiled, Gabriel was a pain in the ass but he had to admit, he was hilarious. 

_______________________________

Alastair opened the door to his house quietly, trying not to disturb his father. He closed the door as softly as humanly possible before locking it again. He stepped over all of the empty beer cans and wine bottles to make his way to the stairs. As his foot touched the first step he heard the grave sound of his fathers voice. "Where do you think you're going young man?" Alastair silently cursed at the fact he couldn't even sneak into the house properly. He walked towards the living room where the sound of his fathers voice had came from. He stood in front of him with his hands behind his back and his head bowed. He awaited his punishment. "You stupid son of a bitch. Cas was meant to get bullied but you can't do anything right can you? And look at you? Did you get punched, again? You are such a sissy, you need to man up!" Zachariah bellowed at him, clearly drunk but meaning every word he said. 

"I'm sorry Dad, I know I'm a screw up. I will make it up to you" Alastair promised, not making eye contact with his Father. He was afraid of those eyes. The eyes which held such disappointment and discontent. 

"I'm done with all of your failures. You will learn your lesson" Zachariah spoke before, without warning, he pulled his pistol out from behind the couch and shot Alastair in the leg. Alastair yelped in pain and fell to the floor, tears were brimming in his eyes as his father walked towards him. Alastair looked up to see his father standing over him. He felt so small as a collapsed heap on the floor. He deserved it though, he deserved it each time. "Next time, I will shoot you in the nuts. Do you hear me!? Sort it out Alastair. I'm through with your pathetic attempts at proving yourself to me. Actually do it, swine" he muttered before he walked off, leaving Alastair on the floor in the middle of the living room. "Crutches are in the cupboard, shitface" Zach shouted as he walked upstairs, drinking tequila. Alastair sighed and held his wound to try and stop the bleeding. This had happened many times before. You would think he would be used to the pain of a bullet wound by now, but he wasn't. He was weak, just like his father said. He needed to man up and make his father proud.


	13. Prom (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DEPICTIONS OF SELF HARM AND ABUSE/VIOLENCE. 
> 
> So I'm real sick and have more time in my hands which is what this came out of, a lot of free time and the flu. I will try and finish part two soon since this is left on a pretty big cliff hanger.

Chapter Thirteen: 

_He repeatedly banged against the locked door trying to break the door down but it was no use. He was only 13 he wasn't strong enough to break the lock. "Dad! Please stop, it was me! He didn't do anything! Stop, Dad!" He screamed but to no avail. His father could barely hear him through Castiel's screams as well as his deluded, drunken mindset._

_"Daddy please stop! Dad i-" Castiel sent out another blood curdling scream. He couldn't stand this. Tears rapidly spilled over from his eyes. There was nothing he could do to help. "Luci, what's happening?" Balthazar asked, he was so small and vulnerable at only eleven years old. He looked over at his brother with tears running down his own cheeks. His brothers eyes were blood shot and filled with fear. Another scream echoed throughout the house._

_"Cas! God damn it. Balthazar, listen. Cassie's okay. Go and get Mikey for me? You and Gabriel stay downstairs with Mom and Anna, okay?" He asked. Little Balthazar just bit his lip and hurried down the stairs._

_He continue to try and break the door down banging on it, shouting, he was trying everything. "Please, stop!" Cas whimpered, barely even able to create sound anymore. Michael hurried up the stairs and began to help his twin try and break down the door. They barged against it for what seemed like hours until suddenly Castiel's screaming stopped. The silence was deathly. The sound of the door lock sliding startled the twins who promptly backed away. Their father opened the door, covered in blood causing Michael to gasp and place his hand over his mouth. His tears began to flow now._

_"DID I RAISE YOU TO BE GIRLS!? STOP CRYING YOU FUCKING SISSYS" Their Father screamed in their faces which only made them cry more. He punched Lucifer square in the face before he grabbed hold of Michael's neck and began to choke him._

_He heard the sound of footsteps as he lay on the floor before hearing a glass bottle breaking. He saw the blurred image of his father knocked out on the floor beside him before he suddenly heard his Mother scream. Anna dropped the bottle she used to hit her father with to help Lucifer up. "Are you alright Luci?" She asked. She was only sixteen herself but had to take care of her little brothers. He just nodded in response before standing up and rushing into the room. His Mother was kneeling down beside Castiel's motionless body. There was blood everywhere. "Gabriel, don't!" Anna tried to hold him back but it was no use, Gabriel burst into the room._

_"Cassie?" He squeaked. At that the twelve year old broke into tears. Lucifer rushed over to comfort him pushing his head into his stomach so he wouldn't have to look at his brother in that state. He clung to his brother like his life depended on it._

_"Phone a ambulance! Anna hurry!" Their mother cried to which Anna ran downstairs to phone them. Lucifer looked over one last time. He saw large amounts of blood dripping down Castiel's face, specifically near his eyes with a sharp piece of glass next to his head which was also covered in blood. It was glass from the window that Lucifer broke by accident. Why did Cas get the blame? It should have been him. Cas did nothing. He had failed his youngest brother._

_______________________________________________________

Lucifer woke up sweating and panting. He couldn't steady his breathing. He checked the time and it was 6:57am. He hated reliving past events in his nightmares. They scared him more than anything. He dragged himself out of bed to go to the bathroom. He threw cold water on his face, trying to cleanse himself of the dream somehow, like it would make a difference. He opened the cupboard above the sink and saw so many things he could harm himself with. He had been clean for three months now but he still thought about it. He forced himself to close the doors and reluctantly walked away. He got into bed and covered his ears as if he could hear voices telling him what to do and he could. The voices in his head told him to do it, told him he wasn't good enough but he tried to block it out, he really did try. 

Just five minutes after he got back into bed he walked back to the bathroom and again, opened the cupboard. He examined everything in there. Looking over them, considering which one he would want to use, although he would prefer a lighter. Michael ensured to throw away any lighters in the house after discovering his twin was using them to self harm. He picked up a spare razor blade and held it tightly in between his fingers as if to examine the effect. He heard the door to the bathroom creak open and so he hid the blade behind his back and turned to whoever had just walked in. "Fuck off" Lucifer muttered under his breath when he saw that it was Raphael. 

"I'm not deaf, Luci. I'm not blind either. Why do you have a blade?" He asked blankly. He didn't even seem to care, he probably just wanted gossip. Lucifer wasn't going to give it to him. 

"I was changing the blades, the ones in there now are old and shit" He lied as he began to replace the blades in the razor. Raphael still looked suspicious but would anyone believe him, really?

"Don't bullshit me I changed them a few days ago, you're such a li-" 

"Yeah, well Michael shaved his pubes yesterday and it was like a jungle down there. The blades are all clogged up with his pubes. Don't want that, do we?" Lucifer interrupted, being snarky as always. He smirked at his own remark while Raphael just looked disgusted. "Why are you even awake? Just go back to sleep" he sighed just wishing his brother would leave him alone. 

"Could ask the same as you but I'm not a nosey fucker, now if you're quite done changing the razor blades I want to have a piss" Raphael announced. Lucifer just sent him a death stare before putting the razor back along with the blades and leaving the bathroom. He felt like slamming the door but he didn't want to wake his other brothers up. He walked into his room and unfolded his hand. He had kept a blade with him. He pulled down his pyjama bottoms and made a small incision on his upper thigh. A tiny trickle of blood came out of the cut. He liked the sensation and so he made more and more and more until his thighs were covered in small cuts. He felt satisfied afterwards. He felt as if he could go back to sleep in peace and that's what he did, after cleaning himself up of course. He had to stop the bleeding. As soon as he did he pulled the covers over himself and went to sleep. He didn't have any nightmares, he slept in peace. 

_______________________________________________________

He was awoken by Gabriel who was...wearing a dress? He rubbed his eyes and that confirmed his suspicions. His brother was indeed wearing a dress. Not to mention he had a shit ton of make up on. "It's prom day Luci, get ready" Gabriel insisted before he gleefully skipped out of the room. Lucifer groaned and once gain forced himself out of bed. His legs stung like a bitch. He checked the time and it was 3:30pm, he slept like a baby. He walked to the shower, pretending he was not in pain. He decided it would probably be best to clean the wounds, just in case they got infected. He stripped and stepped into the shower looking down at all of the cuts he had made and that's when he realised. He had made a huge mistake. 

Meanwhile Gabriel was downstairs swirling in his dress that he bought for himself with the help of Balthazar. They had decided to forget about girls and go to prom together but Gabriel wanted to be different. Balthazar looked handsome in a suit while Gabriel wore a huge pink dress. Michael was laughing the whole time. When he had put the dress on he had gotten Cas to feel it so he could get an image of what it was like. That just caused him to laugh as well. Cas and Michael were in a more socially acceptable attire. Michael wore a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt, he wore black shoes and a navy tie. Cas was pretty much in an all black suit which Gabriel had chosen. Apparently it made him look 'sexy'. 

Gabriel suddenly broke into song singing dancing queen. Balthazar began to dance with Gabriel as they both giggled, they had a plan to win prom king and queen and like this no one could beat them. As they sang and danced to dancing queen the other two clapped and laughed along. Even though his brothers were crazy, Cas had to admit without them life would be so boring. 

Fifteen minutes later Lucifer appeared round the corner with a expression that was just full of sorrow. Gabriel noticed immediately and grabbed a hold of his face. "Lucifer you look so sexy in that suit but you need to lighten up big bro. Just think you might get laid" he winked to reveal a bright purple eyeshadow coating his eyelid. Lucifer breathed a small laugh at that but he couldn't help being such a downer. He was so disappointed in himself. 

"That reminds me" Michael perked up suddenly digging around in his pocket before pulling out condoms. "I bought you condoms Cas. I don't want you getting any STI's from Dean" he told him with complete seriousness. Castiel just held his head in his hands as his face turned red while Gabriel and Balthazar were in hysterics. Just then the door knocked and Gabriel ran to open it, eager for everyone to see him. It was Dean, of course. As soon as he opened the door Dean just looked at him in shock for a minute before he burst out laughing. 

"I love your look Gabe" he giggled and Gabriel just did a curtesy causing Dean to laugh even more. Gabriel moved so Dean could get past him. He walked into the living room and his eyes immediately fell on Cas. "Wow, Cas...Uh...you look beautiful" Dean admired, completely taken back by how good he looked in a suit and tie. 

"I'm sure you look good too Dean, you...Uh...sound good?" Cas tried but that just caused everyone in the room to laugh a little at his attempt. 

"Trust me Cas. Dean is looking super hot" Gabriel informed him before going back to his 'date' and dramatically falling into him. Balthazar caught him, playing along. "Oh my hero, you are my knight in shining arm-"

"Why are there condoms on the table?" Dean asked when he spotted them in front of Cas. Gabriel and Balthazar stopped their dramatic play and began to laugh at the situation. Cas just turned red. 

"Michael bought them for you and Cas in case you plan on impregnating him" Lucifer shrugged, trying to play off that nothing was wrong. By being witty, no one would suspect a thing. He was the best at playing things off like they were nothing. 

"I'll keep a hold of these" Dean told them putting the condoms in his pocket. Gabriel and Balthazar just stared wide eyed with their mouths open. They were nearly squealing. 

"Cas is so getting laid" Balthazar enthused before Gabriel ran over to him and jumped on him. He lay down across Cas and Michael who were both just trying to hold it together. He also had heels on which were dangerously close to Michael's face and so he pushed him off them and straight onto the floor. Everyone laughed at him but he still continued to play up to his 'role' of a diva. It wasn't even too much acting from Gabriel's end. He was a diva and they all knew it. He stood up, brushed himself off and flicked his slightly long hair. His face dropped as he saw Raphael come through the door. He was in a suit, looked like he wanted to go to prom as well. They all looked at him, giving him daggers. Cas wasn't really sure why the atmosphere had changed.

"What? Take a picture or something" Raphael rolled his eyes before walking to an empty seat and sitting down. He looked over at Lucifer who was giving him a stern look. Lucifer could not deal with he disappointment he would bring to his brothers if they learned he relapsed. They couldn't know. Raphael gave him a sly smile. He had dirt on him and he would use that against him if it was needed. "Gabriel, why are you dressed like that?" Raphael asked to break the silence. It's not like this was something he wouldn't expect Gabriel to do by he couldn't stare Lucifer down forever. 

"Because I'm fabulous, why won't you even look at Cas or his boyfriend? Why are you such an ungrateful little prick? We all have questions Raphie" Gabriel sneered. Raphael's lips twitched upwards at that. Of course they were still mad at him but he didn't care anymore. Where were any of them when his Mother was killed? They were too late. He blamed them entirely for her death. If they had been there quicker then she would still be alive. He was extremely bitter towards his brothers for that. 

"Fuck you Gabriel. You're such an asshole" he replied, they didn't want Raphael to ruin their night. They wouldn't let him. Lucifer went to march towards Raphael but Michael stopped him, pushing him back. Today was not the day he wanted a fight to break out. 

"Hey, it's nearly six. Shall we go?" Dean asked. Prom started at six but it would take about ten minutes to get to school anyway. 

"Yeah, let's go" Balthazar answered, wanting to get away from Raphael before he punched him in the face. He couldn't stand the sight of his brother lately. He was so different to how he used to be when they were younger. Dean had already told them that they could ride in the impala but he didn't know what to do about Raphael. He contemplated asking him but then thought that someone would probably get hurt in that situation. He helped Cas up off the couch before they linked arms and pecked each other on the lips. Raphael was repulsed by the sight. 

"Raphael, how are you getting there?" Dean asked awkwardly as all of the brothers, besides Cas who was listening in, turned to look at Raphael. 

"Not with you lot that's for sure. I'll just walk" he told him with an eyebrow raised. As if Dean would actually think that he could possibly go with them to prom. He wouldn't want to be seen dead around them. Any of them. Dean just gave him a small smile, not wanting to be rude before they all began to file out of the room leaving Raphael alone. Just how he liked it. He would wait for the impala to leave before walking up to the school. 

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They arrived at prom at 6:08pm, Dean saw Charlie and Jo outside. The other same sex couple at prom and smiled at the sight. He and Charlie were friends but they weren't close, same for him and Jo but this made his fondness of them grow. Gabriel got out of the car first eager to show off his look. Balthazar was next accompanying his brother before they linked arms, sniggering and laughing as people began to notice. Lucifer and Michael could finally breathe after the tight squeeze in the back seats during the journey to school. The car was only built to hold three people in the back not four and to make matters worse Gabriel's dress had taken up two seats. Dean got out before rushing round to the other side of the car and opening the door for Cas who immediately stepped out of the car and grabbed onto Dean. By the time he was out so we're the twins and so Dean could lock the car. He looked up to see Gabriel and Balthazar walking into the hall surrounded by people who were applauding their efforts. "Vote me for prom Queen and Balthazar for King!" Gabriel shouted as he walked into the prom hall causing everyone in attendance to scream, cheer and laugh. Gabriel was definitely the life and soul of the prom. 

As Dean and Cas held hands and began to walk to the prom they were stopped. "Hey, Winchester" a female voice called from behind them. Dean turned to see Charlie and Jo smiling at them. "Wait up" she added before she and Jo ran over to the pair to walk in with them. They were also holding hands. 

"Who's that?" Cas asked, confused about why Dean was getting female attention. A twang of jealously struck him at his core even though he tried to push it away. 

"Hey, you're Castiel right? I'm Charlie and I'm here at the prom with my girlfriend, Jo. It's so great to not be the only gay couple at prom for once" she sighed with relief. For her it was refreshing to not be the only couple at the whole prom who were the same sex. To make it even better there was a boy in drag with another boy at prom, granted it was his own brother. Castiel felt his jealousy die when he heard it was Charlie and Jo, he had heard about them but had never spoken to them. All he knew is that they were a same sex couple and were seniors like Michael and Lucifer. 

"Oh, hey. I would have been even more nervous if there wasn't another couple at prom, at least we're in this together" Cas laughed through his nerves. He was a little worried of how people may perceive him but that wasn't the most important thing. The most important thing was that he was here with Dean and he was pretty sure he was in love with him. 

"Don't worry. We came here together last year and no one really cared. Some people might take a second look but that's it. Don't panic" Jo assured him. Dean squeezed Cas' arm for reassurance, just to try and let him know he was there for him. "Let's go in, I'm pretty sure your brother is stealing the show" Jo laughed. She had seen Gabriel when he walked in, she couldn't have missed him. At that Cas laughed lightly before Charlie and Jo led the way into the hall while hand in hand. Dean kissed the side of his boyfriends head, closing his eyes and relishing in the feeling before they too, walked into the hall. As soon as Dean walked in the lights hit his eyes which were moving all around the room. On the dance floor many students were dancing and clapping along with the music thumping through the speakers and sending vibrations throughout the whole room. After being in the room less than a minute he saw Gabriel and Balthazar on the dance floor dancing together with a crowd surrounding them. Gabriel was shouting but Dean couldn't hear what he was saying. He was pretty sure it was something stupid. He didn't know where Michael and Lucifer where but they were probably shaking their heads at their brothers antics somewhere in the room. 

"Gabriel and Balthazar look like they're having fun" Dean shouted so that Cas could hear him over the booming music. Cas just laughed at that, wishing he could see what they were doing. He was sure it would have been hilarious. It was times like these he wished he could see. He wished he could see his brothers, wished he could see everyone in the room and wished he could see how gorgeous his boyfriend looked. "Love you" Dean smiled when he realised Cas' trail of thought was consuming him. Cas looked over in his direction, breaking out of his day dream and smiling at him. 

"Hate you" Cas teased before he walked forward to try and drag Dean further into the hall. He hoped he wouldn't bump into anyone while forcing him to walk forward. Dean snorted before he did catch up with Cas so that he wouldn't actually bump into someone. As Dean looked around he saw that not many people really were even looking at them. No one seemed to care too much about two guys holding hands. Charlie and Jo were right. 

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"Get up now, you piece of shit. Get to that God damn prom!" Zachariah screamed at Alastair who was cowering away on the floor after being punched in the face. Alastair struggled to get up as his healing bullet wound hurt his entire leg. It had been two weeks since his father had shot him. Alastair, himself, had to remove the bullet as well as stitch the wound up himself. He had used crutches for the past week and a half but had stopped using them for the past two days. He was limping slightly but the wound wasn't too bad anymore. When he managed to stand up he stumbled towards the door as his father downed another bottle of beer before throwing the bottle at the wall. Alastair left the house and sighed. He didn't want to go to the prom. He couldn't, he walked up his path before going the opposite direction of where the prom was being held. He tried to run but it hurt too much. 

He walked as fast as he could, he turned several corners not knowing where he was but anywhere was better than around his father. He leaned against a brick wall before his breathing became erratic. His hands began to shake as he pressed them against his cheeks. He tried to steady his breathing as he slid down the wall and sunk to the cold, concrete ground. He had to let his emotions out somehow. Around his father he just had to act as if he was cold hearted, just like him but he wasn't. He had to always pretend he didn't care about what his father did but every time he did something it made him feel sick to his stomach. After he killed Raphael's mother he had to fake that he was happy but really after he was told he went to his room and had nightmares. He didn't cry though. He couldn't cry, ever. He could remember the last time he cried. He was just so numb. He couldn't feel anything. Sometimes he felt as if he was heartless, just like his father. What sort of freak couldn't even feel anything? He tried to force the tears, he really did but he just couldn't cry. It was as if his fathers influence had been drilled so far into his brain that he couldn't feel emotion. 

He had to act as if hurting his own cousins didn't bother him. As if they meant nothing to him but it did. He felt a lot of remorse but his father told him that he would always be watching. He was a police officer, he could get into any CCTV , including the schools. Since Lucifer had been in trouble with the police only four months ago their schools CCTV could be accessed without it looking suspicious to other cops. He would watch the CCTV to ensure that Alastair was doing what he told him to. He would also give Alastair a wire to wear under his clothing so that Zachariah could hear what he was saying to make sure he was doing what he asked. If he didn't his father would beat him. He blamed Alastair for everything despite him being burdened with all of his fathers secrets, including murders his father had committed. 

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"See you later guys" Dean waved as Benny and Lisa walked off to meet with her friends. Gabriel and Balthazar were still the centre of attention in the middle of the dance floor. Michael and Lucifer were speaking to some girls at a table causing Dean to smirk. Looked like he and Cas weren't the only ones on a date. Cas suddenly hugged Dean and began to kiss his neck, that was Dean's sweet spot. He leaned into the touch and closed his eyes before one of his hands tangled in Cas' hair. He pulled back, much to Dean's annoyance. 

"Why did you take the condoms from Michael?" Cas asked with a sparkle in his eyes. Was he suggesting what Dean thought he was suggesting? He was close to Dean and seemed a little more intense than usual. 

"You know, just in case" Dean said, his voice husky and deep. He had a small smile on his face. "Babe we don't have lube, I wouldn't want to hurt you" Dean whispered into his ear so that no one else could hear their sex talk. At that Cas sighed with disappointment causing Dean to laugh lightly at that. His boyfriend was adorable. "Tell you what, we can go back to yours, no one is there and then come back before they realise. If they do just say you forgot to get money and wanted a drink. We have to be quick though" Dean told him, Cas nodded with a huge grin on his face. Dean walked towards the back entrance of the hall so that no one would notice they were gone before they snuck out of the prom. 

"Vote me prom queen!" Gabriel screamed as he and Balthazar danced causing the crowd to cheer and clap for them. Someone placed a crown on his head and looked back to see that it was Charlie. 

"Queen Gabriel!" She shouted and again everybody cheered and laughed along with the whole thing. Meanwhile Lucifer and Michael were sat at a table, ignoring their brothers speaking to two girls who were in their classes, Meg an Bela. They were just friends with them, although they were sure that if Gabriel and Balthazar saw them they would think they were getting it on. Meg and Bela kept looking over at Gabriel and Balthazar laughing at them while the twins just tried to continue their facade of being annoyed despite them thinking they were absolutely hilarious. Lucifer was still trying to keep himself together after relapsing. He didn't think that he would feel so guilty. He was pretty sure Raphael knew what he had done and he couldn't stand it but, then again, he would prefer Raphael to know than any of his other brothers. He wouldn't be able to cope with the disappointment on their faces if they found out. 

"It's time to vote for your king and queen! Please use the ballot boxes at the front of the room to vote" a teacher spoke through the mic on the stage before leaving. That broke Lucifer out of his miserable trail of thought. Students began to cue at the ballot boxes. Meg and Bela left the twins to vote for the king and queen, they were adamant on who they were voting for. Gabriel and Balthazar loitered up to their brothers, sweating from dancing so much. 

"Why aren't you guys voting for us? Don't you support our life decisions?" Gabriel asked with mock disgust in his voice. The twins just looked at each other. They seemed to communicate just through their eyes before reluctantly standing up and walking over to the ballot box. Gabriel and Balthazar high fived at that, that was another two extra votes for them. They couldn't see Dean or Cas and so presumed they were in the cue. "We are so going to win" Gabriel acknowledged excitedly. 

"If we don't then the votes would have been tampered with, let's be real" he rolled his eyes with a raised brow. "Check out who's here" he scowled, nudging Gabriel. He looked over to see Raphael walking around the hall. He didn't think he would actually show. Gabriel just sighed, at least he wasn't Alastair or Zachariah. 

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"Dean!" Cas cried as he reached his climax. Dean was so close. Cas' legs wrapped harder around Dean's waist as he began to fuck Cas harder. They were both moaning and sweating against each others naked bodies. Dean shifted the angle at which he was grinding against Cas which caused his boyfriend to make a strangled scream. He hit that same spot over and over again. Cas scratched hard down Dean's back. Dean's head fell onto Cas' shoulder as they both cummed almost at the same time. Cas was a few seconds before Dean. 

Dean fell on top of Cas, breathing heavily before pulling out. He rolled off Cas. He checked his phone before sitting up quickly "crap" he muttered. He scurried out of bed, pulling the condom off and tying it before throwing it in the bin. He got dressed as Cas was still lying on the bed. "Cas, we've been here for 45 minutes, that's not even including us driving here!" Dean panicked before Cas jumped up out of bed. Dean picked up Cas' clothes and gave them to him as he buttoned up his shirt. He hurried to get dressed. When he was he looked to Cas who was struggling to get dressed. He couldn't tell which clothes were which and he was kind of sore after the sex. Dean tilted his head and smiled lightly before helping his boyfriend get his clothes back on. 

"That was so worth it, even if it was longer than expected" Cas laughed as Dean finished off dressing him before smoothing down the ruffled clothes. 

"It was, but we need to get back before your brothers start panicking" Dean fretted. He knew they would become concerned if they couldn't find Cas anywhere in the hall. Once he put his and Cas' shoes on they headed out to the Impala to drive back to the prom before anyone noticed. 

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Zachariah threw yet another bottle at the wall. He knew his son would be at the prom like he commanded him to but he wouldn't be doing my harm to his nephews, which is exactly what Zach wanted. He remembered the promise he gave to Michael, he told him that he would know what it feels like when one of his little brothers dies. He hadn't forgotten that. In that moment anger overtook him and he grabbed his gun before drunkenly stumbling out to his car. He was going to kill a Novak. Not Michael, nor Lucifer but a younger Novak. As he got into the car he struggled to even see where the ignition was. An impala car sped past him making him feel even more dizzy. As it drove off into the distance he found the ignition and turned the keys. He started the car and began to make his journey towards the prom. He lay his gun on the passenger seat with extra bullets next to the gun. This time no one would get in his way of killing a Novak.


	14. Prom (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY FOR THE PAIN IN ADVANCE

Chapter Fourteen:

Dean pulled up in the car park before he ran around to the other side of the car to help Cas out of the car. Once he was out Dean locked the car, grabbed Cas' hand and rushed into the hall where the prom was being held. When they were in a teacher was on stage and nobody seemed to notice them come in. "The prom king and queen are Balthazar Novak and...Uh...Gabriel Novak...What?" He stuttered as Gabriel and Balthazar scurried up to the stage. Gabriel shoved the teacher away to speak into the mic. The teacher looked extremely agitated at that.

"Thank you everyone. We are so grateful but where's my crown?" Gabriel asked over all the claps and cheers. Just then a teacher came into the stage confused before handing the crown over to Gabriel as well as another to Balthazar. Dean and Cas were in hysterics as they walked further into the room so not to look suspicious. Gabriel and Balthazar waved to the crowd before walking down the steps of the stage as people chanted for them. All of the teachers were extremely confused while the students were just loving the whole situation as well as the looks on the teachers faces. Dean scanned the room until his eyes fell on Michael and Lucifer who were no longer sitting at a table speaking to the two girls. They were now standing with the rest of the crowd and clapping for their brothers. 

"Want to go stand with Mike and Luci?" Dean asked, looking over to Cas who was smiling and giggling. Cas said that he would and so Dean led him towards the twins. "Hey guys" Dean smiled when he reached them and they turned to them, laughing as well. 

"Hey! We were wondering when we would see you guys. Pretty sure Gabriel wanted to ask you guys to vote for him and Balthazar" Michael laughed as Gabriel and Balthazar walked to the middle of the dance floor. They began to dance together laughing and giggling as the crowd clapped to the beat of the song. 

"We were around, he probably just couldn't find us" Cas shrugged, not seeming as if he was lying or hiding anything. There was a lot of students at prom, it would be hard to find them. As they stood laughing, talking and watching their brothers on the centre stage there came loud screams from the back of the room. People turned around to see a group of fearful teens. The music stopped as they continued to panic. 

"He's got a gun!" One girl shouted as she ran to the back of the room. Suddenly all of the teens in the room began to panic. Lucifer instinctively grabbed onto his brothers wrists. Gabriel and Balthazar appeared beside them, they were happy they were all together but concerned about what the girl had said. A group of teachers went out of the room and into the corridor as the students all backed towards the other side of the room all trying to scurry out of the fire exit but it was blocked by something. They kicked the door but it was no use. 

"This better be a fucking joke" Lucifer muttered as he and the others also backed towards the back of the room. Suddenly a gun shot rang throughout the school and everyone began to scream. The teachers all ran back into the room, clearly panicked before he appeared at the door. It was Zachariah holding a gun. 

"Listen up" Zachariah slurred as the room went silent besides the sounds of the teens hyperventilating. "Novak's, walk forward or I swear to god I will shoot everyone in this god damn room. Do you really want that on your conscience? I will kill them all and have no remorse" he threatened. Lucifer walked forward despite the others trying to force him to come back but he wouldn't. "Cute move Luci, I mean all of you. Now! Before I start shooting everyone and I will start with Castiel's lover boy" He continued with a small smirk. 

"Dean call the cops" Gabriel whispered to him before he and the others stepped forward. Dean reluctantly let go of Cas' hand as his boyfriend shook him off. Zach laughed when he saw the others step forward, as well as Raphael as he tried to decide which of them to kill. He scanned over their blurry faces as the alcohol distorted his vision. Dean slowly backed up towards the back of the crowd of teenagers so he could call the cops. Once he reached the wall he squatted to the ground and dialled them so that he would not easily be seen or heard. 

"What do you want Zach?" Michael asked, not wanting to push him too much. They knew what he was capable of, he had killed just a few months ago and Michael did not want to get on his bad side right now. Although, he thought, it might be too late for that. 

"Michael, oh naive Michael. Don't you remember? When Lucifer here was in hospital I swore to you that one day you would know what it would be like when you lost one of your little brothers. I'm here to make that a reality. Tonight is the night you will feel the pain I felt when your mother and sister killed my brother. I would have done anything to protect him, anything in the world but look where he is now and it's all thanks to them" he sneered angrily, pacing back and forth. As he did so he stumbled every once in a while, it was clear he was drunk. 

"You will not lay a god damn finger on any of them, you sick fuck" Lucifer warned as he and Michael forced their younger brothers behind them. Raphael was taken back by the fact that the twins hadn't just pushed him forward to be the one. He hadn't exactly been a good brother lately. He felt a hand grip at the clothing on his wrist and looked to see that Balthazar had grabbed onto him. He felt a surge of love and protectiveness sweep his body. Maybe he had been too harsh on his brothers? 

"I don't intend to lay a finger on them, I intend to put a bullet through their heart" Zach corrected him. He had a sick and twisted smile on his face. Just that expression alone made Lucifer feel sick to his stomach. 

"Well we're in the way, you want one of them right? Not us? We're in front of them. You can't even reach them without killing us" Michael remarked smugly. He seemed too confident speaking to someone who was in possession of a gun. Lucifer felt uneasy with the way Michael had just said that. Castiel bit his lip as nerves wracked through his body. He knew Dean was calling the police, they just needed to stall until the police arrived. As long as they could do that, they would be fine. 

Dean was still on the phone to the police but just wasn't speaking, they told him to stay on the line and that the police were on the way. They had told him they would only be around two minutes. They just needed to hang in there for another few minutes. Dean didn't believe in God or Angels or anything like that but for the first time in his life, he prayed. He silently prayed that they would all be okay and make it out of this without any injuries. It seemed that he hoped for too much when the sound of shot being fired echoed throughout the hall. All of the teens and teachers in attendance screamed. "Michael!" Dean heard Lucifer shout. He stood on his tip toes to see that Michael had been shot in the foot, or leg. He was unsure. Lucifer was still standing tall though, as if he wanted to prove a point. 

"You can either move or I will shoot you too" Zach warned the other twin. Of course, Lucifer wasn't about to move. He looked down at Michael, who was in pain but he was okay, for the moment. 

"Do it" Lucifer prompted him. Zachariah did not hesitate to shoot Lucifer in the middle of his foot but he was not taken by surprise like Michael was. He hissed but he stayed standing to everyone's amazement. His foot was hurting like a bitch but he was still standing. Zachariah looked shocked at the teens resilience as did the rest of the school. Even Michael was on the floor dumbfounded by how his brother was able to stay standing. "You'll have to do better than at" He smiled with a small wiggle of the eyebrows. Zachariah looked well and truly pissed. He shot Lucifer again but this time in thigh on the opposite side. Lucifer tried to stay standing but he fell to his knees. He stayed like that for a few seconds before he dropped to the ground. "Guys, hide in the crowd, do anything" Lucifer tried as he tugged on one of his brothers pants leg. He wasn't sure who's it was but he wanted them to get away but they wouldn't. None of them wanted to put the other students lives at risk. 

"So this is it, huh Zach? This is your big plan? Where's that snot nosed little kid of yours? He sure as hell ain't here. He's probably sick of your shit too. Go on then, do it. Kill me if you're going to kill one of us but don't hurt them" Gabriel stepped forward. Raphael felt as if he should intervene. As if he should be responsible. He was older than Gabriel after all. He felt like it should be his job to protect him. 

"Gabriel, no!" Michael warned as he tried to get up from the floor but it was no use. The pain wasn't bothering him at the minute. The fact that Gabriel was ready to offer himself up as bait was. 

"No way can I take you seriously in a dress Gabriel. Are you gay too? Must run in the genes your whore mother gave to you" Zach taunted. Balthazar leaped forward at that with an angry growl. He ran straight into Zach and tried to punch him in the face, only, Zach caught his hand and squeezed it. Balthazar could feel the pain as he wouldn't let go. Raphael put an arm around Castiel to comfort him. He was unsure of what was happening but he knew it wasn't good. This whole situation was confusing to him. 

Balthazar spat at Zachariah, straight in his face which caused him to let go of the teens wrist who just stumbled back to his group of brothers. Gabriel quickly looked down at Balthazar's hand and saw that it had already began to swell up. The purple and blue colouration was already visible. "Don't do that again" Gabriel warned, pushing Balthazar behind him who wouldn't stand for it. He saw Raphael comforting Cas and actually trusted he was doing the right thing for once, given the situation. He stood beside Gabriel who looked ready to strangle his brother for being so stubborn. 

"FREEZE!" A man with a gruff voice shouted as a swat team came into the room. All of them were armed and they surrounded Zachariah. Zach put his hands up in the air, rolling his eyes. Almost like this was an inconvenience more than anything. Cas and Raphael stepped toward to stand beside Gabriel and Balthazar. They were safe. They just had to worry about Michael and Lucifer now. "DROP YOUR WEAPON!" the man shouted. Zachariah looked at the boys. He was about to put down the gun when suddenly he lifted the gun up and fired a shot. At that the swat team began shooting. They shot Zachariah at least 15 times. He fell to the ground, clearly dead. 

Once he was the room became silent, too silent. "CAS!" Gabriel shouted as he realised what had happened. When Zach had shot for the last time he had hit Cas. 

Suddenly all eyes were on the youngest Novak who was barely conscious. The paramedics rushed in once they got the all clear. Gabriel, Balthazar and Raphael all fell to their knees around Cas. His eyes kept fluttering closed. "No! You listen to me, okay? Cassie, don't close your eyes" Gabriel cried as he applied pressure to the wound, it was in his chest and seemed dangerously close to his heart or it could have even been in his heart. Dean pushed forward through the crowd and joined them on the floor. "Cas don't you dare go to sleep, you have to stay awake. Just listen to my voice, okay little brother? You have to keep your eyes open" Gabriel tried through his sobs. Cas seemed to be able to hear him as he fought to keep his eyes open.

"No! Get off me!" Lucifer shouted as he struggled to get away from the paramedic and stand up to see his brother. Michael was just gawking with tears rolling down his face. Not Cas, not his brother. 

Cas coughed up an unhealthy amount of blood, paramedics shoved them all out of the way, Gabriel stayed on the floor behind the paramedics while the others stood to watch the scene unfold. His breath was shaky and he couldn't move, he felt paralysed. "Cassie, please" he whispered as tears slipped down his face. 

"He's not breathing, get the oxygen!" One paramedic shouted and that's when the panic set in even more. As one of them ran to get the oxygen the others carefully placed Cas on a stretcher. The other soon returned with the oxygen mask and quickly placed it on Cas' face pumping the oxygen bag to give him the air he needed. Balthazar was physically shaking, he fell to his knees, unable to hold his weight up anymore. Dean just looked on not knowing what to do. He was sobbing audibly, he couldn't believe this. Not his Cas. 

"Boys we will take you to the hospital, but not with him. You'll have to go in the ambulance with the other two, only two people per ambulance" a paramedic told them, referring to only with Michael and Lucifer. Raphael nodded, unable to speak but able to respond. Gabriel was unable to even move while Balthazar was a mess. Dean was too consumed by his crying to be able to respond. 

"Dean, we can go with Michael. Those two need Lucifer. Trust me, he is their rock and they need him right now. I'm sorry for everything I just want to push it all aside, okay? For Cas?" Raphael asked as Cas was quickly rushed out of the room as they continued to pump the oxygen bag. Lucifer tried to shout after them and get up but the paramedics were holding him down. 

"For Cas" Dean agreed. "I'll go help Gabriel up and tell him. Help him" Dean said, tears still streaming down his face, nodding to Balthazar. Raphael bent down to Balthazar while Dean stumbled over to Gabriel. "Hey, Gabriel. You okay to go in the ambulance with Luci and Balthazar?" He asked as he kneeled beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Gabriel looked him in the eye, all of his make up had run as the tears continued to fall. 

"Y-yeah. I...I...Okay...I'll get up" Gabriel stuttered through his sobs. Dean stood before offering Gabriel a hand. He gratefully took it before Balthazar came over, looking a little more together than Gabriel, but not by much. Balthazar had to drag Gabriel to follow him while Dean and Raphael just walked, their heads were downcast as they all left the room, leaving the students and teachers behind them to talk to the police. Many of the students were crying too, even those they had never spoken to. The scene they had just witnessed would have even the strongest of people in tears. 

They stuck to the arrangement, Dean and Raphael boarded the ambulance with Michael while Gabriel and Balthazar got in with Lucifer. As soon as they got in Dean burst into tears, holding his head in his hands. Michael was crying but trying to hold them back and he could have sworn he saw a few tears roll down Raphael's cheeks. "Did he look okay? Was he awake?" Michael asked through his tears, his face blotchy. 

"He was awake sort of, his eyes kept closing but he was fighting to stay awake. Gabriel kept telling him to" Dean bit his lip, trying to hold himself together. "He kept telling him to stay awake" Dean finished letting more tears fall. Raphael put a comforting hand on his back. His gesture was actually sincere. Dean couldn't believe just an hour ago he and Cas were fooling around and now he was in the back of an ambulance fighting for his life. He couldn't believe this would happen to him. He didn't deserve any of this. There was a silence, as if they were all saying an unspoken prayer for Cas all at the same time. 

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Balthazar had to pull Gabriel up the steps to the ambulance as he was too weak to even do that himself. He was crying a lot. Gabriel was extremely sensitive to anything involving his family and witnessing that was too much for him, it broke him. He went to sit down on the seat but couldn't even make that. He fell straight to the ground, sobbing. "Gabriel, come on. Please" Balthazar pleaded as he tried to get him up, he was crying himself.

"I can't" he sobbed brushing away his tears with the back of his hand only to be replaced with new ones seconds later. He was a complete mess. Lucifer couldn't watch this anymore. He threw the covers off himself and carefully threw his legs over the bed. 

"Come sit here" Lucifer urged him, looking down at Gabriel. He looked up to him, his eyes extremely bloodshot and wet. He pushed himself up before Lucifer took hold of him and helped him sit on the bed. Once Gabriel did sit on the bed Lucifer could see he was still sobbing. "It's okay" Lucifer hushed before he hugged Gabriel. His brother hugged back as tight as he could. Lucifer could feel his tears soaking his neck. "Shh, it's alright. It's okay" Lucifer soothed him as he ran a hand through Gabriel's hair. He would always do this when they were younger. He had to constantly reassure Gabriel even when he, himself, was uncertain of the outcome. 

"I told him not to close his eyes" Gabriel sobbed, his voice muffled into Lucifer's shoulder. Lucifer just continued to shush him and stroke his hair. "H-He couldn't keep them open" he stuttered as more tears fell from his eyes. Lucifer, by this point, was gently rocking his brother. He was trying to get him to calm down, just a little bit. He didn't want Gabriel to have some sort of mental breakdown and need medical attention as well. He saw Balthazar at the corner of his eye who was holding his head in his hand, his other hand was purple in colour, he would need that x-rayed. Balthazar looked as if he was trying to contain all of his emotions but it wasn't working as tears slid off his cheeks and onto the floor.

"Balthazar" Lucifer called, his brother looked up. His cheeks were tear stained and he looked like a wreck. "Come here" he said removing one arm from around Gabriel and putting it out to Balthazar. He immediately got up and sat on the other side of Lucifer. 

"I'm scared" Balthazar whispered as Lucifer's arm wrapped around him as well now. Lucifer couldn't respond to that. He couldn't give reassurance because Balthazar had every right to be scared. He just nodded in understanding and held his brothers closer. "I wish it was me" he muttered. Lucifer scrunched his face up at that. He felt like he was hearing himself in those words. Maybe he had rubbed off on his brothers too much. 

"Don't you dare say that" Lucifer warned with passion in his voice. "I'm so happy that you are okay, both of you. Do you understand me? I would never want you two or any of the others to be in the position Cas is in right now. We would all be as fucking distraught as we are with Cas if it was you. What you should be saying is that you wish Zach would have just put the god damn weapon down or shot himself in the head. Not you, not Cas, none of us" Lucifer ranted, Balthazar just nodded at that. He couldn't argue with him. He was right.

The ambulance came to a halt and the doors to the back of the ambulance opened. "You shouldn't be sitting up" the paramedic told him. Lucifer let go of his brothers but they stayed still. 

"What am I supposed to do when my little brothers are crying their eyes out? Just lie there? I don't think so" he retorted back. The paramedic had no comeback to that. He just needed to get Lucifer to lie down again and into the hospital so they could check his wounds. 

"Boys, you're going to have to get off the bed for your brother to lie down. When we are inside you guys can have a place to sit and gather yourselves but right now he needs to get in the hospital" the paramedic told them, trying to sympathise with them even though he clearly had no comprehension of how they felt. The two stood up as Lucifer turned to lie down and put his legs under the thin blanket. He hissed at the pain but he could handle it. Once he was in he was wheeled out of the ambulance, closely followed by Balthazar and Gabriel. Dean and Raphael spotted them. Gabriel and Balthazar both seemed to be crying a little less than when they saw them at the school. 

"Told you Luci would help" Raphael uttered to Dean, even as a few tears slipped down both of their faces. Dean just nodded. He really did admire Lucifer, he had no idea how he did it but he always managed to remain so strong around his brothers. Sure Dean did that to some degree with Sam but he had not had to deal with a lot of the crap they had, nothing like this. 

They got into the hospital and the boys switched who they were with. Gabriel and Balthazar went into the room with Michael while Dean and Raphael went in with Lucifer. The doctor entered the room to stitch up Michael's wound. "Is my brother okay?" Michael asked frantically as soon as she had entered. 

"Which brother?" She asked. Coming off as rude. 

"Cas, the younger one" 

"He's in surgery right now. They have to remove the bullet as soon as possible, as it stands we don't exactly know where it hit but it is very near to his heart. They are doing everything they can for him, I promise. We will keep you all updated on how he is but for the minute he's hanging in there" she reassured him, sitting down on the bed so she could begin to treat him. 

Gabriel and Balthazar just sat in silence, they had no idea what to say or do. They just prayed that Cas would be alright. 

_______________________________________________________

Lucifer had been shot twice, not just in his foot but also in his thigh. The doctor had no choice but to cut his pants off so not to injure him further. Once he did he removed them to reveal his legs. They were covered in cuts as well as the single bullet wound. There were cuts all over his thighs. He looked down when everyone looked shocked. He had completely forgotten about what he had done. "Do not tell them, okay? Please? They can't handle this right now" he pleaded as the doctor looked down at his legs. 

"You're 18 so you're not a minor. I don't have any rights to tell them unless you wanted me to" the doctor reminded him and Lucifer sighed with relief. He looked up to Dean and Raphael. God, he was happy that Balthazar and Gabriel were with Michael and not him right now. 

"I won't say anything but when Cas is better and everyone's okay if you're still struggling with this you need to tell them" Dean encouraged as the doctor got to work in stitching Lucifer's wounds. The twin just nodded thoughtfully and looked down at the doctor doing the stitches. He was so disappointed in himself but at least the rest of them hadn't seen them. Right now he couldn't worry about himself. Just Cas. Only Cas.


	15. It's All My Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh I haven't updated in a week and I'm sorry, I went back to college and had a lot of work. Sorry if this is a lil crappy but I rushed it to get a chapter out to you guys

Chapter Fifteen:

Alastair arrived back home around 1 a.m. He knew that his dad would know he didn't attend prom. He was so nervous for the outcome of his fathers rage. He walked through the door and towards the living area where he supposed his father would be, drunk out of his mind but he wasn't. That was weird. He looked around the downstairs part of the house and saw he was nowhere to be seen. He walked up the creaky stairs and checked all of the rooms. His father seemed to have disappeared almost. He was probably out looking for him right now. Ready to beat him up. He sighed and walked back downstairs into the living room. He turned on the TV and the first thing that came up was the news. He didn't take any notice of it at first. He couldn't give two craps about the news. 

"...Zachariah Novak, a former police officer was the one with the firearms, he shot three boys in total. Two are said to be recovering well while the other boy remains in critical condition. Students at the school claim that the boys, were in fact, the mans nephews. Once police arrived and told him to drop his weapons he opened fire which caused the police to gun him down, killing him" the female reporter said, outside of the school. Alastair couldn't believe his ears. He didn't know what to do in that moment. His eyes were wide, staring at the screen. He was numb. This couldn't be real, could it? He didn't know whether he should be relieved or distraught. 

"The three boys have been identified. Michael and Lucifer Novak are twins who were shot while trying to protect their four younger brothers. They are recovering while the other boy is Castiel Novak, a fifteen year old blind boy who was shot just before Zachariah was gunned down. More details as they emerge" another reporter stated. Alastair sighed, his breath shaky. He turned off the TV, unable to listen to this anymore and went to bed. He lay in his bed, expecting sleep to just come to him but it wouldn't. His mind was blank yet he still couldn't sleep. Maybe that was the problem. 

_______________________________________________________

Balthazar was off getting his hand x-rayed to check for any breakages while Michael, who now had crutches, was in Lucifer's room with everybody else. They said he was allowed to leave the room for a few hours to go and see him, but not Cas. They hadn't given them any updates since telling them he was in surgery but that was almost three hours ago. Gabriel was sitting right next to Lucifer, resting his head on the uncomfortable hospital bed as he became weary. He felt so guilty. He was the only one of his brothers, besides Raphael, who didn't get hurt yet he was the one taking this situation the worst. He felt like such an asshole. The others were all in pain, they all needed medical attention, all except him. Just because he couldn't help his brothers. Because he was too helpless to jump in front of a bullet for them or get Zachariah off Balthazar. A few tears escaped his eyes. He was surprised he even had any left. He wiped them ion the bed sheets but this didn't go unnoticed by Lucifer. "It's okay" Lucifer muttered to him. Gabriel looked up at him and felt anger at those words. He knew he was only trying to help by it wasn't okay. Nothing was okay. This whole situation was not okay. 

"It's not though, is it?" Gabriel retorted, louder than they anticipated, causing all of them to perk up at the sudden loudness. Lucifer did not want to argue with Gabriel, not when he was in this state. 

"You're right. It's not but do you know what is okay? Feeling upset or angry because of this situation. That's okay so let it out" Lucifer shrugged, not really knowing what else to say to him. It was clear he wasn't in a very healthy mindset right now. 

"Do you have any idea how much of a fucking asshole I feel like?" He asked as a general question to anyone rather than just directed at Lucifer. 

"An asshole? Why?" Dean asked, genuinely confused. He was expecting Gabriel to cry or say something about wishing Cas was okay but he didn't really expect that comment. 

"I'm the only Novak not hurt here. Except Raphael but let's be honest here you've been a dick since you came back into our lives. I feel like I should have done something, you know. Jumped in front of the bullet for Cas or just anything to stop you guys from getting hurt but no. I didn't do that. I would rather be hurt even just a little bit then at least I know I would have done something, anything to piss Zachariah off enough that he felt the needed to hurt me. I'm just-" Gabriel choked as his throat became raw. They all looked at him intently, waiting for him to carry on. "I'm just a coward. Look at you, you're both hurt" he acknowledged referring to Michael and Lucifer. "You should be the ones so upset you can't even function but no, it's me, as always. Dad always used to beat me up the most for crying and he was right to, you know? He was right when he called be all those things because that's what I am. A coward, a sissy, a waste of space. He was right. The one thing I want most in this world is for you guys to be safe but here I am, the only one without injuries. Dad should have beat me up harder" he bawled, tears coming from his eyes even more. 

"Man up" Raphael rolled his eyes. Lucifer felt his blood boil at this point but he couldn't get up. He was bed bound. 

"Get the fuck out" Lucifer demanded, making direct eye contact with Raphael. "You are an absolute dick, you know that? After your mother died you were a god damn wreck and what did we do for you? Oh that's right we helped you get through it. Just fuck off" He barked, ready to punch him if he could. 

"Don't be too loud Luci, I might spill your secret" Raphael taunted with a small laugh before he left the room. Dean and Michael turned to Lucifer who completely ignored Raphael's comment. He turned straight to Gabriel. 

"C'mere" Lucifer sighed. Gabriel didn't move an inch he just continued to cry and delve into his self hatred. "Gabriel, listen. It's okay to cry but you can't blame yourself. Everything happened too quickly, what were you supposed to do, hm? Me and Michael forced you guys to stand behind us, you couldn't have helped us. Balthazar practically jumped on Zach which was a pretty stupid move but there's no way you could have stopped him and Cas. No one even realised he was hurt until after Zach was dead because it all happened too fast. You know what you did do, though? You stood up for them, you tried to protect the others when we were down, even Raphael. You even protected that dickhead. You were ready to sacrifice yourself so that none of them would get hurt and in my books that's not doing noting. That is not what a coward would do. That is exactly what an amazingly brave person would do" Lucifer countered, Dean was literally ready to clap for that whole speech. Lucifer was spot on. 

"You cannot say what you did was cowardly, we were telling you not to but you still carried on to try and protect them. Oh and another thing don't ever say up that you deserved to get beat up. Dad was one of the biggest dicks to ever walk this earth and he had no right to ever lay a finger on any of us. Just because you are more a little more sensitive than the rest of us doesn't mean anything. It doesn't make you weak. Cas is sensitive too but would you look at Cas and call him weak? Would you?" Michael asked, Gabriel shook his head. He would never call Castiel weak. He was one of the strongest people he had ever met. "Exactly, being sensitive doesn't make you weak and it's not something you need to change about yourself. What you do need to change is that make up on your face though it's all streaky" Michael teased causing Gabriel to laugh lightly through his tears.

To interrupt the moment Dean's phone rang. He apologised before leaving the room to answer it. "Thank god you're okay, this shooting business is all on the news. Where are you?" Bobby voice came through the phone and Dean sighed with relief. It was great to hear him at this tough time. 

"I'm at the hospital. Listen I need to tell you something, I kind of forgot be-"

"Yeah, yeah you have a boyfriend Sam told me. Listen, I do not give a damn who you date. I don't care if they're a boy, a girl, white, black, purple or pink. As long as you're happy" Bobby told him, hearing that made Dean feel so happy. "Sam tells me he's the one in critical condition, Castel?" Bobby asked. 

"CasTIEL, Bobby. But yeah, he is. I'm with his brothers. Just waiting for news" Dean informed him, rubbing his hand across his temple. He looked down the hall and saw Balthazar walking up the corridor with a nurse. He had a blue cast on so Dean presumed he had broken something. "Hey I gotta go but I'll call if I need you, promise" Dean grumbled before he and Bobby said their goodbyes. He waited for Balthazar and the nurse to to reach him. "You okay?" Dean asked Balthazar who just made a face as if to ask if that was a trick question. "Gabriel's kicked off a little, just to let you know" Dean whispered to him, immediately seeing his face drop. The nurse opened the door to the room and beckoned the boys to enter too. They did so and sat down. 

"Update on Castiel" she announced, causing them all to look up and alert. "He's out of surgery and it all went well. The bullet has been removed but it took so long because it was so close to his heart. If that bullet had hit maybe a centimetre more to the left it would have hit him in the heart and I doubt he would still be alive. For now he's in an induced coma which we'll keep him in only for a day or two, depending on how his wounds are healing and his general health. I'm not promising anything because there's still a way to go but for the minute he's as okay as he can be. You can go and see him just for short periods of time. Someone will come in and tell you when but by this rate it will probably be in the morning since he's being monitored at the minute" She told them with a bright smile. "Oh and boys, if any of you leave the hospital there are paparazzi outside who can't wait to get the scoop on this story. If you do leave tell someone at the front desk who you are and we can get body guards to escort you out. When you're coming back you can call the front desk to tell us to help you get back into the hospital safely" she notified them before she left, still smiling at them. 

They all looked relatively happy at the fact Cas was out of surgery. He wasn't out of the woods yet but he was getting a little better at least. "What time is it?" Michael asked suddenly, breaking the silence. Dean pulled out his phone to check the time. 

"Its nearly 3am" Dean informed them. He was super tired. 

"How about we all try and get some sleep then see Cas in the morning, yeah? We need to sleep guys. It's been a fucked up day" Michael suggested and that didn't seem like a bad idea. They were all exhausted. 

"I'll call my uncle to come get me, I'll come back up here early though" Dean said before he did just that. He called Bobby who wasn't at all annoyed that Dean had called him while he was sleeping. He woke Sam up and forced him to come with them. Even though the man that shot them was dead he didn't want to leave Sam alone right now. They hurried to his car and sped to the hospital. When Dean got the text that they were outside he waved his goodbyes to the Novak's before informing the receptionist who he was due to the paparazzi still being outside the hospital. The security surrounded him and he ducked away from the paparazzi. All he could see was flashing lights and hear a lot of questions being shouted at him. Dean quickly made it to the car, got in and Bobby sped off, ensuring to flip the paparazzi off as he did so. 

"How's Cas?" Sam asked from the back seat. Dean turned around, his eyes dull and his skin pale. He looked like such a wreck. 

"He's...Uh...I mean he's not great Sammy. They did an operation on him and told us the bullet was literally millimetres away from his heart. He nearly died. He's still in a bad way but he's in an induced coma right now, they said we could see him tomorrow morning. Last time I seen him he was bleeding all over the floor" Dean bit his lip as the image seeped into his brain and wouldn't leave. He didn't want to think of Cas in that state. 

"He sounds like a fighter that one Dean, I'm sure he's going to make it out of this better than he was before. That guy that shot him was his uncle, right? Sick fuck, how can he do that to his on nephews. I couldn't imagine ever hurting you boys" Bobby ranted, repulsed by Zachariah's actions. He felt sick just at the thought of hurting his boys who he considered to be his own children. "Where's their mom and dad in all of this?" Bobby asked. 

"They're dead. Just before they moved here their mom, dad and sister all died in a car accident. Their dad wasn't exactly the best guy ever. Well, put it this way he would make our dad look like a saint" Dean told him, trying not to spill all the details to Bobby. That was none of his business unless the brothers told him themselves. 

"Poor kids, I can't imagine what they're going through" Bobby sighed, running a hand across his scruffy beard. "I'll drop you two off at home then I'll go and get the impala, it's at the school, right?" Bobby asked. 

"Yeah it's still there" Dean breathed. He and Cas were in that car only a few minutes before Zachariah shot him. If only they he stayed out longer. Better for his brothers to find out he and Cas had snook out than to have him lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. He couldn't help but feel partially responsible. 

They pulled up outside of the house as Dean and Sam exited the car. Bobby told them he would be back soon before he drove off towards the school. Dean unlocked the front door, sighing before letting him and Sam in the house. He was so mentally exhausted but he couldn't shut it off. He was broken out of his thoughts when Sam hugged him. "It's okay Dean, Cas will be alright" the shorter Winchester consoled to try and help his brother feel better. Dean smiled slightly and hugged him back. He was trying to control his emotions while around Sam. He didn't want him to see him in such a vulnerable state. 

"Hope so" Dean simply responded, tapping Sam on the back before he let go and Dean walked up the stairs. He needed alone time. He lay down on the bed and took a deep breath. He could smell Cas on his clothes. Just that made him tear up. He took off his blazer and put it to his face, inhaling the scent. A few tears fell from his eyes as he did so. "Please don't leave me" he whispered, as if Cas would be able to hear him. "I need you" he whimpered, pressing the blazer harder against his face as more tears fell onto it. "I love you." 

_______________________________________________________

The Novak's had decided that Gabriel would stay in the room with Lucifer while Balthazar stayed with Michael. The nurses at the hospital had provided them with recliner chairs, pillows and blankets to sleep as well as pyjamas. They couldn't let two vulnerable teenagers go back to a house on their own with no adult supervision. It wouldn't have ended well. They were pretty sure Gabriel would have done something to harm himself considering his state. 

Dean had left half an hour ago, Balthazar was asleep, his broken hand resting on a pillow provided by the staff. Michael couldn't sleep though. He was happy Balthazar was able to get some sleep, at least he could escape reality for a while. Michael was still stuck in this hell. He thought about the fact that Cas was just down the hall. He was so tempted to go and see but he couldn't do that. Not without waking everybody else up with his crutches. Gabriel, however, had a different idea. 

Gabriel and Lucifer were both still awake but both very tired. "I need to pee" Gabriel announced before standing up and heading for the door. 

"Don't be too long or I will panic. Five minutes" Lucifer cautioned to which Gabriel nodded and exited the room. Of course Lucifer would have gone with him but he couldn't even use crutches. He had sustained injuries in both of his legs and therefore was wheelchair bound. Gabriel walked down the dark corridor, looking in every room. He didn't know which room Cas was in but they said it was this floor. He was determined to find it. He tried to make his footsteps as quiet as possible but he was unable to make them silent. He walked past a sign which said intensive care unit. Cas had to be here somewhere. He looked left and right, to each room until he looked into one and spotted a familiar mop of black hair. His breath hitched. It was Cas. The sight made him sick. 

Cas had tubes rammed down his throat with a lot of different tubes coming out of his arms. He has an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose and was dressed in a similar attire to Michael and Lucifer's hospital gowns. Gabriel walked forward slightly before he dropped straight to his knees in a heap. "Cassie" he choked as he put his hand on the door, as if trying to make him and Cas closer in distance. "I'm so sorry" he choked, he wished he could have done something, anything to prevent this and protect his little brother.

He sat there for a while, way over five minutes. Nurses appeared to be rushing towards him. He was confused by this, he hadn't done anything wrong. 

"Come on sweetheart, your brothers worried. Cas needs to be monitored for a while. You can see him tomorrow morning we promise but you need rest too, come on" One of the nurses spoke softly to him, holding her hand out. He took hold of her hand and pulled himself up. She was accompanied by two other nurses who were there to ensure that he didn't lash out or that he hadn't hurt himself. They walked back towards Lucifer's room with the nurse beside Gabriel. Her hand was around his shoulders as he tried to compose himself. 

They reached the room and the nurse opened the door, still holding Gabriel at her side. Lucifer's face dropped as soon as he saw Gabriel's expression. His face was blotchy, his eyes bloodshot and tear stains ran down his cheeks. "Where was he?" Lucifer asked, worried incase his brother would harm himself just like he had. Just the thought hurt something in him. That was exactly why he couldn't tell them that he had relapsed, he knew it would make matters worse. 

"He was sitting outside Castiel's room, I think he might be a little shaken from seeing him like that" she told him while Gabriel just looked down at the floor. The image of Cas on the floor, bleeding, kept popping into his head and now the one of him in the hospital bed. "I'll leave you boys to it, get some rest. Both of you, you need it" she instructed as she walked Gabriel over the the chair next to he hospital bed to ensure he would relax, even just a little. She then left the room with a smile on her face before closing the door. 

Gabriel didn't say a word, he just pulled the blanket tight around himself and lay down. He was facing towards the door with his eyes screwed shut. Lucifer was facing him with his eyes open. He felt as if he couldn't sleep until he knew Gabriel was sleeping. That way he knew he was okay, that he wouldn't hurt himself. He stayed like that for at least an hour until he could finally hear Gabriel's steady breathing and little snores. He knew he was safe. This put Lucifer's mind at ease as he could let himself fall into a slumber which was exactly what he needed after their ordeal.


	16. Escaping Our Own Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MENTIONS OF MENTAL HEALTH DIORDERS AND A PAST SUICDE ATTEMPT.
> 
> The chapter is finally finished! I'm sorry for he long wait but it's an extra long chapter to make up for it.

Chapter Sixteen:

Dean woke up to a text from Gabriel which was sent at 5am asking him if he could get some of his clothes from his house because, quote, he couldn't stand the stupid and itchy clothes they give him. The text also said that there was a spare key hidden in a plant pot beside the house. Dean got up and out of bed to get ready, he had to be quick especially if he had to make a stop at the Novak's first. It was 9:30 a.m and he didn't want to miss being able to go and see Cas. 

It only took him 20 minutes to shower and throw on some clothes. He rushed downstairs and grabbed the keys for the impala. He was just about to walk out the door when he heard Bobby call his name. "I'm going to the hospital" Dean informed him. 

"Send them kids my love, would ya?" He asked, with sincerity lacing his words together. Dean sighed and smiled slightly at the gesture. He was so happy Bobby was around. 

"Course I will, I'll see you later" Dean told him before he hopped into the impala, speeding off towards the Novak's house. 

_______________________________________________________

Alastair was awoken by a bang he heard downstairs. He was startled by the sound and his head was pounding. He only had about one hour of sleep. He was kept up thinking about the fact that his Dad was truly gone. He thought he should feel sad or angry or even happy but he couldn't feel anything. He was just numb to the whole situation. 

He heard another loud bang downstairs again and threw the covers off himself before he walked downstairs. He wasn't even frightened of what or who was downstairs because he didn't care anymore. If it was a murderer then he would be killed and he didn't care if he was. He saw that the front door was open and looked confused. A man appeared at the front door and held a gun up to him, he didn't so much as flinch. "Who are you?" He asked, continuing to walk down the stairs towards the man. As he got closer he noticed the man had a police uniform on. 

"Officer Montgomery, we are here to search this house after the death of Zachariah Novak, who are you?" He asked pointedly. Alastair just sighed, of course they would show up eventually. Why didn't he expect this before? 

"I'm Alastair, I'm Zach's son" he told him, the officers eyes seemed to widen at that as he lowered his gun. He mumbled something into his radio which Alastair was unable to make out. 

"Guys, the dudes son is here" he shouted out in the house and suddenly a load of cops and warrants peeked out of the living room, all staring straight at him. He felt like some kind of zoo attraction or something. It was almost like they hadn't seen a teenager before. 

"Why are you all staring at me?" He asked, bad attitude was apparent in his tone. He just wanted them to back off. 

"Hey, do you mind if we ask you some questions?" A female police officer asked. "My names Ellen, do you want to go upstairs and talk?" She asked in a sweet voice. Alastair did kind of think she could be patronising but at least she wasn't making him feel uncomfortable. She shooed the others away back into the living room before turning back to Alastair with a welcoming smile on her face. 

"Yeah, okay" he agreed before he led her upstairs. She got out her notepad and pen as they did so, ready to write down all that he said. "My rooms a mess, I'm just a little out of it at the moment, sorry" he apologised before they entered his room. There was stuff all over his floor, it was near impossible to see the mouldy green carpet below. Ellen sat at a small desk which resided in the cramped room and set out her equipment as she did so. 

"So how old are you Alastair?" She asked, placing her pen next to the notepad and setting up a voice recording system. 

"I'm 17" he answered simply. He sat down on his bed and looked around at all of his room, he really did need to clean this up. 

"My daughters just a year older than you, she goes to Rensville high school, where do you go?" She asked, making small talk. 

"I go there kind of, my Dad made me go there to terrorise my cousins" he sighed and Ellen looked over at him with a concerned look. "The cousins who are in hospital" he added and she began to set up the equipment faster as it was clear Alastair would be able to provide evidence or something that might help. 

"I'm going to start recording now, okay?" She asked, Alastair nodded and she pressed a button in the tape which must have been the recording one. "Can you state your name and birthday?" She asked. Alastair looked at her and she gave a reassuring smile. 

"Oh, uh, Alastair Thomas Novak, 7th of February 1998" he told her and she nodded to let him know he did what she asked correctly. Knowing him he would probably have messed up on just that. He was a failure after all, just like his dad always told him.

"I'm first going to ask you about your Dad, what was he like? You don't need to lie. He can't hurt you anymore" she insisted as she looked down at the black and blue bruises which were painted down his arms. He put his hand over his arm but it didn't cover them, there were plenty more where they came from. 

"He was...abusive to say the least. He would constantly physically and verbally abuse me, telling me how much of a waste of space I was. They hurt the most, you know? The verbal stuff, that hurt way more than any beating he ever gave me. He did shoot me a few times, one not that long ago actually. He would just get me to sew it up with dental floss and use these crutches I got when I was ten and broke my leg, that was him too. Like, he made me go to Rensville so that I could spy on my cousins. He made me wear a wire and hacked into the security cameras all the time to watch what I was doing so I had to act like an asshole to them but I didn't want to do it. If I didn't he would have killed me, not literally but, I don't know. He did kill people though but I just didn't know how to come forward because he covered it up so well. My cousins tried to tell cops they killed their half brothers Mom but they didn't believe them" he explained, rubbing a hand across his face as he was forced to recall many of the memories he tried so hard to forget. 

"Okay, don't worry" Ellen reassured him reaching over and putting a hand on his shoulder. It was such a motherly gesture, Alastair wasn't used to this kind of affection. She removed her hand before she asked her next question. "What did he make you do to your cousins and why did he hate them so much?" She asked. Alastair knew this question would come up. 

"He hated them because their dad, my uncle, he was like my dad. He was very abusive to all of them throughout their lives. Castiel, the blind one, he's the reason why Cas is blind, he did that to him and a lot more. My dad blamed them for his brother's death. He died in a car accident when he was driving with their mom and their sister because she wanted to move out. He crashed because he was drunk and driving recklessly and they all died but my dad, he only cared about him. He didn't care about his niece dying or his sister in law. So then he blamed it all on them. He made me be so horrible to them, he would listen in to make sure I would say the stuff to them he wanted me to. Lucifer punched me a few times for it, I don't blame him either. Cas is with another guy and so of course my dad spied on them and took a picture of them kissing then he made me put the picture all over school one day. I felt so much regret about that. I wish I stood up to him and said no but last time I had done that, boy did I live to regret it. The worst part is, I know I can't make it up to them" he sighed, looking down at his feet. He looked up again and saw Ellen was about to talk but he knew what question she would ask. "Before you ask, my dad killed Raphael's Mom and...he...he killed my mom and my brother. She...she was pregnant with my little brother...and then he killed her" 

_______________________________________________________

Balthazar walked into Lucifer's room, a blanket wrapped around himself, Lucifer shushed him before pointing at Gabriel who was still sleeping. Balthazar whispered a quick sorry before quietly closing the door and tip toeing over to the nearest chair. "The nurses told us what he did last night. Was he alright afterwards?" Balthazar asked, keeping his voice down. 

"I don't know. He didn't say a word, he just lay on there and lay still. He got his phone out at one point but that was the only movement he made. I literally began to question if he was even breathing. He's taking this bad, we've just got to help him get through it. We don't want him back there, in that place he gets himself into when something happens" Lucifer breathed. 

Despite Gabriel being a generally happy, extroverted and playful person he would sometimes fall into extreme cases of post traumatic stress disorder. The last time was when his mom and Anna had died. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, he wouldn't even get out of his bed. The first time he ever had it, Lucifer remembered it well. Gabriel was only 12, it set in not long after he saw Cas after he went blind. Gabriel just couldn't cope with seeing his brother in that state, he had told Lucifer he had nightmares about it all the time for months after the occurrence. Their dad wasn't having any of it and of course punished him for not coming downstairs when asked or not talking enough or just having a "stupid look on his face." That, of course, made it so much worse. Their mother tried as hard as she could to try and nurse him back to health since the longer he stayed like that, the more abuse he was going to get until eventually their dad hurt him to the point he really did need a hospital. When he was there they noticed his behaviour and helped him with therapy and medication. They were all worried about his PTSD returning, for some reason he was particularly susceptible to it but it wasn't his fault. He had witnessed some horrifying things during his life. 

"I'm worried about him" Balthazar sighed, looking over at Gabriel and slightly twitching his mouth upwards. He remembered during his other periods of PTSD when they would all just be glad when he finally did sleep and that was the exact feeling he had right now. That concerned him. They couldn't mention it either because Gabriel would always just become defensive about it. He didn't really like touchy feely conversations which were about him. With others he could talk all day and tell them how they should feel better about themselves but when it was about him he couldn't take it. 

Gabriel turned over suddenly, facing the ceiling rather than the wall. They both looked over at him. He slowly fluttered his eyelids open and stretched his arms above his head. He looked over at them and scrunched his face up in confusion. "Where's Michael?" He asked simply, his voice rough and croaky. 

"In his room, he told me to come get him when you were both awake. He didn't want to wake you guys up with his crutches. I'll go and get him." Balthazar smiled before he quickly scurried out the room. 

"Are you okay?" Lucifer asked Gabriel, who looked annoyed by this question. 

"Fine" he replied bluntly, looking away from Lucifer when he answered. Lucifer knew he was lying. 

"Are you su-"

"I said I'm fine, okay? Can't you just leave it at that!?" He snapped. Lucifer's blue eyes filled with hurt and concern. Gabriel felt guilty almost instantly. "Sorry, it's just...I'm just tired. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap" he apologised just a few seconds after his remark. He put his hand to his hair and grabbed at it furiously to the point where it looked like it hurt. Lucifer was about to say something when he door opened and the sound of Michael's crutches echoed throughout the room. He looked from Gabriel to Lucifer, expecting some kind of explanation. Lucifer just shook his head, his deep rooted fear and concern evident from his expression. 

Michael hopped a few steps towards Gabriel before sitting down, leaning his crutches against the wall and removing Gabriel's own hand from own his hair. "Looked like you were going to pull your hair out there little bro" Michael laughed lightly, but it wasn't a laugh of humour. More of a nervous laugh. Balthazar was standing near the door way looking on. 

"Sorry" Gabriel said on instinct, twiddling his hands in his lap. He was unable to make eye contact with Michael. "I'm sorry for being such a burden, don't think I can't tell that you're all walking on eggshells around me right now. I'm trying, okay? I'm trying not to let it take hold of me again. You don't need to act like I'm a walking time bomb" Gabriel told them, that made them all feel a little bit of relief. He was able to acknowledge what they were afraid of as well as reassuring them. This actually gave them a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe Gabriel wouldn't fall into PTSD again. 

"Okay, you're right but you don't need to apologise. You haven't done anything wrong, it's not your fault that you suffer from this. I don't want to ever hear you say sorry for having something you can't prevent again" Michael told him in that motherly way he did so well. Gabriel didn't reply. "Okay?" Michael asked again, leaning down to get eye contact with him. 

"I'm not making any promises" Gabriel muttered and that glimmer of hope soon faded from them all. They expected the worst, they expected Gabriel to fall back into his PTSD. 

Dean walked in with bags of all of their clothes. Gabriel looked up at him and smiled before approaching, they were all watching with caution, as if he was about to explode any second. He didn't though. He simply asked Dean which were his clothes and took the bag before sitting back down. "I asked Dean to go and get our clothes since he was out anyway, don't really want to see the photographers and all that shit do we?" He asked rhetorically but they all shook their heads, without speaking a word. 

"I feel like I've walked in at an awkward time, have I?" Dean asked sensing an uneasy tension in the room. Not one of anger but more one where they may have been talking about something and he had walked in on it. Michael was about to open his mouth but Gabriel got there before him.

"Don't be silly Dean, it's fine" Gabriel said, adding emphasis on the word fine. He broke eye contact with Dean as he did so and gave a stern look to his brothers. He didn't want to drag yet another person into his problems. Dean had enough problems of his own without that being dumped on him too. Gabriel thought that them moving here had pretty much ruined Dean's life, he wasn't going to sugarcoat it. He had been in so much distress all because of them. The school got set on fire not even a month into their stay at the school. It made him feel guilty, as if he should answer for it, like that was just another thing that he could place the blame on himself for. 

"My uncle bobby sends his love, he hopes you guys are all okay" Dean smiled, breaking the silence as they all just looked at Gabriel in concern. Dean could tell there was something off about him, of course he was devastated over what happened but he didn't know anything else. He presumed that Gabriel must take things like this hard, but it was so much more complex.

_______________________________________________________

 

"I was seven, nearly eight. My mom...She had just found out that she was having a boy without my dad there at the scan. He asked, well no, told her to book a new appointment but she was excited and went alone. When she told him the news he didn't even smile, he just looked angry. I will never forget the look on his face. He beat her to death, literally, and then he burned her body in the shed. I remember he told me that this is what would happen to me if I ever disobeyed him. The amount of times he kicked her in the stomach...I tried to make him stop, I really did. I screamed and even blocked a few of the punches but it didn't make a difference. His mind was set" Alastair explained, recalling the memory, forcing himself to not let his emotions show. He was trying to stop his hands shaking. "Bartholomew, that was going to be his name" he smiled fondly as Ellen listened with a look of pure understanding mixed with sympathy on her face. She turned the microphone off.

"Do you have anyone over eighteen who you can stay with? You're still a minor. We legally cannot allow you to continue living here in your own, especially considering your situation" Ellen asked, although she already knew the answer. 

"I've got no family, well my cousins but I terrorised them. They hate me and I don't have time to make friends, I probably wouldn't make any friends anyway" he explained, wishing that he would have stood up to his father instead of being too afraid of what he would do to him. At least he didn't have to live in fear anymore, he thought. He was struggling to find a negative in the fact that his father was dead. 

'How's about I go down to the hospital to speak to your cousins? I will tell them however much you feel comfortable with me telling them. If not I'm afraid you're going to have to go into a care home or possibly a hostel" Ellen informed him. Alastair could tell how much she actually wanted him to find a place to stay. 

"Tell them everything but just tell them no hard feelings if they don't let me stay. I wouldn't blame them" he admitted, pursing his lips. He regretted his actions so much. He couldn't believe he had actually done those things. Maybe he was a monster, just like his father. His mother wasn't even much better. She wasn't exactly mother of he year. She didn't abuse him she just took drugs when he was around, a lot. The drugs mad her act so different to when she wasn't high. She would become aggressive towards him if he did get in the way but most of the aggression was aimed to his father. They would hit each other and have full blown fist fights at least once a week. After she died his father found his new punching bag, his own son. He had never even hit him before his mother died. 

"I'll be back soon" Ellen reassured him, breaking him out of his thoughts. He smiled slightly before she left the room leaving him alone. He didn't even hope that his cousins would forgive him. He didn't deserve forgiveness, not after what he had done to them. Even if he was forced to.

_______________________________________________________

"Are you boys ready to see Castiel?" A nurse came in and asked the five boys in the room. At that they all perked up. She had a wheelchair with her for Lucifer since he was unable to use crutches. 

"Yes" Dean responded eagerly causing them all to laugh slightly at how excited he was. Gabriel was unsure whether he was excited or nervous after seeing Cas yesterday. He knew what state he was in and how many wires he was connected to. Just the thought of it made him feel nervous. Balthazar put a hand on Gabriel's shoulder which made him jump at first but once he looked over and saw his brother he relaxed. Balthazar forced a small smile which Gabriel tried to return before looking away. Lucifer was already being wheeled out while Michael wasn't far behind, the other three lingered behind them a little for two reasons. The first was to ensure they had space, they would need a little room and the other was fear. Each of them were happy they could see Cas but also afraid of what state he would be in. Although Gabriel had already seen him he imagined him looking even worse for some reason, as if he would be all broken and bloody. He felt like something would go wrong and who could blame him considering the past few months. 

"I must warn you, he is not in the best state right now. He looks a lot worse than he actually is" the nurse cautioned before opening the door and wheeling Lucifer next to the bedside. Michael made his way inside and sat on a chair next to his twin. The other three cautiously walked in. When Dean, who went in before the two Novak brothers, saw Cas he didn't know how to react. He froze in place. There were tubes coming out from every direction but just the sound of the heart monitor soothed his thoughts. His heartbeat was normal, that was he important thing for now, the fact that he was alive. Dean slowly made his way to the opposite side of the bed before he saw Balthazar practically drag Gabriel into the room with his free arm. Gabriel forced himself to look at Cas and took a deep breath before he didn't resist anymore, he just followed Balthazar in without trying to back out. "I will stand just outside the door. If you need me then just call me. You boys can speak to him. A lot of patients put into comas say that they could hear their loved ones speaking to them during their coma. You can touch him, you know, hold his hand or anything like that but just not near where there are tubes because if they get knocked it might be damaging for him. If you don't call I will come and check you're all okay every fifteen to twenty minutes. I'll be just outside" she reminded them before closing the door and standing to the side of it so they were unable to see her. She didn't want to seem intrusive. 

There was a deathly silence in the room as they all just took in the sight before them. "The last time I saw anyone like this it was Anna" Gabriel acknowledged, remembering how hard his sister fought for life before she lost her battle. She had lived for nearly two days after he accident but she never woke up, she was just on life support. Michael and Lucifer were the ones who had to decide to pull the plug to see if she could breathe on her own, she couldn't. Luckily Cas was not on life support, his heart was beating on its own but he did have an oxygen mask on.

"He's not Anna" Michael told him, looking over at him with rage in his eyes. "He's Cas and he's the strongest person I know. Look at him, he got shot right near his heart and he doesn't need life support. He worked through everything, he's lived so long being blind and just look at how far he's come. Gabriel, don't worry. You know he's a fighter" Michael tried to reassure him but it didn't do much about the negative thoughts swirling in his head. "He can hear us right? Do you think he would want to hear how upset you are, Gabriel?" Michael asked, trying to make Gabriel feel guilty. 

"I-I can't help it" Gabriel replied, tears filling his eyes and his voice becoming hoarse. "I'm sorry Cassie" Gabriel muttered, grabbing Cas' hand and standing up. 

"What are you doing?" Michael asked, Gabriel didn't reply. He just left the room. 

"Michael for fucks sake" Lucifer scowled hitting Michael on the arm. "You know he gets emotional and you know he probably is already suffering from his PTSD coming back. It's not his fault. Balthazar, can you go and get him?" Lucifer asked, annoyed that he couldn't just do it himself. Balthazar nodded and stood up. 

"You're a real fucking asshole sometimes, you know that?" Balthazar asked and before Michael could even try and defend himself, he left the room. "Where did he go?" He asked the nurse outside. 

"He said he was going to the toilet" she replied. Balthazar smiled in thanks before rushing to the nearest toilet. He went straight into the men's bathroom and no one was there. He exited, running a hand through his hair before he heard the faint noises of sobbing. He followed the noise and it led him to the room right next to the men's bathroom, the disabled toilet. He knocked the door gently. 

"Hey, Gabriel. It's just me, open the door. Please?" He tried. He could hear shuffling in the room and stood back for the door to be opened. Once it did Gabriel's face was once again blotchy with tears running down his cheeks. "Can I come in?" Balthazar asked, Gabriel opened the door wider to allow his brother in. Once he had entered the older Novak hastily locked the door. Balthazar almost immediately noticed his erratic breathing. "Hey, hey come on. Gabriel take deep breaths okay? Listen to me, calm down. Copy me" Balthazar said as he began to demonstrate a breathing technique that his brothers would have to do to help him calm down when he was younger. Gabriel's breaths began to steady but they were shaky, uneven breaths. "Michael can be a douche sometimes, you know that but he didn't mean what he said. It is not your fault, none of this is your fault. You can't control your emotions and you can't change what happened back at school. You were brilliant anyway, I only got hurt because you know me, I'm a bit of a psycho when I'm angry" Balthazar joked to which Gabriel laughed lightly. "But you, you were so brave. You stood up for us. It's not your fault he got hurt and it's not your fault that you feel like this, okay?" Balthazar reassured him. 

"It doesn't matter though, what did that do to help you? To help Michael or Lucifer? What about Cas? He nearly died, Michael's right, Cas wouldn't want to hear me being such a drama queen but I can't look at him without panicking. When I look at him he vision of him looking so...so much like he was dead it just....its the only thing I can see. The only thing I can hear is the gunshots. I can't focus" he explained frantically as he clutched the sides of his head. He was pressing his hands against his ears and grabbing at the locks of hair that he could reach, pulling at them. Balthazar leaned down slightly so he was at Gabriel's level.

"Listen to me, okay? Don't listen to the gunshots and look at me not Cas, yeah? Look at any of us just don't look at Cas if you can't. Listen to anything except the gunshots, try to tune them out. I know that you can at least try and do that" Balthazar pleaded trying to help his brother. He couldn't stand to see him like this. 

"It's too hard" Gabriel barked, to which Balthazar stepped back slightly, not expecting the outburst. "Shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sor-"

"Come on, it's okay. I know you don't mean it" Balthazar soothed him, stepping towards him again and putting his hand in his brothers shoulder. He could feel the slight shivers as he did so making him extremely uneasy. Gabriel leaned into the touch and almost fell against his brother in a heap as silent tears fell down his already tear stained cheeks. Balthazar was surprised by his brothers sudden affection when Gabriel put his arms around him with his head buried into his shoulder. Balthazar could feel the warm tears against his shoulder as he put his arm around his brother. Thoughts raced through his mind, he was so worried about Gabriel. His usual signs of PTSD were showing and that sent off alarm bells in his head. He knew Gabriel needed help but it was always so hard to get him to accept the help he needed. "Tell you what, why don't we go back and don't look at Cas, close your eyes if you have to so you can talk to him if you want. He can hear you and I'm sure he would appreciate it, he loves you too and he would want to know if you're okay" Balthazar suggested as he rubbed circles on Gabriel's back trying to calm him down. 

"Okay" Gabriel whispered, nodding his head before moving his arms so he was able to wipe away the tears. "I'm ready" he announced, taking a deep breath before he slowly stepped forward a few paces to unlock the door. As soon as the door unlocked someone who was in a wheelchair was waiting outside and looked confused about the two boys standing in the toilet together. He looked from one boy to the other as if questioning what they were doing. 

"Oh...I...Uh...We're sorry, emotional day" Balthazar told him awkwardly before shuffling out of the way of the doorway. The man gave the pair daggers before he used his arms to control the wheels and let himself into the bathroom. He turned back and gave another dirty look before closing the door. Balthazar laughed at that and even a small smile spread across Gabriel's face. "Come on then Gabriel, we've got a little brother to see" Balthazar smiled before they both walked in sync back towards the room. Balthazar kept glancing over at Gabriel just making sure he wasn't about to breakdown again. 

They reached the door after the seemingly long walk back to the room, the nurse outside the room smiled warmly when she saw them approaching. "Are you both okay?" She asked stepping forward slightly with her eyebrow furrowed in concern. Balthazar nodded but Gabriel hadn't even made eye contact with her. She looked to him as did Balthazar to see his head hung down and his eyes staring at the floor. 

"Gabriel, it's okay. He's going to try going in there without looking at Cas, to see if it will help him. Baby steps" Balthazar informed her when Gabriel didn't look like he would be talking anytime soon. The nurse looked even more worried at that. 

"Okay, if you need me I'm outside, don't hesitate to call me if it gets too much for you, okay?" She asked bending her knees slightly so to try and get eye contact with the smaller Novak. He was biting his lip nervously before he eventually did nod. He closed his eyes and linked arms with Balthazar. It's not like they weren't used to guiding around someone who couldn't see. Balthazar pushed the handle to the door down and led his brother into the room. 

'-you're so strong little brother, I know you will be fine" Michael finished before he became aware that his brothers had entered the room. He noticed that Gabriel's head was downcast and that he was clinging to Balthazar as if his life depended on it. 

"Before any of you ask, I'm keeping my eyes closed because I can't look at him, not yet. It's too much" Gabriel mumbled as he stopped in his tracks making Balthazar stop too. Lucifer looked to the younger Novak with concern. They both shared the same look as they communicated through just their eyes alone. Balthazar led Gabriel towards the chair he was originally in before he plopped down beside him, edging his chair closer to him. Gabriel put his hand out to the bed before he felt cold, still fingers. He grabbed onto them and squeezed, knowing they belonged to Cas. "Cassie, I'm so sorry I couldn't have stopped this. I'm sorry I didn't do more to protect you from that asshole. You're my little brother, I'm supposed to make sure you don't get hurt but I failed at that...for like the hundredth time" he sighed with a shaky breath leaving his lips. They were all wanting to interrupt but stopped themselves. Gabriel had to get it off his chest despite it not being true, it was Gabriel's truth. "I won't forgive myself and I don't want you to forgive me either when you wake up. I love you so much, don't ever forget that. You mean so much to me" he paused, tears filling his closed eyes once again but he fought them away as much as he could. He squeezed Cas' hand harder. "Please...Cas...Please don't leave" he sobbed, his voice breaking due to the lump in his throat. Balthazar got off his chair and kneeled in front of Gabriel before hugging him again with his one working arm and rocking him slightly in his grip. Gabriel put one arm around Balthazar, his eyes still closed. His other hand was still grabbing on to Cas'. 

"He doesn't need to forgive you for anything, you didn't do anything wrong" Balthazar tried as he continued to rock his brother who had grabbed a handful of the clothes on his back. He didn't reply to that just shook his head in disagreement. They felt so helpless. They all knew his condition was coming back but they couldn't bring themselves to accept that fact or ask any of the doctors for help about it. 

"Guys, can I speak to Cas then I will go, just because I think you guys need family time" Dean asked since he felt so out of place in this situation and knew they needed to help Gabriel. 

"Yeah, of course Dean. Thanks" Lucifer replied with a grateful yet forced smile on his face. He was glad Dean understood without them having to tell him to go. They couldn't do that anyway, Dean had been way too good to Cas for any of them to even think about being rude to him. 

"Okay" Dean took a deep breath before continuing. "Hey beautiful, we're all so worried about you, we don't need to be though. We all know you're a fighter and that you will get through this. You mean the world to me, you're my perfect angel. I think I speak for everyone here when I say I love you. I love you so much Cas, you're so strong and I know you're a fighter. You can get through this and show everyone how strong you are. I'll see you soon" Dean smiled slightly before he got out of his chair and kissed Cas' forehead. He looked to the others who were all just looking at Cas, besides Gabriel of course. Gabriel still had his eyes closed and Balthazar was still kneeling in front of Gabriel. 

"That was great Dean, he'll love that. We'll see you later" Lucifer waved as all of the brothers said bye to Dean. Dean left the room just hoping there would be less tension in the air when he returned tomorrow. He texted Bobby to let him know he would be home soon. Bobby replied soon after telling him to stay safe in that protective manner he often did. 

Bobby was literally the polar opposite of his father but remained friends with him so he was able to see Dean and Sam. He knew that if anything did happen to John he would get custody of them which, of course, would be much better than them going into a care home. With the way John was it was almost a waiting game for when he would pass away. He was constantly drunk and getting into fights. Bobby had no idea how he even had a job. All he did was cause trouble. He was sure one day John would mess with the wrong people and get into serious trouble if he wasn't already in jail.

_______________________________________________________

"-Cas, really. You are so loved. Just stay strong little guy" Lucifer finished, forcing a smile. Balthazar was the only one who hadn't said anything. They all looked to him. He was still kneeling in front of Gabriel who's eyes remained screwed shut in fear of even catching a glimpse of Cas' form.

"I don't know what to say to him...You guys have pretty much covered it...Just don't go dying on us, okay?" Balthazar said bluntly. They could tell he was being sarcastic but of course there was a glimmer of realism in Balthazar's voice. While it did seem unlikely he would die it was a thought that lingered at the back of all of their minds. There was a long silence after that where no one knew what to say. They were all just lot in their own thoughts.

"Can we go?" Gabriel asked, stress and frustration evident in his voice. He couldn't listen to himself think any longer without going crazy. The others all looked to each other with a mutual concerned and worried look on each of their faces. 

"Yeah, we can go now" Lucifer responded when no one else did. He used his hands to move himself to the door in his wheelchair. He pulled the handle down but couldn't pull the door open. "Little help?" He asked to the nurse who he knew was standing outside the door. The door opened and Lucifer wheeled himself backwards to get out of the way. When he went to thank the nurse he was instead greeted by a cop. She was wearing a warm, motherly smile on her face. Michael came up behind Lucifer with his crutches as Balthazar tried to guide Gabriel who was stiff and tense. 

"Who're you?" Balthazar asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice. He couldn't stand the police after he found out Zachariah was one of them. 

"My name is Ellen Harvelle. Don't worry, I'm not here to question you about what happened. Not yet anyway" she informed them, her smile still firmly in place. 

"Why are you here then?" Lucifer asked with squinted, suspicious blue eyes. She just looked to him as if he wasn't just rude to her. 

"I'm here to talk to you boys about your cousin, Alastair Novak"

_______________________________________________________

 

Dean walked towards the exit of the hospital before he remembered he had to tell he front desk he was leaving due to the news reporters waiting for the latest scoop who resided outside the hospital. He walked back to the front desk to inform them who he was. They told him to wait for just a moment while they got the guards and so he sat down to wait. As he sat there he just watched everyone walk by him, everything seeming to go in slow motion. His gaze was interrupted when a guard stood in front of him blocking his view. "You Dean?" He asked to which Dean nodded. Another guard joined them as they began to walk towards the exit.

One of them opened the door for him before returning to Dean's side. They shouted at the reporters to let Dean through. He just thought the whole situation was weird. The fact that they were wiling to invade people's privacy just for a tragic news story seemed messed up to him. He reached the car and sat in the drivers seat. The security guards were blocking the flashes. By standing in front of the side windows and telling them to move back. Dean drowned them out with the sounds of AC/DC before driving off. He lost himself in the music not wanting to think about all he negativity in his life. 

He got home and parked, taking the key out of the ignition. He just sat there for a moment, he wasn't even thinking about anything. His mind was blank and he felt numb. He leant his head on the steering wheel and took a few deep breaths as if to prepare himself for something even though nothing was going to happen. After at least ten minutes of deep breaths and feeling strangely empty rather than anything else he slowly opened the door to the car and exited. He locked the car before walking to the door and letting himself in. He left his keys on a table near the door. The house was silent but that didn't even worry him. He walked into the living room to see Bobby with a look sympathy on his face. The TV wasn't on and there was no noise from anywhere in the house, not even the sounds of footsteps. "Where's Sam?" Dean asked. 

"I told him to go upstairs when I saw you sitting out there in that Impala for so long" Bobby told him, standing from the chair and slowly walking to Dean. 

"H-He looked so...dead. The only thing making me certain he was alive was the heart monitor. One of his brothers is taking this whole thing real bad. He's always so energetic and flamboyant and right now he's like a whole different person" Dean explained, his head downcast. He looked up and Bobby could see the pain written all over his face. His expression softened. "Why do such bad things happen to good people? Mom died and she was just...the nicest person. Sammy didn't even get to meet her. He didn't get to meet Dad before he was an abusive asshole. Cas is just the most beautiful and amazing person I've ever met and look what's happened to him. He's been abused his whole life, he's blind and now this" Dean vented as his eyes became glazed over with tears. "I love him" he managed to whimper before Bobby forcefully pulled his 'son' in for a hug. 

"I know you love him kiddo. He'll be alright. That boy sounds like he can survive anything. I'm sure he'll come out of this even better than he was before" Bobby reassured him actually believing the words that were spilling from his mouth. From what Dean had told him Cas sounded like one hell of a fighter. "He won't let a tiny copper bullet keep him down for long" he added as Dean clutched onto him as if he were seven years old all over again. They stood in silence in the middle of the living room, hugging for a long time. Bobby occasionally slightly rocking Dean or rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

_______________________________________________________

"We should have known Zachariah would use his own kid for his gain. Can we speak to Alastair? Like face to face before we make a decision. Just want to know if he's lying or not, you can be there when we talk but I just want to talk to him" Michael enquired after Ellen had took the boys to Lucifer's room to explain Alastair's situation.

"Of course, that's understandable but to me he seemed pretty convincing. He was getting upset but I can bring him up here tomorrow" she smiled. 

"What will he do tonight? Like...Where will he stay?" Lucifer asked, feeling sorry for his cousin. They had treated him like shit. Lucifer had even punched him on some occasions. By the sounds of it he got beating enough at home without Lucifer's input. 

"He can stay at his house tonight as long as police guard the place all night then he can come up here tomorrow morning" Ellen responded. "That reminds me he said no hard feelings if you don't let him stay. Listen, the kid understands what he's done but he only did it because he was absolutely terrified of his father. He killed Alastair's Mom when she was pregnant. He was only seven and he remembers the whole thing" Ellen told them, remembering that Alastair had said she could tell them all of the gory details. 

"What...No...No way, I feel terrible for treating him so bad" Lucifer gasped, he couldn't believe even Zach would have been so cruel. She was carrying his baby and he didn't just kill her and the baby but also destroyed Alastair's innocence. Nobody should be subjected into seeing such a cruel and inhumane act yet alone a bright seven year old. No wonder he hardly disobeyed Zach. 

"You should not blame yourself, you were just trying to defend your siblings. There's nothing wrong with that, you thought he was a bad kid but that was the act he purposefully portrayed. If he did disobey his dad Zach would shoot him, he did not long before his death. His dad used to tap into CCTV systems of where he was making him wear a wire under his clothes so he could hear and see what he was saying. He wanted to make sure he was being as vile as possible for such a sweet kid. He tried to act like it around him but sometimes his mask slipped and that's when he would get beat" Ellen explained to all of them who all looked shocked besides Gabriel. He just looked to the floor expressionless. It was as if he was in his own world. 

"Tell him we're sorry about the way we acted towards him but we had no idea what was happening. If he's comfortable with seeing us here tomorrow then he's more than welcome" Michael piped up, sounding determined. Ellen smiled up at him and looked to all the others smiling at them too. 

"I'll let him know. Hey, kiddo. You okay?" She asked, directing her question towards Gabriel who was occasionally moving his mouth or biting his lip. He didn't respond, as if unaware she was speaking to him. He was after all not looking up at her. 

"Gabriel!" Michael hissed and his head snapped up as he looked around blankly. Michael raised his eyebrows questioningly. 

"Oh, uh...Yeah I'm fine. He can come here tomorrow, doesn't bother me" he shrugged, looking down again. He seemed very distant. Ellen looked towards the twins who were both wearing the same worried expression on their faces. She recognised that expression, she had seen it many times. She knew the boys didn't know what to do about their brother. She didn't mention it though. She didn't need to. 

"Okay, we will see you boys tomorrow at around 11am, is that okay?" She asked and the twins nodded. She smiled at them and nodded. "Take care" she told them before she left the room. She walked down the corridor before she spotted a nurse walking the opposite direction. "Hey, can you keep an eye on the Novak's? Especially Gabriel. He's vulnerable. Just don't tell him you are checking on him, he might explode otherwise. That kids on edge" she explained to the nurse who seemed to already know about his situation. She looked at her with understanding and concern. 

"We do already know about Gabriel's past issues from his medical records. When we realised how badly he was coping we got it out and he's been institutionalised a few times for extreme cases of PTSD combined with depression, insomnia and anxiety. We are keeping very close tabs on him, I can assure you" she informed Ellen who seemed to piece together the reasons why Gabriel was acting so distant. 

"I'd like to see this medical record, in fact, can I see all of the Novak's files?" She asked. The nurse nodded. 

"Right this way" she instructed before walking down the long corridor with Ellen not far behind her. They reached a cupboard, the nurse turned on all of the lights and a lot of files came into view. Th nurse walked into the cupboard and looked for the files, they were in alphabetical order and so she scanned the 'N' section before, after a few minutes, finding The Novak's. She grabbed all of the brothers files before coming across others. "Do you want their sisters, Mothers and Fathers records?" She asked. Ellen had no idea what happened to them and why they weren't here but she guessed it was ugly. 

"Why not" Ellen shrugged before being handed eight hefty medical records. She nearly dropped them when the nurse plonked them all into her arms. The nurse saw Ellen's struggle and grabbed a plastic bag, holding it open for her to put the files in. "You're too kind" Ellen smiled before dumping the files into the bag and taking it. 

"You are welcome to take the files home, it may take a while just bring them back as soon as possible. We have copies of them in another storage room but we always need back ups" the nurse told her. 

"Of course, I'll bring them in tomorrow. Thank you so much for your hospitality" Ellen smiled as she left the storage room and walked towards the exit. She used her walkie talkie to tell the cops still at Alastair's house that they need officers to guard the place as well as to tell him he can see his cousins tomorrow with her. She exited the hospital to see press still outside the hospital. They were trying to ask her questions but she ignored them and kept the plastic bag close to her, she didn't want any private information about them getting to the press. She got into the cop car and drove away to read the files at home. 

_______________________________________________________

Several hours of Gabriel looking blank and the others being worried passed as night fell. Gabriel, once again, slept in Lucifer's room while Balthazar slept in Michael's. Gabriel had been asleep for at least an hour and finally Lucifer felt as if he could stop watching him to make sure he was okay. He closed his eyes, sleep consuming him just a few minutes later. 

Lucifer was woken up just a few hours later by the sounds of whining and noises that were basically just distress calls. He sat up and looked over at Gabriel who was sweating profusely and fidgeting everywhere. He had kicked the blanket off himself as it lay on the floor crumpled up. Lucifer was unable to get up to walk to him. He removed his own blanket and tried to shuffle into the wheelchair beside him to go to Gabriel's aid. "Gabriel!" He tried but his whimpering continued. "Gabriel!" He shouted and the younger Novak shot up panting and wheezing. He looked around the room panicked. "Gabriel it's okay" Lucifer told him in a calm and collected tone. Gabriel didn't even seem to notice what he had said as he stood up and held his hands to his head. "Gabriel?" Lucifer asked as his brother mumbled to himself incoherent words and pressed his hands to his ears. 

"Stop" Gabriel mumbled to himself. "Stop it!" He screeched before he got up and ran to the door. Lucifer could hear his bare feet scrambling down the corridor. 

"Fuck!" Lucifer exclaimed trying to get into the wheelchair to no avail. He pressed the button beside his bed to call for a nurse. He tried once more to get into the chair but instead ended up falling and hitting his head just as the nurse walked in. 

"Lucifer, are you okay!?" She asked rushing to his side and kneeling beside him. 

"Gabriel, it's Gabriel. He just ran out. Find him, please find him" Lucifer begged as tears welled in his eyes. "Wake Michael and Balthazar up" he instructed as she ran out to get help as well as to tell the other two boys of the situation. A few minutes later some nurses showed up to help Lucifer into his wheelchair just as Michael and Balthazar ran into the room. "I tried to stop him, he just ran out and there was nothing I could do" he sighed one single tear falling down his cheek. Lucifer never cried. The boys knew how serious this was. The nurse left the room to go and help in the search for Gabriel before Michael hopped over to his twin, without his crutches, and hugged him as tight as possible. He couldn't stand seeing Lucifer cry, it was such a rare sight. "I just want everyone to be okay" he cried, hugging Michael back. 

"He'll be okay, they're out looking for him. They will find him" Michael assured him stroking a hand through his brothers hair. However he was unable to voice his own worries in fear of making Lucifer's or Balthazar's concerns worse but he was so worried about his younger brother. He just hoped they would find him soon. 

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel ran as fast as he could down the street, his bare feet hurting but he couldn't stop. He wouldn't allow himself to stop. 'You're nothing!' The voice of his father screamed at him. He forced himself to run faster still. "Get out of my head!" He screamed breathlessly before he fell over straight onto the concrete ground below. His vision became blurry and he saw blood fall onto the pavement. 'You should never have been born, you're a failure.' Gabriel scrambled trying to get up to run. He stood but soon became dizzy. 'Nobody wants you!' He ran again, not in a straight line but rather tripping up every few seconds. He was extremely dizzy and was having double vision. He felt his eye lids begin to grow heavy as a warm fluid oozed down his face. 

"Gabriel!" He heard a distant voice call but he kept running until he completely collapsed. He could see the outline of a person before everything turned to black.

_______________________________________________________

Ellen closed Michael's file and opened Gabriel's. On Michael's his was much the same as Balthazar's, broken bones from 'bullies at school' or from 'fighting with his brothers' Ellen didn't believe it for a second. She scanned through Gabriel's until she reached a section about his mental health. He had been diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD as well as anxiety and insomnia, just as the nurse had said. He had been institutionalised three times and the last time was just a few months ago after his mother, father and sister died. The first time was when he was just twelve years old. It stated that this was after witnessing an incident where his brother, Castiel, had been a victim of an attack in which they cut glass across and around his eyes causing him to become blind. The other time was when he was fifteen after he attempted suicide but Lucifer stopped him before he had the chance. Ellen sighed before closing his file, she felt sorry for him. She was sure he was a good kid but just had a tough life like so many others. 

She moved onto Lucifer's record. His was similar, injuries from fights more so than bullies. His latest edition was of course, the fire that happened at their school. In his mental health it simply stated that he had problems with his temper but that was recorded when he was fourteen. Castiel's was also similar in the injury department besides his blindness. After that he had come in with injuries due to bullies but Ellen doubted they were all down to that. 

She then picked up Anna's file, hers was also about the same injuries. Ellen was just interested in reading on her death. It stated that she did not die on impact but rather thirty four hours later after the twins had to make the decision of turning her life support off. At the time of death she was only twenty one years old.

Ellen put the file down and rubbed her face, she had to take a few moments before she went onto their Mothers file. She also had a significant amount of injuries which she began accumulating just after the twins were born. Ellen knew that they had a dead beat dad, it didn't take a genius to work out the pattern. She moved onto his record. He had a few injuries when he was younger which were mostly down to fighting with his older brother, Zachariah, or from accidents. She looked to his mental health to see he had not been diagnosed with anything. He must just have been evil, she guessed. She placed all the files into the plastic bag and sighed, leaning back in her chair. Those poor kids, she thought. She took them with her as she walked upstairs to her bedroom just to ensure that Jo and Charlie, who was staying the night, wouldn't see them. She placed them next to her bed so that no one could get to them without her realising. She fell to sleep thinking about those poor Novak kids. 

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel opened his eyes slowly, a bright light burning his eyes. Everything was still blurry. "Gabriel?" A familiar voice echoed. He blinked a few times, trying to properly regain consciousness. "Gabe?" Another voice, which seemed closer, asked. 

"Wha-...Where...Where am I?" He asked as his vision slowly improved. His head was killing him. He saw the outlines of three figures. "B...Brothers?" He asked trying to see properly but he guessed it was them. 

"Yeah, yeah, it's just us. You're okay now, we're here" one of them told him, he concentrated on that figure before a face appeared, it was Lucifer. He looked to the other two seeing Balthazar and Michael. 

"Luci...I...I'm sorry" he rasped, looking over to his older brother who looked so tired. Just the look on his face made Gabriel feel guilty. "I'm so...so sorry" he whimpered, his voice cracking. 

"Shh, it's okay. We're going to help you, okay? You're our brother and we are here for you no matter what but you have to talk to us. We don't want you to get admitted into the hospital again but if it's the only option we will have to" Lucifer admitted, not sugar coating the truth since Gabriel needed to hear it. His eyes widened at that. He couldn't bare going back there. Not again. 

"No, please don't. I can't go back there. Please don't send me away" he begged as fear was evident in both his face and tone. 

"We won't unless we have to. We don't want you there either. What happened tonight, Gabriel?" Michael asked, getting straight to the point at usual. Gabriel bit his lip nervously. He didn't want them to think he was crazy. "It's okay, you can tell us anything" Michael promised him when he saw he was having a difficult time. 

"I had a nightmare, it was just darkness and like...the voices of people close to me saying horrible things, including all of you so when I woke up and saw Lucifer I freaked out. The dream was so real I felt like he hated me so I ran. Then...When I was running my mind just wouldn't shut the hell up. I kept hearing dads voice in my head shouting at me. I was trying to get away from the voice in my own head" he admitted, not looking up at his siblings in case they were looking at him in disdain. After a few drawn out moments of silence he felt a hand on his arm. He looked over to see Lucifer. 

"Listen, I know you feel like you're crazy but don't worry about it. Look, none of us have said it but let's face it we can all see your PTSD is coming back and probably all those other things that come along with it. The cops put a tracker tag on your ankle so that if you do something like that again they can find you easier and maybe next time you won't end up with a concussion. Everyone is so worried about you, we don't want anything to happen to you or for you to be a risk to yourself. If you get too unpredictable there won't be any other choice but to put you back into hospital whether you like it or not" Lucifer told him in an attempt to try and make him improve without having to be sectioned although we was unsure whether or not it would help but he did need to hear it. They just wanted to do what was best for him. 

"Okay, I can't promise anything except that I will try. It's just so hard to fight it but I will try as hard as I can" Gabriel promised them just a few minutes before a nurse entered with a range of medications for him. He had anti depressants, pain killers, sleeping tablets and anxiety medication. It felt just like how it did just a few months ago when he was sectioned and had so much medication to take on a daily basis. He took all the tablets quickly and immediately felt the effects of the pain killers and sleeping pills, it felt amazing. "I'm tired" he announced, yawning. The nurse hastily checked his stitches and left.

"Good thing they let us share a room" Michael smiled but Gabriel looked confused. He looked across the room to see two other beds for the twins. He looked to Balthazar who was sitting on a recliner chair with a blanket draped over him. "We can keep tabs on you. Good night little brother" Michael said before he hopped to his bed. 

"Night Gabriel. Don't go getting out of bed, you're on rest bite kiddo" Lucifer told him with a wink before he wheeled over to his bed only to have Michael help him into bed. 

"Wake me up if you need anything" Balthazar told him before leaning back in the chair and pulling the blanket around himself. Gabriel's eyes automatically closed and it took a matter of seconds for his breathing to even out indicating he was asleep. Just the sound was so peaceful to his brothers and helped them relax into their own deep sleeps, they needed it after the day they had as well as the upcoming one where they would speak to Alastair for the first time without any hatred in their words. They just hoped for an easier day tomorrow.


	17. Meltdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Self harm and mentions of suicide. 
> 
> IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT. I had writers block near the start of this chapter but after a while I just couldn't stop. This chapter literally made me tear up while writing it near the end. Despite that I hope you enjoy. Next chapter there will be a little time jump, probably about two weeks since it's hard to find storyline. In the hospital in the same scenario.

Chapter Seventeen:

_The gunshot echoed throughout the building, he looked down to see it had hit him in the stomach. He didn't feel it, he just collapsed to the ground completely numb to his surroundings. He did manage to look across from him and see the lifeless face of his younger brother. He tried to speak but he couldn't, only ragged breaths came out._

_'Cas' he tried but no words would leave his blue, chapped lips._

_Suddenly everyone began to surround him, some familiar faces and some which belonged to strangers. He looked over once more to see no one was going to his brothers aid._

_'Help him, not me' he rasped in an inaudible whisper. No one listened. They just surrounded him._

_He felt himself grow weaker as the life drained from his body and out of the wound. His breathing was almost non existent and his eyes slowly closed._

_'Help Cas' he tried once more but this time not even a breath left his parted lips. He was dead._

_"Gabriel!"_   
_"Gabriel, wake up!"_   
_"Gabriel!"_

"Gabriel!" He shot up from his hospital bed sweating and panting. He looked around him and saw his brothers all looking at him with worry on their faces. He looked around taking in his surroundings before he fell back down onto his sweat filled pillow, breathing heavily in an attempt to calm himself down. "Gabriel, are y-"

"I'm fine" he panted. "I'm okay, I promise" he told them unconvincingly. Nobody could have been fooled by the act he was putting on. Just by glancing at him it was clear he wasn't okay.

"Alastair's going to be here in five minutes and you need to take your meds" Michael informed him, pointing down to the pills which were lying on a desk beside his bed with a glass of water. He nodded, still panting before he forced himself to sit back up. He felt a wave of dizziness hit him as he did so accompanied by a shooting pain in his head. He held his head, scrunching his eyes closed. "What's wrong?" Michael asked immediately when he noticed his brothers discomfort.

"I've got a concussion, my head is killing me" Gabriel told him before opening his eyes and reaching over to the desk for the tablets. He took the white painkillers first wanting to get rid of the pain he was experiencing. He then went in to take his anti anxiety and anti depressants leaving some of the water. Just as he finished the door opened and the same police officer from the previous day, Ellen, entered with a nervous looking Alastair.

"Good god Gabriel what happened?" Ellen asked, shocked to see the boy as a patient at the hospital rather than just a visitor as he was just a few hours earlier. He had purple bruises on one side of his face and some scrapes on his arms.

"Concussion, long story" Gabriel told her before looking to his cousin. He had never seen Alastair look so small despite him being taller than Ellen. He looked so vulnerable and extremely tired. "Hey Alastair" Gabriel smiled at him since no one had yet to say a word to him. They were too busy making sure he was okay but this wasn't about him, it was about his cousin. He had just lost his dad and had no one left, they were his last chance. He was desperate for their approval but they had always been suckers for helping their family.

"Hi Gabriel, all of you...look I feel awkward right now just standing with you guys here, seeing you all so hurt. I'm sorry for what my dad did to you guys and I'm sorry for everything I did to you all, especially Cas but I can't tell him that yet so I'm telling you. I didn't want to do that, when he told me I would be going to the same school as my cousins I was excited by that soon died when he told me why he wanted me at that school. I never wanted to hurt any of you. I understand if you hate me or think I'm lying, I probably wouldn't forgive me. I'm only asking just because I've got no one else if I did I would have just left you alone to think I was like my dad but I've got nothing" Alastair explained. His eyes were pleading and his stance was strong, as if he was trying to make himself look brave but they could all see in his face how afraid he was. Zach taught him to hide his feelings and that's exactly what he was trying to do.

"You have us" Michael smiled as they all turned to look at him. "We know exactly what it's like to grow up with such an abusive asshole but we always had each other and our Mom. I can't even imagine what it would be like if all of our fathers rage was directed just towards one person with no one to relate or talk to. You're our cousin, the past is the past none of us can change it but if you're going to stay with us you need to get to know us in person rather than just from what Zach told you, he's a liar anyway" Michael continued before looking at his siblings. They all seemed a little less confident than he did staring at him with wide eyes. "How about you stay here with us today then later on we can decide, is that okay, officer?" He asked, looking over to Ellen.

"Yes that's fine but I'll have to stay in and around the hospital all day, I won't intrude on any personal conversations you boys have but if you need me, ask a nurse or come and find me. Oh and boys, Jo and Charlie told me to tell you all to get better soon" she smiled before leaving the room.

"Come sit down" Michael told their cousin patting a seat beside him. Alastair walked over and sat in the seat as all eyes were in him.

"You want to get to know us, right? Michael is a Mom, I'm an asshole, Gabriel's constantly telling jokes, Balthazar is an angrier version of Gabriel and Cas is a confused but funny kid. Before you ask about Raphael, he won't be here anymore, he's a fucking douche bag" Lucifer told him leaving Michael to roll his eyes and give his twin a stern look while Balthazar laughed. "What? If he's going to be with us for a while he would have to know what we are actually like, this is how I would normally act. See Michael is trying to make a good impression, such a Mom" he winked. Alastair smiled but held back a small laugh while Balthazar high fived his brother.

"It's true, come on bro. You don't need to baby him, we're great compared to his dad, we can't really do much wrong" Balthazar laughed nudging Michael playfully who did not find amusement in the situation. He looked to his brothers in disdain before catching Gabriel's eye, he looked zoned out.

"Hey, Gabriel" Michael clicked his fingers in his brothers face. Gabriel jumped slightly before looking to Michael. "Stay with us, okay?" He told him to which Gabriel nodded as he forced himself back to reality rather than being alone with his own thoughts.

"What happened to you?" Alastair asked, looking over to Gabriel. "I mean I don't want to be rude or anything, I'm just curious. You even look a little different" Alastair pointed out and it was true. Gabriel's usual shine had faded. His usual gleeful smile was replaced with a frown. His bright golden eyes seemed to be puffy as well as dull and his skin was no longer an even tone with a slight tan, instead his skin was pale with bruises painting half of his face.

"Mental illness happened to me" Gabriel said, raising his eyebrows at the slightly older boy. "If you think I look bad then you should see Cas. Tubes coming out from every direction. You know the bullet nearly hit his heart, right? You can go thank your dad for that one, oh wait no, he's de-"

"Gabriel, stop!" Lucifer warned him when he saw that his brother showed no signs of stopping running his mouth. Gabriel stopped staring at Alastair and looked to Lucifer who was situated at his bed side. "Don't direct your anger at him, he's not the one who shot Cas or did this to us, okay?" Lucifer asked. Gabriel broke eye contact with his brother and searched his own mind. All of his instincts were screaming at him to hurt Alastair, as if he deserved it. He couldn't shut them off, he just wanted his mind to be blank. Anything was better than the thoughts rushing around his mind. "Okay?" Lucifer asked again.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I'm just really really irritable right now. It's not your fault. Sorry" Gabriel apologised, he didn't look at Alastair, he just looked down at his hands.

"It's alright, honestly I can just go if y-"

"No, stay. How about me, you and Balthazar go walk around while Gabriel cools off with Luci?" Michael suggested, interrupting Alastair. He looked to Lucifer who just nodded. He needed to talk to his brother.

"Okay" Alastair agreed as the three of them stood up. Gabriel looked up at them leaving and felt guilt hit him like a ton of bricks. He had drove them to leave because he couldn't just not be such an asshole for two minutes.

"We'll be back in like fifteen minutes" Michael told them as the other two left the room. He smiled to the pair of them before exiting. As soon as the door closed Gabriel put both hands to his face, taking deep breaths. He felt terrible. He felt Lucifer's hand on his leg. He removed his own hands from his face looking over to Lucifer with a painful expression.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Remember I told you about that I was trying to run from my own thoughts? They're back and I can't" Gabriel paused, his eyes glazing over. "They won't stop, Luci. I can't make them shut up. They were giving me a million and one reasons to hate Alastair even though this isn't even his fault. I can't turn them off, I just need them gone" Gabriel explained, his voice was hoarse and his throat was beginning to hurt as he held back his tears. Lucifer didn't say a word he just held onto the bed frame and pushed himself up and onto the bed. Gabriel sat up more, he sat how Lucifer did. With his legs hanging off the bed before looking over to him.

"You've had this before, where your thoughts won't stop and that was...when I found you trying to hang yourself. Gabriel, this is serious. I can't watch you do that to yourself again. I'm really on the fence about you going to hospital again because if anything happened to you I couldn't forgive myself. You're my brother and I want to do what's best for you but sometimes what's best isn't what you want to do" he ranted, looking straight into his brothers eyes and seeing all of the pain which were swimming in the dull pools of gold.

"Luci, I can't. I can't go back there, I hate it. Please don't send me away, I can get better with the medication without going there. Just give me a chance. I don't want to be away from you guys, not now" he rambled, panic evident in his tone.

"Will you get therapy? It might help, if you want me to come with you I will and we wouldn't even have to tell the others if you didn't want to" Lucifer suggested.

"Anything, just not there. I'm not going back there" Gabriel told him, his glazed eyes becoming more bloodshot.

"Okay, okay, come here" Lucifer shushed him before putting his arms around his brother. "You're going to be fine, I won't let you get hurt again by someone else or by yourself. I promise." Gabriel closed his eyes, leaning into his brothers embrace. He felt as if he could beat this with his brothers by his side but that could just be because of the medication, he thought. The tightness in his chest slowly fell away, as did the lump in his throat and tears which almost spilled.

"I feel bad for being an ass to Alastair" Gabriel sighed, pulling back from the hug to look at his brother. "I didn't mean it but he might not know that. I mean, he just lost his dad. He may have been abusive but he still lost the only family he had besides us. How are we going to care for him when we're all in hospital and not going home for a while properly anyway because of Cas. I mean he should have a say too, right?" Gabriel asked, confused about the situation. He thought it was all so sudden but he didn't want Alastair living on the streets or in a care home. Despite what he had done to them he was still their cousin and still only seventeen, they had to feel at least a shred of sympathy for him.

"I...I hadn't thought about it like that" Lucifer admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "I don't know, I'll have to talk to Michael and Ellen I guess. I don't want him to get out into care but we might not be able to take him, not right now anyway" He added, acknowledging the fact that Gabriel was right, there was no way they could properly help him in the state they were in. All they would do is cause him more stress.

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"He doesn't need to apologise, don't worry. I get it" Alastair told Michael who was ranting about Gabriel.

"He does, what he said isn't fair. He's not himself right now so I can't say this directly to him because he would just get upset but it doesn't give him an excuse to be rude" Michael raged, half shouting as they walked down the silent hospital corridor.

"Lay off him man, you know he's got problems. It's not his fault, you can be so insensitive sometimes" Balthazar argued, defending Gabriel since he knew how hard his brother was trying to get better. Although it may not seem like it Gabriel was trying to fight his condition.

"That doesn't excuse being r-"

"Michael, just stop, okay? I don't want to hear you rant about our mentally ill brother who, may I remind you, is trying his absolute best to stop himself from getting so bad he ends up back in hospital. Alastair, trust me Gabriel didn't mean a word of it he's just struggling so much right now. I guarantee when we get in there he will apologise straight away. He's going to feel guilty because he's not like that really. He's such a nice person, here, watch" Balthazar said before speed walking towards their room. He opened the door and smiled warmly at his brothers who were both sitting on the edge of the bed. Lucifer was closest to the door and so Gabriel leaned forward to see them. Alastair walked in next and Gabriel immediately jumped off the bed sending him slightly dizzy but he continued to walk towards his cousin anyway.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of what I said, I swear. I don't hold a grudge against you and my anger isn't directed at you. If I snap at you again just...punch me in the face I don't know" Gabriel joked making Alastair chuckle lightly.

"No hard feelings" Alastair told him, smiling down at Gabriel. Balthazar looked over to Michael with a smug expression plastered on his face. He mouthed 'told you'

"Yeah, super dizzy right now. Probably shouldn't have got out of bed so quick" Gabriel announced before he stumbled slightly but Alastair took hold of his arms, helping him straighten up while the others watched ready to intervene at any minute. "Thanks" Gabriel smiled before he released himself from Alastair's grip and made his way onto the bed, jumping up back next to Lucifer.

"Lucifer" Michael called before nodding his head towards the door. His twin just looked confused at what he wanted from him, shrugging his shoulders. "Need to speak to you outside" Michael rolled his eyes before his brothers look if bewilderment faded into a look of realisation. He tried to get into his wheelchair from the bed, he nearly fell but he was able to do it with a struggle. He was getting better at being on wheels he thought to himself smugly before he used his wheelchair to make his way over to Michael who was holding the door open for him. "Be back in a minute" Michael told them, closing the door behind him and Lucifer. "What did he say, is he alright?" Michael asked, looking down at his brother. Lucifer's face fell and Michael knew just from his expression that what he would say wouldn't be good.

"He told me that his own thoughts are driving him insane, he said he snapped at Alastair because all he could think about was reasons to hate him rather than forgive him. I'm worried, you know what happened last time and we can't go down that route again" he sighed, remembering the day when he found his own brother standing on a chair with a noose around his neck. He shivered just at the thought.

"Well what the hell are we supposed to do with him? How can we help him? We're running out of reasons to not send him back to hospital as much as I don't want him there it might be what's best. There is no way I'm watching him destroy himself, not this time" he declared, determination mixed with fear swimming in his eyes.

"I know but just...not yet. He's in a room with us and you just saw him in there the kid can barely move without getting dizzy. He can't get far, not yet. He's okay for a while" Lucifer pointed out. He wanted to keep Gabriel out of the hospital for as long as possible. When he was there they couldn't just show up to see him whenever they wanted, appointments with certain times and dates had to be made. They all hated the concept.

"But what about when he can move around again, he'll be up and running in what, two weeks? Look, none of us want him to go back there but maybe he needs to go, not yet obviously. When he's better maybe that's where he needs to be instead of having to be in this hospital just waiting for Cas to wake up. I just...I don't want him to hurt himself which is the path he's going down and you know it" he ranted. Lucifer lay a light hand on his thigh feeling the raised skin where his self harm cuts had been inflicted. He didn't want to talk about someone hurting the self. Whenever it was mentioned he felt as if they were going to find out he cut himself again and he didn't want that. They all had too much to worry about between Cas and Gabriel already.

"Yeah, I know" He breathed, having no good comebacks. He had told Gabriel he would take him to counselling but he wouldn't tell Michael, that was up to Gabriel. "Just trust me, I talked to him and he said he was going to try and open up more to me, he probably will to you and Balthazar as well soon. He's just...he's working his way round to all of us and he will talk to you properly eventually. You've just got to give him some time" Lucifer tried without telling Michael about the counselling but not lying either.

"Yeah, fine but if he doesn't get better then..." He sighed, closing his eyes. He didn't even have to finish his sentence. Lucifer knew if he didn't improve he would end up back in the mental health institution. He would do everything in his power to ensure that didn't happen. "What about Alastair? We are the ones who have to decide, how are you feeling about the whole thing?" Michael asked, changing the subject. The twins were burdened with so much pressure at this time just because they were eighteen and that wouldn't be lessened any time soon, Gabriel had only turned seventeen a week before their parents died. They had a long time until he was eighteen while the twins would turn nineteen only two months after they would finish school which wasn't too far off.

"I don't want him in a care home but I just don't know if we can look after him properly" Lucifer replied. "We're running out of inheritance money to pay for everything and we can't get jobs yet. The medical bill for all of this is going to be huge. I don't even think we have the money for it yet alone be able to help him. We're both hurt, Balthazar's broke his arm, Gabriel's a mess and Cas is in a coma. I think we could have him live with us but not yet we aren't ready" He explained, rubbing his temple as the stress of the decision overtook him. Michael, surprisingly, nodded in agreement. He was extremely paternal so Lucifer was surprised by this. He expected some sort of argument back.

"Where is he meant to go in the mean time?" Michael asked to which Lucifer had no answer. He just shrugged with a heavy sigh. They were so conflicted. Michael just opened the door and rejoined his family, holding the door open for his twin as thoughts ran through both of their minds.

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"I'm sick" Dean told Bobby who had asked him if he was going to the hospital today. Bobby looked unconvinced but still sympathy showed on his face.

"No, you're not. What's wrong?" Bobby asked, knowing that Dean was using illness as an excuse.

"I just can't, okay? Not today. I don't feel up for it" Dean snapped, sinking back into his pillows, facing away from Bobby. He didn't want to see Cas like that again, not today. He also didn't want to make them feel awkward with Gabriel's situation. He heard Bobby sigh before the sound of heavy footsteps became further away until he heard the door close. He relaxed at that. He picked up his phone so that he could text one of the brothers. He decided upon Michael just because he was the one who he believed would be most understanding and texting Gabriel was out of the question due to his current condition. He sent the message, placing his phone on his stand and closed his eyes. He was extremely tired, he hadn't been able to get any sleep. Every time he closed his eyes the vision of Cas in the hospital bed popped into his head. If only he had not rushed Cas as much, they wouldn't have been there for when Zach did arrive at the dance, he thought. He didn't even really want to go to the stupid dance he just went to show everyone he wasn't ashamed of having a boyfriend and also for Cas' benefit.

The fact it all went downhill so quickly just made it worse. They were actually having a good time. Gabriel and Balthazar were hilarious during their time at the dance and they won prom king and queen. How things had changed in just two days. Two days ago Gabriel was dancing, singing and laughing but now he was a wreck. Dean just wanted everything to go back to how it was before. He wanted them all to be both physically and mentally healthy again. He would do anything to make it a reality but that wasn't possible. All he had was hope and he was running out of that.

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"Dean texted me" Michael announced and everyone looked to him, eager to hear what Dean had said. "Hey, I can't come today. I don't feel good. Let me know how Cas and everyone else is. I'll see you all when I feel better" he read aloud, his face dropping as he read the text. He became worried about Dean. He hoped that he would be okay. "Should I tell him about Gabriel?" Michael asked, looking to his younger brother.

"Yeah, I guess. He would find out anyway" Gabriel shrugged before he turned the TV on in his room and began channel surfing. Michael nodded before he texted back saying 'I hope you feel better soon so you can see us all. Everyone's here, Alastair's here with us but we will explain that when we see you, it's complicated. Gabriel isn't so good, he ran out of hospital yesterday and ended up getting a concussion. We haven't seen Cas yet but when we do I will be sure to text you first. See you in a couple of days hopefully' he typed before hitting send. He looked over at the TV at which Gabriel continued to flick the channels.

"Why the hell is nothing on" he complained causing a snigger from Balthazar who was also staring intently at the television. He fell onto a channel and was about to turn it over when he heard a familiar name.

"-riah Novak. One of the boys supposedly involved in this incident was seen running out of the hospital in hysterics' the lady reported with a video of Gabriel running out of the hospital on screen. 'the reporters lost sight of him. But did manage to capture footage of police and nurses going after the boy who was later bought back to hospital in an ambulance looking in b-" she was cut off when the channel suddenly changed. Balthazar had grabbed the remote from Gabriel's lap and changed it, not wanting his brother to see news like that. He settled on a music channel before looking over at Gabriel who looked as if he was trying to comprehend what had just happened.

"Are you okay?" Balthazar asked but all of them were wondering the same thing. He forced a smile before nodding. His smile quickly faded as he looked down at his hands, fidgeting his hands. "Why can't they just leave people alone?" Balthazar asked rhetorically. Anger boiled inside of him and they could all see the rage in his eyes. "Why can't they just fuck off?" He continued.

"Balthazar, calm down" Michael tried, his voice cautious. He knew how his brother could be when he was angry. He lashed out but it sometimes wasn't the best solution.

"Why should I calm down!? They literally just exploited our brother! No, I'm going to kill them" he raged, heading for the door but Michael quickly blocked it, hopping to the door without his crutches. "Move" the younger Novak said simply.

"Sit down Balthazar, they aren't worth it. They will just put you on the news and if they see that they get a reaction more will just come and wait outside. If we leave them alone then they will go away because they will have nothing to stay for" Michael tried, Balthazar seemed to contemplate this but his defiant look soon returned. He pushed Michael out of the way before he stormed out of the room. Gabriel hopped up out of his bed, he was due to have pain killers any minute but at that moment his head was pounding. He ran out the room before Michael was even able to get his crutches. When he did he could see his brother at the end of the corridor. Gabriel held onto the wall for support, ensuring that he wouldn't fall but Balthazar was speeding ahead. He felt a hand on his shoulder which turned out to Alastair's. He supported Gabriel, allowing him to get to his brother quicker.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people!" Balthazar shouted as soon as he got outside. He saw them all lift their cameras causing him to become even more infuriated. "Why the fuck would you record my brother last night!?" He asked with no answers. He walked over to one of them and smashed his camera, the others recorded this. "Try taking pictures now you fucking sick assholes" he raged before he punched the same reporter.

"Balthazar!" Gabriel's voice sounded and the reporters immediately turned their cameras to him. Balthazar turned around and saw his brother barely able to stand up. He quickly went over to him to support him. Michael and Lucifer were both soon in sight. "Why did you do that?" He asked, Balthazar just seemed to search his brothers eyes to try and tell what he was feeling but he was unable to do so. He suddenly leaned forward more as if he was going to fall but Alastair caught him. "For the record" Gabriel began, talking to the reporters. "The fact that you exploit an ill seventeen year old is disgusting. You're all like forty year olds, go back to watching porn instead of teenagers having mental breakdowns, yeah?" He remarked before he went further into the hospital. He turned around to face a guard who looked beyond annoyed. He looked between Gabriel and Balthazar who both knew they were in trouble.

"Did you punch one of them!?" Michael gasped when he saw a reporter outside with a nose bleed. He looked to his brothers. Balthazar just simply nodded. "Shit" he muttered. He had always expected Lucifer to be the first one to punch a stranger but he was wrong. His second youngest brother was the one to have that honour. He glared at said brother until he saw Gabriel beside him who looked like he was about to pass out any minute. "Come on, you need your medicine" Michael sighed before he began to go back to their room. The security guard gave one last glare to the pair of Novak's before letting them pass. As soon as they were allowed past Alastair put his arm around Gabriel's waist to help steady him as he walked. Balthazar looked grateful for his gesture but still stayed beside his brother just in case he needed extra support. Lucifer was slightly ahead of them in his wheelchair but kept glancing back at them to ensure they were okay.

Balthazar was still angry. He tried to keep his cool under control but he just felt like he needed to release even more anger still. He clenched his fists as he walked trying to relieve some of the tension to no avail. They reached the room in which a nurse was already waiting for them to get back. Alastair helped Gabriel into bed who was pale as a ghost. He looked as if all of his blood had been drained. The nurse didn't say a word she just handed him the pills before she left the room in a hurry. Gabriel took them all one by one while his younger brother sat beside him with fury in his eyes. "I should have broke his nose" Balthazar vented, clenching into the sides of the recliner chair as hard as he could.

"You shouldn't have laid a hand in him. I can't believe you did that! You idiot!" Michael barked at him. Balthazar's face twisted so his expression was even more aggressive than before.

"Oh come off it Michael. Fuck you. You always have to act like Mr fucking perfect now don't you! Everyone's always in the wrong except you! Fuck sake!" He shouted, standing up and pacing around the room before he suddenly stopped and his whole demeanour seemed to change. "Why am I so stupid?" He asked to no one, not facing his family. He walked to a wall and leant his head against it as angry, hot tears escaped his eyes and burned his cheeks. He hit the wall with all the power he had left in him which, thankfully, wasn't much and therefore his hit barely made a dent in the wall.

"Apologise" Lucifer whispered to Michael who looked offended just at the thought of it.

"For what!? I didn't do anything!" His twin hissed in reply. Lucifer just glared at him threateningly. He didn't have the energy to be angry lately but he would show it if needed. Michael scoffed before he turned to look at his crying younger brother. Seeing him so upset seemed to help Michael calm down and control himself. "I'm sorry" he muttered. Balthazar looked over to him, red faced and tears still flowing. "Shit, I'm sorry" he apologised, this time more sincerely.

"It's not you" Balthazar told him, waving his hand. His voice made it sound as if he was being strangled as he struggled to talk through the lump in his throat. "I'm just so angry at everything" he admitted as more aggressive tears rolled down his face. "I'm angry that I can't do anything to make this better and look what I go and do. I just made it so much fucking worse" he admitted before he let out a strangled growl of frustration. "I'm so fucking sorry. All I wanted to do was make it better but I should have known I, of all people, wouldn't be able to make that happen" he continued his self loathing.

"I, for one, appreciate your effort" Gabriel spoke up, feeling slightly better after his medication. Balthazar snapped his head up to look at his brother and saw the sincerity in his face. "Don't beat yourself up about it, okay? Don't copy my example" Gabriel half joked. He didn't want any of them to end up suffering through any forms of mental health issues. "You were just angry, it's okay. Don't worry about it" Gabriel cracked a weak smile at his brother who managed to smile back as a few more tears escaped his eyes. He walked over to Gabriel, he seemed calmer than he had been since seeing the news report. He sat down on the bed. "See, crying helps to release your stress. You already seem less angry" Gabriel pointed out. Balthazar breathed a laugh at that. The fact that Gabriel was still able to make him laugh when he was hurting so much proved to him how strong his brother really was. Gabriel sat up slightly and shuffled forward. He hugged Balthazar who immediately clung to him. "Hey, I know I'm your prom queen but careful, I'm a bit banged up my king" he joked, trying to remind Balthazar how happy they were before the whole incident with Zach occurred. "My little prom king" he giggled, releasing his brother from the hug to see he had a small smile on his face and was wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Little? I'm taller than you!" Balthazar fought back jokingly.

"Yes but I'm older and I am bigger than you in the...package department" Gabriel teased with a eyebrow wiggle. Lucifer shouted out 'buuuuuuurn' causing them all to laugh.

"Says the dude with the micro penis" the younger of the two combatted as his complexion returned to its original shade rather than his face being red.

"That's not what she said" he quipped before Ellen walked into the room, interrupting the conversation. She had a serious look on her face.

"Balthazar, they know what you did and you're getting a caution from the police for assault. They sent me to do it since I'm here. You should count your blessings, thanks to your situation you don't need to get arrested for it and your reasons for it, while may be questionable, are understandable. Just, don't do it again" she told him. He just rolled his eyes. He could honestly say he didn't give a fuck, not even one. Those assholes deserved more than just one punch to the face. "Stay out of trouble and bond" she told them, her smile returning to her face before she left the room. They were all unphased. They had seen and been through worse tellings off than that. The door opened again but this time it was a nurse rather than a police officer.

"You boys are allowed to go and see Castiel now" Balthazar jumped up at that, happy he could see his brother. Michael grabbed his crutches eager to see Cas while Gabriel didn't make a move. His playful mood faded and as quickly replaced with one completely opposite to the one he was exhibiting just a few minutes ago. Lucifer noticed that his brother hadn't moved and became worried about Gabriel for the 300th time that day.

"I'll stay with him" Alastair assured the elder brother. Gabriel just felt as if they were treating him like a child. He didn't need to be monitored 24/7. He was seventeen years old.

"If you want to come just tell a nurse or something, they will help you" Lucifer advised with a small smile before he left the room. The nurse was holding the door open for him while Balthazar and Michael were already half way down the corridor. "Hey, you know when he's a little better can he get like...a therapist here without anyone else knowing. I will go with him but he doesn't want to tell them yet" he explained.

"How old are you?" She asked. Lucifer knew it was because he needed the consent of someone who was eighteen years of age or older. Another responsibility to add to his never ending list. Why couldn't he just gave been born a year later?

"I'm eighteen" He confirmed and the nurse smiled at him.

"Of course he can then, I've read his file and we were actually going to suggest therapy so if he wants it to be confidential its a good thing you told me in advance. As long as he doesn't get up too much he should be able to start in three or four days depending on his progress. Just keep him on bed rest and make sure he takes his pills. If he does then he should be okay to move around more in a few days" she told him. Lucifer gave her a half hearted smile in response before muttering his thanks and turning to make his way to Castiel's room.

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Dean felt something hit him. He opened his tired eyes and looked at what it was. It was his shoes as well as some clothes. He looked to his door to see Bobby standing there. "Come on boy, we're going out" Bobby told him matter of factly.

"I told you I'm not going to see Cas" he groaned in response. Bobby rolled his eyes and threw the blanket off Dean who, at this point, was looking extremely frustrated.

"Who said anything about Cas?" He questioned to which Dean just shot him a confused look. "We are going out to a field for fresh air. Sam's at school so we can go to pick him up after but you need to clear your head. Fresh air will do you good, now get dressed" Bobby told him before he left Dean's room, closing the door behind him. Dean ran a hand through his growing hair before he slowly forced himself to get dressed. He had absolutely no motivation to even move but getting fresh air did not seem like such a bad idea to him. He pulled on his shirt and left the room, ready to go.

They drove in silence for twenty minutes until they reached an empty field. Bobby exited the car after parking nearby with Dean not far behind him. He walked a few steps back from his 'Uncle' who didn't turn back, just carried on walking into the field. Dean looked down at the ground, kicking the stones which resided in the concrete path. The concrete turned to grass as the two entered the field. He shoved his hands into his pockets as the cold air hit his skin.

Bobby chose a spot in the recluse field and sat down, facing the opposite way in which they entered the field. He was facing a beautiful view of some of the city, many of the larger buildings visible from their stand point. Dean plopped himself down beside Bobby and stretched his legs in front of him. "I know you're not sick" Bobby stated, turning to look at Dean who was looking slightly guilty. "You could have just told me the reason, you know?" He asked to which Dean responded with a small nod. "It's perfectly normal to not want to see someone you love in that state and you don't need to pretend that you are okay with it" he continued, the words comforting Dean.

"It's just that his brothers are being so strong through this but I can't pull that off" Dean admitted. He felt as if anyone was going to be taking this bad it would be Cas' own siblings but it was him. He knew Gabriel was definitely showing how upset he was about it but he was fighting his own demons as well as trying to cope with the fact that Cas was hurt. Even though the incident did trigger his PTSD again he was still fighting it and trying to work through it. In Dean's opinion Gabriel was being so brave.

"Have you ever thought that maybe they aren't okay?" Bobby sighed, adjusting his worn out baseball cap. "These kids have been through so much crap and I don't even know the half of it. You probably don't know all of it, Dean. Just the sound of it makes you feel like shit, right?" He asked to which Dean nodded, agreeing with him. "Exactly so imagine having to experience it, they would have had to pretend they were okay when they were at school or out anywhere but really they were so hurt on the inside. They are used to pretending to be okay when they aren't. Three of them got hurt too and the other one has got a lot of stuff going on in his mind. None of them are okay Dean and if you did tell them that they would understand better than anyone" Bobby told him. He was actually making a lot of sense to Dean. While Dean was one for bottling up his feelings the Novak's would have had to do that on such a grand scale that it would become second nature to act like they are getting through the situation well even if they weren't.

"Thanks Bobby" Dean smiled, feeling so much more comfortable about his own emotions. He wanted to change the subject though, he didn't want to think too much about how much his boyfriend and his family had been through. "How's your love life then? Less messed up than mine I hope" he teased to which Bobby elbowed him lightly.

"It's...it's good" he told him almost dreamily. Dean noticed his distant gaze as he suddenly seemed so love struck at the mention of his love life.

"Oh my god, you're so whipped. What's her name? Can I meet her?" He asked excitedly. For the first time ever he saw a slight blush spread across Bobby's cheeks making Dean gasp slightly.

"Her name is Ellen...Ellen Harvelle. She's a-"

"She's a cop, right? I can't believe you're dating Ellen, that's crazy" Dean finished his sentence leaving Bobby extremely confused.

"How did you kn-"

"She's Jo's Mom, we used to be close when I was younger. We're still friends but just not as close as we used to be" Dean cut Bobby off again due to his excitement by this discovery. Bobby raised his eyebrows in mock annoyance at Dean cutting him off twice in a row. Dean noticed this but his smile didn't fade. "Sorry" he chirped just before his phone went off. He had received a text from Benny asking him if he, Cas and the other Novak's were okay. He was grateful for Benny's concern and texted back telling him that they were slowly coming to terms with it and that he himself was trying to look at the positives. While he was on his phone he decided to text Michael to see how things were going since it had been a few hours since they had last text.

_______________________________________________________

"...Gabriel wishes he could bring himself to come in here, but he can't. I know you would understand. Dean's sick too otherwise you know he would be here. We're all okay for the most part though. You can see for yourself when you wake up" Lucifer smiled, feeling hopeful. In the short 20 hours since they last saw Cas he looked much healthier. His face was slightly less pale and he had a noticeable pink tinge to his cheeks. Just these slight physical alterations made him look more alive than he did the day before.

There was a comfortable silence where they were all able to just think about their situation. This silence was short lived when the door opened and someone they had not expected to see for a while walked through the door. Lucifer felt his blood boil when he saw him. He just walked in as if nothing was wrong. "What?" Raphael asked, a evil smirk on his face.

"Get the fuck out, now" Lucifer warned him simply. Raphael made a shocked face and put his hand on his heart as he pretended to be offended. Just the gesture caused them all to become angry. Balthazar was biting the inside of his cheeks in order to stop himself from getting into trouble again.

"Well I already went to go and see our dear brother Gabriel so I thought I should drop by and see the rest of you. Cas is my brother too, I wanted to see if he was okay" Raphael told them, very unconvincingly.

"What did you say to Gabriel? I swear if yo-"

"Oh don't worry Luci, I just gave him a dose of the truth. You know what I'm talking about" Raphael smiled once again and Lucifer's eyes went wide. Gabriel couldn't know, he wasn't in the right mindset to know.

"What is he talking about?" Michael asked, ignoring Raphael and turning to his twin. Lucifer was, for one of the first times, lost for words. He tried to tell his twin he was sorry but the words were caught in his throat. He stuttered but he couldn't bring himself to tell his brothers that he had relapsed. They would be so disappointed. They would probably hate him for what he had done.

"Just the fact that he self harmed again" Raphael blurted out casually. Lucifer looked up from the ground and just wished he could stand up and beat him into a pulp but that wasn't an option. Not yet anyway.

"You...I told you not to tell anyone. What the fuck is wrong with you!? Why would you tell them?" He asked with a demanding tone. He knew Raphael was an asshole but this was a new low. He was purposely trying to hurt them all.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Michael muttered as Balthazar sat in his seat beside Cas clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Michael...I-I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you guys yet. I didn't want to hurt you even more especially...shit...Gabriel" he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You" he narrowed his eyes, facing Raphael. "Get the hell out, I'm not leaving you in here with Cas. I don't trust you one bit. We need to go and see Gabriel" he said, fearing the worst. He was so afraid of what Gabriel's reaction to the situation would be.

"Oh he was distraught. You better get to him, before he has one of those meltdowns again" at that Balthazar threw the chair he was sitting on at the wall and stormed over to Raphael. He grabbed his older brother and shoved him against the wall. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins despite him only being able to use one arm.

"If you don't get out of here in five seconds, I swear to you I will beat the living shit out of you. Don't you dare ever come near Gabriel or Cas or any of us ever again. Do you hear me!?" He shouted, his face just inches from Raphael's. If Balthazar was acting like this towards anyone else Lucifer or Michael would have intervened but Raphael deserved it and Lucifer was unable to do it himself in the wheelchair.

"I'd like to see you try, little brother" Raphael said, testing his brothers patience. Balthazar let go of Raphael's collar before quickly punching Raphael round the face. Blood spewed from his mouth and he hit Balthazar back but that didn't prevent the younger brother from kneeing Raphael where it hurts, straight in his manhood. He fell to the ground in a heap clutching where he had been kneed. Michael left the room to get a nurse. As a last precaution Balthazar kicked Raphael as hard as he could in his stomach. He felt such satisfaction from this that he did it again and again and again until he was stopped by the nurse who came into the room.

"Don't let him in here again. We don't want him near us" Balthazar told her as he wiped blood which fell from his lip before he ran out of the room towards the one which Gabriel was in with his older brothers behind him. He reached the room to see nurses rushing into the room and Alastair standing inside with a solemn look on his face. Ellen was beside him with a look of sympathy on her face. Balthazar looked between them before realising something was wrong, really wrong. He pushed his way into the room to see Gabriel being restrained with blood pouring from both of his arms. There was a smashed glass on the floor. The nurses worked on cleaning up his wounds and putting temporary bandages on them. The cuts looked to him as if they needed stitches. "Gabriel" Balthazar muttered before he rushed forward and held his brothers face with his available hand. Gabriel was unable to focus on him as he screamed for them to let him go. "Hey, look at me" Balthazar tried. As soon as their eyes met Gabriel burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he sobbed as Lucifer and Michael entered the room, their faces dropping at the scene before them there was blood everywhere, there was blotches all over the floor and on the bed. "I wanted to hurt myself for so long but I forced myself not to but...but then he told me and I...If Luci can't resist it why can I? How can I? I hate myself. I'm sorry" he cried, his arms still lightly restrained as he stopped fighting the nurses as much. Balthazar was still cupping his brothers face with his hand and bending down to be eye level with him.

"It's okay, we forgive you. You don't need to apologise, okay?" Balthazar told him, tears filled his blue eyes as he looked into those of his brother. He saw so much pain in them, more than there ever should be.

"He's getting sectioned again, isn't he?" Michael asked as a lump formed in his throat. The doctors and nurses all looked to him with the same expression before one simply nodded. Gabriel was being sent back. Michael bowed his head, nodding before he began to see his own tears hit the floor.

"He can get medical attention there but he has to go, tonight. They've already been alerted and the police officer outside called for another person to come and help her to drive him to the hospital. He has to go soon, we'll give you boys twenty minutes" one doctor said as he and everyone else besides the brothers filed out of the room. Gabriel's arms were released and slightly less bloody as when they got here. While the nurses held his arms they also tried to clean them up as best they could. Balthazar, already being near hugged his brother as tight as he could, he grasped onto him as if trying to make him stay. He didn't want him to go. Gabriel returned the hug, both brothers were crying.

"You'll be out before you know it" Balthazar told him wiping his eyes after pulling back slightly from hugging him. "You can call us, any of us whenever you need to. We will come and see you just...please...don't try anything stupid. Please Gabriel. I'm begging you. I couldn't...I don't know what I would do if you-" he choked. He was unable to get the words out. He couldn't say it but Gabriel knew what he meant.

"What happened to your face?" Gabriel asked, finally noticing the cut on his head with a trickle of blood which had dried on his brothers face.

"Raphael" he replied simply, still crying. "It doesn't matter. Just...stay out of trouble, okay?" Balthazar asked and Gabriel replied with a nod, tears still falling down his cheeks. They hugged again but soon pulled back. Balthazar forced himself to walk away towards the twins so they could also say bye to Gabriel. Michael went next, once he reached Gabriel he threw his crutches on the ground and wrapped his brother in his arms, he felt as if he was trying to protect and shield him from the world. He wished he could do that.

"You're going to be fine, you hear me? Make sure you do what they tell you and you will be okay. If you need us, any of us just call and we will be there, I promise you that. Take your medication and shit Gabriel get some god damn rest. Don't forget you have a concussion" Michael told him, tangling his fingers in his brothers long golden locks gently.

"Yes Mom" Gabriel joked despite his tears running down his cheeks and the emptiness that lived inside of him. Michael laughed at that as his salty tears fell into his brothers hair. Michael and Lucifer were alike in the fact that both of them didn't cry often. Gabriel didn't want that. He didn't want his brothers to cry for him, especially the twins. "I'm sorry I couldn't do better" he told Michael, his voice horse which just caused his elder brother to cry even more.

"Gabriel. Don't" Michael told him rocking his brother gently in his arms. "It's not your fault, no one blames you but yourself. Anyway..." he said, releasing his brother from the hug. "We'll see you soon, can't get rid of us that easy" Michael smiled and planted a chaste kiss on Gabriel's forehead. He too turned away from Gabriel just to see Balthazar sitting on the floor next to Lucifer as if he was trying to curl up next to him for some sort of comfort. When Lucifer moved forward Balthazar let out a small whimper but Michael immediately hopped over to where he was and sat down beside him. He swung his arm around his younger brothers shoulder who curled into the touch.

Lucifer was in an awkward position in his wheelchair, unable to reach out and hug his brother like the other two had done. As an alternative Lucifer took hold of his brothers hand and took a deep breath to compose himself before he spoke. "I'm gonna miss you while your gone" he told him, looking up into his brothers eyes. "But like they said we will come and see you just like we did before. Follow the rules, kiddo. Don't go causing trouble even though that's your thing" he chuckled lightly and Gabriel managed to break out in a small watery smile. "If you ever need help in there you can call us, if you can't then you go and speak to a doctor, got it? Do not let the thoughts consume you, you are so much better than that" He sighed, looking at his brothers hand trying to hold back tears as his vision became clouded.

"So are you" Gabriel muttered causing Lucifer to look up into his sorrow filled orbs of gold. "While I'm gone don't you dare go blaming yourself for this, okay? This isn't your fault. It's none of your faults. I was trying so hard to fight it but when Raphael told me I just...it hurt you know? I can't stand the thought that you would hurt yourself and I feel like I did something wrong and that I should have noticed. How couldn't I notice there was something wrong? I hate myself anyway, I felt like I should be punished. I'm sorry. I let you guys down" he explained.

"No. You didn't. We're proud of you for fighting it as much as you could but it just got too much for you and that's not your fault. There's no shame in that. This time in a few weeks you'll be back to your normal self" Lucifer assured him just as Ellen entered the room with another officer and Gabriel's eyes widened as he began to panic. His breathing became erratic and he began to shake slightly. He didn't want to go.

"It's time to go Gabriel" Ellen told him with a stern voice yet a solemn face. He looked to her with a nervous look gracing his features. His eyebrows were knitted together as he bit his lip.

"I don't want to go" he squeaked before tears burned against his cheeks. Ellen looked to all of the brothers individually as if telling them to intervene.

"You have to go, I promise we will come and see you whenever we can but being here isn't doing you any good. You need help Gabriel and you need to go and get your arms stitched up. I know you don't want to feel like this anymore and a few weeks in there will get you back to your old self. This is all to help you, okay? If we didn't think it would help you know we wouldn't be letting you go but you need to go. We will be here when you get out" Lucifer reassured him before Gabriel crouched down and hugged Lucifer who looked over his brothers shoulder to look to his other siblings. Michael had a blotchy red face with tear streaks marking his cheeks while Balthazar was leaning against the wall, biting his nails as tears fell down his face. Lucifer pulled back from the hug with Gabriel. "Time to go" he told him, placing his hand at the side of Gabriel's neck. Gabriel nodded slightly before he stood up and looked to Michael and Balthazar.

"See you soon guys" he choked, forcing a small smile before he walked over to Ellen and her partner. He took of a deep breath "let's go" he sighed before he was escorted out of the door. The sound of the door closing seemed to echo throughout the room. The blood of their brother was still scattered across the room and floor. They stood in silence for what seemed like hours but was only about two minutes.

"It's just us three for a while then" Michael acknowledged to which Balthazar let a small sob escape his lips before he turned away from the twins, placing his hand over his face as he tried to compose himself. "Balthazar, it's going to be al-"

"No! No it fucking won't Michael!" He shouted, turning to the twins. "Don't give me that shit. Everyone's gone! Mom and Anna are dead, Cas is in a coma and now Gabriel's been thrown in some mental hospital. It's not okay!" He barked as tears freely spilled down his cheeks. "And then, I see it now, you two are going to get so worried about Cas and Gabriel. I'm worried too but I...this is so selfish. I need you too, I need my brothers" he sobbed. "I need you guys, I need Gabriel, I need Cas and I need...I want Mom and Anna" he continued, completely breaking down in front of his brothers eyes. They had never seen him like this before. Balthazar was usually able to compose himself well like the twins but something had broken inside of him. "Please don't leave me. Please. I can't..." Michael cautiously limped over to Balthazar who was muttering something about everyone leaving him. Michael reached him and placed his hand on Balthazar's shoulder. Balthazar looked down at his hand and back to his brother. "Michael...please...please don't go...don't leave me alone...please" he begged, aggressive tears leaving his blue eyes.

"Hey, come on, me and Luci aren't going anywhere. I promise you that, we will always be here for you" he assured him.

"That's exactly what Anna told me" he cried before Michael just gave up and pulled his brother in for a hug. Balthazar clawed at his brothers back trying to cling to him while Lucifer watched on, stuck in his wheelchair and feeling helpless. He wanted to get up and help his brother but he couldn't. All he could do was watch and hope his twin could properly console him. "I want Mom" he muttered, sounding so child like.

"I know, I know you do and she wouldn't want you to hurt this much. I promise you we won't leave you. We would never leave you. Someone's got to make sure you don't get into trouble. We need you as much as you need us and that won't ever change, that goes for Gabriel and Cas too. You don't need to worry little brother, no matter if we fight or argue we will always be here for you" Michael soothed, stroking a hand through his younger brothers hair. Lucifer was impressed. Years of having to make sure that their siblings were okay and constantly acting like parental figures had paid off for the twins. They learnt it all from their mother and Anna. They could only thank them. His twin was such a Mom, he may tease him about it but in these situations his motherly tendencies were exactly what was needed. Lucifer broke out of his thoughts of admiration and looked at his brothers. Michael was still hugging Balthazar, shushing him and gently stroking his back.

"He's right you know" Lucifer interrupted and Balthazar slowly released Michael from the hug to look over at the other twin. The look in his eyes pierced into Lucifer and hurt him like a bitch but he couldn't show it. "We won't leave you. We would do anything for you guys and for each other. We are all we've got, we look out for each other no matter what. Nothing you say or do will change that" Lucifer reminded him and Balthazar shot him a glimpse of a smile. Michael checked his phone and saw he had a text from Dean a few hours ago. He had so much to update him on. He began to text back just as the door opened again.

"Michael, Lucifer I need to know about Alastair. I know you guys have had a rough day but I need to know" she asked, Alastair was nowhere in sight. The twins looked to each other and then to Balthazar. They knew they were thinking the same thing.

"We can't" Michael sighed. "We have way too much going on to worry about another vulnerable kid. We have to put our brothers first. I'm sorry. Tell him we're sorry too. We would but we just can't. Can you keep an eye on him for us? Make sure he's alright. We don't want him to hurt but our brothers are so hurt right now. We just can't" Michael apologised with regret. Lucifer nodded in agreement.

"I thought that would happen. I've grew fond of Alastair and I hate to see him in a care home so I told him he could stay with me. The kids been through enough already. Consider it a temporary home I guess" she informed them, a bright smile on her face.

"Thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you" Michael told her, so happy with the fact Alastair would be living in a real home environment.

"I'll tell you how, take care of your brothers, make sure they are okay as well as looking after each other. Speaking of your brothers Gabriel was a little upset when they took him into the hospital but I asked them when he could call you guys and they said tomorrow so expect a call from him" she smiled. "Also the nurse said to leave this room, blood everywhere isn't exactly hygienic" she told them.

"Yeah we will in a minute" Lucifer told her before she smiled, closing the door to go to her car where Alastair was waiting for her. She knew they couldn't deal with Alastair as well and so was already planning on telling them, if they did say yes, that she would take the pressure off by taking Alastair with her. The remaining Novak's got all of their things in the room before leaving to be greeted by a nurse who escorted them to their new room. It was another three bedroom room. When Lucifer questioned this she said that she thought Balthazar deserved a bed too after everything. They thanked her before getting settled into their new room without Gabriel. Michael texted Dean about the events of the day, leaving out that Balthazar had a breakdown. He knew his brother wouldn't appreciate him letting anyone else know any kind of 'weakness' about him. He just told Dean that Balthazar was really upset, nothing more, nothing less. They were all emotionally as well as physically exhausted yet none of them could sleep well. They were all worried about something which was nagging in their minds keeping them up. They all just hoped it would get better soon. Despite Lucifer's calm exterior he was unsure how much more of this he could take before he broke like Balthazar had.


	18. The Faceless Patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT. I HAVE HAD SUCH BAS WRITERS BLOCK AS WELL AS HAVING MY DEPRESSION FLARE UP. I WILL TRY TO NOT MAKE THE WAIT AS LONG NEXT TIME AROUND I AM SO SORRY. 
> 
> On another note I hope you enjoy the chapter

Chapter Eighteen: 

*Two Weeks Later* 

"Michael stay still" Lucifer told him, rolling his eyes as his twin continued to move as a nurse tried to remove the stitches from his foot. 

"It feels weird" he whined as the nurse proceeded to remove them, ignoring his complaints. Balthazar stood by Lucifer laughing at how dramatic Michael was being. "Shut up Balthazar" he sulked but Balthazar just laughed even more. Michael felt the sensation stop and sat up slightly. "Is it done?" He asked. 

"Yeah, all done. That wasn't so bad was it?" She chuckled before Michael swung his legs over the bed and slowly placed his feet on the floor. He stood from the bed. He felt a little discomfort but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. He finally didn't have to use those crutches anymore. Lucifer on the other hand was now on crutches rather than in his wheelchair. He had the stitches from one foot removed a few days before Michael while the stitches in his thigh needed another weeks healing time until they could be taken out. Balthazar, of course still had his cast on but didn't need a sling anymore. He was able to do more with his arm compared to when it was in a sling.

"Who's laughing now shit face?" Michael teased Lucifer who tried to hit him with his crutch but narrowly missed. He shot him an evil stare but Michael just laughed. "Can we go and see Cas before we see Gabriel?" Michael asked the nurse. 

"I don't see why not" she shrugged and Michael rushed out of the door, using his legs to his advantage. 

"Don't worry that will be you next week" the nurse told Lucifer with a warm smile. He nodded with a small laugh before Balthazar held the door open for him and they began to make their way down the corridor. They could see Michael in front of them who seemed to be enjoying the sensation of walking a little too much. 

"You think he gets a boner from that?" Balthazar asked Lucifer referring to him walking. Lucifer almost choked on nothing but his brothers words from laughing. 

"You guys are so slow, catch up" Michael winked but stopped to wait for them when he heard both of his brothers sigh with annoyance. They soon reached Cas' room, opening the door they saw a sight no brother wants to see. 

"Ew gross" Balthazar remarked with distaste as Dean and Cas pulled back from an extremely passionate kiss. "If I wanted to watch porn I would use the Internet" he clarified, as if anyone really wanted to know. Cas' cheeks turned red with embarrassment. Dean saw that and smiled.

"You're so cute" Dean acknowledged who was lying in the hospital bed with Cas before he kissed his cheek. Cas leaned his head on Dean's shoulder. His pain medication was making him a little tired. 

"This is soft core porn" Balthazar blurted out, ruining the moment once again. Cas just gave him the middle finger. 

"We're going to see Gabriel soon anyway so we won't stay for that long then you guys can get back to...that" Lucifer informed them, he didn't care about them kissing in front of them but they seemed way too caught up in the moment. "Don't have sex in hospital, a nurse could walk in at anytime. Wait till you're out" he advised awkwardly. 

"Oh and if you do use the condom I gave you from prom. Do you still have it Dean?" Michael asked and Dean just smiled knowingly. "Okay no you don't need to tell me I know from the look on your face, don't say anything" Michael told him, not wanting to know anything about his brothers sex life. 

"Wait! Cas, did you...aren't you a virgin anymore?" Balthazar asked, a little too excited. 

"Well the condoms gone, I do have a boyfriend, what else do you think we did with it?" Cas asked, a smile on his face. 

"Cas is a confirmed pimp" he gasped before he began to cheer. 

"Pervert" Lucifer remarked before Balthazar hit him in his arm. 

"Anyway...enough about that, I don't need my brothers to know these things about me. How did the nurses say Gabriel's doing?" Cas asked them and suddenly the atmosphere changed. Their sarcastic personas faded. While Cas had been getting better Gabriel hadn't been doing so well. Cas woke up just three days after Gabriel had been sectioned. Once Gabriel found out that he had woken up and he wasn't able to see him he had a complete meltdown at the hospital and became aggressive towards the staff when they tried to calm him down. They eventually had to give him sedatives to stop him from hurting himself or others further. Since then Gabriel was able to speak to Cas on the phone a few times to make sure he was alright but he wanted to see him. He wasn't ready to leave the hospital yet, not even for a few hours and so he refused to eat and drink which left the doctors with no choice but to put him on a drip as well as a feeding tube. He had recently come off that and was, according to the doctors, eating and drinking normally again. They told Cas about this who seemed optimistic. He was the only one who was though. 

"Speaking of Gabriel we have to go kiddo, want us to come back later or not?" Michael asked, already knowing the answer to that. He wanted alone time with Dean. 

"No it's okay, I'll call you guys if I need anything" Cas told them with a smile before they said their goodbyes and they left the room. As soon as the door closed Dean and Cas continued their make out session. "I love you" Cas muttered through kisses. 

"I love you too. So much. How often do the nurses come in to check on you?" Dean asked suggestively as he kissed and sucked at Cas' neck. 

"Every four hours" Cas told him. "The last time was an hour ago" he smiled before he began to pull at Dean's shirt. 

"Hey, keeping clothes on. Just in case we need to stop" Dean winked, forgetting Cas couldn't even see his wink anyway so the gesture was pointless. He lifted Cas' hospital gown up and began to nibble at his thighs. Cas pulled him up by his hair. 

"None of that foreplay shit. A quickie Dean. We can do it properly once I'm out but for now...settle with that if we do it again in here" Cas told him. 

"No complaints here" Dean laughed. He grabbed a condom from his bag on the floor. "Always prepared with a condom" he boasted ripping the packet with his teeth and quickly sliding the condom onto his member. "Ready?" He asked. Cas nodded eagerly in reply before Dean slid into him causing Cas to gasp in complete pleasure. 

_______________________________________________________

"Yeah, we're here to see Gabriel Novak" Michael told the receptionist while Lucifer and Balthazar hung back slightly. This would only be the second time they had seen him face to face since he had been here. The first was the week before when he had a feeding tube and drip. That hasn't exactly calmed any of their nerves, especially Balthazar's. They hadn't talked about his meltdown since it happened but it was always lingering at the back of all of their minds constantly. The twins never left him alone. His meltdown showed them he had a fear of abandonment and being alone wasn't what he needed. They hadn't told anyone about it, not Cas, not Gabriel and not Dean. It was like their secret. 

"You alright?" Lucifer asked the younger Novak who was unusually quiet. He stood, ringing his hands together and biting his lip nervously. 

"Yeah" he lied but Lucifer didn't question it. Balthazar was stubborn, there was no way he would admit he was scared or nervous. The only reason he did before was because he couldn't cope anymore. They had seen him have emotional breakdowns before but that one really hurt them. He had never spoke about any fears of losing everyone he cared about. The thought never crossed any of their minds since he hid his emotions so well but now the twins knew the fear was there they wouldn't let his fear become reality. 

"Right this way" the receptionist told them as they all began to follow her into the depths of the hospital. They reached the visitors room and sat down at the table, Gabriel wasn't there yet. "I'll go and get your brother" she told them before leaving them in the silent and cold room. Balthazar looked down at the fidgeting hands in his lap, Lucifer nudged Michael and tilted his head towards Balthazar. 

"Balthazar, are you okay?" He asked. Balthazar looked frustrated at that and looked up at his brothers. 

"I'm fine, stop asking me" he complained before going back to just looking at his lap. The twins shared a concerned look. "Don't even bother doing that" Balthazar blurted out. 

"Doing what?" Michael asked, confused. 

"That whole talking through your eyes twin thing. I don't know what it means but I can take a pretty good guess" he complained before rolling his eyes. Lucifer was about to speak up when the door opened. His eyes darted from Balthazar to the door. Gabriel walked in, his eyes had dark circles underneath them and he was slightly pale but he looked much better than he had the previous visit. 

"I'll be just outside" the nurse told them before she closed the door, leaving them to talk in private.

"Hey guys" Gabriel greeted, allowing a small smile to ease its way onto his lips. They all smiled back at him in Union, pleased to see him looking so much healthier. Gabriel sat down opposite his brothers and just looked between all of them. "I miss you guys" he admitted, a small smile still on his face. "How's our baby brother?" He asked, not wanting to talk too much about himself. He wanted to make sure his brothers were okay first. 

"He's much better, we keep walking in on him and Dean. It's not pretty" Lucifer told him. Michael nodded at that but Balthazar seemed distant. His eyes were blank, they didn't have their usual spark and Gabriel noticed. He looked over at his younger brother, making eye contact with him. 

"What's wrong?" He asked. As soon as he did Balthazar's eyes filled with tears but he tried to play off that he was okay. 

"Nothing" he lied, looking down to try and stop them from seeing his glazed eyes but it was too late. 

"Hey, do you need to go and get some air to clear your head or anything?" Michael asked, being careful not to say the wrong thing since Balthazar could get angry. 

"No, I'm fine" he told them before looking up again, this time his eyes landed on the deep scar which ran across Gabriel's arm. He looked at it for just a moment before he looked up to his brothers eyes. "How are you?" He asked, genuinely curious as well as wanting the attention off him. 

"I'm...Better. I just want to get out of here. Like, I want to go and see Cassie but mostly I just want to go home with all of you guys. I guess I just want us to all be okay again, well as okay as possible for this screwed up family. This years been so messed up" he sighed. When he thought about how much they had been through in just this year it didn't surprise him that he had ended up being sectioned again. He felt almost proud that he had lasted as long as he did without it. 

"Yeah, it has. It's been a real bad year but Zach's gone now, he can't hurt us" Michael reassured him, not wanting him to dwell too much on the events of this year. 

"That reminds me, how's Alastair?" Gabriel asked at the mention of Zach's name. 

"He's okay, Ellen is taking good care of him. He seems happier than he has been before" Lucifer informed him, his eyes too drifting down to Gabriel's arm where the deep scar had taken residence before quickly snapping them back up. 

Gabriel wasn't stupid. He noticed his brothers looking at his scars and so he did the same thing, looked down at his arms. He rubbed his thumb over the still slightly painful scar which would probably never fade. "I'm sorry, you know? I didn't think when I did this. Well I did but all I thought about was myself I didn't stop and think how you guys would feel and how me doing that would hurt you guys way more than it hurt me to make the cuts. I'm sorry and I want out of here. I want to go home with you guys and Cas to just try and get through this whole thing together. That's what we do best, right? Sticking together? I promise I will make it up to you, all of you including Cas. I'm just sorry and I'm going to get better for you guys. So that we can be a family again...minus that dick Raphael" he remarked with a roll of the eyes. He looked up at his brothers to gage their reactions. Michael and Lucifer were doing that twin thing where they had the exact same look on their faces. Hey we're both smiling widely with pride swelling in their eyes but his younger brother's reaction was completely different. He had his head downcast and was silently muttering something to himself. His lips were moving but no sound left his mouth. The twins saw the concerned look which appeared on Gabriel's face and looked at their younger brother too. The smiles wiped clean off their faces and were replaced with looks of worry. "Don't lie to me again little brother I know you're not okay. What's wrong?" Gabriel asked, taking charge of the situation. He felt responsible for the state his brothers were currently in. They were all worried about him and hurt by his actions. He had to make it right. 

"No one told you this but after you were taken away I had a panic attack melt down kind of thing" he admitted. If Gabriel was able to make such a speech just for an apology he felt as if he owed him some kind of explanation about why he was acting like he was. 

"What? How bad was it? Why the hell didn't you two tell me!?" He asked, looking over to the twins who were about to defend themselves but Balthazar chimed in. 

"I told them not to. I didn't want you to hurt anymore than you already were. It's not their fault" Balthazar told him but Gabriel still shot them a stern look. 

"What happened? I mean you seemed upset when I left but not on the verge of a breakdown" Gabriel asked, slightly confused despite him knowing that his younger brother could hide his emotions just as well as Lucifer could. They were such good actors if they wanted to be. 

"I...I was scared. I still am" He admitted, chewing his lip and tears pricked his eyes and stung as they begged to escape. 

"Scared of what? Please talk to me Balthazar" he pleaded, leaning forward slightly to where his brother was sitting. 

"The last words Anna ever said to me was that she would never leave me. She promised but..." He paused closing his eyes, trying so hard not to let a tear fall from his wet eyes. He opened them again before continuing. "I'm scared that you guys will get hurt or leave me or..." He took a deep breath. "Die...I know sometimes I'm such an asshole to you guys but if anything ever happened to any of you I don't know if I could cope. You're my brothers and I need all of you. I can't ever handle losing someone so close to me again. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Gabriel but it's just a stupid fear. You don't need to worry yourself with my stuff" he admitted as one tear managed to escape his left eye but he hastily wiped it away. 

Gabriel stood up before walking around the table, dragging his chair with him, to where Balthazar sat . He positioned the chair in front of him before sitting down opposite his brother. "Listen to me, you aren't stupid for that. Don't ever call yourself that. I will never leave you. As long as I am breathing I will be with you, hell even as a ghost I will haunt you" He joked and Balthazar laughed a little. "Anna said she would never leave you and she was right. She hasn't left you she's probably in this room right now with Mom. They wouldn't want to see you have these insecurities but I think I speak for everyone here when I tell you I won't leave you as long as I can help it and I won't let anyone hurt my little brothers or my older brothers. You don't need to worry about us leaving. We need you too. We all need each other" Gabriel assured him. Balthazar nodded at that and smiled slightly. His mood seemed to lift a tiny bit but it was noticeable. 

"Thank you Gabriel" He smiled before Gabriel reached his hand out to ruffle his brothers hair. 

"Love ya you little shit" Gabriel winked, his playful taunting causing Balthazar to laugh and his mood lifts even further. He didn't know why he hadn't told Gabriel earlier. Letting it out and seeing Gabriel's reaction had made him feel so much better. 

"Love you too you asshole" Balthazar responded, playing into the taunting. He hadn't acted like his since the prom night. This whole visit had done so much good for both brothers. 

"Aw our little brothers love each other ain't that cute?" Lucifer joked nudging his twin, the two younger brothers looking over at them. 

"So cute" Michael agreed, a smile spreading across his face. 

"Looks like you guys are feeling a little left out" Gabriel beamed before he stood up again but this time stood in between the twins. "There's enough Gabriel to go around" he joked before swinging his arms around each of their necks. "Love you shit heads as well" He added before he kissed Michael's cheek quickly.

"Lucifer didn't get a kiss because he's the evil twin" Balthazar broke in, a real smile gracing his features for the first time in weeks. Lucifer turned to Balthazar and swore at him. 

"I'm so offended" he said sarcastically, Gabriel still had his arms around the twins and winked at Lucifer. 

"You have stubble, Michael's cheek is as smooth as silk. I don't want to kiss your sand paper cheek" He joked and they all laughed at that. The old Gabriel was finally coming back and they were pretty sure him being here had helped him so much as well as being back on his medication. 

There was a knock on the door and the nurse walked in to see them all in a completely different state to what she had left them in. She was one of the main nurses who worked with Gabriel so she knew what he was like. "Time to say goodbye boys. I'm sorry" she informed them before Gabriel sadly let go of the twins to let them get up from the table. 

"We'll see you soon Gabriel" Michael smiled before Gabriel practically jump hugged him which he, out of all of the brothers, was still able to do due to him being so much shorter than the others. Michael stumbled back slightly but laughed at his brothers antics. He was so happy to see Gabriel like this again rather than so depressed like he had been. Gabriel jumped off him before he ran the short distance to Balthazar, colliding with him and bear hugging him. "Stay out of trouble until I get back" Gabriel told his younger brother. 

"Can't promise that" Balthazar retorted to which Gabriel laughed and released him. 

"you better stay out of trouble" Michael warned Balthazar half joking and half being serious. Gabriel looked over at Lucifer before he ran and jumped on him too, Lucifer dropped his crutches to the floor with the impact. Lucifer knew it was coming so wasn't as taken back as Michael was. Gabriel buried his face into Lucifer's neck only to lick it and quickly escape the hug before his brother was able to hit him. 

Lucifer put his hand to his neck to rub the saliva off. "Gabriel that is so gross" he complained while everyone else just laughed at him, even the nurse had a smile on her face. 

"You wanted a kiss, you got a lick. I hope you're satisfied" he teased before he hurried over to the nurse. "I'll see you later guys, don't miss me too much" he laughed before he left the room.

"You guys know the way out by now, don't you?" She asked referring to the fact that Gabriel had been in this hospital many times before. 

"Yeah, look after him okay?" Lucifer asked as he picked his crutches up. The nurse nodded with a reassuring smile before she left the room. The twins looked over at Balthazar who was smiling and not a fake smile this time. A real smile. "Feel better now?" Lucifer asked, already knowing the answer. 

"So much better" he told them. Michael put his arm around Balthazar before they all began to file out of the room to go home. 

As they walked out of the hospital and into the car park Michael received a phone call from Dean. He answered it, worried that something might be wrong. "Dean? What's going on is Cas alright?" He asked, panic clear in his voice. Lucifer and Balthazar watched his facial expressions trying to understand what was being said by Michael's reactions alone. His worry suddenly changed to shock. "What? Are you serious!? Oh my god!" He gasped before leaning up against a random persons car as if he was so taken back by what Dean had said that he couldn't stand up right. "Yes of course we would! Yeah we'll be right there!" Michael said, joy filling his voice now and hung up before pocketing his phone. 

"What's going on?" Lucifer asked. Michael looked up at them both with wide eyes and a smile on his face. 

"It's Cas. He's fine don't worry but the doctors said that they would be able to perform a surgery on him" he told them, not expanding on his point at all. 

"For what?" Balthazar asked, confused. 

"To give him his eye sight back" Michael told them and both brothers gasped the same way that Michael had. 

"What the hell are we waiting for then? Let's go!" Lucifer said before they all rushed to the car and sped away to the hospital. 

_______________________________________________________

"How much of a chance is there that it wouldn't work?" Cas asked as the doctor explained the procedure to him. 

"Around about 20%. There would be a 60% chance that your vision would be slightly impaired but glasses would be the solution for that problem and then a 20% chance of perfect vision with no glasses or any reminders that you were ever blind" the doctor explained which put a lot of Cas' fears aside. 

"What about risks, is there any? Like could I die?" He asked. 

"No, there's much less risk for this surgery as there was for the one you had when you first came here" he told the teenager. Cas smiled brightly. He couldn't believe it. All that had happened was that he was having a check up and the nurse just decided to ask about how he went blind. When she examined his eyes and bought the doctor back with her who also examined Cas' eyes and determined that the surgery could work for him. 

"I can't believe it" Cas sighed. Dean put his hand in Cas' and squeezed. He wasn't just happy for Cas but also for his brothers and himself. Cas hadn't seen his brothers since they were kids and Dean knew that Cas longed to be able to make eye contact with them and just see their reactions to things. Cas had always talked about how much he wanted to see Dean's beautiful face. If the surgery did work then Dean would be nervous for Cas to see him. What if he thought he was ugly? Or just not how he expected him to look. 

Suddenly a loud thump came from the direction of the door as Balthazar ran into it, with Michael not too far behind. They had abandoned Lucifer who was trying his hardest to run while on crutches. "Cassie!" Balthazar shouted with his arms up before going to stand beside Dean. "Bet you can't wait to see this sexy face again" Balthazar joked as Lucifer stormed into the room, annoyed at his brothers. Cas could sense the change in Balthazar's mood and was pleasantly surprised about the vibes he was giving off. 

"Gabriel's going to be so excited" Michael smiled as he looked down at Cas. 

"Is he okay?" Cas asked, changing the subject wanting to make sure his brother was getting better. 

"He's honestly great. He was being his usual annoying self. He was fine I think the visit did him some good" Michael reassured the youngest Novak. Cas smiled even wider at that. He couldn't wait until he was able to talk to Gabriel face to face again rather than just on the phone. He missed him so much. 

"So what's going on with this operation? How sure are you it will work? He won't get hurt will he?" Lucifer asked going into big brother mode. The doctor explained all the statistics as well as the low risk of complications which left all of them beaming. "So when can he have the op? How long after can he take the bandages off?" He asked. 

"We can do the operation in three days and he can have the bandages off around a week or two weeks later, it just depends on the person" the doctor explained. 

"Gabriel will be able to have supervised visits by them hopefully, if not we'll find a way to get him here for when you take the bandages off don't worry about that kiddo. We will all be here" Michael told him sounding extremely determined. He would ensure that Gabriel would not miss a moment like that because if he did he might go back into a downwards spiral and none of them wanted that. 

"Holy shit I will be able to watch TV again" Cas gasped at the sudden realisation as they all laughed. 

"Yeah you haven't seen your brothers faces in years and you've never seen your boyfriends but TV is what you're most excited about" Balthazar laughed despite him being half serious. 

"Shut up Balthazar you know I want to see you guys too, much more than a TV screen" he told him to which Balthazar just nodded even though Cas couldn't see him. 

"We'll call Gabriel's hospital in the morning to tell them so that Gabriel can find out. Wish I could see his reaction to that news" Lucifer smirked slightly. He knew Gabriel would have been ecstatic about this. 

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel sat in his room and writ in his diary. His therapist had told him that writing down his emotions briefly each day at different times and for different situations would help him to understand what triggers him to be happy or upset so that he could stay away from negative influences as well as gravitating towards the positive ones. In the morning he had wrote that he had felt tired, grumpy, a little sad and excited for seeing his brothers. His mood never changed for the day until he did see his family. He made a list on the page entitled 'During family time.' On the list he put the emotions in chronological order. Guilt, worried, upset, remorseful, worried (again about my brother), relief, happy, excited, hyper, sad (when I had to leave them). He wrote. His emotions there after were lonely and, despite it not being an emotion, he had writ 'missing my brothers' more than once. He locked the diary with the key his therapist had given him since he had told her he was afraid of anyone else seeing it. He put the diary under his pillow before he decided to just walk around before he showered and went to sleep. He got up from his bed and opened the door. 

As he walked down the nearly empty corridors in his blue outfit provided to him by the hospital he shoved his hands into his pockets. He heard commotion coming from the main area where patients were allowed to sit, play games and watch TV. He walked towards the room, not intending to stay in there but just see what was going on. When he did he saw two patients being restrained, one was in the corner, facing his way so Gabriel could see his face while the other had his back to Gabriel so he couldn't see who he was. The staff were shouting to the faceless patient about being put into isolation before they began to drag him towards there. They had to walk past Gabriel for this and when they did Gabriel saw his face but...no...it couldn't be. He lingered behind them cautious to not get caught so that he could just assure himself he was seeing things. They reached the doors of isolation as the patient shouted "Get the fuck off me!" Gabriel was sure that was his voice. He walked closer as the staff worked on unlocking the isolation door. 

"Raphael?" Gabriel asked as he approached. The patients head quickly turned, eyes filled with rage and a sadistic smirk on his face. When Gabriel saw those piercing eyes and the face of his slightly older brother he backed away. This couldn't be happening. 

"Gabriel, get to your room!" One of the doctors ordered him as they let go of Raphael's arm in which he managed to escape the other doctors grip to run and charge at Gabriel pining him to the ground. 

"Hello little brother" he smirked before he swiftly punched Gabriel in the face as hard as he could. Blood immediately spilled from Gabriel's nose. The doctors tried to pull him off him but he hit one of the doctors in the face too before going back to punching his brother. 

"We need help now. Raphael is going crazy. We're by isolation" a doctor spoke into a walkie talkie. 

"Get off me!" Gabriel tried to push him off but Raphael was a lot bigger, taller and stronger than Gabriel. Raphael shook his head and placed his hands firmly around Gabriel's neck. Gabriel began to choke as he gasped for breath but was unable to breathe. The doctors tried to unclasp Raphael's hands with failed attempts. "But...I'm...your bro...ther" Gabriel choked, trying to get his words out. 

"A shit one" Raphael remarked squeezing harder. Gabriel began to fade as doctors emerged to quickly give Raphael an injection to knock him out. Gabriel only just saw the needle enter Raphael's arm as he, himself, fell unconscious. He could feel the tightness in his neck fade as Raphael did. He could hear the muffled voices of the doctors. 

"They're brothers! And no one bothered to tell us!" Gabriel heard one doctor remark as he felt Raphael go limp on top of him but his weight was quickly removed as they dragged him into isolation. Gabriel coughed and felt a liquid pour from his mouth. He wondered whether it was blood or just saliva but he wasn't sure. He was too weak to open his eyes. 

"Let's get him to the hospital wing" one doctor said before he felt himself being lifted onto a bed and wheeled away. "We'll need to call his other brothers, the ones who were here earlier" the same doctor said as they came to a halt. Gabriel began to get flashbacks of his dad strangling him like that. He could see it in his mind. His brother had just attacked him in a way that felt way too familiar. His brother was turning into their father.


	19. One Way or Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> QUICK UPDATE YAY! I start back at college tommorow but I will still update but I wanted to get this chapter out before I went back. It's all leading up to something so this chapter isn't too dramatic but it's all building up to something. The next chapter will include Cas' surgery!

Chapter Nineteen: 

Michael woke up and wiped his eyes. He had got a lot more sleep than he had in such a long time. He fell asleep at 10pm which was a minor miracle for him. He sat up slightly before he grabbed his phone. He was calm and relaxed until he saw that he had fifteen missed calls, all from Gabriel's hospital. He began to panic as he frantically called them back, what the hell has happened to his brother!? After three rings someone picked up the phone. "Hello? I have fifteen missed calls off you guys. My brother goes there did something happen to him?" Michael asked barely giving the receptionist a moment to talk. 

"So you are Michael Novak then, am I right?" She asked and Michael was a little confused but just told her that he was. "First of all, you need to know that you have more than one brother in here" She informed him to which Michael got up to go and check that Lucifer was in his room.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he closed Lucifer's door and went to Balthazar's to see he too was in bed. It wasn't one of those two. It couldn't be Cas he was in a medical hospital not a mental hospital but then there was...oh god no. "Which brother?" Michael asked afraid of the answer. 

"You've got Gabriel in here, which you already know about, but Raphael Novak was sectioned yesterday morning" she told him to which Michael sighed deeply. He couldn't bare the thought of Gabriel being stuck in a place with Raphael. 

"Is this what the call was about, is Gabriel okay?" He asked. 

"Not exactly" she responded gravely. "Gabriel is in the hospital wing of our institution" she told him and Michael slid down to the ground outside Balthazar's door. He feared that Gabriel had hurt himself again. He couldn't have. He made so much progress. "Raphael beat him up pretty bad" she added to which Michael's fear turned into red hot rage. He felt a fire burn inside him. No one touches his family, not even his own brother. 

"What did he do to him?" Michael asked, a unfamiliar grit to his usually calm tone of voice. 

"He punched him and he strangled him for quite a long period of time. Gabriel even passed out from the strangulation but he's doing okay, he just keeps asking to see you three" she told him with sympathy in her voice. All of the workers at the institution knew about the Novak's lives since it was needed when talking to Gabriel so that they didn't hit a nerve or upset him. He was a pretty special case. 

"When can we come up?" Michael asked her, eager to just get there as soon as possible. 

"Whenever you're ready. I'll let him know you guys are coming up here, he'll be thrilled" she said to him and just the thought of his poor younger brother made the anger inside him water down slightly. "We look forward to seeing you all later" she said before ending the call. Just as she hung up Lucifer left his room and looked down at his distressed twin. 

"What's wrong?" He asked kneeling down next to Michael. When Michael didn't reply Lucifer cupped his twins face in his hands "what happened?" He repeated, getting really worried now. Michael didn't even want to tell him. Lucifer and Balthazar were both the angriest two out of all of his siblings. He knew that they would be pissed about this, not that he wasn't but they would take it up another level. 

"It's Gabriel" Michael told him. "He got beat up really bad at the hospital last night. He even got strangled and passed out. We're allowed to go and see him whenever we're ready. Apparently he's asking after us" Michael told his brother who already looked angry by this news. "And the worst part is we know the patient who did this to him" Michael continued, he looked into his brothers eyes. "Raphael, it was Raphael" he uttered. Michael closed his eyes, expecting to hear a bang on the wall as Lucifer punched it but he didn't. He opened them again and looked at Lucifer who looked furious but his fury was also mixed with sadness. 

"He was so happy yesterday and now that fucking dick has gone and ruined it. I swear I will kill him. I don't care how I will find him in that God damn hospital and I will kill him. No one touches my brother, no way" he asserted through gritted teeth before he stood "I'm going to get dressed, you should wake Balthazar and get dressed too so we can go and see him. I'll call Dean so he can tell Cas" Lucifer explained before he offered Michael a hand to help him up. Michael took it and stood. "He's going to be okay Mike, he's a soldier. We both know it. Go tell Balthazar, I don't know how he's going to take it though" Lucifer advised before he let go of Michael's hand and hopped to his room before closing the door to get dressed. Michael collected his thoughts before he went into Balthazar's room. He was still sleeping so Michael sat down at the edge of his brothers bed and began to shake him.

"Balthazar?" He asked as his eyes opened slightly. His brother looked slightly annoyed at his presence. "Hey, I'm sorry to wake you but we need to go and see Gabriel today" Michael told him and Balthazar looked confused at that. 

"Are you high? We saw him yesterday" Balthazar responded pulling the covers closer to him. 

"Yeah see thing is he's in the hospital part of the institution" Michael told him and Balthazar immediately bolted upright. "He got beat up really bad, he ended up passing out after he got strangled by...um...don't freak out okay but the patient who hurt him was...Raphael" Michael forced himself to say. 

"Raphael?" Balthazar asked, as if he was unsure he had even heard what Michael said. Lucifer walked into the room and kneeled by the bed. 

"Yes, Raphael. He's been a patient there since yesterday morning. They said he got sectioned" Michael confirmed to him. Balthazar looked between the twins as if this was some sort of sick joke but their expressions were completely serious. Without warning Balthazar flung the duvet off himself and stood before he began to throw things across the room. Michael quickly got up and nearly got hit with the flying lamp but narrowly avoided it. "Balthazar, stop. You don't need to do that" he told him. Balthazar looked up at him with his eyes blood shot and glazed. 

"I hate Raphael" he muttered. "How could he do this to him? What if Gabriel has to stay in there longer now because of this? He can't lose himself again, he can't. I can't watch him like that again" he continued, his voice becoming croaky as he held his tears back. 

"Try not to think about that. For all we know he could have handled this well and still be acting similar to how he did yesterday. Just get dressed and we can go and see him. If he is shaken up I give you both permission to beat the shit out of Raphael, deal?" Michael asked and both immediately agreed. "Okay, good. We'll leave you to get dressed Balthazar" he told him before leaving the room with Lucifer behind him, his crutches making a racket against the wooden floor. Michael closed the door behind them so that his brother could get dressed. Michael walked into his room to get dressed too while Lucifer called Dean. 

"Dean, when are you going to the hospital?" Lucifer asked him as soon as Dean picked up, sparing any greetings. 

"Probably after school, why?" Dean replied. Lucifer had almost completely forgotten that school even existed. The school had allowed them all time off after their traumatic experience and of course Gabriel and Cas were unable to attend anyway. 

"Because something's happened to Gabriel so we need to go up there meaning we can't let Cas know until after we see him" Lucifer sighed running a hand through his dark blonde hair. 

"What!? Is he okay? What happened?" Dean asked, sounding worried. Lucifer leant against the wall he was standing by before closing his eyes. He prayed that his brother would be able to get through this without it being a set back in his recovery time. They wanted him out of that place and back home where he belonged. "Lucifer? Are you there?" Dean's voice rang in his ear, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

"Yeah, sorry. So basically Raphael's in the same institution as Gabriel. He got thrown in there yesterday morning and late last night he beat the shit out of Gabriel. They said he punched him a lot and he...Uh...he strangled him until Gabriel passed out" he managed to croak out as his throat became tight. A sob begged to be released but he was able to contain himself. He refused to let his brothers see him have a breakdown. 

"Okay, I'm just gonna skip this lesson and go to see him. Just text me when you get there and tell me how he's holding up, Cas will want to know all the details" Dean insisted. Balthazar walked out of his room at that moment and looked over at his brother and saw the pain in his eyes which seemed to quickly vanish when he noticed that his younger brother was there. 

"Okay, thanks Dean" Lucifer said simply before hanging up and turning to his brother with a fake smile on his lips. Balthazar raised his eyebrow at that. Lucifer knew that Balthazar was the hardest of his siblings, along with Michael, to fool with his brave face. Michael was always able to tell if there was something wrong with his twin and vice versa while Balthazar was able to because of how similar they were. Both of them used the same techniques to hide their pain and Balthazar could see right through it. 

"You know you can't fool me" Balthazar reminded him. Lucifer was about to respond with a witty comeback when Michael left his room and walked past them both. 

"Come on you two!" He shouted to them as he began to walk down the stairs. Balthazar rolled his eyes before facing away from Lucifer to follow Michael. Lucifer was relieved at that and began to make his way down the stairs with his crutches. He eventually made it down the steps before getting into the back of the car. As soon as the door to the car was closed Michael proceeded to speed towards the institution.

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Raphael opened his eyes as he lay on the uncomfortable bed in isolation. He must have only had around two hours sleep. He thought about what he did to Gabriel and smiled. He felt a slight wave of guilt but the sensation of being in control was much greater than that. "Don't mess with me" he muttered to himself before standing up from the creaky bed and walking towards the wall. He scratched along the wall as hard as he could, writing the word 'dead' with his finger tip. It began to bleed slightly but that didn't bother him. He looked at the dark red blood with fascination as it began to drip from his finger onto the floor. As it dripped and made a small puddle he looked at it, it reminded him of his Mother. It reminded him of when he was sitting in his own Mother's blood all because his assholes of brothers couldn't get there on time. Gabriel didn't even go with them to try and help. That's how much of a good brother he was. Rage soared through Raphael's blood once again and he punched the wall, leaving a dent which he had to admit he was proud of. His knuckles bled onto the floor, making the puddle even larger. 

He traced his fingers over the puddle slightly before he quickly wiped them on his clothes and moving away from the puddle. It reminded him too much of his Mother. He would make sure they pay. All of his brothers would pay for what they did to his Mother once he got out of here. He didn't even belong here, he thought to himself. He didn't belong somewhere with crazy people, he wasn't crazy. He knew he wasn't. He just wanted revenge and he would stop at nothing to get it. They couldn't stop him.

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"I told you already! I want my brothers!" Gabriel sobbed as the doctors tried to keep him calm. They had told him that they were coming but he felt as if he had been waiting for hours. Despite knowing that three of his brothers were coming he knew that one of them would be missing which hurt him more than any blow Raphael delivered to him the night before. 

"Gabriel you need to compose yourself, they are coming. The receptionist spoke to your brother Michael on the phone. She even said how worried he seemed don't worry they will be here soon" the doctor tried as tears spilled from the seventeen year olds eyes. "Come on, lay down now" she tried but Gabriel refused. 

"I don't need to lay down what I need is to see them!" He countered as the tears burned his cheeks. Other people would probably believe that Gabriel hadn't taken his medication but he had, including his anti depressants. He just felt so alone and like he needed his brothers. He always needed them but he was feeling especially vulnerable. 

"Gabriel!" Someone shouted from the other side of the room. His eyes darted to the sound as he saw Balthazar rushing into the room with the twins behind him. Gabriel stood up from the bed and barged past the doctor before he collided with his younger brother who hugged him protectively as soon as he saw the state of him as well as the angry tears falling down his cheeks. "We will kill him for this" Balthazar uttered to him before releasing him from the hug and just looking at the state he was in. Parts of his face were swollen with a black eye accompanied by other bruises around his face. The worst was the bruises left on his neck. The handprints covering his neck were a deep purple colour which just suggested how much force Raphael put into strangling him. 

Michael gasped as soon as he saw that. He knew Gabriel had passed out while he was being strangled but just the sheer appearance of the marks had hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew how Raphael could be but he never expected him to do anything like that to his own brother. "Where the fuck is he?" Lucifer asked, an angry tone to his voice as he turned to the doctor who was monitoring Gabriel. 

"Who?" He asked which just angered Lucifer even more. 

"Raphael, where is he?" He asked again, becoming increasingly frustrated the longer he had to spend in here rather than beating the hell out of Raphael. 

"After the incident I believe he was taken to isolation to cool d-" he didn't even get to finish his sentence before Lucifer turned away, leaving the hospital wing as quickly as he could on crutches. He was so determined. He wouldn't let him get away with it, not this time. He didn't stop despite a few nurses and doctors trying to call after him until he saw a door with the word 'isolation' written above it. He made his way towards the door just to find that it was locked and a key was needed to open the door. He smashed his crutch into the door but it didn't move an inch. 

Just a few moments after he did this a doctor opened the door, confused. "Can I help you?" He asked, confused. He clearly wasn't a patient since he wasn't wearing the attire which was provided by the institution if you were a patient. 

"Is Raphael Novak in here?" Lucifer asked simply, trying to hide is anger. 

"And you are?" He asked once again, crossing his arms. 

"Lucifer Novak, I'm his brother" he responded. He tried to just go past the doctor but he blocked him. "Raphael!" He shouted past the doctor. 

Raphael heard his name being called in a voice he knew too well. He knew Lucifer would be the one to try and find him. "Come get me then, Luci! I dare you! Once I get out of here I'm only going to hurt Gabriel more!" He shouted back, purposely angering his older brother and it certainly worked. Lucifer used his crutch to swipe the doctors legs, sending him pummelling to the ground before taking the key card around his neck. He looked in each room until he reached the one with a familiar face. He unlocked it, not even looking back to see if the doctor was okay. He opened the door, threw his crutches to the ground and grabbed his brother. He stood on his leg despite the pain it was causing him. His brother needed to feel what Gabriel felt. "Hi big brother" Raphael smiled as he was shoved against the wall. Lucifer punched him as hard as he could in the face, repeatedly hitting him with all the strength he had. 

"Don't you ever touch him again or it will be the last thing you ever do, do you fucking understand me!? Don't even look at him or go near him. I will fucking kill you!" Lucifer shouted in his face as he raged. Raphael was bleeding and looked as if he was going to fall to the floor but instead surprised Lucifer with a head but. He wouldn't stand for that. Lucifer placed one hand around Raphael's neck and squeezed. "How does it feel, huh!?" He asked, only keeping his grip on his neck for a few seconds before letting him go. Raphael dropped to the floor coughing and spluttering as he regained his breath. Lucifer drew his fist back to punch the boy again. 

"Lucifer!" Michael's voice sounded from the door before he ran into the room and held his fist back from pummelling into Raphael's face once again. "I think he gets it, come on. Just leave it, he got what he deserved just leave it now" he tried. Lucifer forced himself to turn away from Raphael to face Michael. Worry was etched across his features. "Gabriel needs you more than Raphael needs to be taught a lesson, yeah? He's more important" Michael reminded him. Lucifer nodded in agreement. 

The twins were so caught up in their conversation they didn't notice Raphael, he was slightly shuffling across the floor and towards one of Lucifer's crutches. He grabbed hold of one before he got up onto his knees and swung the crutch straight against Michael's back. He gasped as soon as he felt the strong force wind him and fell forward slightly into his twin. "No ones more important than me" Raphael smirked before he stood up with the crutch still in his hand. Michael stood back up right without the help of Lucifer and walked forward slightly. 

"What happened to you?" He asked. He had never seen Raphael so riled up except for when he was at the hospital two weeks ago. "This isn't you, sure you're a douche but you aren't violent. Not like this" He continued as Lucifer tried to force him to step back but instead he kept taking steps forward. He reached Raphael who looked as if he had realised he had gone too far. Michael trusted that expression but Lucifer didn't, not one bit. 

"You clearly don't know me at all then, brother" he uttered before he swung the crutch again, this time it hit Michael across the face. Blood spluttered from his mouth before he fell to the ground. Just before he was about to try to attack Lucifer a flood of doctors entered the room and gave Raphael a sedative. He soon fell to the ground along side Michael. Lucifer stumbled over to his twin who looked as if he was unconscious. 

"Michael?" He asked, as he reached him and put his hand on his brothers shoulder. His eyes fluttered slightly and a small smile played on his lips. 

"I'm okay" he mumbled despite the blood which was still dancing on his taste buds and dripping down his face. A purple bruise was already beginning to form on the side of his face. 

"Don't ever do that again" Lucifer ordered as he helped Michael sit up. He looked up at the doctors and saw the one he had hurt to get in looming over him. "I'm sorry" he admitted awkwardly as he tried to support Michael. 

"We need to talk about him. There was a reason why we didn't want you in here with him" the doctor simply replied before he offered both of his hands to the boys. Michael grabbed one while Lucifer grabbed the other. He helped them stand. Michael felt really lightheaded as he did stand. He nearly fell but Lucifer grabbed onto his arm to help him stay standing. "We can get him a wheelchair if you need one" the doctor suggested. 

"No" Michael replied. 

"Yes" Lucifer said at the same time as Michael. "I can't keep him standing I can barely stand myself" he told the doctor pointing to the crutches on the floor. 

"Wait outside the room and I'll get one" he told them before leaving the room. Lucifer let go of Michael's arm for a moment as he picked up the crutches and slid them outside the door so they were easily accessible when they were going to have this talk. Once he did he quickly grabbed onto Michael's arm once again, ensuring that he didn't fall or hurt himself further. They walked outside the room to wait for the doctor.

Out in the corridor the light shone through the windows rather than in the isolation room where the windows were covered. Lucifer could see the injuries to Michael's face better in this lighting. "Jeeze" he mumbled as he examined them. "This is why you should leave fighting to me and Balthazar" he laughed a little, trying to find humour in the situation. Despite having similarities Michael definitely wasn't a fighter. He was physically stronger than Lucifer but he always tried to diffuse situations in a calm manner and when he did actually fight he usually held back in fear of hurting people. Gabriel wasn't able to fight usually due to him simply being shorter than most other guys. He was able to punch but if no one was there to intervene or help he would often end up getting hurt. Cas couldn't fight for obvious reasons but even if he wasn't blind Lucifer doubted he would want to fight anyone. He had a gentle nature to him unlike a Lucifer and Balthazar. They only had soft spots for their brothers but they never properly fought them anyway. "Where even is Balthazar? I would have thought he would want to be in on the action" Lucifer asked, realising he hadn't showed up. 

"He's with Gabriel. He was the one who told me to come after you. He said our so called twin bond would snap you out of beating Raphael to death" he replied with a laugh. 

"Well he wasn't wrong. But now you had to go and get hit in the face didn't you?" He teased as the bruise on his face slowly became an even deeper purple colour. The doctor came back with not just a wheelchair but also some antiseptic wipes. Once Michael sat in the chair he used the wipes to clean up the dried blood on the boys face. He also looked at Michael's back which had a long purple bruise forming on it. Lucifer held his tongue but the injuries looked painful. It was just another reason for him to hate Raphael. Once the doctor was done with Michael he stood up, insisting that he was fine. Although both the doctor and Lucifer were unconvinced they allowed him to just walk on his own. 

"I will take you back to the hospital wing, there I can tell you all about what's going on with Raphael and why he's there, ready to go? He asked to which twins nodded. They wanted to know what the hell has happened to Raphael. 

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"Has Michael texted you yet?" Cas asked anxiously after Dean had told him about the incident with Gabriel and Raphael. The others had told him briefly about what had happened when Gabriel was sectioned again but they didn't give him the full story. It wasn't like Dean could tell him either since he wasn't there when it occurred. It frustrated him that they wouldn't tell him the whole truth, did they think he was too weak to know? 

"Not yet, he's probably acting like a Mom and got distracted. You know what he's like" Dean said with a small laugh but he thought there was a possibility that something had happened. Dean had no doubt in his mind that they wouldn't just let Raphael hurt Gabriel like that without at least arguing with him first. Dean didn't need to tell Cas this because he knew he already thought it. Cas knew what his brothers were like. They would stop at nothing to protect each other. 

They had seemed a little distant from him lately but he understood why. He was doing well while Gabriel just kept having set backs. He didn't mind that they were much more worried about Gabriel because he was worried too. He just wished he was allowed to visit his brother. It felt like he hadn't seen him for months despite it being just two weeks. All of the other times Gabriel had been sectioned Cas was able to go and visit him but just not this time due to being confined to the hospital bed. He had no doubt in his mind that if Gabriel was okay then his brothers would be at the hospital more often but Gabriel needed them more than he did. He was broke out of his thoughts when he felt Dean grab his hand and squeeze it gently. "Don't worry" he soothed, the smile evident in his voice. Cas smiled back a little but he couldn't not worry about Gabriel. He was sensitive and fragile compared to his other brothers. 

"I just want to visit him" Cas admitted and Dean stood up to shuffle towards the head of the bed. He used his free hand to stroke the hair out of his boyfriends face before he kissed his temple. 

"He's going to be okay, when he's allowed to leave with supervision you know the first place he will go to is here" Dean reminded him. Cas knew he was right. When he spoke to Gabriel on the phone he had told him that all of his visits when he is allowed them would be there. Rather than going somewhere he might actually enjoy he told his youngest brother that he would spend them all with him. 

Cas wasn't just worried about Gabriel, though. As soon as he woke up and was able to comprehend what was happening around him he sensed a difference in his brothers. He sensed an uneasy atmosphere surrounding each of them. He could tell they were trying to stay strong but that was much easier said than done. All of them were both physically and mentally hurt and trying to keep everyone together including themselves. He suddenly heard the sound of Dean's phone. "Is that Michael?" He asked, wanting to make sure Gabriel was okay. 

"No, it's Luci" he replied before he opened the text and read it to himself first. 

"What does it say?" Cas asked, not liking the short but uneasy silence. 

"Um...He says that Gabriel is pretty emotional and quite badly beaten up" he responded as Cas' worries increased just with that. "Then that he went to go and beat Raphael and he got some good punches in" he laughed, Cas laughed too. That made him feel better. He knew he could trust Lucifer to get Raphael back. "But Michael came in and he got hurt after Raphael hit him with Luci's crutches. Apparently he's hurt but he can manage. He just said that he will explain more soon" Dean told Cas who looked pretty mad. He couldn't deal with the fact that Raphael had hurt two of his brothers now. They were the two who were least likely to fight back too. Cas envisioned that if he did have his sight he could at least try and defend his brothers when they did get into fights. He wasn't sure how that would work out though since the last fight he had got into where he was actually able to fight back, was when he was ten against an eleven year old Balthazar. Which, back then, was a pretty even fight but their Father had caught them fighting and so, of course, he had to beat them up for it to show he was stronger than both of them. 

"Did you know that when I went blind Michael nearly got choked trying to save me?" Cas asked Dean, looking over in his general direction. Dean was taken back by this but also impressed. Cas had never spoke to him about the incident which caused him to go blind. He had always been interested to know exactly what happened but he didn't want to be insensitive so he just never asked. 

"No, I didn't know that. How old would he have been then? Thirteen, right?" Dean asked. He wanted to try and engage with Cas as much as possible on this sensitive subject. 

"Yeah, he was trying to break the door down to get to me with Lucifer and when my Dad was done with me he turned to them" he explained. The more he thought about it the more he appreciated his siblings. They were so brave even from such a young age. "Then when he was strangling Michael, Anna hit our Dad over the head with a glass bottle to get him off him" he continued. Although he wasn't conscious when this happened their mother had been sure to tell Cas all about his siblings heroics while he was in hospital. 

"How old was she then? I know she was the oldest but how much older?" Dean questioned. Cas had never really spoken to him about Anna much either even though it was clear he cared for her dearly when she was alive. 

"She was sixteen. Three years older than Michael and Lucifer" Cas told him with a small smile on his lips. "You know, when my Dad made me blind I still remember the last thing I ever saw" he admitted and Dean tilted his head slightly, intrigued. "The last thing I saw was my Dad's face. He was so angry and my blood covered him after that it was just all red until I woke up in hospital, then everything was black. It's just been that way ever since. I've never even seen what Raphael looks like" Cas told him, not that he was that interested in ever seeing his half brother. He hated him for what he had done to Gabriel. It seemed as if he was targeting him when Cas thought about it. First of all, he purposely told him about Lucifer knowing it would break him and now this. He didn't understand why Raphael had taken a particular dislike to Gabriel and why he was even in the institution at all. 

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Balthazar was trying to calm Gabriel down by telling him he was sure the twins were okay despite him not believing it himself. Suddenly Gabriel gasped, Balthazar looked over to where Gabriel was staring at to see the twins with a doctor but Michael was looking pretty banged up. Gabriel got up out of his bed, Balthazar following him as they approached them. "I'm fine" Michael insisted as they approached and saw the worried looks on their faces. They both looked to Lucifer who also looked unconvinced but he wasn't going to say anything about it. Michael was the type of person who would rather suffer in silence rather than bother other people with his pains, both physical and emotional. "Luci got him good though, if that counts for anything" Michael smiled, looking over at him. 

"Yeah but then you had to go and get hurt, you killed my fighting mood" Lucifer teased, deciding not to try and make his twin admit he was actually in pain. "I was surprised it was you and not Balthazar. Well done kiddo for not getting involved" Lucifer praised, legitimately impressed that Balthazar hadn't showed up and killed Raphael. 

"Oh trust me I wanted to but my prom queen needed me" he laughed, Gabriel smiled a little, the only sparkle of happiness he had shown since they had been there. 

"Don't flatter yourself" Gabriel whined with a roll of his eyes before walking back to the hospital bed to lie down. They all followed behind him before each taking a seat around his bed, including the doctor. "You here to check up on me or something?" Gabriel asked, eyeing the doctor up. 

"No I came to tell you boys about Raphael and why you need to stay away from him. He's a danger to himself and others and between us, he can't be trusted with the conditions he has" he explained, they were all listening intently. 

"And which conditions are they?" Balthazar asked, he didn't intend to stay away from Raphael no matter what he had. He would make sure he would get a chance to beat him up just as Lucifer had done but just without interruption from Michael. 

"He has a dangerous combination of disorders. He has an antisocial personality disorder. People with this are often referred to as sociopaths. It means that he doesn't care whether he is in the right or the wrong about things. He will persistently lie, manipulate and hurt others with a disregard for their feelings" he explained.

"Sounds like him" Gabriel snorted and the others looked at him with annoyed expressions. "What? It does!" He insisted. He was right. Gabriel thought that the condition just sounded eerily similar to their father as well. The description fit both Raphael and his father perfectly. 

"The other disorder is called IED which stands for intermittent explosive disorder. This is pretty self explanatory. It causes the patient to have extremely violent and angry outbursts with sometimes no warning that they will hurt someone. While he is having an outburst he won't stop or consider the feelings of the person he's hurting. When you attacked him he was caught off guard" the doctor explained, referring to Lucifer. "He wasn't in the middle of an outburst but when he saw Gabriel his outburst was in full swing. He already clearly has a bad history with you four and so by seeing Gabriel that probably made him even more aggressive" he continued. 

"Well how the hell am I supposed to stay here if I constantly have to watch out to make sure he's not around so that he doesn't attack me again!? And why he hell does he even hate me so much it's his god damn fault I even ended up here" he mumbled, still extremely pissed at him for telling him about Lucifer when he was in such a state. Of course he would have wanted to know about Lucifer relapsing but with the way he was two weeks ago he wasn't ready to be told that information. 

"We can control him. Just don't worry" the doctor told him but Gabriel scoffed. He wasn't about to stand for their shit. 

"Of course you can, just like when he nearly killed me yesterday. No one could get him off me but I guess that's what control looks like, right?" He asked narrowing his eyes at the doctor. He didn't understand how he could just lie to his face like that. They had no control over Raphael and Gabriel knew it. 

"He's being moved to a different section of the hospital. One of more high risk patients. We can't keep him around our vulnerable patients such as yourself" he told them to which Gabriel felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

"Good, make sure he never goes near him again" Lucifer said, a warning tone to his voice. If he hurt Gabriel again or was able to get to him he would make sure that the doctors never heard the last of it. 

"Don't worry, our institution is very secure" he assured him. Lucifer nodded despite his doubts. He couldn't trust a word anyone said unless it was coming out of his brothers mouths, besides Raphael, but even then he wasn't sure. They would lie about how they were feeling constantly telling him they were fine when really they were so hurt. It wasn't like he could complain about them doing this either since he was also guilty of this. They were all way too emotionally exhausted to have to put up with so much. "I'll leave you boys to talk" he said before he walked away from them, leaving the hospital wing. 

"Why is this family so fucked up?" Gabriel asked, rolling his eyes as he sunk into the hospital bed. He felt as if they couldn't seem to catch a break. If it wasn't their Dad trying to hurt them it was Zachariah, if it wasn't him then he used his son to hurt them and then if it wasn't Alastair it was Raphael. It felt like everyone was against them with no reason to even come after them. 

"Maybe we should help him" Michael uttered as he sat looking in deep thought. 

"What!?" No way! Look what he did to Gabriel! To you!" Lucifer argued back. There was no way he was allowing any of his brothers to see Raphael. He wasn't about to give them a free pass just to get hurt. 

"He's sick Luci" Michael breathed. After what the doctor had told them he felt like he couldn't just leave his own brother like that without at least trying to help. "He's got mental health problems and we all know that's probably not just down to shitty genetics. Would you just leave me if I had what he had? Or Balthazar? Or Gabriel? Or Cas?" He countered. "He's our brother too, there's six of us left, not five. We already lost one sibling do we really want to lose another one?" He asked. 

"Michael don't. He might be related to us but that doesn't make him family. What good has he ever done for any of us? Just remember when Cas came out, he still doesn't accept him! He is not our brother no matter how much you think he is" Balthazar butted in, not agreeing with Michael either. 

"He's right. Raphael isn't our brother, okay? Of course if one of you had something wrong with you like that I wouldn't just leave you but he isn't one of us. He's an asshole. Don't let the fact that we just happen to be blood related make you want to help him after everything he's done to us. We tried to save him from Zach and how did he repay us? By blaming us for his Mom dying. He's not worth our time" Lucifer ranted. He had to make his twin see what a bad decision it would be to associate with Raphael. He was their brother but he wasn't much of one. Raphael was a terrible person who didn't care at all about any of them so why should they care about him anymore?

Michael thought about this but he couldn't help the urge to try and help Raphael. He imagined if they had just left Gabriel with his mental health problems to let him fend for himself. That wouldn't have done him any good so what makes them think that would help Raphael? Both of his parents were dead, just like them and he had no one else. He didn't want to sit back and just watch as his brother descended into a downwards spiral. He couldn't just forget about him or pretend he didn't know about his problems because he felt responsible for him. "He's not worth it Michael" Gabriel broke in, interrupting his trail of thought. He gave up and just nodded at them, agreeing but that didn't stop the thoughts racing around in his head. He didn't know what to do. If he did nothing then he would hate himself but if he did something then his brothers would hate him. He was conflicted. 

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Raphael felt groggy as he woke up from his drug induced sleep. He sat up slightly and looked at the wall where there were still small splashes of blood staining the paint. They were small and you probably wouldn't notice them if you weren't looking for them, but he was. He wanted to see the blood which had spilt in his isolation room. As he looked at the wall he remembered all of the doctors who had rushed into the room. He remembered that as they sedated him he had reached into one of their pockets and grabbed a key. He didn't know if it was even the right key but he distinctly remembered grabbing it during all of the commotion. He put his hand into his pocket and felt something in there. He pulled it out to discover it was a key. He looked out of the small peep hole in his door to make sure no one was there before he slid the key into the lock and turned it. He heard the sound of the door unlocking. He pushed the handle down and, to his amazement, the door did in fact unlock. He stepped out into the empty isolation corridor with a smirk on his lips. He knew where to get out without being detected. He looked over at the fire door which resided at the end of the long corridor. While this had an alarm on it so that if someone did open the door it would go off, it couldn't go off if he broke the alarm. It was placed above the door, he reached up to it before he began to punch the alarm repeatedly until all of its parts fell to the floor, there was no way it was functioning now. He pushed the door open just as a doctor entered the corridor. "Raphael!" He shouted, running down the corridor but Raphael ran out as quick as he could, he wouldn't stop for anyone or anything. He heard the doctor running behind him while calling for help, alarming the others to what had happened but he didn't stop. He sprinted as quickly as he possibly could. He knew he could get away. He knew he was better than them and he knew he would get his sweet, sweet revenge on his brothers when the time was right. He looked behind him, this time seeing no one but he kept running, he knew they could appear anywhere at any time. 

He kept running until he reached the abandoned house he had been staying at before he was placed into the institute. It wasn't just him there. Other teenagers who were on the run or had run away lived there too. They were his family. Not the Novak's. They would never find him here. The only reason he was caught before was because he got arrested due to being in a fight. When they did a mental health assessment at the police station they realised that he was mentally ill and so called the nearest institution which just so happened to be exactly the same one Gabriel was staying at. Once he arrived back at the house everyone was happy to see him back, laughing at the clothes he was forced to wear in there. Some of them telling him about when they were in the same place. He didn't listen much though. He just had one thing on his mind, revenge and he would stop at nothing until justice was served.


	20. He's In My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. College has been ruling my life again. In the next chapter it's going to be a. Few days before Cas gets his bandages off! In the mean time enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Twenty:

_As he hid with his brother he heard the stairs creak beneath their fathers feet as he climbed the stairs. He was drunk and had lashed out after seeing the two of them playing with a tennis ball in the house. They were just throwing it to each other but according to their father that was a crime. The twins were both only six years old as they began to panic the closer the footsteps got. "Get out here boys!' Their fathers deep and frightening voice shouted as he reached the top of the stairs. He began to hyperventilate due to the amount of fear running through his body. His twin covered his mouth to stop him from giving away their hiding place. The footsteps seemed to echo as they grew closer and closer. They were both scared to death._

_Suddenly the footsteps came to a halt. They looked at each other as they sat curled up in the dark cupboard. There was a long silence in which the twins both thought maybe he had given up looking for them. The silence was broken when the cupboard door swung open, filling their hiding place with light. They looked up at their father fear swimming in their eyes. His twin clung to him like his life depended on it. Their father wielded a knife in his bloody hand. "There you are" he smiled sadistically before he slashed the knife towards them, cutting both of them in the process. After the harsh and sharp swipe tears spilled from both of their eyes which enraged their father. "No crying!" He bellowed, leaning down in their faces before he punched both of them which just made them cry more._

_"Daddy stop!" He squeaked and his twin looked at him with fear. Their father turned solely to him but when he did his face had changed into someone else's. Someone so familiar._

_"I'm not your Dad! I'm your brother" he countered before he lifted the knife, ready to plunge it into the six year olds chest. "Goodbye Michael" he muttered before Raphael swung the knife towards his heart._

"Michael, wake up!" He heard before he shot up from his slumber, checking himself for stab wounds. He felt a hand on his shoulder which made him jump until he looked over at who the hand belonged to, it was just Lucifer. "It's okay, it was just a dream" Lucifer assured him, worried about his brother. Ever since the news that Raphael escaped had come to light Michael had been having nightmares. He wouldn't tell anyone what they were about but he would wake up in a bad state, trying to play off that he was okay. "Balthazar went to go and get you water" Lucifer smiled at him, as if on cue Balthazar entered the room holding a glass of water. He placed it on a small table at Michael's bedside.

"Thanks" he mumbled, his throat was dry and sore. It almost felt raw as if he had been screaming. He sipped on the cold water which soothed his throat. He put the glass down and looked at his brothers who were both wearing worried expressions on their faces. "I'm fine" he insisted but their expressions remained the same. "It's just nightmares, that's all" he shrugged. He was exhausted, he couldn't sleep because when he did fall asleep he would just have nightmares which woke him up. He was scared to even fall into sleep but he wouldn't ever tell them that, they didn't need to worry about him along with Cas and Gabriel.

"We've got to be at he hospital soon before Cassie's operation. Just get ready because we have to go soon" Lucifer told him before standing up and walking out of the room. He had his stitches out yesterday and so was able to walk without his crutches, finally.

"I know you're worried about Raphael and before you even try and tell me that you're not, you don't need to lie. As long as we all stay together there's no way he can hurt any of us. Cas is safe in hospital and so's Gabriel" Balthazar tried to reassure his older brother.

"Raphael needs to go back to the mental hospital and then maybe he'd get better. This isn't something he can help. He's ill" Michael explained. He was so worried about all of his brothers since Raphael escaped. He knew that his half brother was dangerous but it wasn't his fault. He was mentally ill. He needed help just as much as Gabriel does. He just didn't understand why his brothers couldn't see it that way.

"Stop defending him! I know he's got mental health problems but he's a dick anyway. We all saw how hard Gabriel tried to fight his problems and Raphael just allows himself to follow all of his sick urges. He is the bad guy in this, not us. We have no reason to help him. He's never done anything for us" Balthazar argued back, he had to try and get Michael to see their side. His mentality was going to get him hurt again if Raphael did come after them.

"Fine. Let's just agree to disagree. Just leave, I need to get dressed" Michael concluded. Balthazar sighed and stood from the bed, walking out of his room before finally closing Michael's door. He walked downstairs and saw Lucifer lying on the couch with his eyes closed and hands covering his face. Both of the twins were struggling. They were always the ones who stayed strong for their younger brothers but with everything that had happened the situation with Raphael seemed to have made them feel a little distant. They just wanted all of their problems to fade away. People can only remain strong for a certain amount of time before the cracks start to appear.

Balthazar didn't have anyone to confide to about this. He couldn't talk to the twins about him being worried about them because he knew they would just play it off as if they were okay. Cas and Gabriel were both in hospital so he didn't want to burden them with these concerns. They didn't see the twins all day everyday like Balthazar did. He saw that they were slowly breaking under the pressure of trying to protect their younger brothers as well as each other.

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"They aren't there yet? Don't worry I'm sure they will be there soon" Gabriel reassured Cas as they spoke over the phone. The fact that they had yet to reach the hospital worried Gabriel though, especially with Raphael out there somewhere. He felt so helpless stuck in the mental hospital. He couldn't help them or make sure they were okay. All he could do was sit around and wait for any news about Raphael. He just hoped that the police would find him before he hurt someone.

"I'm nervous about the surgery" Cas admitted, his voice quiet. While it wasn't like he hadn't prayed for this moment thousands of times in his head he was worried in case it didn't work. If he got his hopes up just to see the same pool of black he had been trapped in for five long years.

"It would be weird if you wasn't worried about it. You'll be fine and if it doesn't work you know it won't change anything, we still care about you. I know that if it doesn't work you're going to be so disappointed but at least you can say that you tried rather than not having the surgery and trying to get your sight back. The bright side of that is at least you won't have to see our ugly faces. It would be a shame about Dean though, super hot" he laughed, trying to stop his little brother from worrying so much. He heard Cas laugh on the other end of the phone which made Gabriel feel at ease.

"Yeah I'll tell him that. Anyway, how are you Gabriel? Are you feeling better?" Cas asked, switching the subject. He had realised they had only talked about him and he wanted to know how his brother was especially after finding out Raphael had escaped.

"I'm okay I guess, I just want to go home. The visiting hours here are way too strict. I just miss everyone and I'm worried in case Raphael gets to them. What if he does? What if he hurts one of them?" He asked, his whole tone changing. He began to panic and was unable to stay still. He began twirling the phone wire and jumping slightly on his feet.

"Gabriel, I shouldn't have even asked, calm down. Don't worry" Cas tried, just wishing he could speak to Gabriel face to face rather than over the phone. He could hear Gabriel's frantic breathing on the other end of the phone. "Gabriel, hey, it's alright" he tried again, Gabriel sounded as if he was trying to stop himself from panicking but it really wasn't working. As Cas continued to try and calm his brother down the others entered the room.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked almost immediately, knowing there was something wrong. Cas held the phone out to him before he grabbed it and put it to his ear.

"It's Gabriel, he's worried" Cas whispered and Michael nodded in understanding.

"Gabriel, hey, it's me. Listen you don't need to worry about a thing, okay? We're fine, Cas is fine and you are safe. Take deep breaths okay?" Michael advised just as Dean entered the room, immediately knowing there was something wrong.

"Michael! Thank god" Gabriel managed to say through his deep breaths he was using to calm himself down. Hearing his brothers voice had made the task of calming down much easier. Ever since Raphael had escaped his anxiety levels had hit the roof. The doctors had told him that they might have to up his dose of anxiety medication, at this point he didn't think that was a bad idea.

"Gabriel you don't need to worry like that, everything's fine. If there was something wrong we would call the hospital straight away to let you know" Michael reassured him, with everything going on Gabriel's progress had come to a halt. He was stuck at an in between phase. He had definitely improved since he had first been admitted but he wasn't well enough to be released.

"How would you call if you were dead?" He asked gravely. This just made Michael stop. He couldn't argue with that. He understood why Gabriel was so worried, he wasn't able to see any of them unless they came to visit him. If he wasn't with them he would have no idea what was going on.

"Listen, Gabriel we're not. Okay? Don't think like that" Michael replied. He had no other comebacks. It was so hard to try and comfort someone who wasn't even overreacting that much. He knew he would be just as worried as Gabriel was. He looked up from the floor and up at the others in the room.

"Put him on speaker phone" Lucifer whispered and Michael did as he was told.

"But I wouldn't even know if you were and I couldn't help! If you die on me what the hell am I supposed to do?" He asked. The emotion was clear in just his voice.

"There's three of us and one Raphael. He hasn't got the guts to kill anyone anyway. He's not Zach. Gabriel just don't worry. I wasn't going to tell you this yet, it was supposed to be a surprise. I asked the hospital if you were allowed to go out of the hospital if you were supervised and they said yes. When Cas is going to get his bandages off you can come and see him" Lucifer explained and everyone in the room was just as shocked as Gabriel. He hadn't told anyone about him doing that.

"Wait, really!?" Cas asked, perking up with a smile on his face.

"Are you serious!?" Gabriel's voice sounded through the phone. His voice full of excitement.

"Don't say I don't do anything for you" Lucifer bragged smugly as he sat at the end of Cas' bed. "You deserve to be here as much as anyone Gabriel. Like I'd let you miss this" he continued, a smile present on his face. Cas quickly shuffled towards where he thought Lucifer was, ignoring the slight pain from his stitches on his chest and hugged his older brother.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Cas almost squealed with excitement. Lucifer laughed and hugged him back. "Oh my god this is like...the best thing ever. I love you so much Luci thank you!" He repeated, hugging him even tighter. He was in disbelief. Even if he took the bandages off and still couldn't see at least there was something to look forward to.

"I could just kiss you if I was there. Best big brother award goes to Luci. Sorry Michael" Gabriel joked but Michael felt a little betrayed. He knew he should be excited too but he and Lucifer were supposed to be looking after their brothers together rather than making the other one look like they don't care, which is how he believed it would look. Like Lucifer cared a lot more than Michael did and that wasn't true. He only had to keep it a surprise for Cas and Gabriel. Not him and Balthazar too. He was broke out of his thoughts when the door opened and three doctors came in.

"Are you ready to go?" One of them asked. Cas let go of Lucifer and nodded, a smile on his face. He felt much less nervous now that he knew when this was over with it wouldn't be long until he could talk to Gabriel face to face.

"Good luck Cassie. You'll be fine! I'll see you soon little brother" Gabriel's voice chirped through the phone.

"Thanks Gabriel, see you soon" Cas responded, a smile still on his face.

"Bye guys!" Gabriel said before he put the phone down so that the others could wish Cas luck too. Lucifer hopped down off the bed so that Cas could lay down ready to be wheeled to surgery.

"I Love you, we'll all be right here waiting for you when you wake up" Dean told him before kissing Cas on the lips. Cas smiled at him and put his head down on the pillow as the doctors began to push the bed.

"Good luck Cas!" Balthazar chimed in, a huge grin on his face. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. His brother would, probably, be able to see again soon.

"You'll be okay" Michael and Lucifer said at the same time before turning to look at each other. Lucifer was wearing a smile on his face but Michael soon rolled his eyes at him and turned away. He couldn't help but to be pissed off at his brother.

"That was so twin like" Balthazar laughed, breaking the awkward silence as Cas was wheeled out of the door. As soon as he was out of the room there was a tension which lingered in the air. Michael wouldn't even look at Lucifer, instead deciding to look at a wall with a sour expression on his face. Lucifer looked at Balthazar questioningly but the younger Novak just shrugged, as confused as he was. "Michael, are you mad at Luci?" He asked bluntly, Michael turned to look at Balthazar, but still didn't even so much as acknowledge Lucifer.

"Yeah, I am" he snapped, his tone was unusually angry which startled everyone in the room a little. Michael was usually the calm and composed brother, he didn't usually lash out. "Why did you do that!?" Michael asked, turning to his twin now with a mix of fire and sadness swimming in his eyes.

"What? What the hell are you talking about!?" Lucifer asked him, starting to feel himself get angry. He was just so hurt and confused. He had no idea what the had done and he couldn't stand being accused when he had done nothing wrong.

"Why are you trying to act so much better than me!? We are supposed to make decisions together! I've never done something for these guys without asking you first! Ever since Mom and Anna died we were supposed to be in this together!" He raged with raw emotion in his voice. His eyes were stinging from the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

"Wait...This is because I didn't ask you about Gabriel being allowed out? Are you fucking serious!? This wasn't supposed to just be a surprise for them it was for all of us, including you! You know I would never do anything if I thought it would make you this mad. We are in this together, okay? Look, clearly this has got you all upset for some reason and I'm sorry but damn Michael you don't have to get so pissy about something so simple!" He answered back, still angry but trying to keep his cool. He took a few steps towards his twin who was standing across the other end of the room away from the rest of them. "Are you really that upset about this?" He asked in a way that Michael deemed as patronising. His blood boiled, he didn't even know why he was so angry but he couldn't control it. As Lucifer got closer to him Michael suddenly pushed him back as hard as he could sending him crashing to the floor.

"Fuck off Luci!" He shouted down at him before Lucifer quickly got back to his feet and hit Michael in the face as they began to fight.

Balthazar and Dean stood together not knowing whether to stop the fight or just let them release their anger. They watched as punch after punch was thrown. As soon as Balthazar saw that they were both bleeding he knew that he had to break them up. "Hold Michael back" Balthazar said to Dean before he ran behind Lucifer and grabbed him around the waist before trying to pull him away while Dean did the same to Michael.

"You're such a fucking dick! I hate you!" Lucifer growled as he was pulled away from Michael despite still trying to get a few more punches in before they were torn apart.

"You want to do this on your own it's fine by me!" Michael told him, fury clear in his tone before he stormed out of the room.

"Dean, please keep an eye on him. My brothers can't be left alone right now, not with Raphael around" Balthazar told Dean, grateful that he was there to help him otherwise that fight could of got ugly.

"Okay, I'll text you" Dean told him before he hurried out of the room to catch up with Michael.

Balthazar let go of Lucifer who immediately put his hand to his head where he thought he was bleeding before looking at the fresh blood on his hand once he lowered it. "This might be a stupid question but are you alright?" Balthazar asked him before Lucifer turned around to face him. His expression was much different than before but the look of anger and frustration was still etched on his features.

"He's just an asshole" Lucifer replied simply before wiping the blood on his face with his sleeves.

"I think he's just upset. He hasn't been himself lately anyway. Luci you can't stay mad at him. I know he was being a dick but he's not coping that well right now and you know it. That was probably just because of how much pain he's in at the minute" Lucifer was about to retort back but Balthazar cut him off. "Before you say anything I know he shouldn't of taken it out on you but you have to forgive him. He's not in a good place, he tries to play off that he's okay but you and I know he isn't, okay? His nightmares are getting worse and he's just constantly on edge. I guarantee when he walks back in here he will regret what he did and you have to forgive and support him. He needs you Luci, he would never say this out loud but I honestly don't think he would have coped if you would have died in that fire at the school. I think that...maybe would have pushed him over the edge" Balthazar continued, trying to get Lucifer to understand. He knew that his brother was probably just clouded by his anger but he had to get him to listen. Michael was going through a rough patch with Raphael being out there as well as just everything else that was happening. He deserved to at least be eligible for a outburst at some point, even if it was aimed at his own twin.

Lucifer thought about this and his anger faded, he didn't regret fighting back but he did regret not trying to talk to Michael about his feelings sooner. Balthazar was right, he knew Michael was in a bad place and yet he didn't really do much to try and help him. If it was the other way round, even if Lucifer had told him he was fine, he knew Michael would have tried to help as much as he could. "I...I want him to come back" Lucifer breathed, he suddenly felt terrible. Michael was he other half of him, his twin, and yet he couldn't even try and force out of him what was wrong. He just left him alone, thinking that would help but he should have knew by now that never works. "I knew he was hurting but I didn't know he was that close to breaking. Shit. Balthazar I need to speak to him. Oh my god what have I done? I didn't try and calm him down I got angry back at him. If I didn't then we probably wouldn't have even fought. I messed up" he panicked. He needed his twin. If he stayed mad at him he would never forgive himself.

"It's not your fault, you've both been under way too much pressure since Mom and Anna died. You can't blame yourself. Honestly you two are so strong to be able to put on a brave face in front of us but just because you're both older than us doesn't mean we can't help you like you two help all of us. It's okay to admit you're hurting. I would say you could usually talk to Michael about it but not when he's in this state, while he's like this you can talk to me, you know? You're my brother and I've had to watch you suffer and even...harm yourself all because you don't want to burden anyone else with your troubles but I am here, okay? You told me just a few weeks ago you wouldn't leave me and now I'm telling you. I will always be here for you" Balthazar smiled slightly at him. He was always the one who was most similar to Lucifer and it was showing itself.

"Thank you, I'm sorry about everything, I'm sorry you had to watch that just now and everything before it. It-" he stopped when Balthazar's phone rang. "Is it Dean?" He asked, worried about his brother. Balthazar nodded smiling to him before answering.

"What's going on Dean?" Balthazar asked. He wondered why Dean had called him rather than texted him. That worried him a little.

Lucifer watched as Balthazar gained information as Dean told him what was happening while he just stood there. He almost couldn't believe this was happening. Today was the day their brother was getting surgery to regain his sight. They were supposed to be happy, a little nervous, but happy. Instead his mood was at rock bottom. He was upset and he was worried. "Shit, okay. We'll be right there" Balthazar said before he put the phone down. He hastily made his way to the door. "Come walk to the car with me, I'll tell you as we walk" Balthazar told his older brother, his tone was urgent and his eyes swam with worry. Lucifer didn't ask questions. He just followed Balthazar. He needed to see Michael.

_______________________________________________________

"I'm so sorry...I know I'm a screw up. I couldn't look after them like you did. I can't believe I just did that. I hurt Lucifer. What the hell is wrong with me?" Michael sobbed, tears freely falling as he sat on the ground. "I'm not good enough to do this. Why did you have to leave me? Well I killed you...Lucifer didn't want to turn your life support off but I convinced him otherwise. I just didn't want you to suffer. I need help. I need something. I don't know how much longer I can take this" he continued before brushing his hand against his sisters headstone. "I don't know what to do. I need my big sister and my Mom back" he cried looking down at his bloody hands. He had no idea who's blood it was. Whether it was his on or Lucifer's but he couldn't stand it. "Anna I'm so so sorry. I've let you down. I've let everyone down. Luci and Balthazar probably hate me now. How could I be so selfish? I can't do it anymore. I've failed" he breathed, the tears burning his cheeks like acid. He shuffled forward, closer to her headstone and leant his head on the top of it before closing his eyes. "I want to see you and Mom again. It's not like it would make a difference if I wasn't here anyway, Lucifer's better at this whole thing than I am. I'm just so scared and I don't know what to do to stop it. I would do anything for any of our brothers but I can't keep them safe anymore, I'm broken after everything that's happened. I wish I could have made you and Mom proud" he continued until he felt a hand on his shoulder, he jumped and looked back to see Lucifer who crouched down to the floor to be eye level with his twin.

"You have made them proud and don't you dare say it wouldn't make a difference if you were here or not again. I need you, okay? You are my twin and I won't let you leave" Lucifer told him with a serious tone, looking into the bloodshot crying eyes of his brother.

"Luci I..." He stopped, hesitating, before he leant forward and hugged his twin as tight as he could. He buried his head into Lucifer's shoulder, tears spilling from his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I'm a dick. I didn't mean it" he told him, his throat was tight and his voice was hoarse.

"It's okay, it's alright. You don't need to apologise. I should have realised how much you were hurting. I'm sorry I said I hate you" just the mention of that made Michael flinch slightly but Lucifer just held him trying to take his pain. "I don't hate you, I could never hate you. We are all here for you and I won't let anything happen to you or them. We need you, Michael please don't ever think so low of yourself. I will literally remind you every day of how much I need you if that's what it takes because I would be lost without you. I know you think I'm the strong twin and all that shit but without you I couldn't be strong. I couldn't be our little brothers shoulder to cry on because you are my rock" Lucifer told him truthfully as his brother clung to him. "Michael honestly I love you so much and I know I never tell you that but it's true. Just don't give up on yourself" he encouraged. Michael pulled away slightly and looked into his twins blue eyes.

"It just hurts Luci. It hurts so much. I feel like I'm suffocating under all the pressure and the stress and all the other bullshit. I don't want any of my brothers hurt including Raphael. I can't deal with anymore fighting after everything. Everything's so screwed up" he choked, still looking Lucifer in the eye. Lucifer hadn't seen Michael so upset since their Mother and Anna's funeral. Michael didn't cry. Not really. Just the sight of tears alarmed Lucifer but to see his twin openly sobbing broke his heart.

"I know there's a lot of pressure and stress right now but Michael I am here, okay? I'm right by your side like I've always been. You never have to go through anything on your own. I know I'm not exactly the best at telling people how I feel or anything but I promise you if you tell me I will tell you what's wrong too. Before I be stupid and even touch a blade again I will come to you, as long as you're in the right mindset. You don't ever have to go through any of this shit on your own. Michael, please just trust me and let us help" He tried, pouring his heart into his rant. If Michael wasn't strong then Lucifer couldn't be either. If one of them broke then so would the other as well as the rest of their brothers along with them.

"I promise" he croaked a small smile on his face as he quickly glanced over at Anna's headstone. He looked up to see Balthazar and Dean smiling down at the twins. "Balthazar...I'm sorry. I was a dick and you had to witness that whole thing. I'm so so sorry" he muttered, looking up at his younger brother through the few tears that continued to blur his vision.

"You idiot, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's not like I haven't done worse. Luci's right though, don't go losing yourself, okay? We really do need you. This family's full of hot heads we need our level headed brother to keep us in check" Balthazar laughed a little before he too kneeled down next to Michael. "Don't you ever doubt yourself again. We love you and we stick together no matter what, okay? No matter if we fight or argue or whatever, we're family which means no one gets left behind" he told him, a serious expression on his face.

"What the hell, isn't that a quote from Lilo and Stitch?" Lucifer asked, a smile pulling at his lips. His brothers did make him laugh sometimes.

"Yeah but it's true!" Balthazar countered before sticking his tongue out at his older brother.

"You're an idiot" Michael sniffled, the tears finally stopping. He managed to let a small smile form on his face.

"Yeah but you love me" Balthazar winked. He always did have an answer for everything just like Lucifer and Gabriel.

"Obviously" Michael replied, rolling his eyes before Balthazar stood up and offered a hand to each of the twins. They both took a hand at the same time and hauled themselves up. "Can we go back? I don't really want to be around dead people anymore" Michael asked, wiping his slightly wet eyes.

"Yeah, let's get out of here. These places give me the creeps" Lucifer shuddered, looking around at all of the headstones surrounding them. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something move behind a tree. He ignored it, it was probably just an animal, he thought. They all made their way back towards the car. "Dean, can you drive? I'm tired, Michael probably shouldn't drive right now and Balthazar is just a no go" Lucifer asked him.

"Hey, I'm not deaf!" Balthazar sulked and narrowed his eyes at his older brother.

"You don't even have a driving license. Even if you did I wouldn't trust you, you would end up having road rage and fighting someone" Lucifer acknowledged rolling his eyes. Balthazar didn't even have a comeback for that. He knew his brother was right. "So Dean will you?" Lucifer asked again.

"Yeah, of course I will man. It's cool" Dean smiled at him. They reached the car and, as arranged, Dean got in the drivers seat. Balthazar insisted that he also got in the front while the twins sat in the back. Michael felt himself falling to sleep. He had barely slept since Raphael escaped the mental institution because of his nightmares.

"Just go to sleep" Lucifer encouraged him when he saw his brother was fighting falling asleep. He didn't want to let himself sleep. He didn't want to have another nightmare. Despite that he couldn't fight it for any longer than two minutes before he fell asleep, lying down on the seats. Lucifer looked down at him and sighed before looking up at Balthazar who was looking back at them with a mischievous grin. "I swear if you wake him up I will punch you in the face" Lucifer warned him in a harsh whisper, already knowing what his brother was going to do. He was so predictable sometimes. His grin fell before he turned back and looked out the window, silently worrying about his brother.

*One Hour Later*

During the drive home Balthazar had spotted an empty park and persuaded them to pull over. It would still be a while until Cas was out of surgery anyway. Balthazar forced Dean to come with him in the park but Lucifer didn't go in. He stayed in the car with the sleeping Michael and just watched Dean and Balthazar mess around in the park as well as just going on his phone. After nearly 45 minutes of them being idiots in the park they finally came back into the car, as soon as they did Lucifer shushed them pointing at Michael. "Sorry" Balthazar apologised, closing the door as quiet as he possibly could. Dean started the car and began to pull out of the parking space before Michael suddenly whined in his sleep causing Dean to cut the engine and stop where he was. Dean and Balthazar both looked back at the twins to see Michael was starting to flinch in his sleep as his steady breathing turned to panting.

"No please don't. Please!" Michael mumbled in a pained voice. Lucifer shuffled over to him and leant down towards his twins face. He was sweating and his expression twisted with fear.

"Michael, wake up. Come on" Lucifer tried while slightly shaking his twin but to no avail. Michael's whimpers just got louder and sounded worse every time. Balthazar got out of the front of the car and ran around to Michael's side before opening the door there.

"Michael! Get the hell up!" Balthazar shouted as he grabbed hold of Michael underneath his arms, despite Balthazar's broken arm, and lifted him slightly to a sitting up position. When he pulled away from him he saw that Michael's eyes had opened but he continued to pant. "Hey, hey Michael look at me. It's okay we're here okay? Don't worry, you're okay" Balthazar told him before climbing into the back seat beside Michael and closing the door. Michael looked frantically around the car, he saw Balthazar, then Dean before finally turning around and seeing Lucifer.

"I'm not okay" Michael replied shaking his head. "He's in my head" he told them, his breaths still frantic.

"Who? Raphael?" Balthazar asked before Michael nodded his head. Balthazar grabbed hold of Michael's hand in an attempt to try and ground him. "He isn't here and he's not going to hurt us. We're here, just calm down okay? Breathe Michael" Balthazar advised and Michael began to take deep breaths as he squeezed Balthazar's hand slightly as if to relieve the tension in him. "Don't let him win, okay?" Balthazar told him and Michael nodded as he finally began to regain his composure.

"In the dream he killed all of you...all except me. That's the worst thing that could ever happen. That's worse than anything I could ever imagine. Then I begged him to kill me but he didn't and I was alone" he told them, looking between his brothers. Lucifer grabbed Michael's other hand, copying Balthazar's example.

"We aren't going anywhere. I promise you Michael. He's messed with your head and now you can't get him out but nothing is going to happen. I will not let him hurt any of us including you" Lucifer promised him and Michael nodded. Michael believed him. He knew that's truly what Lucifer believed but he knew Raphael was sneaky as well as dangerous. He wasn't so sure they were entirely safe.

_______________________________________________________

Raphael sat at a table in the house and looked at what his friends had given him. He had sent them out to spy on his brothers since, if he was caught, they would have turned him him. He couldn't be seen outside in case the police found him either. "That one" Crowley said pointing to Michael on the picture of them at Anna's grave. "He's weak and vulnerable. No idea what he was saying to them but the dude was crying his eyes out. What a weakling. This ones pretty worried about him" Crowley told him pointing to Lucifer before presenting another picture of Balthazar and Dean at the park. While he and that Dean guy were here for nearly an hour the other one stayed in the car with him to watch him instead of having fun. This is exactly why I don't do families. So boring" Crowley continued, a smug look on his face.

"Thank you Crowley" Raphael said, relishing in all of his knowledge. He knew what was going on with them at all times. He was just waiting for the best moment to carry out his plan. One he was sure would work. He wasn't yet sure when the correct moment would arise but it was drawing closer with each day. His plan was perfect. It would just be him. He didn't need his friends to help him with it. He just needed to execute it perfectly which he was sure he would do. He had run over the moment too many times in his head for it to go wrong.


	21. Can You See? (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there are mistakes! I proof read this but it's 2:20am and I'm tired. The next chapter is already shaping up to be so exciting omg. Hope you guys enjoy this one!

Chapter Twenty One:

_"Mikey! Come play with me!" His youngest brother, at only five years old, squealed with joy as he grabbed his eight year old brothers hand. Michael just shook his head, not saying a word. Ever since his beating from his father the night before he was in so much pain. Every inch of his body burned like fire every single time he even moved a muscle. "Please! Luci is moody without you!" Cas begged. A twang of guilt hit his chest. Not only had he disappointed his father but his brother was also upset with him. Michael shook his head again, lowering his gaze. He didn't want to look into those pleading blue eyes. Cas let go of his brothers hand before he left him alone in his room. He had the curtains closed and no lights on, he wanted it as dark as possible. He curled up on his bed, facing away from the bed opposite him which belonged to his twin. He scrunched his eyes up at the pain he felt when moved before a silent tear slipped down his face._

_"Michael?" Another voice asked before they entered the room. Michael turned around and, to his relief, it was just Anna. He sat up, the pain hitting him once more. "What did he do to you?" She asked, a worried expression crossing her face. Michael just simply lifted his shirt to reveal his torso which was painted with purple, blue and black bruises. "Oh, Michael" she uttered before she wrapped her arms around his neck, careful not to touch any of the sensitive bruises._

_"Me, Luci and Gabriel were just playing charades. Apparently I answered too loud when I was guessing. It was barely even more than a whisper" he told her, his voice raspy. He hadn't left his room since the beating to eat, drink or even use the bathroom. He was scared that if he left he would see his Father around the house. Another tear fell down his face at that._

_"He's coming!" Lucifer shouted as he burst into the room. They both knew exactly who he was talking about. Lucifer backed into the room too. Anna stood, keeping Michael behind her before pushing Lucifer behind her too. He entered the room, a bottle of alcohol in his hand._

_"You're still moping around?" He asked Michael, a look of disdain on his face. Michael tried to hold back his tears but a sniffle escaped him and that was enough to set their Father off. "Do my eyes deceive me? Are you...crying!?" He screamed which just made it harder to stop the tears from falling but he fought them still. He felt Lucifer grab onto his hand which gave him some sort of comfort In the situation. "Someone needs another beating" he mumbled, throwing his glass bottle into the wall and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He walked towards him but Anna stepped forward. His Father just shoved her off at first._

_"Dad, please leave him alone!" She begged, grabbing onto his arm to try and stop him. He looked at her with disgust before he pushed her straight into the wall, her head slightly bleeding as she fell to the ground. Just as his Father approached him Lucifer stood in front of him, still holding his hand._

_"No!" He shouted before he delivered a low blow to his Father which made him clutch his lower regions in pain. "Come on" Lucifer told Michael tugging him a little, encouraging him to get up and he did. He looked over to Anna to see her getting up. She looked slightly dazed but she caught up with them as they ran down the stairs, leaving their father in the twins room. As they reached the bottom of the stairs they heard a shout full of fury and rage and quickly ran out of the house, all of Michael's muscles aching and his body begging him to stop but he couldn't. Lucifer was practically dragging him along with him. They saw their brothers playing outside._

_"Boys, come on. We're going on an adventure, okay?" Anna asked them, kneeling down slightly and encouraging the twins to keep going but they didn't, not without their siblings. Michael noticed that the car was gone, meaning that their Mother was still at work which was a relief._

_"Why are you bleeding?" Gabriel asked her, he had only just turned seven years old a few days before. He still had a black eye from that day._

_"Just come on, Gabriel I'll give you a piggy back" Anna told him, she knew he loved those. Gabriel beamed and jumped on his sisters back. "Balthazar, hold Cassie's hand and we can go on an adventure" she encouraged as the two youngest siblings took hold of each others hands and they all began to run away from the house. Just a few seconds into them running they could hear the roars of fury echoing throughout the street. Gabriel held on to Anna tighter as well as leaning his head on Anna's shoulder. "It's okay boys, just keep going" she told them, ensuring that both the twins and her two youngest brothers were in front of her so she could keep an eye on them._

_"I can't" he told them, coming to a stop, forcing his brother to stop too. "It hurts" he cried, tears filling his eyes again. He was in so much pain. The rest of his siblings stopped too. He looked at them all. They all had panic stricken expressions besides Gabriel who's was hidden in Anna's shoulder. They were in a completely empty alleyway. There was no cars, no houses. Just silence._

_"Michael, you have to. He's going to catch up with us any minu-" Lucifer stopped when he saw the looming shadow of his father. He was staring directly at Lucifer, those piercing eyes burning through him._

_"You little shit!" Their Father cried before punching Lucifer square in the face sending him crashing to the ground. Michael watched as he sat on top of his twins small body before he began to punch him repeatedly, after a few punches it looked like Lucifer was knocked out but he kept punching._

_"Dad, stop!" Michael cried. He couldn't help but feel like this was all his fault. If he wouldn't have stopped they could have got away. Guilt rang through his gut. His father looked up at him before punching Michael._

_I deserve this. It's all my fault. I ruin everything._

Michael sat up quickly, grabbing handfuls of his duvet as he did so. He was unable to focus properly. He just felt panic. "Hey, hey Michael it's okay" he heard Lucifer's voice before he felt a hand cup his face. He looked over to where the voice had come from and came face to face with his twin, looking up he saw Balthazar standing behind him, sending him a small smile. "What was it this time?" Lucifer asked, removing his hand from Michael's face once his brother managed to focus on him.

"It was all my fault" he breathed, making eye contact with Lucifer who's face was etched with confusion. "Remember when we all ran away? After you hit dad in the balls?" He asked, both Lucifer and Balthazar nodded although, the memory was vague for his younger brother. Balthazar remembered the event but when it had occurred he wasn't really sure what was going on. "I stopped and then he found us. You got beat up all because I stopped. It was all my fault" Michael muttered. He had been having nightmares for nearly two weeks now. Every single time he would fall to sleep a nightmare would wake him up before he had even five hours sleep.

"Don't be stupid Michael. That was ten years ago, we were only kids. It was never your fault that Dad was like that. It was none of our faults. He's gone now, don't worry about him" Lucifer encouraged him. He had to try and lift Michael's mood. It was the day that Cas' bandages were being taken off and they would find out if he could see or not. Of course, Gabriel was going to be there too and he could easily be triggered if sensitive topics were bought up. Today wasn't a day he wanted to be ruined, especially if Cas regained his sight.

"When do we have to get to the hospital?" Michael asked, wiping his eyes. He was mentally and physically exhausted.

"Gabriel's doctor said they will get there at about 11 but it depends on traffic and shit. She told us to get there before him so that we could meet him outside first, she said he's nervous" Balthazar replied, leaning against the wall. He was already dressed while Lucifer just had jeans on and his hair was wet. Michael presumed he had just got out of the shower when he heard him having a nightmare. Michael nodded before throwing his duvet off and getting out of his bed, walking past Balthazar with his head hanging down.

"Michael" Lucifer called. Michael stopped where he was but he didn't turn around to face him. "I nearly forgot my daily reminder, I need you" he told him. Ever since they found Michael in the graveyard Lucifer had reminded him of that fact every single day without fail. Although he just said the same thing each time, every time he did it made Michael feel a little better. Michael smiled before he walked away, towards the bathroom to get ready.

Lucifer and Balthazar shared a look of concern, they didn't need to voice their worries. They each already knew.

_______________________________________________________

A few hours later the twins and Balthazar arrived at the hospital, just ten minutes before 11. Lucifer, of course, had drove them there, Michael was way too tired to be trusted while driving and Balthazar hadn't got his license yet. Balthazar had told the twins that he would wait outside for Gabriel to arrive while the twins went inside. Michael protested, not wanting him to be left on his own but Balthazar managed to convince him by telling him he would wait inside, he could see through glass doors. After some convincing by Lucifer and Balthazar he just gave up and let them win. Lucifer had told Balthazar to let Gabriel know how Michael was doing. He didn't want Gabriel to jump all over him or be insensitive which he often did if he was hyper.

Just two minutes after the twins had left Balthazar alone he saw Gabriel come out of a car, accompanied by a female nurse. Balthazar walked through the doors and as soon as Gabriel saw him he beamed. They hadn't been able to visit Gabriel since he got beat up because of the dumb visiting hours. Gabriel looked as if he was trying to convince the nurse to let him go over to his brother without her but she was shaking her head.

After the nurse locked her car they began to walk over to the hospital, Gabriel slightly in front of her until his walk broke into a run and he soon collided with Balthazar, sending him stumbling back slightly. "I missed you" Gabriel uttered as he embraced his brother, Balthazar hugged him back in return.

"I missed you too" Balthazar told him truthfully. He missed going downstairs to see Gabriel jumping on the sofa's or hearing his stupid music blasting from his room. The nurse approached them and just stood there before Gabriel finally let go of his brother, looking up at the taller boy. "I need to talk to you before you see Michael" Balthazar told him and saw the sparkle in Gabriel's eyes fade slightly. Balthazar noticed the bruises Gabriel had were faded after Raphael's attack on him. He could still see the one that resided on his neck but the others were nearly unnoticeable.

"What's wrong with him? Is he alright?" Gabriel asked, worried now. Balthazar didn't want to tell him everything, that would only upset him if he knew the full extent of Michael's problems right now.

"He's not doing too good, he can't sleep. He keeps having nightmares, he's been like it for nearly two weeks now. Ever since you last saw him. He's kinda super sensitive too so don't be a dick, even if you are joking around with him. Be a dick to me and Luci, just not him. He's not in a good place right now" Balthazar informed him, sparing the details. Gabriel didn't need to know about that right now. "Oh and don't tell him I told you, he'd probably kill me" he added. Michael was full of pride, he would hate for anyone to even suggest he was having a hard time. He liked to pretend he was made of nails but he wasn't. Even he broke sometimes.

"I won't, I promise. I want to go and see him though. Can we go inside, I'm getting hypothermia out here" he whined, being a drama queen as usual. They walked down the corridor together, the nurse lingering behind. She had to stay with him but that didn't mean she had to intrude on their family time. Gabriel had told her many times about how he missed his brothers and all about Cas. She just had to keep an eye on him and make sure he was okay as well as evaluating how well he coped while not in the hospital, so far he had coped well. They got towards Cas' hospital room and that's when Gabriel began to slow down.

"It's alright, don't worry. He doesn't look like he did when you last saw him, he's so much better now" Balthazar encouraged when he noticed Gabriel had began to walk slowly. Gabriel took a deep breath, nodding but he still walked slower than he did before. They reached the room and Balthazar put his hand on the door knob. "Are you ready?" Balthazar asked him, looking back at him. Gabriel was opposite the door, leaning on the wall which was a few feet from the door. He nodded, still keeping his distance. He wanted to look in from a little further away before he entered. Balthazar looked at the nurse who just nodded. He opened the door and as soon as he did the twins stared directly at him, expecting to see Gabriel too.

"Where's Gabriel?" Lucifer asked. Gabriel looked in the room, he could see Cas lying on the hospital bed with bandages over his eyes. Balthazar was right, he didn't look as beaten up as he did before. He cautiously took a few steps towards the door, he was nearly at the door frame, he just had to push himself to walk further.

"He's here, he's just nervous" Balthazar told him before Gabriel saw Lucifer's head poke round the side of the door, a smile on his face. Gabriel was pale and looked a little ill, he just hadn't been outside of the institution for so long or seen Cas in such a long time. It was a lot to take in.

"It's okay, come on" Lucifer tried, he held out his hand to Gabriel who took a few steps forward before he was able to take it. He slowly walked towards the door, Lucifer was slightly tugging at his arm to try and encourage him. Gabriel suddenly saw Cas sit up, he could clearly see him now.

"Gabriel, I won't bite. I've missed you though so get your ass over here" the youngest Novak teased, making Gabriel feel more comfortable. Gabriel suddenly let go of Lucifer's hand and walked into the room before rushing to sit at the side of Cas' bed.

"Hi Cassie" Gabriel said, the smile and emotion evident in his voice. He was trying to control his emotions but he had missed Cas so much.

"Hi asshat" he replied before he hugged him, Gabriel hugged back just as tight before burying his head in Cas' shoulder. He felt as if he could breathe now, he had done it. He had gone into the room. He sighed, not realising he had been holding his breath and visibly relaxed. He felt tears sting his eyes but didn't even bother to hold them back. He was so happy to see Cas. Cas felt the wet on his shoulder and hugged him tighter to him. "Aw Gabriel, don't cry" Cas laughed slightly.

"I missed you so much, little brother" he replied, squeezing Cas before letting him go. He put his hand at the back of Cas' head before kissing Cas' hair. He opened his tear filled eyes and looked over at the twins. Michael was smiling but Gabriel could see, just by looking at him, how exhausted he was. He knew Michael wasn't himself. He was happy Balthazar had warned him beforehand though otherwise he would have just blurted something out. "How are my favourite big brothers?" He asked, ruffling Cas' hair before walking around to them. He felt so much more relaxed now. He didn't know why he was so nervous. He just didn't want to see Cas hurt like last time. He was worried in case Cas was mad at him but he realised he was being over dramatic.

"We're your only big br-" Lucifer stopped mid sentence when Michael hit his arm throwing him a annoyed glare. Raphael was Gabriel's older brother too. Michael just couldn't shake the feeling of responsibility towards Raphael. He knew Raphael was a terrible person but they were still brothers and Michael still managed to hope that there was a shed of decency in his brother. "Sorry, yeah. Okay, we're your favourites" Lucifer stuttered, looking down slightly before he suddenly felt an arm around his neck making him look up. Gabriel was in between the twins and had his arms round each of them.

"Thank you so much for organising this whole thing Luci" Gabriel smiled before he turned to Michael. His face much more pale than usual. The bags under his eyes were noticeable and his whole stance was slightly different. He was doing a good job as hiding it but Gabriel was his brother, he knew he was hurting. "And thank you for looking after everyone. This whole family would be a mess without our responsible brother" he confessed. It was true. There was no way Lucifer would have been able to hold the family together on his own. He saw a small smile creep on Michael's face and that was enough to make Gabriel beam.

Just then Dean walked into the room, he was talking on the phone. He surveyed the room and saw Gabriel standing in between the twins, his arms still around them. "Hi Gabriel!" Dean waved excitedly. He noticed the nurse sitting near the corner of the room, he knew she must have been there to keep an eye on Gabriel. "Yeah I'm there now...you want to speak to him?" He asked the person on the other end of the phone.

"Who is it?" Balthazar asked, a little confused.

Dean covered the phone. "My uncle Bobby's dating Ellen, the one who's looking after Alastair. He's gone round there with Sammy and Alastair wanted to speak to you. He hadn't really got the chance to talk to you or explain himself, you know?" He asked, directing his question to his boyfriend. Cas smiled a little and held out his arm before he felt the phone be placed in his hand and putting it to his ear. "I put it in speakerphone, you don't need to put it so close" Dean laughed slightly and Cas moved his arm down, his face turning slightly red.

"Hello?" He asked, he was happy he could finally talk to his cousin. His brothers had told him all about what happened when they last saw him. Gabriel became uneasy at the memory. When Raphael ruined everything and broke him. That was the same day he got sent away.

"Hi, it's Alastair" he muttered, just his tone of voice indicated that he was nervous. "So, I'm sorry about everything Cas. It was my Dad making me do those things and I think we are all too familiar with what he was capable of" he continued. Balthazar looked down at his arm which was still in a cast. Just a reminder of what Zachariah had done to him. "Anyway, I hope everything goes well for you, I honestly do care. We may not have been able to speak properly before this but you're family" he told him. It still felt strange to him that he had family that actually cared about him. It was such a foreign sensation for him still.

"Well we'll have to talk face to face soon" Cas smiled.

"Yeah, we will. Um...Is everyone else there too?" He asked, almost cautiously.

"Yeah, you're on loud speaker" Cas informed him, moving the phone away from his mouth and stretched his arm out so it was facing towards everyone else in the room.

"Gabriel, I'm sorry I didn't stop you or stop Raphael. I just didn't know what to do" he apologised. He had felt guilty about that ever since. If only he would have stopped Raphael or just try to calm Gabriel down then maybe he wouldn't have ended up in the mental institution.

"Does everyone in this family feel the need to make everything their responsibility? It's okay. You don't need to apologise. It wasn't your fault. How were you to know how to deal with Raphael being a dick or me being like that? Don't worry yourself with shit like that. I was going to end up back there anyway whether Raphael came or whether you were there or not. It's not your fault" Gabriel reassured him. He was tired of every single one of his family members blaming themselves for everything that went wrong. He did it too, often. He knew they couldn't help it just like he couldn't but he hated hearing about how guilty they felt about something they had no control over. He knew he was a hypocrite just for thinking that. It must have run in their family somehow since it was one common flaw they all shared.

"I guess. Uhm...I'm gonna go now, leave you guys to it. Just wanted to wish Cas luck. I'll see you all soon I guess bye g-"

"Good luck Cas!" A female voice squealed in the background.

"Yeah good luck Cassie!" Another female shrieked, sounding just as excited as the one before her.

"That was Jo and Charlie, they never shut up. What they said, I hope it goes well man and if it doesn't you're strong. You'll be able to get through it. I'm actually gonna go now, see you guys soon" he said, sounding a little awkward as always.

"Bye Ali" Balthazar replied before the line cut. "Told you he wasn't really an asshole Cassie" Balthazar pointed out. When they had told Cas about Alastair he seemed a little unsure. He wasn't sure whether he believed him or not by after hearing him he sounded genuine. Cas was good at detecting if someone was being false by their voice. He had years of darkness, the only thing he could ever rely on while judging others was his hearing.

Gabriel moved away from the twins, grabbing the phone from Cas and walking back over to Dean. He handed the phone to him. As he walked away from Dean he noticed that Michael hadn't said a single word since he had been here. Not even hello, there was nothing. Michael was quiet compared to the likes of Dean, Balthazar and Lucifer anyway but not this quiet. He snapped out of his thoughts when a chair scraped along the floor, he looked towards where the noise had came from to see Michael getting up out of his seat. He stood but as he did he seemed to stumble slightly, as if he was dizzy. Lucifer was immediately on his feet beside him and holding onto his arm to try and steady him. "I'm fine" Michael insisted but Lucifer didn't let go of him. He looked to Gabriel, seeing his already worried face and he didn't want to talk to Michael about this in front of him. It could reverse all of those weeks he had been recovering.

"Come outside for a sec" Lucifer told him, dragging him by his arm before the two left the room. Balthazar sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. He had no idea how to help Michael, all he wanted was for him to be his normal, annoying, irritating self again. Gabriel was taking steps forward towards being his old self while Michael was stuck in the never ending loop of nightmares which were slowly breaking him. Dean moved to sit down near the top of Cas' bed, a seat free in between Dean and Balthazar which Gabriel soon sat down in.

"Well, it wouldn't be a Novak get together without some kind of problem now, would it?" Cas asked, breaking the silence in the room. Silence had made Cas especially uncomfortable ever since his sight had gone. All he had left to rely on was his hearing, silence wasn't really an option. He could slightly hear the twins mutters outside due to his sensitive hearing but not well enough to know what they were saying. All he could tell was that Michael was exhausted. He could hear how drained he was by his tone, the way his footsteps seemed heavier than before also gave an indication. He had no spring to his step anymore. "Gabriel, are you alright?" Cas asked, despite being worried about Michael he was also worried about Gabriel. He didn't want Gabriel to suffer due to what was happening. It wasn't Michael's fault that he wasn't feeling like himself but he was worried about the affect that could have on Gabriel's recovery.

"I'm okay, honestly. Just worried about Michael. Trust me I wouldn't have come if I thought I couldn't handle seeing some of this crap. I kinda prepared myself for some sort of drama. Being in this family for seventeen years means that I know something's always going wrong" he shrugged. He had spoke to his doctors about the possibility of seeing one or more of his brothers upset or in a bad state. He was worried about it at first but came to realise that whenever he was upset all he wanted was to see his brothers. Being in the mental institution again had reminded him of what it was like to be unable to see the people you loved whenever you wanted. He hated it and that's why he was trying so hard to recover, so he could get out. He missed waking up in his own bed and just walking outside his room to see one of his brothers. Being able to be in their company was a luxury to him now rather than just everyday life. Every single time he was in that place he was reminded of how much they meant to him. Growing up with five siblings, not including Raphael meant he hated being alone. He wouldn't let his brothers be alone. He would never allow them to suffer on their own. He knew Michael wouldn't realise that but he knew his older brother would be in a much worse state if he wasn't constantly around his siblings.

_______________________________________________________

"I'm just really tired. Like, exhausted" Michael admitted to his concerned twin. "I'm afraid to go to sleep. I don't know what nightmare will pop up next. They feel so real, Luci" he told him. Balthazar opened the door at that moment, closing it soon after so the other two couldn't hear Michael. "I'm scared to close my eyes for even a second. Either sleep will take me or I'll close my eyes one minute and the next minute any of you could be lying dead on the floor" he ranted, slightly tugging at his hair. He fought back against tears of frustration that threatened to spill out of his eyes. He just wanted the nightmares to stop. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Michael, it's okay just go to sleep" Lucifer advised him. He didn't know how much longer he could deal with this. He needed Michael. He couldn't care for his brothers without his twins help.

"Just go to sleep? Are you fucking serious!? I can't just go to sleep! I wish it was that simple but it's not, okay!? I can't stand having to relive things we already went for as well as things that I'm so afraid of happening. I don't know what to do anymore" he argued back, his eyes glazing over, tears nearly falling. He looked down at his hands. They were shaking. His breathing was unsteady.

Lucifer hated this whole situation. How could he fight off something that only existed in Michael's mind? He couldn't threaten or hurt what was bothering him. There was nothing he could do and he felt so helpless. "I'm sorry" Lucifer uttered, his own eyes glazing over. Seeing both of the twins on the verge of tears was so hard for Balthazar to see. They were the strong ones who always knew how to help if something was wrong and in that moment they both seemed so vulnerable, even Lucifer. He never let down his hard exterior for anyone so when it broke he knew how upset he was. "I wish I could just take this from you Michael, I would do anything for you. I just don't know how to stop this" he admitted. He felt so defeated. He couldn't comprehend what Michael was going through. Sure, he had nightmares before but never for this many nights in a row with such vivid images in them.

"Don't go feeling guilty about this, Luci. It's not your fault. There's nothing you can do" Balthazar assured him before he turned to Michael. "Maybe you could try going to sleep and then after twenty minutes one of us will wake you up? Twenty minutes is better than nothing and you probably wouldn't be in a deep enough sleep to dream by then" Balthazar suggested, looking into his brothers tear filled eyes. He just nodded, breaking eye contact with his younger brother. Lucifer seemed to relax slightly at that. Even if it was only twenty minutes it was better than nothing. "Wanna go back in? You can get twenty minutes or more before a nurse or anything comes in to take off Cas' bandages" He asked.

"Maybe thirty minutes...No longer than fourty, after that I will probably have a nightmare, I'm okay to go back in" Michael told them. He knew he couldn't avoid the nightmares but maybe only sleeping for a little while wasn't such a bad idea. He had never been so sleep deprived in his entire life. Balthazar opened the door again to Cas' room, walking in first. Lucifer waited for Michael to go inside first. He rolled his eyes at Lucifer before entering before him. Lucifer closed the door behind him. Gabriel and Dean were both looking at Michael and he was sure Cas would do the same if he could see. "Uh I'm like going to sleep for half an hour. Is that cool?" He asked the others, feeling a little awkward.

"Obviously it's okay, don't be an idiot Michael. Here, you can have this" Cas insisted after removing the blanket from his hospital bed. Michael took hold of it hesitantly.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yes it's fine. You need it more than I do. It's too hot in here for a blanket anyway. Just go to sleep for a little while, Michael" Cas assured him before Michael took the blanket and sat back down on the chair beside Lucifer. He put his hood up to shield his eyes from the light. As soon as he closed his eyes he was pretty much asleep. He was able to fight it for a few minutes due to his fear but he was so unbelievably exhausted.

"Is he asleep already?" Balthazar asked in a whisper. He was a little confused how someone could fall asleep so quickly. Lucifer bent down slightly to look at his face. He looked so relaxed as he slept, that's how he knew he was asleep. He didn't look worried as he slept he actually looked at peace.

"Yeah, he's out" Lucifer confirmed, sitting back up. He was both relieved and worried that Michael was asleep. He was relieved because the guy was getting much needed sleep but worried in case he did have a nightmare.

"Gabriel" the nurse spoke up from the corner of the room. Gabriel looked over at her, she was holding a small white cup that he was so familiar with. "Pills" she told him simply, holding up the cup. He sighed before getting up and walking over to her to grab the pills. "Don't huff and puff about it kiddo, you know you need them" she told him.

"Sorry" he apologised half heartedly. He knew he needed them but he was tired of having to take so many day in day out. It made him feel as if he wasn't normal. He supposed he wasn't, most people didn't end up in mental institutions but he wasn't crazy. All the pills made him feel that way. "Do you have water?" He asked her before she pulled a bottle of water out of her bag and handed it to him.

"You can keep it with you, saves you from having to go out of the room to get a drink" she smiled at him. He returned the smile before sitting back down between Dean and Balthazar with the water and pills. Balthazar looked at all the medication in the cup and was a little taken back at how many he had. He knew Gabriel had to have a lot of medicine but not that much. He watched as Gabriel almost expertly poured the pills into his mouth before taking a swig of water to swallow them all at the same time.

"I know I've got skills Balthazar. Don't need to gawk at my talent" he joked, placing the water and cup on the floor beside his chair. When he sat back up his sleeves rolled up slightly. Balthazar noticed and couldn't help but look at the deep scars that would stain his skin forever from when Raphael pushed him over the edge. Gabriel noticed this and hastily pulled them down again.

"Sorry" Balthazar quickly apologised, rubbing the back of his neck. Gabriel just shrugged and looked over to his younger brother.

"It's alright" he told him although he clearly didn't mean it. He hated his scars. Every single time he looked at them they reminded him of what he did. They were just a constant reminder of his mistakes. He was sure Lucifer felt the same way but his scars were in places where people couldn't see. He knew most of them were on his thighs. The fact Gabriel didn't even think when he inflicted the injuries just made him feel stupid. He was stuck with them forever and every single time his sleeves rolled up, even just slightly, the scars were visible. He was dreading the summer when he would either be forced to burn to death wearing long sleeves or be publicly humiliated in short sleeved shirts.

"So uh...nurse lady...can I ask you something?" Lucifer asked, looking over to the woman sitting on the far end of the room, she looked over to him and cocked her brow. Balthazar, Gabriel and Dean all turned around to look at her.

"I suppose, what do you want to ask?" She replied, confused.

"Why would someone just keep getting nightmares? Like every single night? Ones that make you weak at the knees and make sure that you get less than five hours sleep every single night for nearly two weeks straight? I mean you're a mental health professional, right? Like...why would that happen?" He asked her, his eyes shifting to Michael. He almost just wanted him to wake up now. Lucifer was so nervous when Michael was asleep. There was nothing he could do to combat the things that haunted Michael's dreams.

The nurse looked from Lucifer to Michael. She had to admit he didn't exactly look like he was in a healthy state of mind. "Well there could be a lot of different causes. I know the basics about your family history. Required of me to know about that since I come into contact with Gabriel. Did he tell you what the nightmares were about or are they different?" She enquired, actually wanting to know more and help the boys. From what she had seen they seemed like nice kids who cared about each other but had just been through a lot. The least she could do was try and hazard a guess to what was wrong with Michael.

"You know about our half brother, right? Raphael?" He asked and she nodded. "He's been having them ever since he escaped the hospital. Sometimes Raphael is in them. Sometimes he relives events that have already happened like, with our father and then sometimes...he said things that he's scared will happen...he dreams about that. Usually one or more of us out of our siblings get hurt and there's nothing he could do to stop it. That sort of thing" Lucifer explained, trying to keep his emotions in check despite his wavering voice.

"Sounds to me like it's either something simple like stress or it could be a medical condition. My best bets for that is anxiety or depression but don't use this is a diagnosis, it's just a guess. It could be absolutely nothing but with the amount of sleep loss he has experienced I highly doubt that it's nothing. At the least its extreme stress and that's just from what I've seen" she predicted, her opinion hitting Lucifer like a ton of bricks. He couldn't deal with this. When Zach died he thought that there was no way things could get worse but Raphael just had to ruin everything. He blamed him for this whole thing. It was his fault that Gabriel would have scars on his wrists for the rest of his life and it was his fault Michael was in such a bad state. It was no coincidence that he had began to have nightmares ever since Raphael had escaped the hospital. Balthazar and Cas were now burdened with having to witness their older brothers slowly falling apart and there was nothing Lucifer could do about it.

"I...I need the toilet" Lucifer stuttered, hastily standing up from his chair. He stumbled towards the door, fumbling to grab hold of the door knob.

"Luci" Cas called and Lucifer turned around to look at him. Gabriel looked over to Michael who was still sleeping. He still looked peaceful for the moment while Lucifer's expression portrayed so much hurt and worry. "If you need anything just call or text Balthazar. It's alright to be upset you don't have to hide it so much" Cas reminded him. Lucifer managed to smile slightly but it was short lived, Balthazar, Dean and Gabriel only just caught a glimpse of it. He quickly rushed out of the rooms and into the hospital corridors. Cas heard someone stand, presumably Balthazar as if to go after him. "Don't, just let him be. He needs to be alone. If he's gone for longer than twenty minutes then by all means go and get him but maybe just leave him for a little while" Cas suggested, he knew Lucifer was the suffer in silence type and he just wasn't comfortable being upset around other people. He hated showing his weaknesses to anyone.

"Yeah, you're right" Balthazar sighed before sitting back down. He just wished there was something, anything he could do to help. He hated just sitting there and waiting for things to play out. He felt helpless.

_______________________________________________________

Lucifer locked himself in the toilet, collapsing to the floor as soon as he did so. He began to pant and wheeze, he felt as if there was a huge weight on his chest. He knew what was happening. He was having a panic attack, he hadn't had one in such a long time. He began to cough before trying to take deep breaths. He couldn't though, all he could think about was the fact that his brother was being tortured and tormented by his own mind. He just wanted to take it away from him. His siblings were all he had left and they were slowly losing themselves and succumbing to the pain and stress which they experienced everyday. He felt terrible for Balthazar too. He was the one who had to come and make sure Michael was okay and get him water when he needed it. He had to hear the screams which woke them up every morning. Gabriel was getting better but Lucifer didn't want him to come home yet, not with Michael the way he was. He would easily fall back into his downward spiral if he had to constantly see him in the state he was in. Cas was okay, he was just worried about everyone but himself despite his operation. He was more concerned about being in Gabriel's presence for the first time in weeks rather than him regaining his sight. He just wanted everything back to normal.

Lucifer began to take deep breaths. They were frantic for a while but he was able to regain his composure after at least twenty minutes of deep breathing. When he finally felt as if the weight on his chest had lifted he leaned back against the door. He sighed, staring up at the white ceiling. "Please help him" he muttered, his eyes still fixated on above. "Don't let him lose himself. If he does then so do I and if we both do, they all will. Please. I'm begging you" he tried, he had never really believed in God or ghosts or anything like that but he was so desperate at this point. He would do anything to make his family whole again. He had never felt so much pressure. He and Michael weren't supposed to be the oldest of their siblings, they never had been until a few months ago. Anna was the perfect older sister. She was so supportive of all of them, teased them accordingly, protected them and, most importantly, loved them all. She was supposed to be there to help the twins but they had to do it without her. If they didn't Cas, as well as Balthazar and Gabriel could have been taken into care since they were under eighteen. Their sister wouldn't have wanted that. "I'm sorry. I wish I could have done as good of a job as you" he continued, whispering.

He closed his eyes for just a moment before a tear slipped down his cheek. He didn't even bother to wipe it away. He needed them, he needed his brothers more than anything but they were all so damaged. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he slowly pulled it out before looking at the text. As soon as he saw who it was from he sat up straight, wiping the tears which had fell.

From: Raphael

This isn't a time to be self pitying, brother. You better hurry and get back to the rest of them before I do. I'll give you twenty seconds. Run Luci, run!

Lucifer quickly stood up, opening the door and began to run down the corridor, not caring who he ran into on the way. He saw no signs of Raphael. He had no idea how their brother knew where he was. He knew it was probably an empty threat but he couldn't take that chance, not with Raphael. He was dangerous

_______________________________________________________

"Get off me!" Michael screamed as the nurse who accompanied Gabriel held his arms down. He was sweating, panting and seemed terrified.

"You should have woke him after twenty, not waited nearly an hour!" Gabriel hissed at Balthazar who just stood back a little. He felt so guilty. Maybe he could have prevented this.

"I know" he muttered, looking down at his feet. His voice barely audible over Michael's screams. Gabriel was about to apologise, feeling a twang of guilt strike in his core when suddenly his brothers screaming stopped. He looked over to him. Michael stood up, looking to each of them, his face full of panic and worry.

"W-Where's Luci?" He stuttered. He looked down at his shaking hands "What did I do?" He asked before looking back up at them.

"Nothing, Michael it's alright. You were just having a nightmare, okay?" Balthazar tried, walking towards Michael slowly while the nurse stood behind him. She looked as if she was ready to intervene if anything happened. Michael began to shake his head.

"No...Please...Where is he?" He asked again, his eyes glazing over before tears began to freely fall down his cheeks. Gabriel had never seen Michael in such a state. He was always the calm and composed one but now he was a wreck. "Please. I need him" he cried just as Lucifer ran into the room. He was partly happy that Raphael wasn't there but his happiness faded as soon as he saw Michael. "Luci!" Michael sighed with relief before he practically ran over to him and hugged him. Lucifer was a little confused but hugged him back, looking to Balthazar and Gabriel who were both wearing the same solemn look on their faces. "I...I thought...That you were dead" he sobbed into his twins shoulder.

"Why would you think that?" Lucifer asked him. He could feel Michael's tears against his shoulder as he fought to keep himself together.

"In my nightmare I was Dad" he replied, his voice shaky. "I was him and I killed you all" he told his brother, clutching onto handfuls of the clothes on his back. Lucifer could feel Michael slightly shaking in his arms.

"You're not him. You're the complete opposite of him. I know that you would never do anything to hurt anyone. Just..." Lucifer stopped, pulling back from their hug so he could look Michael in the eye. He placed his hands on either side of his twins face, forcing him to concentrate on him. "Listen to me, okay? We will never leave you alone. You've never been on your own, we were even born together, dickwad" he teased making Michael laugh a little. "We will do anything at all to help you because we need you. You're their big brother and you're my twin. No matter how long these nightmares last we will all be here for you no matter what. Just...Don't give up in yourself or lose hope" Lucifer encouraged. Michael's tears had stopped falling and his shaking came to a halt. He nodded, letting go of Lucifer who did the same in return before he turned around to look at his younger brothers.

"Cas, I'm sorry this whole day has been messed up so far. No more sleeping for me now, I promise" he told him before walking over to his hospital bed and sitting on the edge of it, opposite Dean. "This was supposed to be a good day but I messed it all u-" he stopped when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked down to see Cas clutching onto him.

"Shut up Michael, this isn't your fault. You don't need to apologise for something you can't control. I'm just happy you're all here" Cas told him and once again Michael was blown away by how mature Cas was. He understood when they didn't spend as much time with him because of Gabriel and now he wasn't even upset about the fact that this day, which was supposed to be an amazing occasion, had just been full of drama so far. Cas hated not being able to be with his siblings as much so he had no idea how Gabriel felt. He couldn't imagine having such strict visiting hours where he could only see them for an hour or two a week. If anything he was grateful he was in this position rather than Gabriel's. That made him see the brighter side of things lately. As if he had suddenly become a optimist.

"Thanks Cas" he smiled before he ruffled his youngest brothers hair. He stood and looked over at Gabriel and Balthazar who stood side by side both looking at him. "I'm sorry...To both of you" he began before he started to walk over to the two boys. "Balthazar, I'm sorry you have to sit back and watch this crap every single day. You shouldn't have to deal with that" he apologised as he reached them and stood in front of them. "Gabriel, I'm so sorry. You get one day out of that place so that you could come and see Cas but I just kind of ruined it so far" he continued. He felt so guilty.

"Don't be stupid, you have been there for us every single day since Mom and Anna died, you have a right to crack eventually. We will be here for you just like you have been for us" Balthazar told him, clapping a hand on his brothers shoulder. "You don't need to apologise for something you can't control" he added, sending his brother a supportive smile.

"Would you ever let me fall? Like...If I was on your back would you drop me?" Gabriel asked, confusing everyone in the room.

"Um...No, I guess not, why?" Michael asked, slightly worried in case something was up with Gabriel. Suddenly a mischievous smile broke out on Gabriel's face before he jumped up into Michael's arms who was able to steady himself and hold Gabriel up. It wasn't like it took much, Gabriel was short and light.

"Did he just jump on you?" Cas asked, a smile on his face when he heard the laughs throughout the room. He could even hear a laugh from a female which had to have been the nurse.

"You know me too well Cassie" Gabriel retorted, hugging Michael with his legs wrapped around his waist. "You don't need to say sorry. I understand what it's like to feel like you are breaking all because of your stupid brain" he reassured him which, for some reason, actually did make Michael feel better. "Knew you wouldn't drop me" he smiled before he kissed Michael's cheek and jumped down.

"Has he still got a smooth cheek?" Lucifer asked, his eyebrow cocked.

"Of course! Not like yours, sand paper cheek" Gabriel teased with a wink. Lucifer was impressed, Gabriel was a lot better. Seeing him for just an hour or two a week meant he wasn't sure if he would just act up when they visited but now, he saw Gabriel was actually his old self again. He seemed so happy and just brang smiles to everyone's faces like he always had done.

"Dean, sorry you have had to deal with all this families shit. I know we're pretty messed up but thank you for loving and taking care of our baby brother" Michael smiled at him, interrupting Lucifer's thoughts.

"Don't worry about it. I love him and I care about all of you guys. It's not your fault you're related to psycho's" he shrugged. Michael laughed a little but he couldn't help but think Raphael wasn't a psycho. He knew his father was as well as Zach but he had known Raphael for years. He was just damaged. He'd been through a lot, just like them.

The door opened and in walked a nurse who had a smile on her face, she was accompanied by a male doctor who was wheeling in a tray which had different pairs of glasses on them. Since there was a strong chance that if Cas could see that he would need glasses then they had told them they would bring some of different strengths in case he needed them. Michael's breath hitched when he saw them come in. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. "Why is everyone silent? Did someone die?" Cas asked, confused. They all laughed at that, mixed emotions running through all of them.

"It's time, Cas. Doctors are here" Dean informed him, squeezing his hand supportively. Cas' smile faded. He was so nervous but excited at the same time. The worst that could happen would be that he would still be blind. He had lived like this for five years he could do it for another eighty if he had to.

Michael crossed the room, not taking his eyes off Cas but going back to sit beside Lucifer who was just as fixated on Cas as his twin. Gabriel picked up his chair and ran with it over the other side of the room, sitting down next to Michael, Balthazar soon followed. All of the brothers sat together, looking at the youngest of them as the doctors prepared everything. They were opposite Dean, sitting at their brothers bedside. "Okay Cas, I'm going to take the bandages off, don't open your eyes until I tell you to because your eyes are going to be sensitive" she told him and Cas nodded in understanding before she began to remove the dressings from around his eyes. Once they were removed his closed eyes were revealed, they looked a little red and swollen but they didn't expect any less, he had an operation on them after all. "Can you dim the lights a little?" She asked before the doctor walked over to the light, lessening the intensity of the light. "Okay, that's fine" she told him when the room grew a little darker, a smile on her face. "Cas, I know how nervous you must be. After three you can open your eyes, is that okay?" She asked, making sure he was comfortable.

"Yeah, okay" he replied, his voice cracking slightly from his nerves. He took a deep breath. He just wanted to see everything and everyone again. It had been five years too long.

"I'm going to start counting now...3" Gabriel grabbed onto Michael's forearm as the anticipation grew too strong. "...2..." Lucifer felt as if he couldn't breathe. This was it. This was the moment they had all dreamed of. "...1...You can open your eyes" she told him. He didn't breathe as he slowly opened his eyes, his bright blue eyes exposed for the first time in two weeks. He sat up slightly, blinking rapidly.

Balthazar watched him before he couldn't bare it anymore. He had to ask him. "Can you see?"

_______________________________________________________

Raphael had learnt a few tricks from Zachariah. Hacking into CCTV systems wasn't easy but he had managed to do it. When he saw that Michael had woke up from his slumber and had began to freak out he sent Lucifer the threatening message. He wanted to see how quickly Lucifer would react and to his satisfaction it was immediate. He wasn't even near the hospital, he never was. It was a empty threat but Lucifer played into it. He knew exactly how to control Lucifer's actions. He always thought that would be the way to get to Lucifer but he didn't realise how quickly he was willing to forget about his own feelings to worry about someone else's. He always worried about how he would be able to get Lucifer so that his plan could be carried out and this test proved him right. Lucifer was always the one he was worried about, who he would have trouble capturing but now he didn't need to worry. He knew Lucifer would come running if any of his brothers were threatened. He had his older brother wrapped around his little finger. Just how he needed it to be. It wouldn't be long now.


	22. Can You See? (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update after the cliffhanger! I was at a supernatural convention all weekend so I didn't have time to write. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter Twenty Two: 

"Can you see?" Balthazar asked as his younger brother continued to blink rapidly and roll his eyes around. Gabriel was still clutching onto Michael's arm. Even the nurse from Gabriel's hospital looked as if she was on the edge of her seat. Suddenly Cas stopped blinking as rapidly and slowly turned his head towards where Dean was. Their eyes locked and Dean saw Cas' pupils dilate. 

"Dean?" He asked, a bright smile breaking out on his face before he began to trace Dean's facial features with his finger. "Oh my god" he breathed, his breath hitching. He felt as if the world had stopped. "You're beautiful" he told him before Dean's look of shock and awe turned into a huge smile. Cas pulled Dean's face towards his before kissing him. He kept his eyes open. He had to take everything in. He couldn't believe this was happening. It had to be a dream. Dean pulled back and they stared into each others eyes once again. "Your eyes are so green" Cas laughed, tears of happiness falling down his cheeks. Dean wasn't how he expected him to look. He knew Dean had a strong jawline, plump lips and slight stubble from feeling his face but he could have never imagined Dean would be that beautiful. He was so fixated on Dean he nearly forgot his siblings were also in the room. He pecked Dean on the lips one last time before turning around to them, his hand still interlocked with Dean's. 

They were slightly further away than Dean was to him and looked a little blurry. He could see their outlines but that was all he could make out. He squinted but it didn't really help much. "I think I need glasses...I could see Dean fine but you guys look like a blur" he told them. This revelation didn't dampen his mood at all. He didn't care if he had to have glasses. He was just so grateful he could see again. The nurse handed him a pair of glasses. He could see her face, she was closer to him. "Oh god that's worse" he told her, taking them off once he saw how blurry his vision became with them. She took them off him and handed him another pair. "No difference" he shook his head. She gave him a third pair and as soon as he put them on he could see them, his smile returning to his face. "No way" he sighed, looking to them with awe. The last time he had laid eyes on them they were so young. The twins were only thirteen, Gabriel had only just turned twelve and Balthazar was eleven. "Let me guess. Bet I can guess you guys right" he smiled, sitting up more. His stitches causing less discomfort than they had before, probably because he was a little distracted with his vision right now. He saw who he was sure was Gabriel about to talk. "No! Don't talk that's cheating then I'd obviously know, right Gabriel" he smirked. 

"Yes! Oh my god he remembers this sexy face" Gabriel squealed, letting go of Michael's arm and putting them back into his lap. 

"Balthazar?" Cas asked pointing to the boy closest to him. Gabriel grabbed onto Balthazar in excitement. 

"Oh my god he knows your face too!" Gabriel told him excitedly. Cas laughed at him, he had always wished he could see Gabriel just being his normal playful self and now he could finally see it. Of course, he acted similar when he was younger but his antics had became greater every single day. 

"Luci and Michael" Cas said with confidence, pointing to each of them respectively. He hadn't seen what they normally looked like but even he could see how exhausted Michael looked and how worried Lucifer was despite their smiling faces. "You two look so different" he acknowledged breathing a laugh. They looked at each other before looking back to Cas. 

"They normally look way hotter than this" Gabriel informed him to which the twins glared at him in union. Cas couldn't believe he could see this with his own eyes. They were actually working again. This wasn't a dream, he pinched himself to make sure of that. 

"Have any of you got a picture of Anna? Like on your phones or anything?" Cas asked, his older sister popping into his head when he thought about his family. Michael's heart dropped, the mention of her name just reminded him of when he had fought Lucifer and gone to her grave. He still regretted every single punch he threw at his twin. 

"Oh...Yeah, hang on" Lucifer mumbled, taking out his phone. Michael leant over a little to look at Lucifer's phone but once he unlocked it his screen was still on the message that Raphael had sent him. He quickly closed it but Michael saw the message. He looked at Lucifer who was clearly ignoring him by looking down at his phone. Michael dropped the matter for now but he would bring it up later, he simply looked back down at Lucifer's phone screen. He had a folder on his gallery entitled 'family.' He clicked on it bringing up a lot of pictures. He scrolled down, scrolling past a picture of Gabriel and Balthazar from prom before he found a picture of Anna which she asked him to take just a week before she died. She was going on a date night with her boyfriend, Ash and 'wanted to see what her outfit looked like.' Lucifer clicked the picture, a small smile on his face before he walked the shot distance to Cas' bed and handed him the phone. 

"Wow...Our sister was beautiful" he smiled a little. When he had gone blind she was sixteen, she looked as if she had matured so much since then. Dean looked over his shoulder and saw the picture of her. It was the first time he had ever seen her and he thought she was beautiful. She looked so happy, cheerful and brave on the picture. "I wish she was here to see this...and Mom" Cas thought aloud. Anna looked so much like their Mother. 

"We all do kiddo" Lucifer comforted him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Cas smiled at him before looking back down at the picture of his sister. "You want to see Gabriel and Balthazar dressed up from prom?" Lucifer asked, wanting to lighten the mood again. Despite the whole prom experience being a terrible memory Lucifer just tried to think about his two younger brothers being idiots for the entire prom. That was the part he liked to remember. 

"Obviously I want to see that" Cas rolled his eyes sarcastically. Gabriel suddenly ran over and managed, somehow, to sit behind Lucifer on his knees to look over his shoulder. Balthazar grabbed Michael's arm and dragged him over there too, Michael sat in front of Lucifer while Balthazar sat next to Dean on the bed. Lucifer scrolled back up to find a picture of them and soon found the perfect one. He handed it to Cas and he burst out laughing. In the picture Balthazar had his arm around Gabriel's waist, his other arm holding up Gabriel's leg which, for some reason, was up. Gabriel had a pink dress on as well as make up and was making a face only he could make. A playful yet sassy expression was plastered on his face. "Jeeze, you two went all out" Cas laughed, shaking his head. 

"Of course we did! Go hard or go home" Balthazar stated with a smug look on his face. Cas looked over to him before looking down at his cast. 

"Why is there a dick on your cast?" He asked simply. That was the first thing he noticed when he saw it. 

"Because Luci decided to draw an accurate picture of himself on it" Balthazar told him, feeling pleased with his witty comeback. They all looked to Lucifer with shocked faces. Gabriel put his head on Lucifer's shoulder, giggling at his brothers. 

"You little bitch" Lucifer responded before giving him the middle finger. Cas looked around him, he was surrounded by his older brothers and his boyfriend, who he could finally see. He felt so grateful. Although he wished his sister and Mother were there he couldn't complain about his situation right now. He was surrounded by the people who meant the most to him and he couldn't ask for anything more. Gabriel was smiling and laughing with his arms around Lucifer's neck as well as his head leaning on his shoulder. He was being affectionate as always Cas thought. Both of the twins were laughing, despite them looking a little worse for wear. Balthazar and Dean were talking and laughing too. He was just taking everything in. Going from darkness to suddenly being able to see the five people in the world who meant everything to him made him so happy he couldn't even explain it. "You can look through the other pictures to see what else you missed out on if you want. There's probably some videos in there too" Lucifer told Cas who nodded in response. 

"I love all of you guys" Cas suddenly said which made everybody suddenly stop talking. "Obviously I love Dean in a different way to how I love you weirdos but I love you all so much. Honestly, thank you for being here and helping me out. I'm so happy I can see all of you again. I missed your stupid faces and Dean I can't get enough of yours" Cas smiled at him before he was interrupted by a gagging sound, he turned to see it was coming from Gabriel who was still cuddling up to Lucifer. 

"Save it for later big boy" Gabriel teased with a wink before a union of ewww's emerged from the other three brothers while Cas just turned red. Dean put his head down on the bed, avoiding eye contact with any of them. "What!? We already know what they'll be doing the moment they get the chance" he argued back, an innocent tone to his voice. 

"Okay, I shouldn't have said anything. Gabriel please, no" Cas protested. Gabriel reluctantly stopped talking and buried his face into Lucifer's shoulder. Dean looked up at that, the red tint to his cheeks gone. "Okay...back to looking at these" Cas said, referring to the pictures on Lucifer's phone. Gabriel propped his head up at that. He wanted to see what other embarrassing pictures he had. Cas scrolled through a few. Laughing at all of them until he reached a picture of all of them together, including Anna, Cas and Raphael. Cas looked at it for a moment. When he saw himself he looked different to how he did when he was ten. A lot different. "Is that him? Is that Raphael?" Cas asked pointing to the boy he had never seen before. It was a good thing Lucifer did have this on his phone. Without it Cas would have no idea what his half brother looked like and it wasn't like he had a resemblance to any of them.

"Yeah, that's him" Lucifer answered. He had contemplated deleting that picture on several occasions. It was taken by their Mother about a year before her death. She accepted Raphael as part of the family and so when they left the house to get away from their father when he was too angry to be around she would sometimes let Raphael come too so that her kids could spend time with their brother. Cas didn't understand how he could be a monster. On the photo he looked so harmless, a smile on his face and his arm swung around Anna's neck. He didn't look like a bad person at all. Cas just scrolled, not wanting to look at it anymore. He didn't need to think about that right now. 

"Gabriel you look like a little baby like that" Michael laughed when he looked over at him. Cas had noticed that Gabriel did look the youngest. He looked like he was fifteen rather than seventeen, his height didn't help either. Despite Michael's comment he didn't move an inch away from Lucifer. He was affectionate, he wasn't going to deny it. He just stuck his tongue out at Michael jokingly. Lucifer breathed a laugh at them, they were idiots but he loved them for it. 

Cas looked at them again, really taking in their facial features. Lucifer and Balthazar looked alike, quite a lot. They had the same colour hair, eyes and skin tone not to mention how similar their demeanour was. Cas knew Michael looked like him, they always did look alike with their jet black hair and tanned skin. Gabriel looked like a mix of everyone. He didn't have blonde hair like Lucifer or Gabriel and didn't have dark hair like Michael or Cas. He had golden brown hair, his skin was tanned but not so much as Michael's and Cas'. Cas had no idea where he had inherited his height from though. They were all pretty tall besides him. Lucifer was the tallest at 6'1, Balthazar was 5'10, just an inch smaller than Michael and Cas. Gabriel was only just about 5'8, around the same height Anna was. Then he looked to Dean who was on his phone, presumably texting. He was gorgeous, and he wasn't just saying that, he meant it. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green, his hair styled to perfection, a light stubble on his cheeks and full lips. He was everything Cas had imagined him to be and more. He couldn't believe someone so beautiful could ever love him. "Bobby says he and everyone else are so happy for you, Benny is too" Dean told him, a smile on his face. Cas noticed how his eyes scrunched up a little when he smiled, he was adorable. 

"I can't wait to meet Bobby! He sounds so cool" Cas enthused excitedly, he had heard nothing but good things about him from Dean. Anyone who Dean perceived as important in his life Cas wanted to meet. Dean had met his brothers, they were the only ones that mattered in his life who were important enough to be introduced to Dean. He was pretty excited to meet Alastair too, despite them getting off to a rocky start he wanted to see what he was truly like. He trusted his brothers instincts when they told him they thought he was genuine but he did want to see for himself. As for Raphael he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to see him, not after everything he had done. He hurt two of his brothers and he could never forgive him for that, even if they were related. Michael and Gabriel had done more for Cas than Raphael had ever done and so they were more important to him than his half brother. He looked over at Gabriel who was still all over Lucifer and could see the slightly blue bruises on his neck from when Raphael had strangled him. He didn't understand how someone would want to kill or really hurt their own family unless they were like Zach or their father. Even as it stands Cas wouldn't want Raphael to get hurt, not really. After all, they were still brothers.

_______________________________________________________

Raphael sat down at the screen which displayed the room in which Castiel was staying. He couldn't believe Cas could see again, that the operation actually worked. His youngest brother could see again. He would be lying if he said that he didn't feel any sort of happiness or joy in the fact his brother looked so happy surrounded by his loved ones. His mouth twitched up into a small smile, he couldn't help but feel compassion for him, he wanted to hate him but he couldn't. He strongly disliked, not hated, his other four brothers but he always had a soft spot for Cas, even though he never really showed it. He didn't know why he liked Cas more than the others. Maybe it was just because he was the youngest or because he felt sorry for him, he really wasn't sure. When he did carry out his plan, he would ensure that they all paid but Cas was left relatively unharmed. The time was near, he had to wait for the right time to stike and it was close. He could feel it. 

He disliked Gabriel the most out of all of his siblings. He hated the fact that Gabriel was just a few months younger than him. If they had been reversed than Raphael would have been in Gabriel's position and Gabriel would have been in Raphael's. Gabriel would have been the half brother, not Raphael. He felt like Gabriel had stole his fathers attention off him when he was born. Maybe if he wasn't born then their father would have at least seen Raphael sooner but no, he was too busy with Gabriel. He was also the complete opposite of Raphael which was exactly why the others loved him but Raphael hated the fact he was so likeable, it just made his jealousy even worse. He couldn't wait to make Gabriel feel both mental and physical pain. 

He grabbed a picture that Crowley had took of Michael at Anna's grave before turning it around and pulling out a marker pen. He scrawled on the back of it writing 'I know you're breaking.' "Crowley, put this in their car. Just to mind fuck them" Raphael sneered before Crowley took the photo, a twisted grin on his face. He left the room, pocketing the picture before setting out to the hospital. 

_______________________________________________________

"Gabriel we have to go soon, you're only allowed out for a few hours" the nurse told him. Gabriel tightened his grip around Lucifer. He didn't want to leave. 

"Why? It's not fair" he complained, burrowing his head into Lucifer's shoulder. "I don't want to" he continued, his voice muffled. 

"I know you don't, it will look a lot better on your file if you get back on time. You might even get out quicker, you've done so well today don't ruin it for yourself now" she encouraged, standing up from the chair she was sitting in. All eyes were on Gabriel as he gave an irritated sigh. 

"This isn't my depression or anxiety or PTSD talking, this is me. What the hell is so wrong with not wanting to leave when your brothers got his sight back? I haven't seen the others either in like two weeks" he whined. The nurse walked around to where he was before Lucifer turned around a little so he could see Gabriel on his shoulder. 

"Gabriel, you want to get out of that place as soon as you can, right? Then you can be back at home with us. The more you follow the rules the quicker you'll get out of there. We want you back at home as much as you want to go home. Come on kiddo, you have to go" Lucifer encouraged him, the nurse looking at him with a grateful expression. Gabriel lifted his head up and sighed. He knew that Lucifer was right but he just didn't want to go. 

"Fine" he forced himself to say before he let go of Lucifer and suddenly grabbed Cas, hugging him. Cas hugged him back. He agreed with Gabriel. He didn't want him to leave, he didn't really think it was fair that they only got to spend four hours together. "Sorry Cassie, I'm so happy for you though. Have fun looking at Dean's hot face" Gabriel teased making Cas laugh while Dean just blushed, a smile on his face. 

"I'll see you soon Gabriel" Cas ensured him optimistically before letting go of him. Gabriel didn't look so optimistic, he felt like he was going to be stuck in that place forever. It already felt like he had been there for way too long. Gabriel next hugged Dean who seemed a little taken back by that but hugged him back. He looked up to Cas who was smiling at them both. 

"Look after my baby brother for me, okay?" He asked, releasing Dean from the quick hug. "And you" Gabriel suddenly said, turning away from Dean and pointing at Lucifer. "Take care of your twin, do you understand me?" He asked as he walked over to Balthazar, hugging his younger brother. Lucifer and Michael locked eyes. Lucifer couldn't stand how dull and dark Michael's eyes looked. They were usually so bright and full of life but now he just looked so exhausted. Despite the look in his eyes Michael managed to crack a smile at Lucifer. "Make sure they're both alright, I wish you didn't have to do this without anyone else there but they need you" Gabriel whispered to Balthazar, he didn't want Lucifer to hear him. He would just deny he was in need of any kind of help when really, he was. 

"When have you ever known me not to take care of my family?" Lucifer asked as Gabriel walked around to the twins. Gabriel just rolled his eyes at his older brothers confidence before he hugged Michael. 

"You better take care of yourself for once or I will punch you in the face" Gabriel warned, pulling back from the hug but not letting him go. "Promise me, Michael" he told him, he wouldn't leave until Michael did. "Promise me right now that you will just worry about yourself for once. I know you're a Mom so you worry about everyone else but just take care of yourself and don't overwork yourself" Gabriel continued, holding Michael by his shoulders. 

"I promise I'll try" Michael responded. He had no idea what it meant to take care of himself. What did that even mean? Gabriel sighed, accepting that was the best he would get out of him. He let go of his brother and hopped off the bed, walking over to the nurse who was standing by the door. 

"Bye guys" he waved before dragging his feet as he left the room. The nurse smiled, saying bye to them before closing the door, leaving the room in silence. No one knew what to say. The whole atmosphere of the room changed as soon as Gabriel's mood had dampened. They all hated the fact they barely got to see Gabriel but knew it must have been worse for him especially with how emotional and affectionate he was. They were amazed at how well he was coping with it and how much he had progressed since being in there. Lucifer's text alert broke the silence. The phone was still near Cas who grabbed it, just to see who was texting, what he saw made his eyes widen. 

"What? What is it?" Lucifer asked, alarmed. Cas held the phone out to him. The text was from Raphael, this time it wasn't a threat. He was just simply taunting them. The text read 'Gabriel's safer in there than he is out here. He's harder to get hold of in there. If I was you I would be hoping that he didn't get out so soon.' Lucifer locked his phone at that before looking up at everyone, worried expressions on their faces. "He's just being a dick. We already know he's a stalker so there no new news there. Don't worry about it" he told them despite his own concerns. He knew Raphael wouldn't just stay as a cyber stalker forever. At one point or another they would be forced to face him but he just didn't want to think about that. 

"He's such an asshat" Balthazar remarked. Michael felt uncomfortable. He still wasn't able to overcome the feeling that he should help him. They were still brothers, nothing could change that no matter how much his siblings wanted to change it. Cas looked to Michael and could just see in his face how much he didn't want to talk about it. He was so happy he could see that, before he could just get vibes off people but not when they weren't talking. Now he could see it. Just a expression spoke a thousand words to him now. 

"I'm hungry" Cas complained. Changing the conversation topic completely without drawing attention to Michael. At that Michael looked up rather than down at his hands. His whole demeanour changed. It was clear to Cas that he felt a lot more comfortable almost instantly. He felt like he noticed every single minor detail on people's expressions now. It was as if he was in the dark for so long that now everything just seemed heightened. 

"You're allowed to eat proper food right? Like you aren't tube fed or any of that crap are you?" Balthazar's asked cluelessly. Cas turned to him with a expression which clearly spoke 'obviously not.' 

"There's no fucking tube here, obviously he's not fed through a tube dumbass" Lucifer responded causing the other three to laugh while Balthazar just flipped Lucifer off. 

"Luci?" Balthazar asked in a sweet, high pitched voice. Cas looked to him with an amused expression as Balthazar slightly tilted his head in a pleading manner. 

"What do you want?" Lucifer asked, rolling his eyes clearly knowing that Balthazar wanted something. 

"Since Cassie can see now and he's hungry maybe you could, you know, drive to McDonalds and get us some food" he suggested. His eyes were pleading. Lucifer looked away from him, not falling for the puppy dog eyes "Please Luci" he begged again. Lucifer looked at him, right into his eyes. He felt like he couldn't refuse. 

"Fine, I'll find one of Cas' doctors and just make sure he can eat it. Dean you want some too?" Lucifer asked, looking over to his brothers boyfriend on the opposite side of the bed. 

"No, I can give you money for it. You don't have to pay for me" Dean insisted but Lucifer just stood up regardless. He made no move towards Dean, only to the door. 

"Dude, no way. I'll pay for you. That's the least we owe you. I know what these lot want. They always have the same thing, what do you want Dean?" He asked him, not taking no for an answer. Dean had to admit he was happy to see he was on Lucifer's good side. He would not want to get on the wrong side of him. He had seen him when he was mad and he would, admittedly, crap himself if he was mad at him. 

"Just fries and a cheese burger with a coke. Thanks though, you don't have to pay for me" Dean tried again but Lucifer just rolled his eyes and opened the door. A doctor was right there and nearly made him jump out of his skin. The others laughed, Lucifer, the tough brother, had just been scared to death by a skinny doctor. 

"Shut up assholes. Doctor dude, can Cas have McDonalds or?" He asked, just wanting to leave the room. He felt slightly embarrassed about nearly having a heart attack a moment ago. 

"I don't see why not" he replied, a little confused still after seeing someone so much taller and muscular than him be alarmed by his presence. Lucifer walked past him, annoyed. He heard the door close behind him and walked down the corridor. He reached the entrance and almost felt relief at feeling the fresh air. As he walked to the car he stopped when he heard running footsteps behind him. He turned around to see Michael, who looked as if he was exhausted from just running a short distance. 

"Are you alright? What's wrong?" He asked as Michael regained his breath. He held his chest. He was way too tired to be running. 

"You went but then I remembered...None of us can be on our own, including you. Not when Raphael's around" Michael told him, panting for breath but steadily regaining his composure. He hated being like this. Michael was actually in good shape but he was just so tired he felt as if even just walking somewhere was like running a marathon. 

"You idiot, you should have just got Balthazar to come" Lucifer told him, putting a supportive hand on his twins arm. Michael shook his head as he seemed to finally be back o a regular breathing pattern. 

"No way, I'm not in any shape to be fighting off Raphael. Balthazar is and I'm sure Dean would get a few hits in there too. I know with you I'm not exactly much back up but it's just if something happens then I can call someone or something, I don't know" he explained, doubting himself but he just didn't want any of them on their own. He felt like if Raphael would strike he would do so when one of them was alone and vulnerable. 

"You're great back up, don't say that. So tired of you doubting yourself so much. I know this whole situations got you down but I'm here for you, alright? We all are" he reminded his twin before he tugged at his arm slightly to indicate to him to just get in the car. Michael followed Lucifer, getting into the passenger seat but noticing something was on the window screen. Lucifer had also noticed it and grabbed it. Michael saw his expression change. He saw as his brother turned the photo over and that's when Michael caught a glimpse of the picture. He felt as if his heart had skipped a beat. It was a picture of him at Anna's grave, when he was a mess. In the photo he was sobbing, his head in his hands as he leaned over his sisters headstone. Lucifer snapped his head up and looked at Michael. His expression reading both panic and fear. Lucifer quickly got into the car and closed the door, locking them after him. "Michael it-" 

"What did it say on the back?" Michael asked, his voice trembling slightly. He wasn't looking at Lucifer, he was just looking straight ahead. Lucifer looked back down at it. He didn't want to show him. 

"It doesn't matter jus-" 

"Just show me" Michael snapped, turning to Lucifer. He reluctantly handed the photo over, not wanting to argue with his cranky twin. Michael looked at the photo, disheartened by how weak he looked in it before turning it over and seeing he scrawled handwriting. 'I know you're breaking' it read. He just stared at it for a moment before he simply just dropped the photo to the car floor and put his hands to his face in frustration. "The others can't see this, they'll just panic" he said to Lucifer, his voice muffled by his hands. 

"They won't, I promise" he told him sincerely, picking up the picture and tearing it up before depositing it in the glove compartment of the car. "I'll throw it in the bin when we get to McDonalds. I won't tell them" he assured him. Michael nodded before removing his hands from his face. His eyes were slightly more swollen and red than usual. 

"Why's everything so complicated?" Michael asked, looking over at Lucifer. He could see his face more. His eyes were a little blood shot as well as red around the outside of them. "All we ever tried to do since Mom and Anna died was look after our three little brothers and now I can't even look after myself. I can't think straight. I don't even have to go to sleep to have a nightmare, one will pop up while I'm awake anyway. Everything's just gone so wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to mourn them but then get back on track and all that's happened was even more shit keeps coming our way. Raphael's coming for us and soon as well. He's not just going to sit in whatever cupboard he's locked himself in forever. He's ruthless but yet I still don't want him to get hurt. I don't want any of you to get hurt. I just hate this. I feel like we're just waiting for the next time someone tries to hurt or kill us and that is not the life Mom would have wanted for her kids and not the one Anna would have wanted for her little brothers" Michael unloaded, not being able to bottle so much up anymore. Lucifer had told him he could tell him anything and so he took that opportunity. "I'm sorry, I'm being stupid" Michael apologised, his exhaustion was making him more emotional by the second. 

"It's okay, you're not being stupid. You're right, Mom and Anna wouldn't want this for any of us but it happened and you know what? Despite all of that I think they would be proud of all of us too. We have looked after them as best we could, we even got shot trying to protect them, Gabriel's recovering and he's finally getting back to his old self, Balthazar is trying to be supportive of everyone and stay strong and then of course Cas has been so brave, he came out, has a boyfriend and just got his operation. Raphael is a problem that needs to be solved but we can come to that when he comes for us. If you think for one second that I would ever let him hurt any of you then you don't know me at all. I won't let him break you, Michael. If he touches any of you then he won't know what's hit him. I promise I will do anything I can to keep all of you safe. I don't know how to get rid of your nightmares, I wish I did. Maybe you could go to the doctors or something to get sleeping pills, I don't know if that would work but maybe it's worth a try. It can only get better from here, I mean Cas already got his sight back like, that's amazing! It's not gonna get worse, only better" Lucifer assured him and for once, he actually felt optimistic. Things really couldn't get worse, their lives had turned to shit over the past few months but Cas getting his sight back felt like hope to him. 

"I know you wouldn't let anyone touch us, trust me, I know you're a hard ass. I guess I could go to the doctors, maybe tomorrow. The whole family's going to end up on meds at this rate. Anyway...I'm good, I just needed to unload. I'm starving though, step on it" he insisted, completely changing the subject. Lucifer shot him a concerned glare before he started the engine and began to drive towards McDonalds. 

_______________________________________________________

Raphael watched the screen with a smug grin on his lips. When Crowley had put the picture on the car he also had put a tracking device on the car, near the wheel. This meant that his brothers couldn't see the tracker but Raphael could see exactly where they were going at all times. It would help him to know when the time was right to carry out his plan. 

He felt as if time was moving way too slowly for his liking. He wanted to carry out his plan as soon as possible but for that he needed Gabriel out of that institution which was exactly the reason why he also had Crowley drop a note into Gabriel's room while he was gone. Crowley was too sneaky to get caught. He had snook in and out of that place before, having his fair few times in there as a patient himself. If he did get caught Raphael knew it wouldn't be long until he would break out again. As if on cue Crowley entered the room, looking pleased with himself. "That places security is as bad as ever, I slipped in and out easily. The notes under his pillow and that place will be sending them all to bed in around two hours. He'll see it" Crowley informed him to which Raphael smirked. It was all going well. Nothing had gone wrong yet and he didn't intend for anything to go wrong. 

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel swallowed his anti anxiety, anti depressants and sleeping medication before the nurse left the room. He sat on the bed but wished it was his own. He hadn't been home for over a month and he couldn't stand it in here for much longer. He lay down, pulling the blanket up to his chin and closing his eyes before pushing a hand under his pillow. He opened his eyes again when he felt something under there. He sat up, confused before picking up his pillow and putting it on the floor to reveal a small scrap of paper with scrawls on it. He picked the piece of paper up before turning the lamp on. 

You better get out of this place in less than two weeks otherwise I WILL kill one of them. You won't know who or how I will do it but I will. If you tell anyone about this I will kill you. Don't keep me waiting. 

Your big brother,   
Raphael. 

Gabriel began to panic. How did Raphael get in his room? He quickly jumped up out of bed and looked under it, seeing no one was there. He felt so paranoid. He went to open his door, only to find it was locked. He quickly ripped up the piece of paper, throwing it down the toilet and flushing before he began to bang on the door to his room. He wasn't going to let Raphael tell him what to do but he wasn't going to tell his brothers, he would only tell one of them. He knew Lucifer would be his best bet. Michael was a mess, Balthazar was way too aggressive and Cas was in a happy place. Gabriel couldn't ruin that for him. Suddenly a nurse opened his door to find Gabriel sweating and panting. "What's wrong? Why are you making such a racket?" She asked him, annoyed. 

"I need to call my brother in private. Please. It's a personal family matter. I need him" Gabriel told her, his speech quick. 

"Gabriel, no. Go to sleep" she instructed him. He felt like she was treating him like he was crazy. He wasn't crazy. Not one bit. 

"Please! I will be silent all night just please let me call him. I promise I'll only be two minutes" he tried and her lips stiffened into a straight line. 

"Fine" she sighed in defeat, throwing her arms up. "Come on then" she said, walking in front of him but constantly looking back at him to ensure he hadn't ran off. "You should feel lucky I like you kiddo" she told him just as they reached the phones. "You wanted two minutes, right? I'm gonna go and check on the others and you call your brother, if you aren't here when I get back you will be going straight into isolation, do you understand?" She asked even though she trusted Gabriel. 

"Yeah, thanks you're a doll" he winked cheekily before she walked away and his panic set in again. He rushed to the phone and dialled Lucifer's number. Each ring felt like it lasted forever until finally he heard his brothers croaky voice on the end of the phone. "Luci, okay listen to me you can't tell anyone else about this phone call. I don't know whether he's listening or not so I can't tell you much but you need to come here tomorrow. I guess Michael and Balthazar can come but not when I tell you what I need to tell you. It's important, it's about Raphael. I don't care how you get them to let you in here but you do, okay?" He asked, wanting to ensure his brother understood what to do. 

"Okay, okay. Michael's going to the doctors tomorrow at like 11:30. Balthazar can go in with him instead of me and I'll rush down to there. Don't worry, I'll be there and it will be our secret. I promise. Just, you sound worried. Calm down, get some sleep. I will be there tomorrow no matter what. Until then you stay safe and when you're walking around that place don't walk alone. Stay safe and be careful" Lucifer told him just as the nurse appeared back round the corner. 

"I gotta go, bye" he quickly finished, hanging up the phone. She ushered for him to come over to her and he did, she escorted him back to his room. He flopped down on the bed. He had faith in Lucifer. He knew he wouldn't let him down. He wouldn't let Raphael push them around. He knew he could count on him for help. He just hoped Raphael wasn't smart enough to have tapped into the phone lines but it was worth the risk. He felt like Raphael wouldn't kill any of their brothers but he could take no chances. Not with someone as unpredictable as him.


	23. Broken and Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a pretty long chapter. Enjoy! I'll try and update as soon as I can!

Chapter Twenty Three: 

Cas opened his eyes, he had barely got any sleep. He was too amazed by the fact that he could actually see. It was amazing to him that he would wake up, open his eyes and not be greeted by darkness but rather by light and colours. He had yet to look in a mirror and see himself. He had seen himself on a picture from Lucifer's phone but not in the mirror just because he wasn't concerned about that right now. All he wanted to do was memorise the faces of his loved ones. If he could he would look at Dean all day long. He didn't know how he had managed to attract such a beautiful and amazing person but he wasn't going to complain. Gabriel always did tell him that Dean was hot. 

He heard the door open which interrupted his trail of thoughts. He picked up his glasses from the bedside table, unable to see who it was when they were so far away. He hoped it was Dean, he was taking Bobby, Sam, Ellen and Alastair to come and meet him. He placed his glasses and he saw Dean standing at the door way. The door slightly, but not fully closed behind him. "You ready to meet them angel face?" He asked, a smile on his face. 

"Of course I am! I've been waiting way too long for this" Cas told him enthusiastically. He knew he had technically already met Sam and Alastair but this time he would be able to see them. Dean opened the door slightly and a young boy with messy brown hair walked in. That had to be Sam. Dean placed his hands on the smaller boys shoulders. 

"This is s-" 

"Sam!" The younger boy finished before rushing over to Cas. "That is so cool that you can see now! Do you feel better after what happened?" He asked him, sitting right beside his bed. 

"Yes! I feel much better, thanks Sam" Cas smiled at him before looking over to Dean to see that a man with a scruffy beard and baseball cap was standing beside Dean. He guessed that was Bobby, no way that could be Alastair and certainly not Ellen. "Bobby?" Cas asked and the man nodded before walking over and sitting beside Sam. 

"Thank you so much for making Dean so happy. I can't thank you enough for that. From what Dean has told me you seen like an amazing kid so I'm real happy for you that you're recovering so well and that you got your sight back! It's like a miracle, but you deserve that miracle" Bobby told him, a small smile hiding under his beard. Dean was right. Bobby was great, Cas liked him already. 

"Alastair it's alright" Cas heard a female voice say just outside the door. A few seconds later a woman with brown hair who was pretty good looking for her age if Cas did say so himself stood right beside a tall boy with blue eyes and thin brown hair. He did look like a Novak. "I'm Ellen as you might have guessed and this here is Alastair. Last time I saw you kiddo you weren't looking too hot but now you look great! I'm so happy for you!" She enthused, dragging Alastair by the hand to the opposite side of Cas' bed. Dean closed the door and walked over to him, kissing his forehead with a smile on his lips and sitting down. "You're pretty too well done Dean, you got yourself a keeper" Ellen added to which Cas laughed but blushed slightly, sinking into his pillow. 

"Don't embarrass the boy!" Bobby scolded her, rolling his eyes. 

"Cas" Alastair muttered quietly. Cas looked over to him, the hot blush on his cheeks slowly fading. Alastair. Looked up from the floor and met his cousins eyes. Guilt hitting his chest. "I'm so sorry for everything I did to you. I feel sick just thinking about how much I put you through. Putting those pictures up around school and just everything else in between. I don't hate you and I never did I was just trying to stop my dad from beating me by doing what he said but by doing that I hurt you guys. I'm sorry for everything I've done and on my dad's behalf I'm so sorry for what he did to all of you. Nearly killing you, breaking Balthazar's arm, causing Gabriel to get PTSD again and shooting the twins. I'm so sorry for everything" he told him sincerely. His eyes wide and pleading as they looked into Cas' blue orbs. Cas could tell Alastair was being genuine and could tell he was remorseful. His brothers instincts were right, Alastair really was sorry. Cas trusted that. 

"If we had to apologise for everything our dads did we would be going on forever. You don't need to do that. I'm sorry we didn't realise what was happening to you and helped you sooner. Just know you are welcome in our family. You don't have to be alone anymore. Me and my brothers all know what it's like to lose your mother and have such an asshole as a father as well as an uncle. I'm sure if we knew what was happening sooner they would have got you out of there somehow. Lucifer has a way of fighting off people who he thinks are in the wrong" Cas assured him. Alastair felt so much relief at that. He was so happy that Cas forgave him just like his other cousins had. Cas was the person he was most worried about speaking to just due to how much he and his father had hurt him. "Don't worry about it Alastair. You're part of this messed up family now" Cas told him when he saw that his cousin was thinking too much. Cas knew what that could do to you. "Dean, can I call Luci on your phone? I want to see how Michael is doing and see when they're coming up" Cas asked, looking over at Dean. 

"Of course" Dean smiled at him. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and just gave it to Cas to let him figure out how to work the phone. "Go onto contacts and find Luci's name" Dean instructed him. It felt weird that a teenager couldn't work a phone but Cas had an excuse. The last time he had saw a phone they were pretty crappy phones compared to iPhones and samsungs. Cas did as he was told, it didn't take him to look to find his brother's name. He clicked on the number and the phone began to ring. 

"Hello?" Lucifer's voice sounded through the phone. 

"Luci, it's Cas. What time are you guys coming up to the hospital? Dean, Alastair, Ellen, Bobby and Sam are all here too" Cas reminded him. 

"I just dropped Michael and Balthazar off at the doctors. Hopefully he'll get some sleeping tablets or something. I'm just waiting in the car for them" Lucifer lied as he sped down the road to get to Gabriel. 

"Is Michael alright?" Cas asked and heard his brother sigh at the other end of the phone. Cas hated it when one of the twins were hurting because the other seemed a little lost without the help of their twin. 

"He...No. He was in a real bad way this morning. He was sitting in the bathroom shaking and crying because he had a dream about when me and him...When we turned off Anna's life support" Lucifer informed him, a slight tremble to his voice. He was upset by the memory as well as the fact that when he did find Michael he just kept saying that he was a murderer. It took a while to calm him down, ever since then he had been really quiet. 

"Poor Michael. Be sure to look after him. I'm worried about him. Have you heard off Gabriel? Is he alright?" Cas asked. He would ask how Lucifer was but he knew he would just lie and say he was fine. 

"Gabriel just wants to get out of there as soon as humanly possible" Lucifer told him as he pulled up in the car park of the hospital. "My phones running out of battery so I gotta go kiddo. Have fun hanging with those guys. We should be there at around 12 as long as Michael's doctors appointment doesn't take too long. See you later" Lucifer hurried before putting the phone down. 

"Bye" Cas said before handing the phone back to Dean. "Like I said Alastair, welcome to this messed up family." 

_______________________________________________________

Lucifer locked the car before running towards the hospital entrance. He quickly ran towards the way of which he knew the patients sat sometimes, he had told Gabriel to be somewhere he would be able to find him and that was the best bet. He could hear nurses shouting at him but he ignored their calls. He ran there. All of the patients looking at him before he saw Gabriel quickly stand up, grab his hand and drag him away. They ran down the corridor until they reached a room, which Lucifer presumed was Gabriel's. He quickly put a chair against the door and turned to Lucifer. "We don't have much time and I'm pretty sure I shouldn't tell you about this but I need to. When I went to bed last night there was a note under my pillow. It said that if I didn't get out of here in two weeks then Raphael would kill one of you. I don't know why he wants me out but he does. I just had to warn you but I couldn't do it over the phone in case he was listening. It also said that if I told anyone then he would Uh...Kill me" at that Lucifer's breath hitched. There was no way in hell he would let Raphael lay a hand on his brother. 

"He isn't going to touch you because I'm breaking you out of here tonight, okay? You need to get put into isolation, alright? That's where Raphael escaped from. I'll find that fire exit, break the door down or if I can't I'll knock it so you can hear and then you need to get the doctor to open your door, get out of the room and run out of that door and I will drive you home, do you understand me? I'm not going to let him touch you or any of us, okay?" Lucifer explained, reassuring him. 

"Thank you Luci" Gabriel smiled at him, they could hear the bangs coming from the other side of the door as the doctors and nurses tried to get in. 

"I have to go, I need to get back to Michael and Balthazar before they realise I'm gone. Stay safe until then, okay? Get put into isolation as soon as you can, you're always monitored in there. There's no way he could get you" Lucifer told him. "How he hell do I get out of here?" Lucifer asked realising a lot of doctors and nurses were at the door. Gabriel looked around, panicked for a second before he hit the fire alarm button in his room. A piercing ringing noise sounded throughout the whole hospital, most of the doctors and nurses voices vanished as they rushed around to get everybody out. Only two remained at the door. Gabriel pushed Lucifer to the side of the door so they wouldn't be able to see him before he moved the chair and opened the door. Both of the nurses grabbed onto him to restrain him before dragging him down the corridor. Lucifer saw this as his chance. He quickly rushed down the hall way. Every one was in too much of a panic to look twice at him. Some patients were even screaming and crying. Lucifer quickly slid out of the door, going undetected before getting in his car, panting and sweating. He started the engine, quickly getting out of there. 

As he drove he realised that he might have to tell Michael and Balthazar about this. If he was going to get Gabriel he couldn't just bring him home without an explanation. He needed to tell them something but Gabriel had told him not to tell them. He just hoped he would get back before they got out. 

_______________________________________________________

"I'm going to prescribe you with anti anxiety medication as well as sleeping pills. You'll need to take the anti anxieties twice a day. You'll have two in the morning and two at the same time you take the sleeping pills" the doctor instructed but Michael just seemed to zone out, not being able to get last nights nightmare out of his head. 

"Michael" Balthazar's voice sounded and Michael looked to him blankly. He felt so numb. He would rather feel anything than the emptiness he felt right now. 

"Come back next week and we will see how you're doing and if you need a stronger dosage. I would prescribe you with anti depressants too but the anxiety seems to be the cause of your nightmares. If this doesn't improve your mood then you may have to have those too. You're free to go, just make sure he has them at the right times, okay?" The doctor asked Balthazar who simply nodded before he stood up. 

"Thanks" Michael muttered, standing up but immediately feeling dizzy. He held his head in his hands and felt his brother grab his arm. "I'm okay" he said, looking over at Balthazar who hesitantly let go of Michael's arm. "See you next week" Michael waved before he opened the door and walked outside. He saw Lucifer sitting in the car looking bored but he perked up when he saw Michael. Balthazar lingered behind him carrying Michael's medication. They walked out to the car, Michael sitting in the passenger seat and Balthazar in the back. 

"He's got anti anxiety and sleeping pills. He's gotta go back next week to see if he needs anti depressants too" Balthazar told Lucifer who's mood seemed to sink further. He had only just about made it back on time, just seconds before Michael saw him in the car. Lucifer didn't want to tell Michael about Gabriel. He didn't want to hurt him even more. 

"Do you still want to go and see Cassie?" Lucifer asked, looking over at his twins vacant expression. He could have sworn Michael's eyes were glazed over. "Michael, you didn't kill Anna, okay?" Lucifer told him, he knew his twin was thinking about it, he could just tell. He saw a tear silently fall down Michael's cheek, he didn't even bother to wipe it away. 

"I did" Michael simply replied, his voice quiet. He let the tear fall onto his hand. "Can we just go and see Cas?" Michael asked, looking over at Lucifer. He sighed but nodded before he started the car engine, heading to the hospital. 

Balthazar sat in the back seat looking between the twins. They were both so worn out. He couldn't stand seeing his brothers like this, especially Michael. He seemed like a different person now and the dream he had last night had traumatised him. He didn't tell them many details about it, just the fact that it was about turning Anna's life support off, that was all he was willing to share. He felt helpless. He was the only one at home with the twins so had no one to help him make them feel better. Although Lucifer would never admit it he needed help too so Balthazar had to give him help in subtle ways, just anything to decrease his stress levels. He didn't even know how to help Michael anymore. He seemed so lost. He had tried everything he could think of to make Michael feel better but nothing really helped. Lucifer was still telling him he needed him everyday and that seemed to perk his mood up a little every time he did say it.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at the hospital, it wasn't that far away from the doctors. They all got up out of the car, Lucifer locking the car once they all got out. There was an uneasy tension between all of them. They were all on edge about something as they walked through the entrance of the hospital. Lucifer led the way with Balthazar walking beside Michael as if ready to catch him if he fell, it felt like he could just break at any moment. They reached Cas' room and Lucifer opened the door, hearing laughter as he did walk in. He was happy that Cas was at least in a good environment. It was better than him being at home with the way things were going on. "Hey guys!" Cas smiled when he saw Lucifer walk into the room, when Cas caught a glimpse of Michael he felt his heart sink a little. He looked even more exhausted than the previous day. "Michael" Cas sighed, sitting up more. His older brother looked over to him, his eyes dark but he forced a smile on his face. 

"I'm okay" he lied. Even Bobby could tell this kid was lying and he had never even met him before. Cas had pre warned them that Michael may seem down. He took a seat beside Lucifer, Balthazar sitting on the other side of him. "How you feeling Cas?" Michael asked, filling the awkward silence in the room. He felt as if when they walked in they had just sucked the fun out of the atmosphere. 

"I'm good, great actually. I'm just worried about you" Cas admitted, tilting his head a little. "Did you get meds from the doctor or anything?" He asked, concerned about his brother. He had never seem Michael looking so down. 

"I gotta go back next week to see if I need anti depressants but yeah. I got sleeping pills and anti anxiety meds. Hopefully they will just get rid of this nightmare crap" he shrugged. He was trying to play it cool but they all knew he was praying that the medications worked otherwise he wouldn't know what to do anymore. What do you do if medications don't fix you? 

"I hope they work. I want you to be my annoying older brother again" Cas sighed, at that Michael seemed to have a small glimmer of life in his eyes again. He didn't want his little brother to feel like that. Michael knew first hand what it was like to want your brother back to how he usually acts and he just didn't want Cas to feel that. He wanted him to be happy, he deserved it. 

"I'm sorry Cas. I'm trying, I promise. Trust me I want to just be an annoying older brother again too" he admitted. He hated feeling this way. He just wanted to act like his regular self again instead of having Lucifer and Balthazar on edge all the time as if waiting for Michael to crack.

"Uh...This might sound kind of weird but when my Dad used to constantly beat me I had a phase where I had nightmares like that and just could never sleep. It was horrible. Of course I couldn't go to the doctors for it because we all know he was an asshole but I used to like distract myself before I went to bed because you'd just always be dreading going to sleep. Like read a book until you literally just knock out or listen to music while you go to sleep. I mean, it might not even help but you could try it. It didn't make mine go completely but it helped them stop being so frequent. You've got siblings too like, just talk about it seriously. I would have killed for someone to talk to about it. Be thankful you have your brothers man, being an only child sucks" Alastair advised, trying to help his cousin. He felt as if he should say something, after all they were family and he didn't want Michael to hurt like that either. There was no way Michael deserved to deal with that as well as everything else that was going on. 

"I do appreciate them even though I'm an asshole to them sometimes" Michael informed him, a small smile on his face as he looked at the three brothers he had in the room. He wished Gabriel was also there but for now three brothers rather than four would have to do. "Thanks though, I will try that. Hopefully it will help" he smiled at his cousin who looked as if he was feeling a lot better. He was a lot less skinny than when they had first met him, it was like he was malnourished before and now he was putting weight on which was good. He had a genuine tone to his voice as well as a unfamiliar shine in his eyes. "Hey, Ellen" Michael addressed as the only female in the room turned her eyes to him. "Thanks for taking care of him, it means a lot to us" he smiled gratefully at her despite his dark eyes which showed anything but joy. 

"Don't be silly! I know about some of the hardships you boys have been through and what you're going through now. Trust me, it's my pleasure. He's a good kid and you boys deserve a break" she waved him off. They did deserve a break, Michael thought, but he didn't think they would be getting one anytime soon. It was almost as if their whole family was cursed. It's a curse to be born as a Novak. Even though he hated Zachariah even he had to admit he had been through a lot, he was cursed, just like the rest of them. They had all lost someone close to them or were already dead. He hated it. He felt like he would either end up dead or end up having to watch as everyone around him died, he preferred the first option. 

Michael suddenly snapped out of his thoughts, realising he had been day dreaming and looked up to see Cas was on Lucifer's phone again, he seemed so fascinated by smart phones. He looked around to everyone in the room, they were all focused on and laughing at Cas trying to work the phone, everyone except Balthazar who's eyes met his older brothers. He had concern etched on his face but Michael just threw him a fake smile and looked away towards Cas. "Do you know what a selfie is?" Sam asked as he leaned over Cas. 

"I've heard of it but I don't really know what it is" Cas shrugged obliviously. He had heard the term thrown around at school but he never really understood what it meant to take a selfie. Sam clicked on the camera icon on the phone before Cas' face suddenly appeared on the screen in live action. This was pretty much the first time Cas had seen himself since regaining his sight. "My hairs messy" he mumbled trying to sort it out. 

"You look fine, trust me" Dean winked causing Sam and Balthazar to both 'eww' at the same time. "He does!" Dean defended himself, throwing his arms in the air. 

"Just tell me what a selfie is, I still don't get it" Cas suddenly said, not wanting a conversation flowing about his looks. Sam leaned over again and took hold of the phone. He lifted the phone up so they were both on the screen before taking the picture. 

"That's a selfie. It can have more than two people in it or it can just be you on your own" Sam told him and Dean watched them with a smile. He loved seeing Sam and Cas interacting. Two of his favourite people got along and Dean couldn't be happier. 

"Basically it just means to take a picture of yourself or you with other people then, right?' Cas asked, tilting his head to the side. 

"Yeah you got it" Sam told him sitting back down beside Dean. Cas looked back at the screen for just a split moment before the camera suddenly went off and was interrupted by a different screen. 

"It says Gabriel's hospital is calling you" Cas read before looking up at Lucifer. His eyes widened at that, what did they want? He quickly stood up and took his phone before answering the call. 

"Hello?" Lucifer spoke, walking away from the others towards the opposite end of the room. "What!?" He suddenly shouted, panicked which made everyone turn to him with concern. "No, no, no" he muttered, grabbing some of his hair. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked genuinely scared. Lucifer wasn't afraid of anything. Something was really wrong. "How could you let this happen!?" He questioned, shouting at whoever was on the other end of the phone. "Okay, bye" he breathed before putting the phone down and looking to everyone. He had tears in his eyes. The last time anyone had seen Lucifer look so afraid was when their father was around. 

"What's wrong? What happened?" Cas asked, breaking the silence as he sat up further in his bed. Lucifer opened his mouth but no words came out. Michael stood up, cautiously walking towards his twin. Lucifer suddenly leaped forward and hugged Michael who was taken back by this but hugged him back. Lucifer clutched onto Michael, holding onto his clothes as if to try and make him stay. He released him from the hug as quickly as he had embraced him. Michael moved to the side slightly so he was still in Lucifer's eye line but could speak to the others too. He looked at his two youngest brothers, looks of worry and concern on their faces. 

"He's...Raphael...He's got Gabriel" Lucifer said simply before hearing all of his brothers gasp in Union. Michael's hand flew over his mouth as he tried to contain himself. "For you guys to understand I just need to make something clear. Last night Gabriel called me, telling me something was wrong and that I couldn't tell any one else, not even you guys. That I had to go and visit him today so when you two were in the doctors I went to the hospital"...

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel opened his heavy eye lids, his head was pounding and his vision was blurry. He felt like he had an extreme hangover. He tried to move but realised he was strapped down to an old wooden chair. He tried to scream but there was tape over his mouth, that was when he began to panic. He had no idea where he was. He began to struggle against the ropes that tied his arms and legs to the chair. He soon came crashing down to the floor, it was no use. 

As soon as he fell he felt a warm liquid against his face. His vision went blurry again. He could see a blur of red and so guessed he was bleeding. His eyes begged to close but he fought to keep them open, breathing heavily. "I told you not to tell anyone" that familiar voice he hated so much drawled. He tried to look up at him but everything was so blurry. All he could see was a tall figure standing over him. He suddenly saw a bright flash to which he squinted his eyes before hearing a shutter sound, he was pretty sure Raphael had just taken a picture of him in this state. He was broken and bound. He felt so weak. His whole body ached and he could feel the blood oozing from his head. He suddenly felt himself being bought back up to a sitting position. 

Raphael took yet another snapshot before pocketing his phone. "Our brothers are going to go out of their minds when they see these" he laughed slightly before he ripped the tape from Gabriel's mouth. "You can't die though, I won't let you" Raphael told him. He crouched down to his younger brother, cradling his head in one of his hands. Gabriel tried to shy away from his hand but he had nowhere to go. "Relax, drink this" he insisted before pressing a bottle to Gabriel's lips. He wanted the water but he was hesitant. Raphael could have done anything to the drink "It's not poison if that's what you're thinking. Believe it or not I don't want you dead. You're my brother, I wouldn't kill you" he assured him. Gabriel's vision just seemed to focus properly at that second and, for the first time in a long time, Raphael had a real genuine look on his face. He felt as if he could even see a hint of sympathy in his eyes but, then again, that could just be wishful thinking. Gabriel tipped his head back slightly, Raphael's hand still on the side of his face as he slowly tipped the drink down so that Gabriel could drink. The cold liquid soothed his sore, dry throat. 

As soon as he was done drinking Raphael actually moved the drink away rather than try to force him to drink more. "What did you do to me?" Gabriel asked as Raphael stood up and crossed the room, searching for something. 

"Well that fire alarm was the perfect distraction. Thanks for that. I knew as soon as I sent you that note you would call Luci. I'm not stupid. The death threats were just to scare you. When you set that fire alarm off and everyone was panicking, I don't know if you remember but you got dragged outside by these nurses but they let go of you to go to those crying patients. The ones sensitive to loud noises or scared of fire. They started to ignore you and that was when we took our chance. Me and my friend, we used chloroform to knock you out and drag you around the corner of the building which wasn't too hard. You're tiny. We just put you in the back seat of our car that we parked on the other side of the hospital and drove away. Of course we let the CCTV capture us. That's part of the fun" he explained, a small smile on his face before he walked over to Gabriel with a first aid kit. He opened it before taking out antiseptic wipes and using them to clean Gabriel's wound. Gabriel flinched at the stinging sensation. He was so confused about why Raphael was being so kind to him, besides the fact he had kidnapped him and taken him hostage, of course. 

"Why aren't you just torturing me? This doesn't seem like your style" Gabriel asked him as he began to put a couple of gauges on the injury. 

"Because, little brother, I don't want to hurt you. Honestly I don't. Last time when I hurt you it was because you caught me at a bad time. I'm guessing the doctors told you I have IED. You happened to appear in the middle of one of my explosive episodes. No matter how much you and I dislike each other we're still brothers and that will always stand. That will stand for the others when I capture them too" he told him, as if he was trying to be reassuring. 

"Don't touch them Raphael, I swear to god don't you dare" Gabriel warned. He knew he wasn't exactly in the best position to be delivering threats but it was worth a shot. Raphael breathed a laugh at that before he ruffled Gabriel's hair. 

"Oh Gabriel, I'm not going to be hurting them, or you, my friend is the one who'll be doing that. I'll just make sure he doesn't go too far or kills you. He's got quite the temper. I've got my IED under control for a while until the medication he stole from the pharmacy runs out. That whole sociopath thing though, that still stands so don't test me. I love you but I will break you if you try anything" he threatened and Gabriel felt like this time, it wasn't an empty threat. 

"If you loved me or cared about me at all then you wouldn't be doing any of this. I don't know how you think the right way to show affection is but tying someone to a chair and kidnapping them isn't exactly the best way to show you care about them" Gabriel tried, he didn't think it would work but it was worth a try. That seemed to just piss Raphael off. He punched his younger brother across the face, causing a tiny amount of blood to trickle out of his mouth. 

"Like I said. Don't test me Gabriel. It gets much worse" Raphael warned him before he once again cupped Gabriel's face. He leaned forward and kissed his brothers forehead before hastily standing up and turning away from him. "Crowley!" Raphael called and almost immediately a beam of light shone through a crack in the door. The light was soon gone as Gabriel saw a dark figure approach him. He was wearing all black and had a murderous look in his eyes. 

"Hello Gabriel" he smiled, his British accent making him seem even more intimidating for some reason. Gabriel looked over to Raphael who sat on a stool to the side. 

"Remember our agreement Crowley. Don't hurt him so much that he needs a hospital, don't mess with the scars on his wrists and don't you dare try to kill him or you're dead" Raphael warned him, pulling out a gun. Gabriel's eyes widened at that. He was surrounded by psychopaths. "Don't worry Gabriel I'm not gonna shoot you. Only him if he tries anything" Raphael assured him, staring holes into the back of Crowley's head. 

Crowley just shrugged it off. It was as if he didn't even care he was at gun point. He stood and walked over to a table that Gabriel hadn't even realised was there. He picked up a small pen knife as well as more duct tape. He cut the duct tape, quickly placing it over Gabriel's mouth. "Can't have you screaming the house down" Crowley smiled to him before he drew the knife. Gabriel tried to lean back away from the knife, panic setting in. Crowley seemed to feed off his fear. He held the chair down so the boy wouldn't fall back before he pressed the knife to Gabriel's cheek, sliding it down his face. "It's been way too long since I've done that" he smiled before he ripped open Gabriel's shirt and made another cut, this one deeper and longer. Gabriel let out a strangled cry and just looked up to the ceiling. He wanted help. He silently begged for someone to help him but he didn't believe in miracles. He knew he was going to be stuck here for a while.

He scrunched his eyes shut as Crowley made another cut down his arm, a sick smile on his face. "Hey!" Raphael shouted in a warning tone. Crowley turned around, annoyed. "You're getting dangerously close to his scars" he reminded him. Crowley just sighed but didn't seem too phased. 

"You're lucky your big brothers here to protect you" Crowley growled near his ear before he stood up, going back to the table. This time he pulled out a rope. He stood behind Gabriel before he wrapped the rope around his neck. He began to squeeze for short five second intervals at a time. The bruises that Gabriel already had on his neck burned with pain. A silent tear fell down his face and Gabriel could have sworn he saw Raphael wipe his own eyes. How could either of them last with this going on? 

_______________________________________________________

"Well maybe you should have told us about Gabriel then!" Balthazar shouted in Lucifer's face. Lucifer held his cheek where Balthazar had punched him just a few moments before. Ellen quickly and quietly ushered Sam out of the room, leaving with him. "Fuck you! This is your fault, you know!?" Balthazar continued, pointing his finger accusingly at his older brother. Michael didn't even intervene. He understood Balthazar's anger. He didn't even blame him. 

"Balthazar listen to m-" 

"No! I'm sick and tired of listening to you! You listen to me, okay!? Our mentally ill brother is out there somewhere probably being tortured by our psychopath of a brother! Raphael's going to mess him up in every sense of the word and you know what could have stopped this? Is if you told us and we all broke him out of there earlier!" Balthazar argued his point. Looking into the sorrow filled blue eyes of his older brother. He didn't feel any sympathy. Rage overtook him. "I hate you!" He blurted out pushing him but he felt himself becoming weak as his rage mixed with fear. "I hate you" he repeated a little quieter, pushing Lucifer again but he didn't move much, Balthazar's shoves were weak as he began to let tears fall down his cheeks. Lucifer didn't say anything he just grabbed hold of his brother and pulled him towards him, he held him, trying to calm him down. Balthazar struggled a little at first but after a few seconds he actually appreciated the comfort he buried his head into Lucifer's shoulder but didn't hug him back, he just cried as Lucifer tried to soothe him. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm going to make it right, I promise" Lucifer tried, looking over to the others in the room. Bobby and Alastair had moved to sit beside Michael who seemed unresponsive to any sort of help They were trying to offer. Alastair had his hand on Michael's shoulder while Cas was crying into Dean's chest. Lucifer couldn't believe it. What had he done? "I'm going to fix this" Lucifer muttered into Balthazar's hair as he cradled him in an attempt to calm him down. 

After a few minutes of silence Balthazar finally lifted his arms and hugged his older brother back. Lucifer sighed with relief at that. He wouldn't be able to cope with one of his brothers missing as well as one who hated his guts. "We're going to find him" Michael's voice sounded throughout the room just before Balthazar let go of Lucifer and turned around to face Michael. The tear tracks stained his cheeks and his eyes were still wet and bloodshot. "If we don't find him I swear I will kick you out of our house" Michael warned, looking up at his twin. "He's out there, probably being hurt without his meds. The quicker we find him the better. He needs his meds, especially if Raphael's messing with his head" Michael seemed to say to no one in particular but it hit all of them. Gabriel was so close to getting out of the hospital and now he was stuck with a sociopath without any medication to help him through. 

Lucifer had never felt so guilty in his entire life. 

_______________________________________________________

"That's enough for today Crowley" Raphael told him, hopping off his stool and holding the gun to Crowley's head as he continued to punch Gabriel. He felt the barrel of the gun against the side of his head before he retracted his hands and lifted them up in surrender. 

"See you tomorrow kid" Crowley laughed before he walked up the stairs towards the door. Raphael took yet another picture of Gabriel. It was so degrading and humiliating and there was nothing he could do about it. Raphael once again ripped the tape off Gabriel's mouth before giving him water which Gabriel soon spat out to try and wash the taste of blood out of his mouth. 

"When our brothers find you. You're gonna regret this" Gabriel told him before he spat in Raphael's face as his only defence mechanism. Before he tried to struggle against the rope holding him down. Raphael wiped the blood filled spit from his face and closed his eyes as if to try and control his temper. "Why don't you just do it, huh? Just kill me, you said you loved me, right? Well guess what, I hate you. No one does this to anyone. I wouldn't have even done this to dad. I wouldn't have imagined doing anything so terrible. I'm asking you right now. Brother to brother. Just kill me. I would rather be dead than have to deal with your mind games and this torture day in day out. Go o-" he was cut off by a punch to the face. 

"Don't you dare say that again! I'm not going to kill you and I won't let anyone else kill you either. You are not dying, okay!?" Raphael almost ordered him. Gabriel looked up at him just trying to understand Raphael's intentions but he didn't understand. That was the worst part. The fact he didn't understand why he was doing this. "Get some sleep" Raphael mumbled, putting yet another piece of tape over his mouth before he left the room, leaving him in almost complete darkness besides the window where the moons light emitted through. Gabriel just looked around the empty room. How did he ever get into this mess? He just wanted to go home. He wanted to feel safe again. 

There was no way he was expected to sleep like this, he was sitting upright and the ropes were hurting both his wrists and ankles. He just scanned the room for hours just hoping help would come but it never did. He was stuck here.


	24. Escape Route

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter as well as a quick update! This chapter is a little fast paced but it had to be to fit all the relevant parts in. Thank you so much for all the comments, kudos and hits! You guys are the best. Thankyou for sticking with the story!

Chapter Twenty Four: 

It had been a week since Gabriel went missing with no more than a picture of their brother, bleeding, tied up and bound sent to them. Raphael hadn't even sent a note to accompany it, just the picture. Balthazar was the one who ended up finding it. As soon as he did he raced upstairs to Lucifer practically pushing the picture into his face. Although he didn't entirely blame Lucifer anymore he was still mad at him and so was Michael. There was an uneasy tension in the Novak residence. 

They were all hell bent on rescuing Gabriel but especially Lucifer. He thought he got Gabriel into this and so he had to get him out. On the same day Gabriel was captured Lucifer had told him that he wouldn't let Raphael lay a hand on him and now his younger brother had been missing for a whole week. He had been tied up and stuck for a week without medication. They were all afraid of what he would be like when they found him and hey would find him. No matter what it took. 

On the other hand Cas was getting better every single day which was the only positive in any of their lives right now. He'd started to walk and being able to do things for himself again. It was a struggle but he persevered. It upset all of them that Gabriel was unable to share this milestone with them, that he was probably stuck in a dark room with little to eat and drink. None of them knew whether he was dead or alive. For all they knew he could have died by now. There was one thing they all knew for sure though, once they got their hands on Raphael they would show no mercy. Michael still felt sympathy for Raphael even but he wouldn't let him off easily. There was no way. 

Michael's anxiety levels had hit the roof since Gabriel disappeared. The anti anxiety pills did help him but he felt like he needed more, a higher dosage. He would have panic attacks every couple of days which weren't induced by nightmares for once but rather just the thought of his brother locked up and potentially being tortured. He couldn't bare the thought yet alone the fact Raphael had sent a picture to them which they immediately took to Ellen. 

She was helping them a lot, she was a cop so she had inside information. She told them everything the cops wouldn't. She didn't think it was right that they withheld information from Gabriel's own brothers. Bobby, who hadn't even met Gabriel, had offered a reward for finding him but so far the only people who had called him were just assholes looking for some money. They all just wanted to find him and make sure he was alright. That was all any of them cared about at this point. 

_______________________________________________________

"Wake up...Gabriel...Come on" Gabriel heard the familiar voice of his older brother echoing in front of him. He was so exhausted. The only times he slept were when he physically couldn't keep his eyes open anymore which was rare since he couldn't sleep in the uncomfortable chair he had been sitting in for practically a week straight. His whole body ached and every single time he moved he felt pain. Crowley had really done what he was supposed to. Hurt him, but not so much he needed hospital. Being hurt like that every single day was Gabriel's version of hell. It felt eerily similar to when their father was around but his beatings weren't as planned out as the ones Crowley had delivered. "Gabriel" Raphael's voice called again, a familiar hand on his shoulder. Gabriel opened his swollen black eyes, able to see his brother in front of him.

"Take your hand off me" Gabriel warned him passive aggressively. Raphael almost looked saddened by this before he retracted his hand. Gabriel was still stuck in the same bloody, torn up clothes he had been wearing for a week. His hair was matted with both fresh and old, dried up blood. He didn't know how much a human body could take of just someone slicing into you before it eventually just gave up but he was sure it would be quite a long time. Raphael was still giving him water and light snacks so there was no chance of him dying of dehydration or starvation. 

"Look at this" Raphael said, interrupting his thoughts before holding up a missing poster for him. It had a picture of him smiling, he felt as if he probably didn't even look like that anymore. If he went outside like this people would probably think he had killed someone or that he was a psycho homeless person. On the poster it also said that there was a reward of up to $20,000. There was no way his brothers had that kind of money, they pretty much survived off their parents inheritance and they couldn't afford that. "They're so stupid, thinking they can find you if I don't want you found" Raphael laughed lightly before he held up a bottle of water. 

"Well when you do want me found I hope you have fun having the living shit beat out of you. You know I kind of felt sorry for you before. Just a little but now I don't feel anything. I don't even know who you are anymore. You aren't the brother I grew up with. He would never have dreamed of doing anything this fucked up. How can you just sit in your little stool over there and watch Crowley cut me open and make me bleed then just come over here, clean me up a little and leave. Don't try and play protective big brother with me. My real brothers are at home clearly worried and probably can't wait to get their hands on you" Gabriel blurted out. He couldn't stand seeing the same two faces and hearing the same two voices day in day out. Raphael stood at that and slapped his brother hard across the face, adding to the bruises accumulated over his face. There was barely any skin left unharmed on his face. He was either cut open or painted in purple bruises so it wasn't like the slap made much of a difference. Raphael grabbed him by his clothes, forcing him to lean forward slightly. 

"I am your real brother, like it or not and you will not speak to me like that. I could kill you but I let you live because I am looking out for you. Crowley would kill you in a heartbeat but I won't let that happen" Raphael argued back, dangerously close to Gabriel's face. 

"Well then Crowley's kinder than you are. I'd prefer to die than have to deal with this torture for another second" he confessed. He wasn't even doing it to try and piss Raphael off. He meant it. Being tortured was getting way too brutal. Each and every day Crowley got worse with his beatings as well as getting more warnings from Raphael. Crowley had even nearly stabbed him at one point but Raphael had knocked him down to snap him out of his murderous rage. He had actually stabbed him but with just the tip of the knife. He was ready to plunge the knife all the way into him but that was when Raphael intervened. 

Raphael stood up, getting angry with his brother but he had to refrain from hurting him. The most he would do to him was punch and slap him when he got angry. It was Crowley's job to really hurt him, not Raphael's. He was finding the whole process more difficult than he thought he would. Some nights he just wanted to let Gabriel go, he had strongly considered it but he forced himself not to. He knew nothing good would come of just letting him go free. This was all part of his plan. So far things were going well with only slight slip ups which were so insignificant that they didn't even matter. Nothing had changed, his plan was in motion and it was going perfectly. "Crowley!" Raphael shouted before the familiar man strode down the stairs, the same sadistic smile on his face that he had since day one of this process was plastered on his smug face. 

"Hey there Gabriel" Crowley smiled at him, ruffling the younger boys hair. Gabriel just rolled his eyes, trying to slightly back away from Crowley's touch but it was impossible to move still. "Don't roll your eyes at me, boy. I own you. You're like my very own living doll" he smiled to him, not forgetting to pull at his hair before he moved his hand away. Crowley grabbed the duct tape, about to put it over Gabriel's mouth when Gabriel bit his finger as hard as he could. Blood came spurting out of his finger and anger flared in his eyes. He growled in pain before he clenched the knife in his uninjured hand and cut a long, deep cut across his cheek. "You fucking little shit!" He shouted in Gabriel's face as blood dropped from his face to the floor. He stormed back over to the table, grabbing a pair of pliers. He stomped back over to him before he kneeled down, keeping away from Gabriel's mouth. He opened the pliers before gripping them onto the tip of the nail on Gabriel's index finger. He began to pull and wiggle the nail, blood oozing from the corners. Gabriel began to make loud cries of pain as the duct tape wasn't on his mouth for once. Crowley soon pulled the nail clean off. Gabriel looked down at the bloody mess on his hand and began to shake slightly. His anxiety setting in once again. Not being able to take his medication had taken a toll on him for the worse, especially in this environment. 

Crowley looked at the bloody nail in the pliers with pride. Raphael sat at the side on the edge of his seat. Watching Crowley while he was in the zone was like watching a unpredictable horror movie. He was full of surprises and always had a trick up his sleeve. Raphael found him rather intriguing while Gabriel just wanted nothing more than to beat the crap out of him. 

Gabriel was still shaking, he couldn't stop it. He kept staring at the blood dripping from his hand and onto the floor. There were dried up patches of blood stained on the concrete floor everywhere around his chair. Crowley was about to go back for more when Raphael rushed over to him and stood in front of him, the gun in his left hand ready if he needed it. "Why don't you go and get cleaned up" Raphael suggested to which Crowley just rolled his eyes before he turned away, walking up the stairs, applying pressure to his injured finger. As soon as the room was silent Raphael could immediately hear Gabriel's erratic breathing and turned to him. He was visibly shaking, staring at the blood dripping from his finger and he was squirming in his seat. 

"Gabriel, look at me" Raphael instructed but he continued to stare at his wound. Raphael snapped his fingers in Gabriel's face, who looked up at Raphael panic stricken. "Calm down, I can get him to give you a break for a while if you need it" he told him, yet again trying to act like some sort of protective older brother and Gabriel hated it. 

"What I want is for you to let me the hell out of this shit hole! Do you not care about me at all!? What the hell did I ever do to you that made you hate me so much because I'd love to fucking know why I deserve to be tortured. Go on, give me one good reason" Gabriel demanded, his panic seeming to fade a little as anger overtook him. 

"Because it's your fault my mother died" he said plainly. Gabriel seemed offended at that. How dare he even suggest that to him. 

"Me!? I wasn't even there! Lucifer, Michael and Balthazar all ran out of school, stole a car and put themselves in danger to try and protect you! I was at home taking care of Cassie! We were all worried sick when we found out Zachariah was going to try and kill you. I would never have any part in killing someone yet alone my own brothers Mom! Especially not after we already lost my mom and Anna. There is no way you can even try to pin this on me! On anyone except Zach. That bastard killed her, shot Michael, shot Luci, broke Balthazar's arm and damn near killed Cassie. Don't you dare try and blame this on anyone besides him. He was a monster and you're turning into him. You're just like father" Gabriel ranted, once again pissing his sociopath of a brother off. He had to stop doing that. 

"I am nothing like him. Don't you ever compare me to him!" He barked, getting in Gabriel's face. 

"Prove it. Let me go man, it's not like I can even tell them where this place is. I don't know where the hell we are. You can even knock me out with that chloroform shit and leave me somewhere and I will find my way back somehow. I don't care. If you really care about me you would do that for me" Gabriel tried, looking up at his brother with pleading eyes, Raphael had to look away from him. He couldn't look into his eyes. 

"Nice try" Raphael muttered before he simply turned away and walked up the stairs away from him. Gabriel watched as he left. He sighed but quickly realised they had forgotten to put duct tape over his mouth. This was his chance. He bent down, using his teeth to try and undo the knots in the ropes which bound his hands to the chair. He tugged one of his hands free before quickly turning to the other. For the first time since he had been here he had hope. He felt like he might actually be able to get out. 

_______________________________________________________

Michael walked out of the doctors, getting into the silent car. Balthazar once again in the back seat while Lucifer drove. "What did you get?" Lucifer asked looking down at the new box of medication Michael was holding. 

"Higher dose of anxiety meds. He said, and I quote, if you don't get a higher dose there's a possibility I might have a nervous breakdown" Michael told him, looking accusingly at his twin. Lucifer couldn't stand the way Balthazar and Michael looked at him anymore. They looked at him like he was a burden. It was as if he was enemy number one. 

"Michael I'm sorry" he tried but Michael just looked away from him. 

"Save it for when you apologise to Gabriel for getting him into this mess" Michael snapped at him before Lucifer just sighed and started the engine. They headed back home. They were going to the hospital but not yet. They had all agreed Michael needed more sleep. Although his sleep had improved slightly there wasn't much improvement. He still never got more than a few hours sleep. The most he had the past week was three and a half hours and, of course, he was woke by a nightmare most nights.

Nearly every single one of his nightmares had been about Raphael and Gabriel. He couldn't stand it. He just wanted to see Gabriel and make sure he was alright. He would literally do anything. He didn't care about the consequences. "You gonna go to sleep when we get back?" Balthazar asked, leaning forward to speak to Michael. Lucifer just kept his eyes on the road, he hated the fact that they were so angry with him but he just had to accept it. The only way he could redeem himself was so help Gabriel at this point. 

"I guess. You guys should sleep too. Sure you're annoyed with me waking you up with my screaming at 4 a.m nearly every night" Michael advised, he felt guilty about that. The two of them had been losing sleep because of him. They were tired because he simply couldn't just stop having the stupid nightmares. 

"It's not your fault. Besides, I don't think I would be able to sleep longer than five hours anyway with all this crap going on" Balthazar shrugged. A lot of the times when Michael did wake up Balthazar was still awake anyway, probably looking out of his window as if hoping he would see Gabriel or even Raphael but, of course, he never did. 

They soon arrived back home. Michael climbed out of the car, dizziness overtaking him once again as he stood. He leaned against the car for support. He felt as if his sleep deprivation was getting worse. Everything was spinning. It all looked blurry. "Michael?" He heard Lucifer's voice echo. A sharp pain ached in his head. He suddenly felt himself fading slightly. His knees buckled and he could hear the echoes of his brothers voices as he fell to the floor, his face hitting the cold concrete. His eye lids were able to stay open only for a split second before he was engulfed in darkness. 

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel had managed to undo both of the ropes which held down his arms as well as the one on his right ankle, he just had the knot to undo on his other. He tried to hurry, his sweaty and bloody hands making the whole ordeal much harder than it should have been. He undid the rope and as soon as his ankle was free he stood up, every single muscle in his body begging him to stay sitting but he wouldn't. He walked over to the small window in the room, it was a little high up for him. He quickly rushed over to the stool that Raphael would sit on and picked it up, so that it wouldn't make a noise in the floor. He placed it against the wall. It wasn't very sturdy but he knew this would be his only chance. He climbed onto it, trying to keep his balance. He opened the window. It was pretty small and narrow but he was short. He would be able to get through. 

His arms, covered in cuts and bruises were killing him but he lifted them above his head to grab onto the window pane, which hurt enough. He attempted to pull himself up with his weak arms, a whimper of pain escaping his lips. It seemed like an impossible task. He knew he had to do this, it was the only chance he was going to get to escape. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the pain. He pulled himself up, lifting his body up off the stool, adrenaline pumped through his veins as he somehow managed to pull his legs up to the window. As he lay flat across the long window he looked down, he quite high up. He closed his eyes before he swung his legs down but as he did so he lost his grip on the window and fell to the ground. As he came crashing into the outside world he felt an extremely sharp and agonising pain in his ankle. He felt like he might have broken it due to the fall. He lay there for just a few moments before he attempted to haul himself up, he looked around, he didn't recognise any of his surroundings. 

No one was around, it was really quiet. He didn't understand why though, it was about 1 p.m if he had to guess. He stood up, leaning against the wall for support before he began to limp down the dark and narrow alley that he had fell into. He was in so much pain but he would do anything to get out of there. He made strangled cries of pain as he slowly limped down the alley, unable to move any faster. He could see the end of it. He felt hope. He saw a few cars which drove past, that was the street. He had to get there. He attempted to go quicker, going as fast as his body would allow him without completely collapsing. He was so desperate. 

He approached the end of the alley he was so close until he felt something smack him across the back of his head, sending him, once again, crashing to the hard concrete floor below. He saw his blood fall right in front of his face. The blow had caused him to feel faint and disorientated. He looked up, he was so close to the end of it. So close. He felt someone pick him up and drape him over their shoulder with ease. "Oh Gabriel you've really done it this time" the grave voice with the British drawl muttered as he carried him. Gabriel felt too weak to even try and fight back. He kept seeing drops of blood fall onto the floor behind them as he was carried. The end of the alley just got further and further away. 

He heard the sound of a gate opening before he was suddenly in a different environment. He heard footsteps rush towards them but he didn't even have the life in him to care anymore. He'd missed his chance. "Is he alright? What the hell happened!?" His older brothers concerned voice interrupted his thoughts. Just as he suspected, he was back in hell. 

"He escaped through that window that was in the room. He didn't get far. Not far enough for the CCTV on the street to see him but the bastard bled all over the place. I'm going to have to clean it up if we don't want to get caught" Crowley told the older Novak. 

"Yeah, get on that. If they find his blood and then give my brothers a blood test, they'll know it's Gabriel's. Fix it...Just give him here, I'll take him from here" Raphael told Crowley, acting as if Gabriel was an object rather than a human being before Gabriel felt himself being moved, he was forced into a standing up position before instantly beginning to fall. He felt the hands of his brother grab him and stop him from falling. He was so dazed, everything felt like a blur. He heard footsteps going further away, he looked up from the ground to see the blurry image of Crowley leaving the gate. "Don't scare me like that again" Raphael told Gabriel before he hugged him. Gabriel couldn't push him away, he didn't have the energy. He just fell limp against him, unable to stand up. "Come on let's get you inside" Raphael said, releasing him from the hug before he picked Gabriel up over his shoulder, exactly like Crowley had done and carried him inside. 

This was the first time Gabriel had seen any part of the house besides the dark room where he was held. He took in the blurry surroundings. Noting the smell of marijuana in the air. The floor was littered with empty drug packets as well as a lot of alcohol bottles. He was soon being carried down the stairs back to the familiar room he knew so well. Raphael held him tighter as they walked down the stairs in fear of dropping him. He was sure he wouldn't though, Gabriel was light. It was a good thing he hadn't captured any of the others who were practically all around the same height as him. There was no way he would be able to carry any of them. 

Gabriel felt himself being carefully lowered into the wooden chair covered in his own blood. Raphael began to quickly strap his arms down to the chair before moving onto his ankles. He had already tied the rope around his left, relatively undamaged, ankle. As soon as he even slightly touched Gabriel's right ankle he flinched and whimpered at the pain. Raphael looked up at him, seeing the painful look on his face. He rolled up Gabriel's pant leg before seeing the damage. "Damn it Gabriel" he mumbled. Gabriel looked down and could see his ankle was extremely swollen and practically black in colour. He whined at the pain that consumed him. Raphael tied the rope towards the top of his calf rather than at his ankle. 

"Raphael please" he whimpered, losing the small amount of pride he had left. "Please let me go" he cried, his voice broken. Tears fell from his eyes and down his cheeks at a rapid speed. He couldn't stop it, he didn't care to stop it. Raphael had broken the shattered pieces he had nearly managed to put back together again. He was so close to recovery this time last week. He was practically himself again and now he was nothing. He was back to feeling so broken that he didn't think he could come back from this. "I'm sorry for whatever I've done to upset you but...I don't deserve this" he managed to croak through his sobs. Raphael stood there, trying so hard not to let his emotions get the better of him. He couldn't help but wonder whether he had gone way too far, which was rare for him. His personality disorder made it difficult for him to distinguish between right and wrong but he felt a wave of regret as he looked into the weeping eyes of his younger brother. "Please Raphie. Please. It hurts" he sobbed. Raphael took a step away from him. Gabriel used to always call him Raphie when they were younger. He looked so small and helpless. 

"I'm sorry Gabriel but I can't do that" Raphael told him reluctantly. Gabriel kept sobbing. Raphael pulled out his phone, he had to remember why he was doing this. He took one simple snapshot of Gabriel, ensuring that his injured ankle was also in the picture. His brothers had to fear him. They had to think he was the one who was doing all of this to Gabriel, not some guy who loved to hurt people for fun. Raphael knew he was sick but he was nowhere near as sick as Crowley. He had to make them believe all of this was his doing which he knew they would, they wouldn't suspect anything else. 

"I will never forgive you for this. Don't you dare ever try and crawl back into mine or any of our families lives after this. You're a monster, you're worse than Crowley, worse than dad" he mumbled through his tears. Raphael got angry but he didn't react, he just simply put duct tape over Gabriel's mouth before silently leaving the room. Gabriel was left there, crying and panicking. He had no other bright ideas. That was his one and only shot and he blew it. If only he'd untied the rope a little quicker or even just got up off the floor sooner maybe he would have got out. He had missed his chance. 

He sat and thought about his family, thought about when they'd inevitably be joining him in the dark room. He wasn't sure who Raphael was going to get next but he presumed it would be Michael or Cas. Michael was too weak to fight and too vulnerable to be left alone for longer than two minutes while Cas was so sweet and kind. Gabriel doubted either of them would put up as much of a fight as Balthazar and Lucifer would. Then again it had been a week since he had heard anything from any of them, a lot could happen in their family in such a short time. 

_______________________________________________________

"Michael, hey. You scared the crap out of us" Lucifer soothed as Michael's eyes opened. Balthazar was kneeling beside Lucifer with a relieved expression on his face. 

"What happened?" Michael asked, a little dazed and confused, his eyes felt more sensitive to the light than normal. 

"You passed out, you're too tired. We called the doctor but he just said it was best to take you inside and lay you down so we did. You weren't out for that long, like an hour and a half, right?" Balthazar asked looking to Lucifer who nodded, smiling at him. 

Michael couldn't tell if they were just pretending to get along for his sake or if Balthazar was starting to forgive Lucifer. "Can we still go and see Cas?" He asked to which his two blonde brothers looked to each other with the same worried expression their faces. "Please, I feel alright. No worse than I usually do. I need something to distract me from everything and I wanna make sure he's okay. I'm sure that you two do as well" he tried. If he couldn't see Gabriel he wanted to see his youngest brother at least. He'd taken the Gabriel situation pretty hard, just like the rest of them. Dean was a great help for him when they were unable to reassure him. Michael was just grateful Cas had someone to help keep him sane, the other three were on the verge of being torn apart. Despite the fact Michael did partially think this was Lucifer's fault he knew his twin was only trying to do the right thing. He didn't want this to break them apart. 

"Okay, we'll go you just...Don't leave our sight, okay? I'm worried about you and I don't want to lose you, either of you" Lucifer instructed. He was so protective over his brothers naturally anyway but the fact that he had failed to protect Gabriel had amplified his need to take care of them and make sure they were safe. 

"Who's a Mom now?" Balthazar teased him to which Lucifer smiled and nudged him playfully. Michael was so grateful they seemed to be getting along. "I'm sorry I've been such an ass to you lately" Balthazar blurted out, looking to Lucifer who looked extremely relieved. 

"Me too. I know you only had good intentions. I'm sorry" Michael added, sitting up slightly from his lying down position. He felt a little better, maybe passing out had actually helped him rather than making him feel worse. 

"It's okay. I understand why. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys it's just because he told me not to and Michael was so messed up on that day. I didn't want to add more stress. The last thing either of you should have to worry about is Raphael but here he is, at the forefront of all of our problems thanks to me. I promise you guys we're going to get Gabriel back if the police can't. I don't know how or when but we will. If Raphael thinks he can just get away with hurting Gabriel he's got another thing coming" Lucifer promised them. There was no way Raphael would be allowed to just walk away after he'd messed with one of them. Lucifer would make sure of that. 

"I'll fucking rip his throat out the dickbag" Balthazar mused, squinting his eyes in distaste. He couldn't stand Raphael. At least Zach didn't kidnap them, Raphael had just sunk to new lows. Just the thought of Raphael angered him. "Can we go see Cassie before I try and hunt him down?" Balthazar asked with fire coursing through his veins. He needed a distraction, they all did. 

"Yeah, let's go kiddo" Lucifer smiled in agreement. Standing up from his position on the floor, Balthazar soon standing too. Michael sat up more, about to stand up when Lucifer offered him a hand. Michael smiled up at his twin and took it before Lucifer heaved him up. "Michael, I know I haven't said this in a week because you were mad at me but, little reminder, I need you" he told his twin. He had missed just feeling like his brothers cared. "You too Balthazar" Lucifer added, so thankful for his brothers. They were so forgiving, admittedly it had took them a while but they got there in the end. 

"We need you too but I also need my daily dose of Cas can we go?" Balthazar asked again causing both of the twins to laugh. Lucifer led the way out while Balthazar walked beside Michael who seemed to have perked up after passing out which Balthazar thought was weird but he wasn't going to complain. 

Just ten minutes into the twenty minute journey to the hospital Lucifer's phone started ringing. He asked Michael to grab the phone from his pocket which he protested to at first but ended up doing it since it could be important. It could be about Gabriel. "It's Ellen" Michael told them, answering the call and putting her on speaker phone. "Hey Ellen, what's going on?" He asked, confused about why she would be calling. 

"Michael! Are you guys at home?" She asked urgently which made them all become wary. Something was wrong, they knew it. 

"No we're in the car on the way to visit Cas, why?" Michael asked cautiously. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to know the answer to that question. 

"Even better, I'm going to be there in 15 minutes. I'm getting in the car right now. The cops got sent another picture of Gabriel. They didn't plan on telling you boys so, of course, here I am. Risking my job to show you guys" Ellen told them. Michael and Balthazar looked at each other with matching worried expressions. "Fair warning before you boys see it, it's not good but he's alive, that's something I guess" she continued. She didn't want them to see the picture without being prepared for how bad it was. "Anyway, I'm driving. I'll be there soon. Bye" she said, cutting the line. 

"Raphael is going to die for this I swear" Lucifer growled and none of them could object. Despite Michael pretty much being the only one of all the brothers who felt any sort of compassion for Raphael that compassion was fading. He understood that he had a mental illness and that it would affect his personality but you don't kidnap and torture people, especially your own brother. He just didn't understand how anyone could do that. 

Ten minutes later and they were at the hospital, walking through the familiar entrance that they were so used to at this point. They walked down the hallway and into Cas' room to see their youngest brother lying in Dean's lap, snuggled up to him. "Hey Cassie...Um, I'm sorry but Ellen's coming t-" 

"I know, she called Dean after she called you guys" he replied, sitting up slightly as Dean stroked his hair. "She said the pictures pretty bad" Cas added, looking between the three of them who he noticed seemed to be standing together rather than apart. He had been having to watch as they all seemed to forget that they were family but they just looked more like a team again and less like three people who wanted to kill each other. 

"Yeah, she mentioned that to us too. At least he's still alive. If Raphael hasn't killed him yet I don't think he will. He's torturing Gabriel to get to us" Michael thought aloud. They all seemed to agree with him. If Raphael wanted Gabriel dead he could have done it by now but instead he sends pictures. He was playing mind games. 

"Well when I get to him I'm going to beat the living crap out of him. The fu-" 

"You might get a little more angry after you see this" Ellen's voice suddenly sounded as she entered the room as Balthazar was mid sentence. "Someone sent this picture in, I don't know who. Someone found it on one of the cop cars window shield. All the cameras got was a guy in a black hoodie with a ski mask on so we couldn't see his face. I can show you that footage too, maybe you boys will be able to tell if it's Raphael" she explained as she set up her laptop. She went into her pocket, pulling out a small photograph. She faced the picture away from the boys. Looking at it with a disgusted expression on her face. 

"Just show us" Lucifer muttered, not really wanting to see the picture but he knew it was necessary. Ellen looked at him apologetically. She wished there were different circumstances. That she could bring them better news. She looked at it for another short moment before handing the picture to Lucifer. Michael and Balthazar stood behind him, looking over his shoulders. He turned the photo around and as soon as he did his other hand flew to cover his mouth. He didn't know what to expect when Ellen said it was bad but he didn't expect it to be this bad. 

Gabriel's usual golden brown hair was knotted with blood. He had two black eyes and bruises pretty much everywhere. He had cuts all over him, some of them deep but some of them not as deep. His ankle was very clearly broken, just by the picture he could tell that. The part that hurt Lucifer the most was the look on Gabriel's face. He looked like he was in agony with tears rolling down his cheeks. There wasn't just blood all over Gabriel but also all over the floor around the old chair he was strapped down to. The room looked dark and damp and it was identical to the room he was in on the last picture Raphael had sent. He had been locked in the same room for a whole week. Lucifer couldn't even begin to comprehend what his younger brother was going through. "I'm gonna be sick" Michael said quickly before he rushed out of the room, his hand covering his mouth as he tried to hold down the bile rising up his throat. 

"Cassie, do you want to see?" Lucifer asked, wishing he would say no but he knew he wouldn't. He knew this was terrible for him to think but he wished Cas couldn't see again, just for the short time while Gabriel was captured. At least then he wouldn't be able to see the horror of their brother in such a state. Cas nodded before Lucifer began to walk over to him, Ellen watching on. She felt so sorry for all of them. No one, especially kids, should have to go through even half of the things they had experienced. "Balthazar, go check on Michael" Lucifer instructed to which Balthazar walked out of the room with tears threatening to fall from his eyes. 

Lucifer approached Cas who was putting his glasses on. Lucifer took one last look at the photo before he turned it around to show him. Cas audibly gasped as soon as he saw the state he was in. Dean felt a little queasy just looking at it. He couldn't believe that was Gabriel. The same Gabriel who was sat in this room last week. The one who was always making jokes and laughing. He looked so broken. He had the expression of someone who had completely lost hope. Lucifer retracted the picture, not wanting to expose Cas to the picture for too long. His eyes were watering as Dean wrapped an arm around Cas' torso. "I'm sorry Cas" Lucifer sighed, the look on Cas' face was breaking his heart. Lucifer cupped his younger brothers face. "He's gonna get through this and he's going to be found at some point. We'll get him back" Lucifer assured him and for once he actually did believe what he was saying but he didn't know how long it would take. He knew they would get their brother back at some point but Lucifer was worried about how hurt he would be both mentally and physically. 

He turned around when he heard the door open. Michael and Balthazar entered. Michael was extremely pale while Balthazar was trying to hold back his tears with his arm slung around Michael's shoulder. "Let's see the tape" Balthazar mumbled before letting go of Michael and walking over to Ellen. Michael just stayed standing in his position, as white as a ghost. Lucifer got up off Cas' bed and walked over to his twin, putting a hand on his shoulder. He grabbed Michael's wrist with his other hand, letting go of his shoulder before practically pulling him towards the laptop. Ellen started to play the video once the twins were standing behind her. 

The CCTV tape wasn't that clear but it was clear enough. A man with a black hoodie came onto the screen, he had black gloves, black pants and a black ski mask to complete his attire. He walked towards a police car before simply placing the picture on the window shield. He made a quick exit off the screen after that. "That's not Raphael" Balthazar told her with confidence in his voice. 

"It's not him" the twins said at the same time. Ellen thought they seemed pretty confident. She trusted their instincts. If anyone was going to be able to tell if it was Raphael it was those three. She had actually been instructed to show them the tape but she just bought the picture along too. She thought they deserved to see what condition Gabriel was in. She didn't think it was fair to withhold that information. 

"He's getting some low life to do his dirty work for him. Why the hell would anyone ever agree to that anyway!?" Balthazar asked rhetorically. He couldn't believe there was someone else involved in this. The situation just got more complicated every single day. 

"The real question is, who the hell is he?" Ellen asked, looking at the screen which was paused on the suspicious man. 

_______________________________________________________

"Did you do it?" Raphael asked Crowley as he took the ski mask off, his hair messy underneath it. 

"Of course I did" Crowley told him as if it were the most obvious thing ever. He always got the job done. "When can I get back to torturing the kid?" Crowley asked, it was like he craved it, like he was hungry for more. 

"Not today, he's in such bad shape. He can't take it today" Raphael informed him which seemed to anger Crowley. He stared right into Raphael's eyes threateningly. "No, Crowley. Remember our arrangement, I call the shots. You should be god damn grateful I let you do this. I gave you your own play thing where you can hurt him however you want, with only three conditions! You should be thanking me" Raphael told him, not intimidated by Crowley. He stared at him for a few seconds longer before Crowley just shoved past him to go upstairs to his room. 

Raphael sighed, turning away and going back towards the room which his brother was kept in. He opened the door, shutting it quickly before he walked down the steps. As he approached Gabriel he seemed to not be moving. Raphael rushed down the stairs, quickly coming to a halt in front of him. He ripped the tape off Gabriel's mouth, his lips were tinted blue. "Gabriel, wake up!" Raphael tried, checking for a pulse in his neck. Raphael could feel it. He was knocked out but he didn't understand why his lips were blue. "Gabriel, come on. Wake up!" He tried again, putting his hands on either side of Gabriel's face. "Come on little brother you're a fighter. You don't give up that easy, open your eyes" he continued. He searched Gabriel's face in desperation, trying to find any sign of movement. Suddenly his eyes began to flutter open, meeting Raphael's eyes. "Thank god, what happened?" Raphael asked him with concern on his face. Gabriel looked a little dazed as he struggled to keep his head from lolling to the side. Raphael was holding his face though which helped. 

"I...Tried to...Kill myself" he admitted between rugged breaths. Raphael was taken back by this. Out of everything Gabriel could have said he didn't expect that. 

"What? How? Why?" He asked with confusion. He didn't understand why Gabriel would want to do that to himself. 

"I just sort of...stopped breathing...held my breath till I passed out. I didn't think it would work but...it was worth a try. Why the hell do you think I did it? I told you...I would rather die than spend another second in this shit hole" Gabriel told him weakly, his voice quiet and raspy. Raphael couldn't believe the words leaving his brothers lips. Was he really that desperate? Maybe he had gone too far. Raphael opened a bottle of water before tipping the drink into Gabriel's mouth. He appreciated every single drop. His throat was so dry. 

"You'll be out of here sooner than you think. I might be crazy but I'm not sick enough to keep you here for too long. You'll be back with our brothers before you know it" he told him, confusing Gabriel before he kissed his brothers cheek and walked away. Gabriel hoped he was telling the truth, the sooner he was out of this hell hole the better. He didn't know how much more he could withstand before his body just stopped functioning. Until he couldn't take it anymore. 

All he had wanted since he was sectioned was to go back home and now he felt as if all of the progress he had made was gone, as if it had just been erased. He felt more broken, hopeless and vulnerable than he ever had before.


	25. Hidden Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another super long chapter! This half term is giving me so much more time to think. Fair warning: The next chapters going to be very dramatic. In the meantime, enjoy this one!

Chapter Twenty Five:

Yet another week had passed, making it two weeks since Gabriel was kidnapped. They hadn't received any more pictures of their brother which they were thankful for but also worried about. At least if they were sent pictures of him they knew he was alive. The cops were nowhere near close to finding out where Gabriel was being held or who the guy in the footage was. The only progress they had made was that they had found the car which was in the CCTV tape when Gabriel was being abducted. They were currently trying to find DNA in the car which had been ongoing for five days so the brothers were hoping to hear back from them sooner rather than later. 

On the bright side Cas was finally allowed to go home today. He had to be on bed rest most of the time but the doctors said they didn't see any need in keeping him there for longer than necessary when he could just rest at home. He still had to go back to the hospital every so often so they could make sure he was alright but apart from that he was free. It felt weird to him. It didn't feel right that he would be going home before Gabriel. He didn't think it was fair. Gabriel had worked a lot harder than him during his recovery and Cas felt like he should be the one who got to feel the comfort of their home first. 

He stood in his hospital room, zipping up his packed bag. He had so many mixed emotions about leaving the hospital. Of course he wanted to get out but he just couldn't shake off the guilt he felt about Gabriel. The door opened and he looked over to who it was. His glasses were already on so he didn't have to squint. 

"Did I ever tell you how cute you look with glasses?" His boyfriend asked before he walked over to him and hugged him, picking him up off the floor slightly. 

"Oh, only about three hundred times before but you go ahead and make it three hundred and one" Cas teased him, looking into and being hypnotised by Dean's green eyes. Cas leaned down a little and kissed Dean's lips, opening his mouth almost immediately to allow Dean's tongue through. He smiled as they kissed, feeling Dean's smile against his own mouth. He cupped Dean's face, wrapping his legs around his boyfriends waist. "Love you" he mumbled when they broke apart for breath. 

"Love you too" Dean smiled up at him before he kissed him again, this time with more urgency. They were both so engulfed in the moment they didn't hear the door open once again. 

"Oh Jesus guys, just burn my eyes out that would be better" Balthazar's voice sounded in the room. Cas opened his eyes, moving his lips away from Dean's only slightly. Balthazar had his hand over his eyes. Michael was standing behind him, looking away awkwardly while Lucifer was smiling, trying to hold back his laugh. He winked at Cas, his grin still present. "Have they stopped making their porno or do I need to just leave the room?" Balthazar asked, his hand still covering his eyes. 

Cas hopped down carefully off Dean, giving him a last peck on the cheek before he took a step back from him. "Don't be jealous Balthazar, just because Cassie's getting some and you aren't" Lucifer chirped, to which Balthazar moved his hand from his eyes and used it to flip Lucifer off. He glanced over at Cas and Dean who, to his relief were no longer looking as if they were about to tear each others clothes off at any second to have freaky sex. Michael also looked over at them, guessing they were no longer engaged in their make out session. "Sorry we ruined your fun and killed your boners but you wanna go home, right? For some stupid reason they only have an hour in the day which patients can check out so it had to be now. Sorry kids" Lucifer shrugged to which Michael and Balthazar looked to him with annoyance. "What?" He asked defensively. 

"Did you really have to mention boners?" Michael asked, an annoyed expression on his face. Cas and Dean watched as they bickered, trying to hold back their laughs. 

"Let's not talk about our dicks" Cas interrupted, looking over at Dean who had pursed his lips together to stop himself from bursting out laughing. "Just get me the hell out of here" he said, walking towards his brothers while Dean grabbed his bag. Cas wasn't able to carry it because of the stitches and staples he still had on his chest as well as being prohibited from over working himself. They began to file out of the room. Michael held the door open for Dean who thanked him as the other three walked slightly in front. Michael wasn't sure if Balthazar and Lucifer thought they were deaf but they could hear the two of them shouting about Cas and Dean making out and how Cas was getting laid. Michael rolled his eyes at them. 

"Sorry about them" Michael apologised to Dean, who had a cheeky smile plastered on his face. "They don't know how to shut the hell up" he exclaimed, rather loudly. The three of them turned back to them as they continued walking. 

"Such a spoil sport" Balthazar complained grinning towards his brother and Dean. He soon turned back, still talking loudly about their youngest brothers sex life. Balthazar was talking so loud in fact that Lucifer didn't even hear his phone as it rung, luckily he felt it vibrate in his pocket. Michael watched, intrigued as Lucifer pulled out his phone and pressed it to his ear. 

"Balthazar shut the fuck up!" Lucifer scolded, his playful mood disappearing. "No way...You've got to be fucking kidding me. Yeah, just come to ours. Bring Allie too I guess...Have you told him?...Okay. We'll see you soon" Lucifer sighed, putting the phone down. Michael and Dean rushed towards them, catching up. Balthazar and Cas looked towards Lucifer with questioning expressions. "It was Ellen. They think they know who the guy in the video is."

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel opened his weary eyes. He forced himself to sit up right and against the back of the chair but he was in agony. Crowley had decided, since he didn't have much skin left to make cuts on, that he should turn to Gabriel's back. It was as if his back was a fresh and blank canvas which seemed to excite him. Needless to say Crowley tore into his back as much as he could without breaking Raphael's terms. 

Gabriel looked down towards his still extremely painful, extremely swollen ankle. It looked even worse than it did when he first sustained the injury. He felt like they didn't even need to strap him to this chair anymore. There was no way in hell he would be able to get out of the room with his injured ankle. He heard the door to the room open, he didn't even bother to look up. He knew who it was. "Hey Gabriel" Raphael's voice sounded. Just the sound of his voice annoyed Gabriel at this point. He couldn't stand the sight or sound of Raphael or Crowley. "Guess what, Cassie's getting out of hospital today" Raphael informed him to which Gabriel did lift his head. 

"Don't you dare go near him" Gabriel warned him, his voice deeper than it usually was and more raspy. His throat constantly felt as if tiny particles of gravel were lodged in it. He didn't know if it was due to a lack of food and water or because he was just sick. He hoped it was his bodies way of telling him that it was beginning to stop functioning correctly but he supposed that was just wishful thinking. 

"Oh, Gabriel. This is the moment I've been waiting for to go near them. The timing is perfect" Raphael informed him and Gabriel began to struggle in his seat. He was trying to get out despite him knowing it would be no use. "You won't be in this room on your own for much longer" Raphael added, smiling sadistically at his brother. 

"I'll do anything, Raphael. Please don't hurt them" he pleaded, leaning forward slightly despite the burning pain on his back. 

"Nothing you can give me will be anywhere close to the reward that is capturing our brothers. Look on he bright side, you'll have someone to talk to" Raphael told him, smiling at his bloody and broken brother. He spun around on his heel. Gabriel knew what was coming. "Crowley!" Raphael shouted and, just like every day since Gabriel had been trapped there, Crowley walked down the stairs. As usual he had a sick grin on his face and he was making direct eye contact with Gabriel. 

"How's your back?" He asked as he approached him, looking proud of himself. Gabriel looked away from him. He couldn't show Crowley that he was afraid of him, that would just make him feel like he had won. "Don't ignore me!" Crowley barked before he punched Gabriel around his already swollen, bruised jaw. Gabriel continued to look away from him. He looked towards the floor rather than anywhere near him. Crowley was ruthless. If he saw any hint of fear that would set him off. "You won't talk? Fine" he mumbled before Gabriel heard a loud shot and felt an extremely sharp pain pierce into his shoulder. He whimpered at that. Crowley happy he could force Gabriel to make some sort of noise. 

"Crowley! No guns man, what the hell!?" Raphael asked, quickly jumping down off his chair and snatching the gun from the older boy. "Why did you do that!? It just means you're gonna have less time cutting into him because once again I've got to clean up your god damn mess!" He complained, pushing Crowley back slightly. His expression became one of pure rage. He was about to hit Raphael when he pulled Crowley's own gun on him. "Get out" Raphael demanded, pointing the gun between Crowley's eyes. He reluctantly turned away. Stomping back up the stairs with frustration. As soon as the door closed Raphael put the gun away and walked over to the side of the room, returning with a towel as well as picking up some small pliers from the table he laid out for Crowley. 

Gabriel was still looking at the floor. He was breathing heavily in an attempt to control his pain, to try and distract himself but it wasn't much use. He felt Raphael's presence beside him before it was confirmed by the feeling of something digging into his wound. He winced in pain as Raphael searched the wound to try and pull out the bullet. It only took thirty seconds until he found it and pulled it out but it felt like much longer. Raphael then pressed the clean white towel onto Gabriel's wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. "Sorry about him" Raphael told him as if it was like Crowley had just stole his candy bar rather than shot him in the shoulder. The fact he had said it so casually enraged Gabriel but he didn't have the energy to show it. 

"I hope you're proud of yourself" Gabriel muttered, turning slightly to look Raphael in the eye. Raphael had an up close view of the injuries on Gabriel's face as well as his matted bloody hair. He almost couldn't believe he had watched all of this happen to him and not intervened. "You broke me. You win" he added. He felt as if he had nothing left to fight for. There was no way he was going to get out of here anytime soon. He didn't even know how long it had been. All of the days just seemed to merge together. There was no clock in the room, he had no idea what time it was or of the date. 

Raphael felt a wave of guilt when he heard those words leave Gabriel's lips. His mission wasn't to break him, it was to make his brothers fear him. To think he was a force to be reckoned with. Instead he had crushed and dampened Gabriel's spirit until he was just a shell of his former self. He had injuries everywhere. Besides around the scars on his wrists, Crowley had kept his promise and gone nowhere near Gabriel's scars. The rest of him was covered in cuts and bruises. Crowley had really pushed Gabriel as far as he could go. Raphael was unsure if his body could withstand much more pain. 

_______________________________________________________

"Alastair, come sit down" Ellen smiled to him, patting the empty seat next to her as she got her laptop up. Alastair looked around at his cousins who all had their eyes on him. He was confused about why Ellen had told him to come with her. She told him it was important that he saw who the guy was. Maybe it was in case he knew him, Alastair thought. She bought up a picture of a man, it was a mugshot. "We got him from his DNA in the car so we're guessing he's the one in the tape too. He has quite the colourful criminal record. His names Fergus MacLeod but he usually calls himself Crowley, since that's his middle name. Ellen turned the laptop so that he others could see the picture of him and they all examined his face, trying to see if they recognise him. 

"What's this about?" Alastair blurted out as Ellen turned the laptop back towards her. She sighed at that, looking apologetically at Alastair. 

"Thing is Allie. This guy. He was born here, this city in 1990. He got put into care because of his abusive father when he was five and from there got sent to live in Scotland. His birth parents are well..." She paused. Instead of saying it she pointed to the screen, tilting the laptop towards Alastair. That's when he saw it. His breath hitched. They had the same parents. 

"H-He? This guy? He's my brother?" Alastair asked, wide eyed and looking towards Ellen who simply nodded. Alastair looked back to the screen again, looking at his face. This whole time he thought he was an only child but he had a brother, an older brother who his mother and father neglected to tell him about. "My brother is in on this too? He's working with Raphael? Do you think Raphael knows who he is?" Alastair asked, looking around the room. They all just shrugged, unsure of anything anymore. "Just when I thought this family couldn't get anymore messed up" he muttered under his breath, unable to take his eyes off the screen, he couldn't believe he had a brother.

"His records pretty bad. This guys capable of hurting people without remorse. He's got six counts of assault, two counts of grievous bodily harm as well as armed robbery. He's got other crimes but they aren't as significant" Ellen informed them, scrolling down his file. "He's actually been institutionalised a couple of times. Stayed at the same place Gabriel was at but he escaped each time. We're dealing with a guy who is, in all honesty, off his rocker. He's unstable and we need to find him before he really hurts Gabriel or even Raphael. He's dangerous" Ellen informed them, a grave tone to her voice. Lucifer sat, silently thinking to himself that he didn't care how dangerous this guy was. If he had any part in what was happening to Gabriel he would make sure he suffered for it. No one got away with capturing and torturing his brother, no one. He didn't care if Crowley was twenty five. It made no difference, he would make him pay. 

"Looks like he inherited my dads ruthlessness then" Alastair sighed, running a hand through his thin hair. "If he really has been hurting Gabriel I don't want anything to do with him. He sounds like a monster. I've had enough of those for one life time" he added as he looked at the picture of his older brother on the screen again. On the picture Crowley was holding up a sign with his name on, as well as having a smug smile on his face. He looked way too pleased about being arrested. "Well if he is half as bad as he's made out to be I don't want anything to do with him. Seems like a dick" Alastair shrugged, looking away from the picture of his brother and towards his cousins. 

"Last time anyone knew his whereabouts was three months ago when he was in the mental hospital. It doesn't say what for but I'm pretty sure I can find out. I'd just have to go and question some of the doctors there and see what they know. I can go now and then come back after" Ellen suggested, looking between all of the Novak's as well as Dean. 

"Yeah, good idea" Michael spoke up, still trying to process the whole situation. Their family problems just seemed never ending. Ellen stood, taking her laptop with her. "I'll see you boys later, I shouldn't be gone any longer than two hours, call me or Bobby if you need us" she told them, smiling at them before she left the house. Michael nearly immediately got up to lock the door as soon as she did. He was worried about this situation. He couldn't not be. His new anti anxiety meds had helped him a lot. The higher dosage had stopped him from having panic attacks as often. His nightmares had also lessened but he did have one every two or three days usually which was much better than how it was before. He had one last night, meaning, once again he only had around two hours sleep. 

He sat back down on the sofa, sitting in between Balthazar and Lucifer. "You guys take up so much room" Balthazar huffed dramatically before he crossed the room to sit by Alastair. They all knew he just said that to sit by his cousin. Balthazar may have been a hot headed individual but he was also caring, he felt like Alastair might want the comfort of someone else sitting by him. Alastair smiled at him at that, he thought Balthazar was sweet. He remembered when he just thought Balthazar and Lucifer were hard asses back when they hated him but once he got to know them he realised they were the complete opposite. They were just fiercely protective over their family and friends. 

"It's so cold" Michael complained, breaking the silence in the room as he put his hood up on his jumper. Lucifer looked at him with a humorous smile on his face. "What? It is!" He protested, wrapping his arms around himself. Lucifer rolled his eyes before he stood up, walking towards the door. "Where are you going?" Michael asked, confused. 

"To get you a blanket because I'm just the best brother in the world" he boasted wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Can you get me one?" Cas asked as he lay across the sofa, his head in Dean's lap. He was on bed rest after all. Lucifer nodded before he rushed up the stairs. 

"That's so sweet of him" Dean smiled. Everyone turned to look at him with questioning expressions. "What? Oh come on guys just because I like dudes doesn't mean I like Lucifer just because I said he's sweet" Dean defended himself immediately after he figured out why they were looking at him so weird. A few moments later Lucifer appeared in the doorway carrying blankets. 

"What did I miss?" He asked as he tossed a blanket towards Cas and Dean. 

"Just that Dean is gay for you" Balthazar joked causing Cas to throw a cushion at him. Lucifer looked over to Dean, confused as to what his brother meant. 

"I said you were sweet for getting them blankets and apparently that's code for I want to fuck your brains out" Dean shrugged. Lucifer wasn't surprised it was something as stupid as that. He turned on his heel, throwing a blanket towards Balthazar and Alastair. 

"I didn't even ask for one" Balthazar protested as if having a blanket thrown at him was some kind of punishment. 

"Well now you have one" Lucifer shrugged before walking back over to the couch he shared with Michael and handing him his blanket. Michael immediately wrapped it around himself, as soon as he did he seemed to relax. 

"I have a great idea. Let's watch embarrassing baby videos. Like that time Luci got his tongue stuck to a lamppost when it snowed" Balthazar perked up before he got out of the blanket and looked through their old videos and DVDs. 

"That wasn't even funny. I ripped all the skin off it!" He protested as Balthazar found a random video and pushed it into their old video player. Dean sat up with a smile on his face, he was going to find so many things in these videos to tease all of them about. 

_______________________________________________________

"I need to pee" Gabriel whined, trying to get Raphael to let him go to the crappy toilet he had been using for two weeks when Raphael let him. Raphael rolled his eyes, getting annoyed at Gabriel's constant asking before he walked over to him, undoing the ropes on his hands just to use another to tie his wrists together so that he couldn't try anything which Raphael knew he would at this point. He had no doubts in his mind that he could overpower Gabriel but he didn't want to have to hurt him. He leaned down, undoing the ropes on his ankles. When Raphael untied the rope on his uninjured ankle Gabriel took his chance to kick Raphael in the face, just for the sake of it. When Raphael stood up he had his hands over his nose as blood poured from it. 

"I should of seen that coming" he remarked before he grabbed Gabriel's shoulder, the one without the gunshot wound, and forced him to stand up. Gabriel hissed in pain as he was forced to try and stand on his broken ankle. There was no way that was happening. He put his arm around Gabriel's waist, supporting his weight as he hopped towards the bathroom. All of his muscles were aching, every inch of his skin burning with pain. They reached the bathroom which lay just across the room but it was like a mission for Gabriel to get there. He could barely even move. 

"Dude, how the hell am I supposed to aim with this?" Gabriel asked, lifting up his hands to show them tied up. Raphael sighed undoing the ropes. 

"Just keep the door open, I won't look, trust me" Raphael assured him with a disgusted look on his face. Gabriel rolled his eyes before he held onto the door frame to help him as he hobbled into the bathroom. Raphael put his hand to his nose, fresh blood on his hand once he did. He wasn't even mad that Gabriel had done that. He'd been shot three hours ago, Raphael didn't blame him for being angry. He heard the tap come on as Gabriel washed his hands. Just standing up for this short period of time was exhausting to him. There was no way he would be able to even try and hit Raphael. He felt the whole room spinning around him as he began to limp towards the door way, his vision kept focusing and then unfocusing again. "Come here" Raphael told him, putting his arm around his disorientated brothers waist again, practically dragging him back towards the chair as he looked around the room, confused. As Raphael sat Gabriel back down in the chair he heard footsteps behind him. He knew it was Crowley. He tied up Gabriel's arms and legs once again. Not that he would be able to go anywhere right now. 

Raphael tipped small sips of water into Gabriel's mouth, seeing a hint of colour returning to his suddenly pale face. "I don't get you" Crowley laughed as he watched the scene before him. "How can you watch him be tortured for two weeks straight and then still try and make sure he's alright? I got a news flash for you, he's not alright. Look at him. You either care or you don't. Pick a side Raphie" Crowley addressed, he hadn't understood this whole situation since it started. If he didn't want his brother to be hurt why would he let him hurt him so much? He could admit he was cold hearted but he didn't understand the point of him hurting Gabriel, someone Raphael clearly cared about, rather than just some stranger who neither of them felt anything towards. 

"He's still my brother" Raphael mumbled under his breath as he let Gabriel drink a little more. Crowley looked at the younger Novak. He had never seen anyone in such a bad state.

"I wouldn't dare hurt my little brother or let anyone lay a finger on him. That's without even meeting him yet alone having a bond with him like you have with Gabriel" Crowley confessed. This was the first time Raphael had ever heard Crowley sound like he actually had a heart rather than a black hole of emptiness inside of him. He knew exactly who Crowley's brother was. He knew that Crowley was their cousin but he neglected to tell him that information. He simply kept it to himself and if he needed to use it against him at some point then he would. Crowley had no idea who his brother was, he just knew his name was Alastair. As soon as a social worker had told him about Alastair being born he hoped and prayed he got taken out of their parents home and was put with caring adoptive parents, ones the complete opposite of his. 

"You're not me. You don't know anything about me and what I've gone through. Don't you dare judge me based on what I feel when you don't know shit. I gave you him, let you take out all your weird violent urges out on him! You should be worshipping the ground I walk on!" Raphael reminded him, anger prominent in his tone. 

Gabriel was finally able to focus again, rolling his eyes upwards to look at the two engaged in confrontation. Crowley took a step closer to Raphael, getting in his face. "Don't test me" Crowley warned him simply, his piercing eyes staring straight into Raphael's. Gabriel wished Crowley would just beat the crap out of Raphael. That was something he was fine with watching at this point. At least Crowley knew he was a cold hearted psycho, Raphael tried to cover it up by giving him water and putting bandages on his wounds. 

Crowley turned away from Raphael looking over to Gabriel, the familiar twisted smile on his lips. He walked the short distance over to him, kneeling down in front of him. "Please d-" Gabriel was cut off when Crowley grabbed hold of his broken ankle, squeezing it with his hand. Gabriel screamed in pain, he felt as if he could hear the bone cracking even more. "Stop, please! I-I'm begging...you!" Gabriel choked, trying to make a coherent sentence through his pain. Crowley looked over at Raphael as if to taunt him as he continued to squeeze Gabriel's ankle as he squirmed in his seat, unable to move. 

Raphael watched the scene, trying his hardest to not care and to remain calm but it was a challenge. His brothers screams of agony were piercing his ears, digging into his core. "What are you gonna do, huh? Want to be the protective big brother again? Or are you going to be a cold hearted torturer? This is what you wanted, right? You wanted me to break him. Look at him, I think I've done a pretty good job" Crowley boasted, looking back to Gabriel who had tears running down his cheeks from the pain being inflicted on him. Crowley released his ankle to which Gabriel sighed with relief. His relief didn't last long when Crowley punched Gabriel in the stomach, winding him and causing him to cough, blood spluttering out of his mouth as he did. 

Crowley walked over the the table, he was in the zone now. He grabbed a metal chain which lay on the table. Then wrapped it around Gabriel's chest before he pulled the chain, squeezing Gabriel's ribs. Gabriel was wheezing. He felt as if he could hear his ribs cracking beneath his skin as he gasped for breath. Once Crowley was done he pulled the chain, in turn pulling Gabriel to the cold floor below, causing him to hit the back of his head on the ground. As soon as his head hit the ground he felt blood seep out of his scalp and onto the floor below, leaving him lying in a pool of his own blood. He saw Raphael lean over him as if to check on him, that's what he thought anyway. "You want me to prove that I want him tortured?" Raphael asked accusingly, looking over at Crowley before he kicked Gabriel with all his might at the side of his head. Crowley smiled approvingly. 

Gabriel felt as if his head was going to explode, he felt so much pressure on it. He suddenly felt the urge to throw up, tilting his head to the side. He vomited over the floor, spluttering and coughing as he did so. He didn't have the energy to care about the fact he was lying in his own blood and vomit. He felt faint, as if he was fading, he looked up and could see the blurry figures of his brother and Crowley standing over him. He felt like things were about to go from bad to worse with Raphael trying to prove a point to Crowley. He saw a first coming towards his face just before he felt the impact and blacked out. 

_______________________________________________________

"Aww look at how cute you two were. Now you're gross" Balthazar teased referring to a young version of the twins on their ninth birthday. Michael had been asleep for most of the time that they had the tapes on, he was curled up next to Lucifer. They watched on the screen as they blew out the candles at the same time, smiling and laughing. A seven year old Gabriel appeared into the shot, a flower in each hand. He held them out to his older brothers who accepted them. 

"Happy birthday!" Gabriel squealed, his voice high pitched and his smile wide. Out of the corner of the screen a hand appeared, grabbing Gabriel by the shoulder before pulling him away. 

"Boys don't like flowers! What are you!? A fag!?" The sound of a deep voice echoed as the camera stayed on the depressed looking twins before shutting off completely. 

"I forgot about that part of the day" Balthazar sighed, running a hand through his hair. Just then another video started playing, one which seemed different from the others. Their mother sat down at a chair, recording herself. The video seemed more recent than those from when they were younger. 

"Hi kids" she smiled, looking straight at the camera. They were all a little confused about what this was about. "If you're watching this then either me or dad is dead. There's no way in hell he would let you watch this if he was around. He doesn't even know I'm making it. I don't know how old you'll be when you find the tape but right now Anna is twenty one, the twins are eighteen, Gabriel's nearly seventeen, Balthazar's sixteen and Cas is fifteen" she said. They all felt like she was talking to them personally. As if she was actually in the room. 

Gabriel's birthday was the 27th of April and so the video wouldn't have been filmed that long ago. Lucifer nudged Michael, waking him up. "What?" He asked, wiping his tired eyes as he looked around the room. His eyes fell onto the TV. "What is this?" He asked, looking up at Lucifer. 

"Anna, you're my only girl and my oldest. I am so proud of the beautiful young woman you've turned out to be. I hope that, if I'm dead, you're taking good care of your brothers just like you always have. I hope that you're happy and maybe even still with Ash, he's a nice boy. No matter what you must keep your fighting spirit. Don't let anyone try and change or manipulate you. Stay exactly how you are because the path you're heading down is a good one" she smiled, love and emotion swimming in her eyes. "Michael" she continued, the smile still present on her face. Michael sat up slightly. "Stop worrying so much! Everything doesn't need to be perfect and it never will be. You're smart enough to know that. You're such a handsome, loving and caring boy. I have no doubt in my mind that you will achieve so much. You're so hardworking and when you do something you put your heart into it. I am so very proud of you, stay strong and make sure none of your brothers kill anyone" she encouraged. They all looked over to Michael who's eyes were noticeably glazed over. Just a moment ago he was asleep and now he had seen this. 

"You okay?" Lucifer asked. Michael turned his head towards his twin. Smiling and nodding reassuringly. 

"Luci, my fierce little angel. Beneath all of your anger and fear lies such a kind and warmhearted soul. I know your father has caused you to have major trust issues but you can let people in. Not everyone who isn't your sibling is out to get you. You don't need to feel threatened by everyone because most people aren't a threat. I admire how brave you are and how much you are willing to risk for the sake of the others. Don't change, keep protecting them. Don't let anyone mistreat or hurt them but if someone does hurt them and you can't stop it don't blame yourself. Do you understand me? If you weren't there when they got hurt then there's no way you could have stopped it. Don't blame everything on yourself. Blame the person who is actually responsible" she insisted, her tone serious. Her words hit him hard, especially with the Gabriel situation. "Gabriel. Where do I even start with you? You are absolutely hilarious and you can bring a smile to people's faces with such ease. Despite how loveable and funny you are I know how sensitive you are and how much something can affect you. If you're feeling down or feel yourself slipping into PTSD, depression, anything like that please just tell someone. You don't have to keep it a secret. None of your brothers or Anna will think of you as a burden just because of something you can't even prevent. Don't be ashamed and please, for the love of God, don't ever try and hurt yourself again" she advised, the passion evident in her tone. She was referring to the incident when Lucifer had found Gabriel standing on a chair with a noose around his neck, ready to try and hang himself. "You are worth so much more than that, you are so loving. Don't lose yourself and if you need help, ask, don't keep it all bottled up" she finished, her eyes watering slightly. 

"We need to show him that when we get him back" Lucifer thought aloud to which they all nodded. They thought he might need to hear that after being tortured for such a long time. It might even aid in his recovery. 

"Balthazar, don't go around getting yourself into fights. I know your angry, lost, scared and confused but that is not the answer. Do not allow yourself to sink down to the levels of your father, if someone deserves it, by all means you beat the crap out of them but if not, don't project your anger onto them. You're so funny and smart just don't let your anger get the better of you and overpower all of your amazing qualities. Keep looking out for the others and let them look out for you once in a while. You don't ever need to face anything alone. You're one of six siblings, you'll always have someone to talk to, who cares about you and who wants to help you" Balthazar sat back slightly. Her words made so much sense to him. 

"I've got news, Crowley's a comp-" Ellen stopped when she walked in and saw the tape. She looked to all of the boys who looked emotional. 

"Cassie, my brave little soldier. First of all, I need to make sure you understand that despite you being blind and at a disadvantage that doesn't mean anything. You are still capable of doing anything you want to achieve. I know that you feel like you're not good enough but you are more than good enough, you're perfect in my eyes no matter what. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask for help from me, if I'm still around, your sister or your brothers. None of us think of you as a hinderance or a problem that needs to be solved. You are a brave, kind and loving person and don't let anyone take advantage of how kind you are, though I doubt your siblings would let that happen. Just carry on fighting and never give up. You are too strong to do that...Well I love all of you so much, take care of each other and if your father is still alive get away from him as soon as possible. Don't leave it too late like I did, then again if I hadn't then Gabriel, Balthazar or Cas would never have been born. You guys are the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. I love you all and, if I'm gone, I'm watching over you I promise, you'll never be alone" she smiled, looking directly at the camera before she shut it off. There was a silence in the room as they all took in what they had just seen. 

"Guessing that was your Ma, huh?" Ellen asked as she leaned against the door frame. She saw Balthazar look up at her and nod. "She seemed like a lovely lady. She clearly cared a lot about you boys and your sister" she comforted them. She had never been around them while they had been so quiet. They always had something to talk about but now they were rendered speechless. 

"What's the deal with Crowley?" Lucifer asked, breaking the silence. They all turned to her. An unrecognisable expression on each of their faces. They all wore a expression of so many emotions mixed together - sadness, confusion, love, understanding and mourning. They didn't know what to think. 

"Crowley? As suspected he's a complete lunatic. Hurts people for fun rather than for an actual reason but, of course, he has a medical condition. He's a psychopath, literally, diagnosed and everything. The doctors apparently thought it was all linked back to his complicated childhood. I know he was only with his birth parents for a few years but, by what he had told them, his adoptive parents weren't much better. They were full blown religious fanatics, I'm not just talking going to church every Sunday but they were extremists. They would punish him for anything he did that they considered out of line. The punishments were extreme, he didn't specify but he told them they had torn him apart until he was just a shell of who he used to be. When they diagnosed him they figured he was projecting all of that pent up anger and frustration onto other people by hurting them the same way his adoptive parents hurt him. Almost like he wanted someone to feel what he felt when he was a kid" Ellen informed them. What if he was doing that to Gabriel? Copying his parents example and doing he exact same torture methods to him, Lucifer thought. Of course the story of Crowley just had to go and complicate things further. He wasn't just a cold hearted monster, he had suffered, just like the rest of them except he expressed his emotions in a different way. 

"If they caught him he'd just get sectioned again, right?" Alastair asked, looking up at Ellen. He actually felt bad for his brother. He didn't think he deserved to be hurt like that. No kid deserved it. Children were innocent but parents corrupted them and turned them into monsters. 

"Yeah, probably a higher security one though, he's escaped from there three times. He's not stupid. He definitely knows how to get his own way and once he sets his mind to something he will stop at nothing until he achieves his goal". Ellen told them, quoting what one of the doctors had told her about him. They sat in fear. If Crowley really was that bad, how was Gabriel coping? Their worry almost quadrupled in size which they didn't think was possible at this point. They needed to get him back before real damage was done if it already hadn't been. 

_______________________________________________________

"Please stop" Gabriel pleaded quietly. Not even having the energy to higher the volume of his voice. There was a brief pause before he felt another burning sensation, this time on his calf. He squealed in pain, just wishing for it to end. Raphael pulled the metal rod away from him, looking pleased with the distinct mark it had left. 

"Guess we know what side you're on now, huh?" Crowley asked, smiling as he watched Raphael perform horrific acts on his brother. Raphael grinned back at him, putting the metal rod back into the fire to warm it up ready to burn Gabriel again. This time he set his eyes on the gunshot wound that was inflicted earlier in the day. He pressed the rod into the fresh wound, an inhuman noise escaping Gabriel's lips as he did so. 

"Raphael! Stop!" Gabriel tried, struggling to try and lean away from him. 

"I'll stop when you say it. Go on, say it!" Raphael ordered him, shouting right in his face. Gabriel just looked away from him and shook his head. Raphael threw the rod to the ground. This time he picked up the same whip that Crowley had used on his back the previous day. His eyes widened at that, it hurt like hell. "Last chance" he warned. Gabriel didn't want to say it but he couldn't bare the thought of being hit with that again. Raphael struck Gabriel in the stomach with the whip, blood immediately seeping out of the fresh wound. "Say it or I swear to god I will force you to drink your own piss" he threatened, grabbing Gabriel harshly by the face. Gabriel shook his head again. This time Raphael stood, a look of rage and resentment in his wide eyes. 

"This is what happens when I don't steal more meds for your brother, don't get him angry" Crowley smiled, his phone up to record what was happening. 

"Raphael, listen to me" Gabriel tried, he had nothing else left to lose. He may as well try his hand at begging. "We're brothers, okay. No matter what's happened that won't ever change. Just please stop" he pleaded, his voice barely over a whisper. He was in so much agony he could barely even talk anymore. Raphael turned away from him, placing the whip back on the table. He stood there for a few moments, Gabriel thought maybe he had calmed down. 

Suddenly he turned around, a knife in hand before he plunged it into Gabriel's thigh, releasing the handle and leaving the knife in. He smiled with glee as Gabriel screamed and cried in pain. "Say it" he smiled, the crazy look in his eyes growing. 

"I...Shit...I don't...don't want to be rescued...I want...to stay...and I...I want my...family to join me" he forced himself to say through the pain as he squeezed his eyes shut and rocked back and forth as much as he could to try and distract himself from the pain. He didn't even open his eyes. He didn't want to see the knife sticking out from his leg. He could feel the blood oozing down his leg, there was a lot of it. 

"Good boy! That wasn't so hard was it!? Now, it's late. Looks like it's time to go and get myself some more family members to torture" he smiled sickly before almost joyfully bounding up the stairs. Crowley shut his phone off before he followed walking behind him. Gabriel was in too much pain to even try and protest. He looked down to see the knife still protruding from his leg. He felt sick. As he looked at it. The stabbing sensation just continuing the longer it was stuck there. 

He cried as he looked down at himself. Looking at all the injuries he could see. He was covered. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to get better and go home and now he had never felt more broken, exposed, humiliated or ashamed as he did now. He would admit it. Raphael had beat him. He had won.


	26. Blood Doesn't Make You Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was pretty rushed but I wanted to get a chapter out. College is once again taking all of my time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy despite how rushed it is

Chapter Twenty Six:

"Lucifer! Wake up! Luci!" Balthazar's voice begged as he shook his older brother to try and wake him up. Lucifer's eyes fluttered open, he sighed, feeling groggy.

"What? What the hell do you want?" He asked, slightly annoyed at the fact Balthazar had woke him up. The sun was shining through his window but he had no idea what time it was. His eyes focused on Balthazar's facial expression. He looked genuinely scared and he didn't scare easy. Lucifer sat up, putting his hand on his younger brothers shoulder. "What is it? What's wrong?" He asked, worried now. He looked up to see Cas standing by the door frame with an equally worried expression on his face.

"It's Michael. He-" Balthazar stopped, putting his hand to his face. He felt as if the words were stuck in his throat. He didn't want to say them out loud.

"He what? Balthazar tell me" he tried, gripping his shoulder tighter to try and support him. Cas walked over, he handed Lucifer a scrap of paper without a single word. Lucifer looked at the paper, reading the words scrawled on it.

'I wanted someone else to torture and I take what I want. Two brothers down, three to go'

Lucifer's eyes widened. This couldn't be happening. Not again. Not Michael. He jumped up out of his bed, running to Michael's room as if believing this was some sort of sick joke. He ran through the door to find his twins room trashed, there were spots of blood on his bed sheets. "No" he whispered to himself before his knees buckled beneath him. He clutched onto one of his t shirts which was lying on the floor. He was shaking his head as he looked down at the item of clothing. He felt a hand on his shoulder which made him jump but he looked up to see Cas standing beside him, Balthazar just a few steps behind. "We're going to find them both" Cas tried as he looked into the broken eyes of his older brother. He knelt down beside him, pulling him in for a hug. Lucifer almost immediately clutched onto Cas, grabbing the clothes on his back.

"I called Ellen, she's on her way round. Hopefully she can find something. For all we know that blood might not be Michael's, it could be Raphael's or Crowley's, I'm guessing he was here too" Balthazar spoke, his voice quieter than usual.

"He's took Michael because he's vulnerable. It's exactly the same reason he took Gabriel" Lucifer acknowledged, letting go of Cas. "If he's going from most vulnerable to least then..." He stopped looking between both of them.

"Me. He'll try and get me next" Cas broke in, they both looked to him. They couldn't lose another brother. They heard the door knock. Balthazar left with the worried expression still plastered on his face. He walked down the stairs, looking through the window before opening the door. He couldn't be too careful. He saw Ellen clearly. Accompanied by Dean and Alastair. He unlocked the door, opening it. As soon as he did he saw Ellen's eyes soften before she took him in her arms. Stroking his blonde hair.

"I'm so sorry" she soothed. She could feel the tension in him. He hugged her back. He was trying to remain calm and strong but it was too difficult. He let a quiet sob escape his lips before tears began to flow freely. "Shhh, it's okay. We are going to find your brothers I promise" she continued, rubbing his back. She felt so sorry for all of the boys. They had been through so much and were still being tormented. She released him from the hug, keeping her hands on his arms. "You're so brave. Don't give up hope" she told him. He nodded slightly. He didn't know how he could continue to be brave anymore. His brothers and Alastair were the only remaining family he had left and two of them had been kidnapped, one of them was sure to become a wreck because his twin was missing, Cas was next on the hit list and Alastair had to deal with the fact his own brother who he didn't even know existed was a part of this.

"They're upstairs. There's blood in his room I-" he stopped, shaking his head as if trying to force the tears to stop. "I don't know what happened" he finished, Ellen smiled with sympathy at him before she walked up the stairs. Dean walked in, clapping a hand on Balthazar's shoulder.

"They're going to be okay. When all this is over with you guys will all be together again with Raphael and Crowley locked up. There will be no one else to hurt you" Dean tried to reassure him before he too walked up the stairs. Alastair walked in, prompting Balthazar to quickly shut the door and lock it. He didn't want to risk anything. Balthazar simply walked past him, giving him a small smile before going upstairs. Once he reached the top of the stairs he saw Dean who was comforting Cas and Lucifer sitting beside them still holding Michael's shirt. Ellen had gone into the room, using q tips on the blood, seeing if it was completely dry or not. Balthazar walked over to Lucifer who had tears in his eyes as he looked at the shirt in his hands.

"Hey" Balthazar sighed, sitting down beside him. Lucifer looked over to him, his eyes slightly wet.

"You've been crying" Lucifer acknowledged, immediately becoming concerned. Balthazar chuckled at that, he couldn't believe Lucifer was worried about that. He was so protective of his brothers and with this situation it just amplified that trait in him.

"Don't worry about it. You're one to talk your eyes are looking a little tear filled" he said. This immediately caused Lucifer to look down as if to hide the fact he was that upset about this. "There's no shame in it Luci, you don't have to bottle it all up. Me and Cas understand how you feel, I know Michael's your twin so you have that whole twin bond but he's our brother too. You're not alone in this. If you need anything, even just to talk we're here for you" Balthazar reassured him. Lucifer looked beside him to see Cas smiling at him. He had been listening the whole time.

"Thanks" Lucifer uttered, managing to form a small smile on his face as a tear fell from his eye. Balthazar leaned forward and kissed his older brothers forehead. He soon pulled away, his hand on Lucifer's shoulder. "We're going to find them" Lucifer nodded, trying to convince himself rather than the others. "And when we do I'm going to fucking kill Raphael and Crowley" he told them, meaning each word he said. He didn't care at this point. He had no sympathy for either of them. He didn't care if they had mental health problems. This was not the way to get help or recover from it, they should have followed Gabriel's example, not kidnapped him.

"Boys, is it alright if I take you to the station to do blood samples on all of you? You too Alastair" Ellen asked as she held Michael's bed sheet where the blood droplets resided. "It's to determine who's blood it is. If it's Michael's his blood will be most similar to Lucifer's, if it's Raphael's his will be pretty similar to you three and if it's Crowley's his will be most similar to Alastair's. It's the only way to know for sure who's blood it is" she explained when she saw the slightly confused look on Cas' face.

"Fine with me" Lucifer shrugged as Cas nodded.

"Me too" Balthazar agreed.

"Yep" Alastair spoke up.

"Let's go then, no time to waste" she told them before she walked towards the stairs, leaving the Novak's and Dean upstairs. Alastair walked over to Balthazar and Lucifer, offering them both a hand which they took before he helped heave them up. Dean stood up before he helped Cas up.

"It's just us three now" the youngest Novak sighed, turning to face his brothers.

"Hopefully not for much longer. We need to be a five again. Being anything less doesn't feel right" Balthazar expressed, the other two nodding in agreement.

"Come on boys we don't have all day!" Ellen's voice sounded from the bottom of the stairs. Dean walked down first, dragging Cas along with him by the hand. Alastair took a step towards his two remaining cousins, putting a hand on each of their shoulders.

"I'm sorry for what my brother has done. He's not our family, he's just some guy we happen to share blood with. Same for Raphael. We're going to find them both and once Michael and Gabriel are safe we can make sure they pay" Alastair reminded them before he let go of the two of them and walked down the stairs. Lucifer and Balthazar not far behind, Alastair's words still resonating with them. He was right. Blood didn't make you family. They had learnt that the hard way.

_______________________________________________________

"Don't hurt him, please don't!" a voice cried in the room. He had no idea what was happening. His head was pounding. He slowly opened his heavy eye lids, being greeted by an unfamiliar setting. He was in a dark room with concrete floors and walls. There was no light in the room. There was a window but it had been boarded up. "Please I'm begging you!" The voice pleaded once again. He sounded so much like...

"Gabriel?" Michael asked, his eyes still fighting to stay open as he looked straight ahead. He was trying to focus on what was in front of him. Suddenly a figure blocked his view. He looked up to see the face he hated so much. "Crap" he immediately cursed as soon as he saw Raphael holding a knife with a psychotic look in his eye. Michael looked over to his left, he saw Gabriel. He couldn't believe the state he was in. He had seen him on pictures but for some reason seeing him in real life had hit him harder than any photograph. He saw Gabriel had a knife handle protruding from his thigh, his ankle was extremely swollen, he had a fingernail missing, he had s ms hot wound on his shoulder and he just had blood everywhere. His usual golden brown hair was tinted red with blood. "W-What did they do to you?" He asked, almost horrified by his own brothers appearance.

"Exactly what we're going to do to you, Mikey" Raphael's voice broke through his thoughts, Michael looked up towards him. He saw no remorse in his eyes, no guilt. There was nothing there. It was as if he couldn't even feel anything anymore.

"Raph-" he was cut off when Raphael used the knife he was wielding to cut Michael's cheek. He felt blood trickle down his face even before the cold blade was moved away from his skin. "I can't believe you" Michael continued, his anxiety medication clearly still in action. "Look at him. He's our younger brother and look what you've done to him. What is wrong with you? How could you do that to anyone yet alone your own brother. You're a sicko, Raphael" he addressed, not filtering his words. This, of course, made Raphael angry. He raised the knife, about to hurt Michael before the door slammed open. The familiar figure Gabriel was so used to walking down the stairs.

"Another brother of yours to torture? Which ones this then?" His British accent echoed throughout the room as he approached. He stood next to Raphael. His face becoming clearer to Michael. It was him, his cousin.

"Michael and...You...You're Crowley aren't you? Or Fergus, whatever" Michael asked, looking up at the man standing in front of him.

"How did you know that?" Gabriel asked, confused about how Michael would even get this information. Crowley leaned down, his face just inches from Michael's.

"Yes, do enlighten us" Crowley broke in, blocking Michael's vision from anyone else in the room. All he could look at was the eyes of his cousin. They were similar to Raphael's, no remorse swam in his vacant brown eyes.

"You're Alastair's brother" he mumbled as he looked into the eyes of his cousin. His eyes narrowed at that.

"How do you know my brothers name? Do you know him or something?" He asked, standing back up straight. Michael looked over to Gabriel who looked just as surprised as Crowley was.

"He's our cousin" Michael simply told him, not about to give a long explanation. "Meaning you're our cousin too" he said, just in case Crowley didn't realise what Michael was trying to tell him. Crowley's eyes widened at that, he looked towards Raphael questioningly.

"He's lying" Raphael informed him despite knowing it was true. He couldn't lose him now, he had to keep Crowley on his side. "You really will say anything to try and turn people against me won't you?" He asked Michael before he grabbed the whip from the table and harshly whipped Michael's chest causing him to whimper in pain. He almost immediately felt blood trickle down from the wound.

"We need to talk. I came down here to tell you that the rest of your brothers just left their house with a bunch of other people. One of them looked particularly upset, blonde hair, taller than the other two. Looks like he might be the next one" Crowley acknowledged, a smirk on his face. He hadn't forgotten what Michael had said but he didn't want to discuss it in front of them. He couldn't make himself look as if he cared, he had to remain heartless in their presence.

"That would be my big brother, Lucifer. His twin" Raphael informed him, pointing over to Michael. "Don't underestimate him. He may look upset but he is a lot stronger than you would think. He's one of those protective types, I thought me taking Michael might take a toll on him though" he explained while Michael struggled to free his wrists to no avail.

"Don't touch him! Don't touch any of them!" Michael tried although his voice was wavering slightly. He could feel his chest becoming tighter by the second. He felt as if the walls of the room were closing in on him. Raphael, of course noticed this.

"What's wrong? Are your meds wearing off?" He asked him. Gabriel looked over, worried. He didn't even know Michael had started taking meds. "Let's leave them for a while so we can talk Crowley, I'm sure they have plenty of catching up to do" Raphael smiled sadistically before he began to walk towards the steps. Crowley leaned down, grabbing Michael's face harshly between his hands.

"I can't wait to get started with you" He admitted, smiling before he let go of him. He followed Raphael up the stairs. Closing the door once they reached the top which left the two brothers alone. Michael closed his eyes, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down. He didn't want to get too far into the panic attack so that he couldn't stop it.

"Keep taking deep breaths, it helps" Gabriel advised him, knowing exactly how it felt to have a panic attack in this very room. At least Michael wouldn't be alone though, he thought. Not like Gabriel was all the times he had experienced them. As he began to breathe steadily again he looked over to his younger brother. "What meds do you have?" Gabriel simply asked, leaning his head back against the chair.

"Anxiety pills and sleeping pills. It doesn't matter. Gabriel, you've been gone for nearly three weeks. I'm so sorry we couldn't find you and about all of this. The cops have been looking everywhere for you. This might be a stupid question but...Are you okay?" Michael asked although he was sure he already knew the answer. He knew Gabriel well, he could tell he wasn't holding up at all despite how he was acting. Gabriel looked away from Michael. Not making eye contact with him but rather looking down at the floor stained with his blood.

"I'm not" he muttered, shaking his head. "I haven't had meds, I can't even walk if I wanted to. They broke me, please Michael. Don't let them break you. I don't want you to feel how I feel. I don't want you to get hurt like this or feel as if there's nothing left. Don't let them beat you, please" he begged, looking up at him now with tears swimming in his eyes. He couldn't bare the thought of any of his brothers allowing Raphael to do what he did to him to them. "Please, I need you to keep fighting and don't give up like I have. I feel as if I can't feel anything, it's like I'm numb but I'm hurting at the same time. It's like I've just given up and accepted whatever they are going to do to me. Don't be like that Michael. I'm begging you" he continued when Michael didn't reply.

"I promise. When we get out of here I'm going to make sure you get better" Michael assured him, he couldn't say no to him. Not after everything he had been through. "When did they do that?" He asked, nodding his head down to the knife coming from his thigh.

"Yesterday. It hurts like a bitch. Raphael turned yesterday. Before that it was weird, it was like he was trying to look out for me in a weird way. Crowley stopped stealing his medication and riled him up so that he would do something to me. Crowley had been doing all the work but there were boundaries. He wasn't allowed near my scars and he couldn't hurt me so bad that I would need a hospital. That plan soon fell apart, as you can tell" Gabriel explained, looking down at himself. He couldn't believe how bad this had turned out. He was in agony yet his emotions felt as if they were malfunctioning. As if they weren't responding the correct way to his body.

"You're not broken Gabriel, I know you think that but you're not. I'm here now, okay? You're not on your own anymore" Michael tried to reassure him. Gabriel wished he was alone. He didn't want to have to share this burden with anyone else, especially his brother who he loved. He didn't want to have to watch him get hurt or listen to his cries. He would rather the others be safe and he just stay in the room alone for the rest of his days. At least he would have been able to take comfort in the fact that they were safe. He felt like Raphael was just getting started. He knew if they got bored of Michael, which he was sure they soon would, they would capture another of their brothers. He couldn't bare the thought of it. All he had been trying to do for over a month was to get back home. He was sure if he had stayed at the hospital for just another week he could have been out by now. Instead he was stuck and he felt like he could never get out.

_______________________________________________________

Alastair was the last of the Novak's to get his blood sample taken. As soon as Ellen had bought them in and told the other officers that yet another of their brothers had gone missing they were swarmed with questions. They decided not only to test their blood to compare it to the blood found on Michael's bed sheets but also to see if they were drugged which could explain why none of them woke up while Michael was being taken. "You're sure he wouldn't run away or anything?" One officer questioned them, annoying them all.

"No he wouldn't" Cas answered, knowing Lucifer and Balthazar were ready to burst with anger at any second if this carried on. "It would be really out of character okay, trust me. He wouldn't do that. Maybe you should check CCTV and see if that caught anything" Cas suggested, just trying to get the officer to stop asking them questions.

"One of my colleagues is running through the tapes now" he informed them, still not leaving which was becoming increasingly frustrating. "Would he have gone with Raphael willingly?" He asked them. Lucifer could feel his blood boil.

"No" Lucifer spoke, gritting his teeth together in order to hold back his anger. He couldn't stand this. "He would never do that so stop asking stupid questions, alright?" He asked, not raising his voice but using a stern tone. The officer sighed, about to open his mouth again before Ellen and Alastair walked into the room. He was holding a small piece of cotton on the site where the needle had been inserted.

"Just leave them alone, can't you see they don't need this right now?" Ellen asked her younger co worker who soon walked away, much to the Novak brothers relief. Cas thankful he didn't have to try and stop his brothers from lashing out at the officer.

"How long is this going to take?" Lucifer asked, his hand tangled in his hair. He just wanted to go home. He didn't have the motivation to do anything right now, unless it was looking for his brothers. He would definitely do that if the chance arose but there was no way his younger brothers would allow him unless they too came along. He didn't want them to get hurt, especially now when two of them had already been taken. He had underestimated Raphael. He really didn't believe he was this evil and sadistic but he should have learnt by now, you shouldn't trust anyone. Not even your own brother. The only people in this world he knew he could trust with anything was Michael, Gabriel, Balthazar and Castiel. That was it. Of course, he partially trusted the likes of Dean, Alastair and Ellen but he had known them for a shorter period of time. He didn't completely trust any of them.

"An hour or two. Everyone's working on it. This whole case is top priority right now. Because there's more than one patch of blood on the sheets they are analysing all of them just in case they are from different people. There's five so say four could be Michael's and one could be Raphael's for all we know. That's not to say I think it's Michael's or that they hurt him, just as an example" Ellen quickly defended as Alastair sat down beside Cas. He discarded the piece of cotton in the bin beside them before looking back up at Ellen.

"I think he did. Most of it probably is Michael's blood and I swear when I get my hands on that dick he isn't going to get away easily. No one messes with my family, no one" Lucifer explained looking up at her as he balled his hands into fists. "And he is not my family, neither is Crowley" he added. Family didn't do this to each other.

"I know. They don't deserve to be related to such lovely boys. I'm going to call Bobby to make sure Dean and Sam are alright, I'll be back in a few minutes" Ellen told them. As they were driving over they had dropped Dean back home. There wasn't enough space in the car and he didn't really want to sit in the station for hours which they thought they would have to do. He hadn't spent much time with Sam either and with the situation with the Novak's he felt as if he wanted to spend some time with him. He could not begin to imagine what they were going through and he didn't want to feel what they were feeling. He didn't want to take his little brother for granted as he knew the Novak's never would again.

"I hope it's Raphael or Crowley's blood or someone's going to get hurt. Well they are anyway" Balthazar spoke up, breaking the silence after Ellen walked away. Despite his hard exterior on the inside he was breaking. His biggest fear was coming true. People were slowly leaving even though it was no fault of theirs. He remembered when he had his breakdown at the hospital and Michael promised him he would never leave him, as did Gabriel when he found out about his fears. He couldn't help but think his worst nightmare was actually becoming reality. He could deal with a lot but this was too much for him. This was his limit. "And I won't let them get to you Cassie. No way. I will sleep on the floor in your god damn room if that's what it takes. They won't touch you" He added reassuringly, being completely serious. None of them doubted him for a second. They all knew he would do that.

"As long as you don't snore then whatever, I don't mind. Not that I can stop you even if I wanted to" Cas chuckled lightly. He had to find something to laugh at. It was either laughing or crying. He would prefer not to worry the others by crying. From the corner of his eye he saw Lucifer wipe the back of his hand across his cheek as if he was crying but was attempting to hide his emotions as usual. Cas wasn't going to ask him about it. He knew it was best to just leave it.

"I hope Michael and Gabriel are holding up. I mean, they don't even have their meds. Gabriel hasn't had them for a while. Michael was doing okay for the past week b-"

"No he wasn't" Lucifer interrupted Alastair. He wasn't angry that Alastair didn't know, he didn't expect any of them to know about how Michael was still struggling despite him trying to stay calm around others but Lucifer was his twin. He couldn't hide anything from him. "Sorry that I interrupted it's just...He wasn't. He was still hurting. You'd be surprised at how well he can hide his emotions no matter what was eating him up inside. Just, trust me on this" he explained. Immediately casting his eyes back down as soon as he had finished.

"I trust you Luci. You know him better than any of us. You can read him like a book" Balthazar reassured him, prompting Lucifer to look up again. He smiled at his younger brother gratefully. He was glad he understood. He and Michael were bonded in a way only twins could be. It wasn't that he loved Michael more than his other siblings, he loved them all equally but the bond between the twins was unbelievably strong. Everything they had done was together. All those birthdays they celebrated together. They were the one and only Novak twins and it just didn't feel right for him to be there without his twin.

"A few days ago he spoke to me about it. He made me promise not to tell anyone but I guess these are special exceptions" Lucifer began as his brothers and cousin looked towards him, intrigued.

***Flashback - Four Days Ago***

_He heard a quiet knock on his door. He grabbed his phone, seeing it was 4 a.m. It wasn't like he could sleep anyway. He walked towards the door opening it to see his twin standing on the other side of it with red eyes and blotchy red cheeks. "Michael, hey. What's the matter?" Lucifer asked in a whisper so not to wake up his other two sleeping brothers._

_"Can I come in?" He sniffled, his throat sore from crying._

_"Yeah, of course. Come on" Lucifer replied, opening the door wider and moving out of the way to allow his twin to walk into the room. He walked in, Lucifer closing the door behind him. They both sat down on the bed. "Talk to me, what's the matter?" He asked again._

_"What's not the matter is a better question" Michael spoke, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I don't know how much longer I can go on pretending I'm okay" he admitted. Lucifer's concerned blue eyes meeting Michael's wet green ones. "It hurts so much Luci, I keep dreaming about Gabriel and Raphael. I keep thinking bout Anna. Remember a few weeks ago when I had that dream? When I told you and Balthazar it was about us turning off Anna's life support?" He asked to which Lucifer responded with a nod. "It wasn't just me reliving that moment. After it happened everything went dark. You were gone but Anna was still there. She was standing up and she was angry at me. She told me that I killed her. That I was a murderer" he told his twin as tears began to fall down his face once more. "I'm no better than him, than Raphael or Dad or Zach. I killed her" he mumbled before he glanced down at his shaking hands. Lucifer put his hands on either side of Michael's face in order to get him to listen._

_"Don't you dare say that. You are nothing like them. We turned off Anna's life support so that she didn't have to suffer anymore. It wasn't just you. You are not a murderer. You are brave, I wanted to keep her alive for my own selfish reasons but you thought only of her. You cared more about her than how we would feel if she passed. That's an amazing quality to have" Lucifer praised him but Michael looked unconvinced. "Michael, listen to me. I'm not just saying his to make you feel better I mean it. Honestly, do I look like I'm lying?" He asked, their eyes meeting again, Michael shook his head. "Exactly. Don't you ever compare yourself to them. Those three have caused us so much pain and grief and you have not come close to doing that. We all need you Michael, we don't need them but we need you and you know why that is? Because you are the complete opposite of them. You're the sensible, brave, mature brother. Okay? Don't think of yourself as anything less" Lucifer told him with complete seriousness to his tone._

_"I'm trying to act like I'm okay so the others won't worry about me" Michael admitted to him._

_"I know and it's working. You don't have to hide from them, they love you Michael. We all do" Lucifer told him causing his twin to smile slightly. "How come you were awake anyway? Aren't your sleeping tablets working?" He asked. Curious as to why Michael was still awake._

_"I had a nightmare and woke up at like 3 a.m" Michael told him. His eyes were still bloodshot from crying._

_"You know you don't have to wait a whole hour to come and speak to me when you have one. Even if I'm asleep I give you permission to wake me up in advance" he smiled at his brother who seemed to be in a slightly better mood._

_"Thanks Luci, I probably won't be able to get back to sleep now though" he claimed. Every single time he had a nightmare and woke up there would often be no hope for him going back to sleep._

_"Then don't, I'll stay up with you" Lucifer told him with a smile I his face. Michael smiled back gratefully._

"...and then he tried to make me not stay up with him but I did anyway. I'm way too stubborn to give in to him, especially when he's like that" Lucifer explained, looking to the others. At some point during his story Ellen had rejoined them, sitting down beside Alastair.

"We will find your brothers, one way or another. Raphael and Crowley will be going away for a long time for this, don't worry about that" Ellen informed them. She felt as if she was taking the Novak boys under her wing as she had done with Sam and Dean. She was too maternal not to help the poor teenagers who had been through so much in their short but eventful lives. She was going to ensure that justice was served, no matter what it took.

_______________________________________________________

"We're back" Raphael's voice sang as the door flew open, he and Crowley walking down the steps. "You ready for your first taste of torture Mikey?" He asked, a smug grin on his face. "We just went to go and leave our brothers a present, before you panic. Don't worry, they weren't there. No harm done" he continued rambling before he grabbed some duct tape and put it over Michael's mouth, Crowley doing the same to Gabriel. Michael struggled against the ropes binding him to the uncomfortable chair. "Remember when we first captured Gabriel and he kept doing this? Squirming trying to escape. There is no escape Michael" Raphael laughed before he pulled something out of his pocket, putting it on his hand. "Knuckle duster" he said, lifting his hand for Michael to see as Crowley pulled out a knife, his favourite weapon. Crowley began to cut down the few unscathed sections of skin on Gabriel's chest. His muffled screams filling the room. Michael looked on completely helpless. He was interrupted when he felt a force hit his face causing him to become dazed. Before he was even able to look back up at Raphael he felt yet another blow.

The room was filled with muffled gasps, whines and cries of pain emitting from both Gabriel and Michael. An occasional chuckle leaving Raphael or Crowley's lips. "Want to swap?" Raphael asked, looking over at Crowley who smiled and nodded. They swapped over, much to Crowley's enjoyment. Gabriel was hard to cut anymore. His skin was too damaged already. He looked at Michael's face, beaten and bruised from Raphael.

"A clean canvas with you. Hey, does he have any scars I should know about?" Crowley asked, looking over to Raphael who had already delivered a blow to Gabriel's face. Raphael simply shook his head before he punched Gabriel yet again in he jaw. Crowley smiled sadistically at that. He had less limitations with Michael it seemed. He rolled up Michael's sleeve, making a long deep cut across his forearm. Blood immediately spilling to the floor from his arm. He made a few more, some deeper than others before he stopped, as if he had a realisation. He put the knife in his pocket before walking towards the back of the room, not to the table where Michael could clearly see the weapons laid out. He wasn't complaining though. He was happy to have some relief from the pain.

He saw Crowley walking back over, holding something in his hands. When he got closer Michael realised it was a plastic carrier bag. Crowley smiled before standing behind Michael and placing the bag over Michael's head, pulling it back to suffocate Michael. He struggled, gasping for breath to no avail everything was blurred through the bag. He could hear the insane laughter from both Raphael and Crowley. Crowley stopped applying pressure, allowing Michael to breathe for just a few seconds before he carried the procedure out once again.

He did this at least five more times, Michael couldn't keep count until he pulled the bag so far back that he pulled Michael down with it. He came crashing to the ground, his head hitting the concrete floor below. The plastic bag was still over his head but he didn't have the motivation to move a muscle. He saw red blood pour out onto the floor from where he must have hit his head. He felt someone grab the bag, taking it off his head. His eyes closed as he tried to regain his thoughts. "Michael!" Gabriel gasped as the duct tape was torn off his mouth. His voice sounded like an echo. His head felt fuzzy. He felt the duct tape be ripped harshly from his lips, his eyelids still too heavy to open. "What the fuck!?" Gabriel shouted at the two standing before him.

Michael managed to open his eyes slightly, the first thing he saw was the small pool of blood he was lying in. He looked up to see Raphael and Crowley standing in front of Gabriel. "Leave...him" Michael managed to utter as he clawed his finger tips at the floor in a desperate attempt to somehow get up. The three of them looked over to him. Gabriel's face was, unbelievably, even more injured than it was before. "Gabe..."he tried but he was too dazed to even think straight or form a coherent sentence. He had only been here for a matter of hours and it felt like he might have a concussion. If that's what they could do in such a short period of time what the hell had they done to Gabriel?

He felt himself lifting up and was suddenly back on all four legs of the chair. Gabriel was leaning over as much as he possibly could from where he was sitting in an attempt to get closer to Michael. "Well that was fun, we'll be back in a few hours" Raphael breathed a chuckle before he and Crowley ascended up the stairs.

"Michael. Can you hear me?" Gabriel asked, he was met with a mutter in response. "Crap" he breathed as he tried to get closer to his brother. Blood was still trickling down the side of his face. Michael looked over to Gabriel, the brothers eyes locking. "Listen to me, I'm here okay? I'm right here, always. Don't worry about anything" he assured him despite the vacant expression in his older brothers eyes. Michael nodded, listening to Gabriel's words.

"I'm here too little brother" he managed to say quietly. "I always will be" Michael added as his vision began to focus properly rather than showing him blurry outlines. Gabriel smiled appreciatively despite all the pain he was in. They still hadn't taken the knife from his leg, the stabbing feeling a constant reminder that Raphael had beaten him but he didn't want him to beat Michael. He didn't want him to get the best of his older brother. It was his greatest fear at this point. He would give anything so long as he didn't have to feel how Gabriel felt.

"Don't lose yourself, please. Remember, you promised me you wouldn't let them break you. Don't let them! You are better than they are and stronger. Please, for me, Michael. Don't let them do it" he begged, Michael seemingly slowly regaining himself from the beating he had just took.

"For you, I promise. Only if you promise that when get out of this shit hole you will let us help you build yourself back together. I know you feel broken but I won't let you stay like that for long" Michael suggested.

"I promise" Gabriel smiled brokenly at him. "I've missed you" he added. Despite him not being happy at the fact that Michael had been captured he was happy that he wasn't alone and that he was able to see one of his brothers. He knew it was selfish but being alone for nearly three whole weeks had made him find a new appreciation for human company. He was genuinely afraid of being alone.

_______________________________________________________

The Novak boys were ushered into the small room so that Ellen, along with her co worker, who was one of the people who examined the blood work, was able to tell them who's blood it was. They all sat down apart from Balthazar who opted for leaning against the wall rather than sitting. He was too anxious to sit down. "Let me just double check before I tell you. Lucifer is Michael's twin, Crowley is Alastair's brother and your three's cousin and then Raphael is the three of yours half brother, right?" She asked to which all of them nodded in confirmation. "Okay, good. Don't want to give the wrong information. First of all you all had chloroform in your system, besides Alastair of course. They must have used it to make sure you wouldn't wake up" she informed them, Balthazar feeling a little sick at the fact Raphael had been able to get that close to them without them even knowing. "The blood, well it's not just one persons. Most of it, I'm afraid was Michael's blood but a few of the smaller specks actually belonged to Crowley. We already had his blood work on the system so we double checked it on that and it was definitely his. We are pretty much 100% sure on Michael's as well. It's undeniable, the blood was very similar to Lucifer's as well as being similar to Balthazar's and Castiel's too. If this was Raphael's it wouldn't have been as close of a match, especially to Lucifer's blood" she told them, looking to each of them. They all had saddened looks on their faces. She looked over to Balthazar who looked more angry than upset.

"I hate him" he muttered causing everyone in the room to turn in their seats to look over to him. His gaze was downcast towards the floor. "I hate him so much" he repeated, this time looking up at the others. "If you guys don't find my brothers I swear I will make sure you regret it" he warned Ellen and her coworker who looked understanding but also a little intimidated by the look in the young boys icy blue eyes. Cas immediately stood up, walking over to Balthazar. He wasn't intimidated by him, he knew his brother wouldn't hurt him.

"Balthazar, calm down. It's not their fault. Okay? Just calm down" Cas tried as he slowly approached him. His older brother shook his head reluctantly.

"I can't calm down Cas! Don't you get that!?" He snapped, immediately regretting his outburst when he saw Cas take a step back from him. "Shit...Cassie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just being a dick by projecting my anger onto others again" he quickly apologised but Cas understood. He knew everyone of them would deal with the situation differently. Balthazar reacted with anger and that was just his way of expressing his emotions. Lucifer was emotionally constipated while Cas simply tried to think of the few positives. At least Gabriel wasn't alone, he thought. Michael had only been there for a short amount of time, how bad could they have hurt him in that time? It couldn't be that much. "You and Luci are the only ones who understand how I feel right now. I shouldn't be pushing you away. I'm sorry" he apologised yet again.

"It's alright, we know exactly how you feel. I know you don't mean to lash out, don't worry about it" Cas smiled at his brother who's eyes swam with guilt and remorse. He wasn't thinking straight. His mind was clouded with images of what could be happening to his brothers and he couldn't bare it. It was all he could think about. He needed them. Michael wasn't there to calm him down and Gabriel wasn't here to distract him by making him laugh. Nothing felt right.

"I can assure you this case is top priority. We are trying all that we can to find your brothers" Ellen's co worker informed them, a warm yet sympathetic smile on her face.

Lucifer was being quiet. Much more quiet than usual. He was usually loud, even if he was upset but he was uncharacteristically silent on the matter. Despite all of the Novak brothers losing two of their brothers one of them happened to be Lucifer's twin. Of course, he wasn't more upset about it being Michael than he would be for any of them but he just seemed lost without the presence of his twin. They were a unit, two halves that made a whole. He had to try and remain strong despite this because his two youngest brothers needed him. Now more than ever. He wouldn't allow this to take over. He stood from his chair silently, walking over to his baby brothers, the smallest smile managing to form on his lips. He put one arm around Cas before he put his other around Balthazar. "We need to take care of each other, okay? Michael and Gabriel have been taken and the only thing we can do is hope they get bought back to us sooner rather than later but for now we are all we have left. There is nothing we can do to make the process of finding them faster besides complying with the police, alright? No one is touching you two. No one. I will stay up all damn night if that's what it takes. We are Novak's and Novak's don't give up on each other. We remain together through everything, just like we always have and when the other two are found we help them get through this as much as we can, okay?" Lucifer asked, speaking up for the first time since they entered the room. Alastair and Ellen smiled at them, happy Lucifer was still with them. Despite him not having Michael to help him he was able to ground his two younger brothers better than anyone.

"You're right" Balthazar mumbled, leaning into his older brothers touch. "We can't give up on them" he added as Lucifer stroked his back.

"We have been though so much. We always get through it" Cas spoke up. Lucifer leaned down slightly, kissing his youngest brothers hair.

"Yes we do Cassie. Yes we do"

_______________________________________________________

Gabriel had somehow managed to fall asleep, he must have been exhausted. Michael just looked at his younger brother, almost examining him. He couldn't believe the state he was in, he wouldn't say it out loud but when he first saw him it hurt. Every cut, every broken bone, his broken spirit. He couldn't believe this could happen to someone like Gabriel. Someone so funny and charismatic, someone who had done nothing to deserve such pain. As he slept he was leaned over towards Michael. As if he wanted to be as close to him as he could possibly be. Michael needed to get them out of here. He looked up at the boarded window. There had to be a way to get out. As he looked over at it, as if trying to solve a problem the door opened. Their two tormentors walking down the stairs. Michael looked over to Gabriel who was still sleeping. The footsteps were soon interrupted by a loud gunshot in the room, jumping Gabriel awake. He looked down at himself checking for any more bullet wounds. He frantically looked over to Michael and he saw blood pooling below Michael, it was coming from his leg. "Remember that time when uncle Zach shot you in the foot? How does the leg feel? Better, Worse?" Raphael asked him tauntingly. Gabriel looked to Michael's face. His expression screwed up in pain. He pointed his gun towards Gabriel. "Answer me or I blow his brains out" he barked. Michael looked up at him. Seeing the gun pointed at his brother made his heart skip a beat.

"Worse, it hurts more" he forced himself to say. Raphael lowered the gun from Gabriel, causing Michael to sigh with relief. Raphael walked towards him, gun still in hand. He got close, pressing the gun against Michael's upper arm, pulling the trigger with no second thought. Michael screamed in pain. He looked at the gun. Still pressed against his arm. He took the opportunity to lunge forward, biting Raphael's hand as hard as he could causing Raphael to immediately back away. His hand bleeding.

"You fucking asshole!" Raphael barked at him before stepping forward again, punching Michael around the jaw as hard as he could. Michael could have sworn he heard his jaw crack. His head began spinning again. "Gabriel tried that one on Crowley. Guess you two do think alike" Raphael acknowledged before he leaned down, pulling Michael's hair back. This exposed Michael's neck. "Crowley, hit him" Raphael commanded. Crowley wasn't complaining. He walked forward punching Michael, not as hard as he could but with quite a lot of force, straight in the throat. He began to choke and splutter as soon as the impact hit. He felt as if he couldn't breathe.

"Stop it! Leave him alone! Please! I'm begging you!" Gabriel tried as he looked over at his coughing brother. Crowley walked over, immediately slapping Gabriel around the face.

"I like our new play thing. He's fun. You should be happy the attention isn't all on you" Crowley told him, a sick twisted smile on his lips. How in the hell did he expect Gabriel to be happy with the fact that his brother was being shot right in front of him!? Crowley walked away, back over to Michael who was coughing up blood. Gabriel wasn't sure how long this was going to go on for. He would much rather be the one receiving the beatings rather than have to watch as Michael did. He looked away from the scene, he wasn't able to watch. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he faced away from his brother but could hear his whimpers and cries of pain. All he wanted was for it to be over but Michael's torture seemed never ending and Gabriel was helpless. All he wanted was to help him but he couldn't. He just silently prayed that they would stop. That's all he could do at this point. He was powerless.

_______________________________________________________

The three brothers were dropped home by Ellen, police already outside their house to ensure that no one is able to get in or out of the house without them knowing. It felt like they were on lockdown. They walked into the house. Everything seemed normal. Lucifer turned the light on in the living room to see a tape lying on the table by the TV. He picked up the tape, the front of it read 'this is why it happened.' "What's that?" Balthazar asked as he and Cas walked into the living room. Lucifer didn't speak, he just handed it to him. Balthazar immediately barged past Lucifer to put the tape in. They all stood, crowding around the TV as the tape started. It was just Gabriel so this video must have been taken before Michael was captured. They watched as Raphael pressed a rod into a wound on Gabriel's shoulder.

"Say it!" He ordered but Gabriel continued to resist. The torture continued on for several minutes before Raphael plunged a knife into Gabriel's thigh, emitting a gasp from the three brothers. After that Gabriel finally couldn't take anymore.

"I...Shit...I don't...don't want to be rescued...I want...to stay...and I...I want my...family to join me"

His voice sounded reluctant but he just wanted to stop the pain. The tape ended just moments after what he said, All three brothers in disbelief at what they had watched. How could Raphael be so cruel? They would never understand.

Cas was the one who went outside to tell the cops outside about the tape, they took it after watching it since it could be used as evidence. Balthazar couldn't wait to get his hands on Raphael and Crowley. He was going to make sure they paid for this, for what they had done to his brothers.

The three of them decided upon sleeping downstairs, that way they could all be together and feel safe. Despite the comfort of sleeping in the same room none of them could sleep. Not after they day they had. It felt odd to Lucifer that anything could be happening to Michael and Gabriel at this very second and he wouldn't know about it. They could be being shot, stabbed or even killed and he would have no idea. There was nothing he could do. He felt so helpless. Usually if there was a problem he could at least face the tormentor but this time the tormentors were too coward to show their faces anywhere near them.

It felt as if they were stuck in an endless spiral. He was worried about who would be the next person to be taken by Raphael and Crowley. Which member of their family would be forced to endure the pain and suffering Michael and Gabriel were experiencing even as he thought this. He prayed that it was him. He prayed to be the next to be taken. He would rather that than his younger brothers or his cousin be taken.

One thing he did know for sure was that when he saw Raphael there would be no mercy, no remorse. Raphael and Crowley had tortured his brothers, they deserved all the pain they would receive once Lucifer got a hold of them.

No one touched his family and got away with it.


	27. They Will Suffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty quick update and quite a long chapter! Enjoy and thank you so much for all the comments and kudos. They mean a lot to me.

Chapter Twenty Seven:

"We're going to do it today, right?" Gabriel whispered to his older brother who was sitting beside him, bloody and bruised. Michael simply nodded, their tormentors couldn't know of their plan. They were going to get out tonight, Michael would make sure of that.

Raphael and Crowley had been conspiring all week telling the two of them that they were going to be bringing them 'a new room mate' today. Of course, they would leave at night which was when they would make their escape. "Rise and shine" Raphael's voice rang throughout the room as the door slammed open, he walked down towards them with Crowley not far behind. Michael and Gabriel looked to each other, as if to comfort one another before the inevitable happened. Raphael walked over to Gabriel, looking down at the knife which was still protruding from his leg. His skin had began to grow back but around the knife, his whole leg was completely discoloured. Michael feared that if they didn't get him out of here soon he would have to have his whole leg amputated. Raphael grabbed onto the handle, putting pressure on the blade which was digging at the flesh in his leg. Gabriel pursed his lips, willing himself not to scream at the pain. Raphael began to twist the knife slightly, the skin which had began to grow ripping and bleeding.

"Stop! Stop! Please!" Gabriel begged causing Raphael to utter a laugh. He let go of the knife, much to Gabriel's relief. He leaned his head back against the chair, just willing for this day to go fast. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Are you excited for one of your brothers to be joining you?" Raphael asked, looking between the two of them. "Now who should I pick? Lucifer, our stupidly protective yet strong brother. Balthazar, our angry little brother or Cassie, our innocent baby brother? What do you think, Crowley?" Raphael questioned, looking towards him.

"They all sound fun" Crowley shrugged, a smile lingering on his lips. "We'll surprise you two later with who it is" he added, a glimmer of joy in his eyes. He picked up his knife, twirling it in his fingers before walking towards Michael. The older Novak closed his eyes, as the blade cut his skin he just thought about the fact that he would, if all things went to plan, would be out of here with Gabriel as soon as Raphael and Crowley had left. He just prayed that the night would fall sooner rather than later.

_______________________________________________________

Cas opened his eyes, looking straight ahead. Balthazar was still curled up asleep while Lucifer was sitting up on his phone. Ever since Michael went missing nine days ago they had slept downstairs as if to protect each other. "What time is it?" Cas asked, his voice croaky. Lucifer looked up at him, his eyes dark from sleep deprivation but yet he still managed to smile.

"Like 3 p.m" Lucifer told him. This wasn't unusual for how things were going. If they ended up sleeping they would fall to sleep at around 7 or 8 a.m. They felt as if they couldn't sleep before that. Raphael always struck at night, he wouldn't dare come by the house during the day. Despite the police constantly parked outside their house they felt like that wasn't enough. Their brother wasn't stupid, he was very intelligent. They guessed he could figure out a way to get in. "He didn't get to sleep until 10 so he might be asleep a little while longer" Lucifer informed Cas who propped himself up to grab his glasses.

"And you, have you been to sleep?" Cas asked him, pushing the glasses onto his nose. Lucifer simply shook his head in reply as he continued to scroll on his phone. Cas was worried about his older brother. He continued to remain protective, that trait never fading but he seemed distant. Cas guessed it was because he was just always thinking, he couldn't stop his brain from working all hours of the day no matter how tired he was. "Maybe you should sleep too, even just for an hour or two" Cas suggested to him, worried about his wellbeing.

"No it's okay, I'm fine" Lucifer shrugged. His mind was screaming too much for him to even consider the possibility of sleep. Cas picked up his phone which Lucifer had bought for him the day after Michael went missing. Balthazar had told him to 'use it for sexting, nudes and porn' which had, of course, prompted him to roll his eyes at his older brother. Lucifer wasn't too impressed either. He bought it so that Cas could call them just in case he needed help or was in a sticky situation. He saw that he had a text from Dean. He smiled at that, he could always make him feel just a little better in this whole mess. "Let me guess, text from Dean?" The older Novak asked, lifting his eyebrows. Cas blushed a little.

"Yeah" he replied before he texted Dean back. He was still relatively new to using smart phones but he thought he was getting used to them now. He had learnt that you could send pictures since he had wanted to 'somehow transfer a few pictures from Lucifer's phone to his own.' "Can Dean come round? If Balthazar's not awake we'll just go upstairs" Cas asked, using puppy dog eyes on his older brother.

"Yeah just don't have sex unless you intend on cleaning up after. I'm not going anywhere near your cum stained sheets" Lucifer told him, making a disgusted face at the mere thought. Cas rolled his eyes, texting Dean to tell him he could come over for a while.

"For the record, sex is the last thing on my mind right now" Cas told him, a hint of sass in his voice which caused Lucifer to breathe out a laugh. His little brother somehow still managing to perk up his mood despite the fact he was fighting a war in his own mind.

Balthazar suddenly sat up, startling the other two in the room. He frantically looked around the room, laying eyes on his brothers. "Where's Michael?" He asked questioningly. This caused the other two to look at each other in concern. "And Gabriel?" He added as he looked around the room. He looked extremely confused and dazed. There was no gentle way to remind him that two of his brothers had been kidnapped and were probably being tortured this very second by their half brother. "Wait" he stopped, sitting up more. His confused expression turned into one of pure sadness. "I remember, it doesn't matter" he sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Lucifer asked him, noticing all the signs of it. Michael would always wake up confused and sometimes unsure of where he was. Balthazar nodded, his eyes downcast. At that Lucifer pocketed his phone, walking over to his younger brother. He sat beside him, trying to meet his gaze. "Want to talk about it?" He questioned.

"It wasn't that bad, it probably sounds stupid" he muttered and looked up. Both of his brothers still looking intrigued and as if they wanted to listen to him. "It was just that...We were like all together. Including Mom, Dad and Anna. Then everyone started going away, just leaving and not coming back. I was just there all on my own and I just...I can't do that. I'm not good at being on my own" he explained, Lucifer remembering his younger brothers breakdown after Gabriel was put into hospital.

"We are going to get Michael and Gabriel back, okay? I am not going to leave you, guessing Cas won't either. We're brothers, we will always be together" Lucifer assured him, clapping a hand on Balthazar's shoulder. He smiled appreciatively just when the door knocked. Cas stood up, walking to the door. "It's Dean, don't worry" Lucifer told Balthazar who looked a little confused. Cas walked back into the room, Dean following behind him. "Did you lock the door?" Lucifer asked immediately.

"Yes I did, don't worry" Cas replied, sitting back down on the sofa with Dean sitting beside him a few seconds later.

"Have the police found anything new?" Dean asked, looking to all of them. Cas wrapped his hands around Dean's arm, leaning his head on his shoulder.

"No, no more news since someone found that picture stuck to a lamppost" Lucifer informed him, sighing. A few days prior a woman who was walking down the street had seen a picture of the two tied up, bloody and bruised on a lamppost and handed it into the police. Michael and Gabriel's faces had been on TV in the search for them. The media had brang up the whole Zachariah incident once again as well, at this point it felt like their lives were just being broadcast for everyone to see. "I hope they're alright" he muttered, he would give anything to bring his brothers back home safely. From the picture they knew about the fact Gabriel still had a knife in his leg which police had told them was worrying since it being in there for so long can cause complications. He had blood everywhere. Michael was also beat up but not so much as Gabriel. His jaw was swollen, really swollen. He had bruises everywhere, blood all over him and had two visible gunshot wounds. Lucifer worried of what else the two tormentors were capable of. He knew they wouldn't kill his brothers since if they wanted to do that they would have already. They had captured Gabriel for a month now they could have killed him on several occasions in that space of time if that was their aim. The worry of them dying was still in the back of his mind but the forefront was worrying about how hurt they would be both physically and emotionally. They were his two brothers who were already on medication for mental health issues, Gabriel was in a god damn mental hospital. It was hard enough to deal with being tortured by your own brother and cousin without those problems and it would be even harder to cope with the issues they were dealing with. They were extremely vulnerable and Raphael had just taken advantage of that.

At first he thought Cas would be the next one to be taken but now he wasn't so sure. If he really was working his way from most vulnerable to least than Cas would be the last one to be taken with how things stood. Balthazar was a wreck. He tried to play off that he was okay but it was clear to see by just looking at him that he wasn't. His worst fears were coming to reality and he couldn't handle it. Lucifer wasn't much better off. The loss of his twin had completely thrown him off. It was hard enough to deal with one brother going missing but two? He didn't know what to do. He was so protective and the fact that he was unable to protect them was crushing him. Cas was dealing with this situation the best, their baby brother. He was upset, worried, losing his mind but he was somehow able to try and remain positive. Of course, he feared the worst but he thought of the least, he had turned into a complete optimist after getting his sight back which was understandable. It was a miracle that he could see. The other two tried to share this optimism but they just couldn't. It was too much. For once Cas was the one who was trying to hold his brothers together in this dark time. The other two tried but they were not emotionally stable enough to efficiently help anyone, including themselves.

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** 4 a.m **

"See you two later when we bring another brother back. We won't tell you who we are taking, wouldn't want to ruin the surprise" Raphael said, smiling at them before he and Crowley walked up the stairs. As soon as the door was closed and their footsteps began to get further and further away from the door that was when the plan started. Both of the boys had duct tape covering their mouths but that wouldn't last for long. Michael leaned down towards the arm of the chair, stretching his neck to get his head towards his fingers. Despite his restricted movement due to the ropes holding him back he was just about able to grab hold of the end of the tape and began to rip it from his lips. He stopped when he heard a noise. It was quiet but it was there. He soon realised it was just the sound of the car Crowley and Raphael must have stolen earlier today to capture one of their brothers. Michael had to work faster. He ripped the tape from his lips as quickly as he could before he began biting and pulling at the ropes holding down his wrists.

Gabriel had told him about his attempt to escape which had, in turn, given Michael this idea. Gabriel was looking over at Michael, trying to keep his eyes open after the beatings they had been receiving all day. Whips, punches, kicks, cuts, burns. Everything. Michael himself was even in agony but he wouldn't let this chance slip away from him. His hands were soon free, he began to undo the ropes on his ankles before he quickly stood up causing him to become drowsy. Despite this he stumbled over to his younger brother, kneeling in front of him before ripping off the tape covering his mouth, he began to work on undoing the ropes. He was working as quick as his body would allow him to. Blood was dripping from Michael's back but he wouldn't let it prevent him from getting them out.

He carefully unknotted the last rope which restrained Gabriel's broken ankle before rushing over to the table which had all the tools. On there he picked up a screwdriver, dragging his chair towards the window and standing on it to begin taking the planks of wood off the window. He glanced over at Gabriel, looking to see how he was holding up. He didn't look good, he was extremely pale. The only colouration on his skin was the red blood staining him and the burn marks that painted his skin. He went back to unscrewing the nails holding the wood in place, working at a faster pace than he probably should.

"We are going to get out of here. The nails are actually coming out" Michael muttered under his breath, a small smile forming in his face as hope glistened in his green eyes. He didn't know how long this was going to take but he was going at the quickest pace he could muster. All he wanted was to get himself and Gabriel the hell out of here and warn their brothers about Raphael's plans. All they needed to do was escape the room which Raphael had designed to keep them in.

After at least ten minutes straight of unscrewing the screws which were pinning the planks of wood to the wall Michael finally was able to open the window. He quickly hopped down off the chair. He hurried towards Gabriel as quickly as possible despite the bullet still lodged in his leg as well as all of the injuries he had sustained. He leant down slightly, draping Gabriel's arm over his shoulder. Gabriel stood, almost losing his footing but was supported by Michael. "Can you walk to the window?" Michael asked him breathlessly as sweat glazed his skin.

"Yeah" he replied before he began taking slow but steady steps with Michael helping him stand. They reached the chair, Michael practically lifting Gabriel onto it before he clasped his hands together a little above the chair. Gabriel stepped onto his older brothers hands, Michael lifting him up towards the open window. Once Gabriel was off the chair and safely on the window sill Michael stood up on the chair behind him. Being taller than Gabriel meant he was actually able to see out of the window as he stood on the chair. He could see how far down the ground was.

"You ready?" Michael asked Gabriel who nodded. Michael took hold of Gabriel's hands as the younger Novak, who was facing towards Michael, dangled his legs out of the window leaving Michael to hold up his whole body weight with his arms. His body begged him to just let go of his younger brother but he wouldn't do that, he wouldn't let Raphael win. He had promised Gabriel. He gently began to lower Gabriel to the ground.

"I'm there" Gabriel's voice called before Michael let go of his hands and Gabriel stumbled to the left slightly, collapsing to the ground. His legs wouldn't allow him to put any weight on them. Michael got up on the window sill, swinging his legs over and was somehow able to hold his body weight up too, he jumped the short distance to the floor, hurting his foot but a sprain was nothing compared to the torture he was trying to escape. They were both outside now. The plan had actually worked. Michael bent down, scooping Gabriel off the ground to pick him up bridal style.

"I've got you, it's okay. We're getting out" Michael whispered to him as he walked towards the end of the alley, his younger brother almost passed out in his arms. He walked at the quickest pace he could muster. Carrying his own weight as well as Gabriel's. While Gabriel wasn't particularly heavy the added weight was straining due to all of the injuries which resided in Michael's torn up, bloody and bruised body.

He slowly approached the end of the alley way, fatigue setting in. He looked down at Gabriel, his face so twisted with pain. He had to do this no matter what. He had to do this to protect Gabriel and the rest of his brothers. His vision was blurry from the exhaustion he was experiencing but he saw a few cars driving down the street. He reached the end of the alley, coming out into the open. He looked around the deserted streets. He had no idea what time it was but it looked like it was early hours of the morning. "Phone box" Gabriel muttered, pointing towards a red telephone box. Michael hurried towards it.

Once he reached it he went inside, carefully lowering Gabriel's legs to the ground to allow him to lean against the side of the phone box. He dialled 911, his and Gabriel's blood plastering the walls of the phone box.

"911 what's your emergency?" The operator asked making Michael sigh with relief.

"My name is Michael Novak. I got kidnapped by my brother. You need to help us. We're on some street with...um...a bunch of shops. Um I-"

"What is going on in here!?" A female voice sounded from behind him. She had seen the blood over the walls of the telephone box and seen Gabriel slumped against the wall. This concerned her. Michael turned around and she gasped once she saw him. "You're that kid who went missing, right?"

"Yeah, can you talk to the cops? I don't know what the hell street this is. Please" he begged holding out the phone to her. The girl took the phone, holding it to her ear as she began to tell the police their exact location. Michael stepped back from her. His knees buckled and he practically fell next to Gabriel. He took hold of his brothers hand. "We're free Gabriel. You listening? It's all going to be okay now I promise" Michael soothed his younger brother before running a hand through his bloody hair. Gabriel's eyes met Michael's and he managed to conjure a small smile before he leaned his head on Michael's shoulder.

"Thank you Mikey" he uttered, Michael leaning into his touch.

"The cops are coming" she told them leaning away from the phone but not putting it on the hook. She stayed on the line. "And ambulances, do you need to call anyone?" She asked and Michael nodded eagerly. "What's the number?" She asked taking out her phone. Michael told her Lucifer's number, she put it on speakerphone as it began to ring out. "Don't want your blood on my phone, sorry" she apologised but Michael just uttered a small laugh.

"It's okay" he smiled at her, just grateful she was willing to help. He knew some people wouldn't have. Lucifer picked up the phone. His voice sending chills down Michael's spine. His still felt like a dream it felt like it wasn't real. "It's me Luci. It's Michael"  
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"Michael!?" Lucifer asked sitting up alarming Balthazar, Cas and Dean who was staying the night. "Where the hell are you? Are you with Gabriel?" He asked, the panic clear in his tone.

"Like I'd leave without him. Of course he's here, he's just kinda...not in good shape. We've called the cops. We escaped but listen to me" he paused for a second, coughing. "Raphael is coming for you. He's coming to take another one of you. Call the cops now. You don't want to experience this. I will call you when we are at the hospital. Just call the cops Luci, look after Balthazar and Cas. Don't get yourself kidnapped" Michael ordered him, the passion clear in his tone. "Bye Luci, see you soon" his voice said before the line cut out.

"What the hell was that!?" Balthazar's asked, getting up off the sofa. Lucifer ignored him, quickly dialling 911. "Don't ignore me!"

"Shhh! Hello. Yeah we need more cops at our house. The Novak's, Raphael is coming for us. Make sure people go out to my other two brothers as well. They just called me. Okay. Hurry!" Lucifer told them, staying on he line but lowering his phone. He looked at Balthazar who was standing directly in front of him with confusion swimming in his blue eyes. "Michael and Gabriel escaped but Raphael's coming for us, right now" Lucifer informed them before they suddenly heard a crash from the back of the house, as if a window had been smashed. They all jumped. Cas and Dean standing up. Lucifer pushed them all behind him but, of course, Balthazar wouldn't allow that. He stood by his brother. Suddenly they saw two figures walking towards them. Lucifer bent down slightly, taking the knife he always hid in his pillow out. "Back the hell up" he warned, holding the knife up. Ready to use it if needed.

"Well look at you Luci, it's like you were prepared for our arrival" Raphael laughed. Cas leaned back slightly looking out the window to see the police car that was guarding their house was still there. He discreetly tried to get their attention as Raphael spoke to his blonde brothers. They were probably asleep, shitty cops.

"You fucking bastard, you have the god damn nerve to come in here after everything you've done! You inconsiderate a-" Balthazar stopped as he was walking towards Raphael when he pulled a gun out. He didn't walk back though, just stayed in position. "You don't want us dead. If you did you would have killed us by now and you. Crowley. What in the hell is wrong with you!? You don't even know us and you kidnap and torture two of our brothers! We're your cousins doesn't that mean anything!?" He asked demandingly before Crowley turned to look at Raphael.

"You told me it wasn't true" he stated, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy. Lucifer dragged Balthazar back to where they were huddled together in a group. "Did you lie to my face!?" He asked, raising his voice and completely invading Raphael's personal bubble.

"Can you blame me! You've gone soft! You would have probably stopped torturing them if you found out!" Raphael shouted at him, shoving him back a little. Lucifer lifted the phone to his mouth, whispering 'they're here' to the 911 operator who was still on the line. Just before he finished his sentence the two officers who were guarding the house ran in as Raphael and Crowley argued amongst themselves.

"Put your weapons on the ground!" One of them shouted, Raphael rolled his eyes and dropped the gun he was holding. Crowley dropped his knife, as did Lucifer. "You two are under arrest" he stated just before other officers came rushing in through both the front and back. They all had their guns aimed at the two of them. They were both handcuffed and led out of the room, Raphael smiling as he was while Crowley looked terrified.

"Boys!" A familiar female voice called out from across the room. They all looked over, seeing Ellen who was calling them over, they all quickly rushed over to her. "Follow me, I'm going to take you to see Gabriel and Michael."

_______________________________________________________

"It's all going to be okay now" Michael soothed his brother who was still leaning against him and holding his hand, both of them appreciating the comfort the touch was giving them. All they had wanted to do for the past nine days of being in the same room together was to comfort each other and now they finally could even though Gabriel was half passed out. "Thank you so much for stopping. This honestly means so much" Michael smiled up at the girl who had stopped to help them.

"No problem, it's the least I can do. You guys look like hell" she said bluntly making Michael chuckle a little. At least she wasn't lying.

"Yeah and I feel like hell too" he told her, a slight glimmer of fear in his eyes despite the artificial smile he had plastered in his face.

"He's your brother, right?" She asked, crouching down to be at eye level with them. She didn't want to seem as if she was talking down to them.

"Yeah, he's my brother" he replied, smiling down at him. He was so happy he could finally get Gabriel to safety. "Our families pretty close, what's left of it anyway. Guessing you heard about our family dramas in the press though" he added, his eyes downcast. He felt ashamed at the fact people would know about their family drama. They must have seemed crazy to the public.

"Yeah but I don't judge" she assured him with a smile just as a police car pulled up. She looked over at it, seeing boys who were definitely too young to be police officers run out of it before a woman, who was an officer ran out. "Your brothers are here, I'll get out the way" she told Michael about to stand up before he grabbed her hand.

"Wait, what's your name?" He asked, wanting to know the name of the girl who had pretty much saved their brothers necks.

"Hanna, don't worry. You'll see me again" she smiled before she stepped out of the telephone box. Lucifer of course was the first one to step in after she had left, the panic evident in his eyes.

"Oh my god" he breathed putting a hand on both of their necks. It was as if he was touching them to make sure they were real. Balthazar barged in too, practically falling to his knees beside Lucifer.

"Luci, Balthazar" Gabriel mumbled, his eyes half closed. Michael looked outside to see Cas and Dean talking to Hanna while Ellen was talking on her radio, presumably telling the rest of the police and ambulances to hurry the hell up. "Thank you Mikey" he smiled leaning closer to his older brother, it seemed to have hit him the fact they were actually out of that place. Seeing his brothers had just confirmed for him that he was safe.

"It's okay" Michael told him, kissing his blood stained hair. He looked up at Lucifer and Balthazar who both had wet, tearful eyes. "Don't cry guys" Michael said. He could barely keep himself together, he just had to stay strong for Gabriel while he was here. He wouldn't break his promise to him. Michael put his hand out, holding onto Lucifer's wrist while Gabriel seemed to copy that example and do the same to Balthazar.

Sirens were suddenly heard in the distance, relief hitting all of them. Cas opened the door to the telephone box. He looked down at his brothers. He was so glad to see them again but the state they were in wasn't exactly what he wanted to see. Michael took his hand from Lucifer's wrist, covering his mouth as he coughed up blood. He closed his eyes and leaned his painful head on the side of the telephone box. The sirens came to a stop, paramedics and police running out towards them. Cas moved out of the way for the paramedics to get in, Lucifer and Balthazar getting up to walk out too. Dean was still talking to Hanna, asking her about what had happened.

"You saved us and helped our brothers, how can we even repay you?" Cas asked her, she blushed slightly at that.

"Well you can give me one of your numbers. I would love to see how they are getting on after this whole thing, besides I think me and Michael might have become friends sitting in there talking about crap" she told them as she looked over to them. The paramedics were putting Gabriel in a stretcher first. He seemed reluctant to let go of Michael but he must have gave him some reassurance since he seemed to calm down a little. As soon as Gabriel was away from him though tears began to fall from his eyes.

"Give her my number, one sec" Lucifer muttered before he walked over to Michael, seeing him crying. He sat down beside him, putting his arm around his twin. "It's alright Michael. It's going to be just fine. Come on its alright" Lucifer reassured him as his twin openly sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm here now. We are here. We're together again" he reminded him, rubbing Michael's back in an attempt to try and calm him down.

"It was horrible in there Luci. I can't even explain it in words. I can't" he choked as the sobs wracked his body. Lucifer just held him. The others were looking on with concern but knew the twins needed to just be alone right now. Only Lucifer could calm Michael down when he was in this state.

"I can't even imagine what you and Gabriel went through but we are here now...Hang on...Hey! One of you get in there with Gabriel. He can't do this on his own!" Lucifer shouted over to his brothers. Balthazar immediately running over to the ambulance which Gabriel was in. "Anyways, it's going to be alright. Raphael and Crowley got caught. They're going to jail. We are safe, finally" Lucifer assured him just as paramedics approached with a stretcher for Michael. "We aren't leaving you again" he added before standing up, reluctantly letting go of his weeping twin. He walked out of the telephone box. Hanna had gone, presumably back home. Ellen was talking to Dean and Cas.

"Is he...Well...Kind of okay?" Cas asked nervously as he walked over to Lucifer, leaving Ellen and Dean to talk.

"I don't know what the hell those sickos did to them but they aren't just hurt physically. They're not exactly in a good mental state either" Lucifer told his youngest brother as they watched Michael being carried on the stretcher. He ran a hand through his hair, stressed by the situation. "Do you want to go in with Gabriel or Michael?" He asked. Cas felt as if he couldn't choose which one he would go in with. He didn't exactly have favourites but he knew Michael would need Lucifer the most right now while Gabriel would probably just take any comfort from any of his brothers.

"I'll go in with Gabe, let you guys have your whole bonding session. Just try and make him feel better. You're the only one who can single handedly help him with all the crap that must be going on in his head. Tell him me and Balthazar will come and see him as soon as we can" Cas decided.

"Same with Gabriel. I'll come and see him when we get there. Hopefully they'll just put them in the same room. I think they're going to need each other" Lucifer acknowledged. You don't just go through such a traumatic experience with someone and forget that it was just the two of them there. They were the only two people who understood what it felt like to be confined in that space. Of course, Gabriel had to endure his suffering alone for nearly three weeks while Michael never had to experience that. Lucifer was worried about Gabriel's mental state, about how he would deal with this. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Cas walked away from him, speaking to Dean before pecking him on the lips quickly. He jogged over to the ambulance with Gabriel in it. Lucifer walked towards Michael's ambulance, getting in the back and sitting beside his twin. "Balthazar and Cassie said they'll come and see you as soon as they're allowed, they don't care about you less or anything it's j-"

"Gabriel needs them more than I do. Trust me. I know" he interrupted as he relived some of the many horrors he had endured during his time locked away in there. He could picture it all so clearly in his mind. Each and every detail from his first moment in there to the very last second he spent in there. All of the pain he was in just s constant reminder of what had happened.

_______________________________________________________

Cas boarded the ambulance with Balthazar and Gabriel already on. Balthazar was holding Gabriel's hand as he tried to talk to him. He looked up and saw Cas, shooting him a worried look. It was even worse than they could have imagined. The fact that their own brother and cousin had done this to them just made matters ten times worse. "Is Raphael going to come back to get us?" Gabriel asked, still a little out of it.

"No he's not, don't worry. He and Crowley got arrested" Cas reassured him before sitting down beside him, opposite Balthazar.

"Is Michael okay?" He asked, sitting up slightly this time.

"Kind of, he's not in the best shape of his life but he's just trying to cope with it I guess" Balthazar lied. He wasn't about to tell Gabriel about Michael crying literally as soon as Gabriel was away from him. He'd just get worried and that was the last thing any of them wanted him to do. His mental state wasn't exactly in tact as it was.

The doors to the ambulance slammed shut, a paramedic coming to sit in the back with them. "Hey, Gabriel. I'm going to have to do some checks on you but your brothers can stay right there. Is that okay?" The paramedic asked as the ambulance started moving.

"Yeah, okay" he said and the paramedic immediately went to his leg first, the one that has the knife in it. He lifted the thin blanket covering him in that area and was shocked when he saw it. Cas looked down at it and his mouth open in shock. His leg was completely discoloured. There were different shades of blue, black and green. The skin around the area broken and bloody.

"When did this happen?" The paramedic asked, staying calm so not to alarm any of the brothers despite the seriousness of the situation.

"Umm...the day before Michael got bought in. I don't know how many days that's been" he told him. Cas thought about this in his head for a second before he realised. It had been ten whole days. Ten days with a blade continually stabbing you.

"Ten days" Balthazar said aloud, worry evident in his voice, he squeezed his older brothers hand. He couldn't believe they would do this to him. The paramedic wore a worried expression but said nothing. He put the blanket back over his leg, deciding there was nothing to say about that until they got to the hospital. He went to Gabriel's other leg, his broken ankle evident as soon as he saw it. There were bruises and cuts all over him, some would require stitches.

"That's a pretty bad broken ankle" he stated before moving onto Gabriel's arms, immediately seeing the gunshot wound on his shoulder as well as all of the injuries around both of his arms. He moved around towards the top of the bed he was lying on. "I'm going to look under your hair, is that okay?" He asked and Gabriel nodded, lolling his head to the side with his eyes closed. "If I hurt you just tell me and I'll stop" the paramedic said before he put on a new pair of gloves and began moving strands of his hair so he could look at his scalp he had quite a few lumps and cuts under his hair which explained why his hair was so blood stained.

"You aren't going to shave any of my hair off are you?" Gabriel asked, horrified by the mere thought.

"No, just going to have to wash the blood out of it" he assured him as the ambulance came to a halt. A different paramedic opened the doors, presumably the driver as he and the man who was in the back wheeled Gabriel down the ramp and out of the ambulance. Cas and Balthazar lingering behind. Balthazar had déjà vu from after Zachariah had nearly killed Cas. While none of them looked as if they were about to die or would die from their injuries the whole process in the ambulance just felt eerily familiar.

"Hey, did the doctor do a check on Gabriel in the ambulance?" Lucifer asked, making the two younger brothers jump. They didn't see him jog over a few seconds before. Cas nodded. "What did they say? Michael's one said that he had a broken jaw, a concussion and just needed stitches and stuff. Oh and they needed to get the bullets out from where Raphael shot him" Lucifer informed them as they all stood outside the hospital.

"He said Gabriel's got a bad broken ankle, needs stitches too, won't have to have his hair shaved off or something and, about the knife, he didn't say anything. He just looked worried, it looked bad though. His whole legs a weird colour" Balthazar explained to him.

"Okay, at least they're back now. Let's just go in" Lucifer suggested before they all began to walk towards the hospital, the very same hospital Cas had been checked out from a few weeks before. They were all sick of seeing the hospital more than they saw their own home. Lucifer walked in front of his younger brothers, going to the front desk. "Um...Hi are m-"

"You're a Novak" the receptionist said simply. Lucifer looked a little confused at that but just nodded his head. "They're in separate rooms right now so doctors can check on them but after that they'll be in the same room. Shouldn't take that long unless they need surgery or anything like that" she told them. She had already seen the Novak's around from when Cas, Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel were patients.

The boys sat in the familiar waiting room. They just hoped that news about their brothers would come sooner rather than later.

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Raphael sat silently in his temporary prison cell. The bed was uncomfortable and the whole room was just plain. It reminded him of the mental institutions isolation area but colder with thinner blankets. He had no idea what was going to happen next but he would find a way around it and so would Crowley. His cousin had escaped prison before as well as mental institutions. Neither of them were stupid, maybe slightly insane but not stupid.

He wondered if Crowley was still angry at him. He probably was but he just couldn't bring himself to care. Maybe if their fathers hadn't been so secretive then he would have known about them being related in the first place. The whole time he had been here all of the officers who had spoke to him had asked him why. Why he would do that to them, why he seemed not to care at all.

He did it for revenge. Revenge for his mother and revenge for them always treating him as the outcast all because he was the half brother. It wasn't his fault that their father happened to have an affair and got his mother pregnant. Why did he have to be considered the one who was the outcast? He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to have his mother die in front of him. He didn't deserve the hatred his brothers threw his way all because he had different viewpoints to them.

He still had to make Lucifer and Balthazar pay. His soft spot for his youngest brother meant he didn't exactly want to inflict pain on him. Not really, not like how he did to Michael and Gabriel. He would ensure that he would make them pay, he was going to get out one way or another. No one could stop him or tell him otherwise. He was Raphael Novak. He did whatever he wanted and got whatever he aimed for and right now he wanted his brothers and his aim was to make them suffer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Michael got out of this pretty quick but don't worry! There will be flashbacks of the torture Raphael inflicted on him!


	28. Justice Will Be Served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY I TOOK TO LONG TO UPDATE. I HAD REALLY BAD WRITERS BLOCK WITH NO TIME. I will always try and update as often as I can. I had to do so much research for this chapter as well to make it medically accurate...You'll see what I mean. Anyway I hope you enjoy

Chapter Twenty Eight: 

"Michael wake up, look at this!" That familiar British accent spoke into his ear. He opened his eyes after being knocked out by a lot of punches with knuckle dusters to the face. He looked over to where Gabriel was. He was completely passed out with fresh blood covering the old dried up blood on his face. Raphael was behind him, holding a rope around his neck. 

Michael began shaking his head, his breaths unsteady. The only thing he could think about was that Gabriel was dead. He thought the worst. "Gabe? Gabriel!?" He tried but his brother didn't so much as stir. His chest tightened and he felt as if the walls were closing in on him. Raphael stood, smiling and laughing. "Gabriel please wake up!" Michael begged as he heard Crowley's sniggers behind him. Why did they think this was funny? Tears fell from his eyes as he looked at Gabriel's unmoving form. He was dead. 

It was all his fault. If he hadn't have passed out he would have saw what happened. Maybe even convinced Raphael not to do it. He was the worst brother in the world. How could he let this happen? Everything hurt, he felt as if he couldn't breathe while Crowley and Raphael just laughed at his suffering. The sound piercing through him like s thousand blades piercing his heart. His little brother was gone. 

Michael sat up from his sleep, panting breathlessly. He took in his environment, he was at hospital. After getting in the ambulance he barely remembered anything since they had doped him up with pain killers. He looked around before he felt a hand wrap around his wrist. He jumped at first, looking down at the hand. It looked nothing like Raphael's or Crowley's. He looked up to see who he hand belonged to and he saw his twin with a sympathetic smile on his face. Michael relaxed at that, breathing out a sigh of relief. He leaned forward, putting his arm which was not restricted in a sling around Lucifer as well as laying his head on his shoulder. He soon felt his brother embrace him. He felt as if he was finally safe. Michael clutched onto him as if afraid if he let go he would suddenly be back with Raphael and Crowley. "You're safe now, we won't let anyone hurt you or Gabriel" Lucifer spoke as he looked over at the others. Cas and Balthazar were sitting beside Gabriel's sleeping form, looking on at the scene.

At the mention of Gabriel's name Michael jolted back from Lucifer and looked to where they were. Gabriel's eyes were closed. All he could think was that he was knocked out. That's all he had seen for the past nine days, Gabriel being knocked out while he helplessly looked on. "He's alright don't worry" Cas spoke up when he saw the panic which crossed Michael's features. 

"Did they take the knife out? Stitch him up? Sort out his ankle?" He asked, not to anyone in particular but he just wanted to make sure his little brother was okay. Watching him being tortured wasn't a pleasant experience for him. Cas and Balthazar looked at each other as if there was things they didn't want to tell him. Michael wasn't stupid. He knew that look. "What? What is it?" He asked urgently. The two youngest Novak's looked up to Lucifer who was sitting behind Michael and nodded, as if telling them he needed to know. 

"He's got sepsis, Mikey" Balthazar informed him, forcing himself to make eye contact with his brother. Michael's eyes changed from panicked to full of sorrow and despair. "He got it from the knife. He's got the broken ankle too and a few broken ribs" he continued causing all of the colour which was in his face to drain. 

"Sepsis? As in blood poisoning?" He asked for confirmation. He was no doctor but he was pretty sure he was right about this. Balthazar nodded at that. Michael lay back down on the bed, putting his hand over his face. If only he had gotten them out of there quicker. He had that knife in his leg for ten whole days. He didn't know what he expected the outcome to be but he didn't expect him to have sepsis. 

"It's not your fault" Lucifer spoke up, as if reading his twins mind. "Don't think that" he told him, Michael looked up at him, his green eyes a little glazed over. He heard footsteps and turned his head to the side to see Cas walking towards him with a solemn look on his face. Balthazar hung back, staying by Gabriel and out of the way. He wasn't really in the mood to talk right now. He was hurting. He didn't do very well with speaking about feelings. 

"Come here" Cas sighed as he reached him, holding his arms out. Michael leaned up from the bed before he hugged Cas. The youngest Novak rubbed circles on Michael's back in an attempt to comfort him. Michael was grateful for it. All he had wanted since he had been captured was to just help Gabriel and see his brothers again and now he was here and he could see them. They weren't completely themselves but he didn't expect them to be with all the stress they were under. 

They pulled apart as soon as they heard coughing and spluttering from across the room. They looked over and saw Gabriel who's eyes were open now but was having a mild coughing fit. Despite their concern it soon subsided and Gabriel looked around. He saw Balthazar first, smiling at him weakly. "Don't look so down, little brother" he told him. Balthazar was a little taken back by how quiet and rugged Gabriel's voice sounded. Gabriel slowly turned his head to the side and saw his other three brothers, keeping the small smile on his face. "Mikey" he whispered, still forcing the smile. "You did it, you got us out" he said, almost dreamily. He didn't feel as if this was real. He had been confined in that room for such a long time that seeing this different environment just made him feel as if it wasn't real. 

Lucifer walked over to Gabriel while Cas stayed beside Michael. "Take your meds, kiddo" Lucifer smiled at him before he handed Gabriel a few tablets to take. Gabriel took them, sitting up and putting them in his mouth before Lucifer grabbed the cup of water and put it to Gabriel's lips, letting him drink it. 

"So, what are the meds for?" Gabriel asked slowly lying back down as all of his muscles ached. 

"Well a lot of things. Anxiety, anti depressants, pain medication and antibiotics. Guessing you'd probably have known your leg was infected where the knife was. You got blood poisoning, sepsis. The doctors said if you take the antibiotics, even though it is quite bad you should be alright" Lucifer told him. 

"Great" he sighed, seeming to sink further into the hospital bed. His muscles in his legs began to shiver slightly. He guessed it must have been a side affect of everything that was wrong with him. "Do I have to go back to the mental hospital?" He asked, the thought suddenly occurring to him. He had a fearful expression on his face. He didn't want to go back there. Not yet. Not now. It wasn't a good time. He needed to be here with his family, with all of them together. If he did then he wouldn't be able to see them all at the same time for a while at least since someone would most likely stay with Michael while the other two came to visit him. He needed to stay with all of them. For him that hospital was not the right path to go down right now. 

Lucifer sat down on his bed and grabbed his younger brothers hand. "No one is taking you anywhere. I won't let anyone take you away from us again. Not now. Not while you're like this. I promise" he told him, looking directly into his brothers eyes. Gabriel smiled gratefully at him and nodded. "You're shaking" Lucifer acknowledged when he felt his younger brothers hand tremble as he held it with his own. "The doctors said that was a symptom on the sepsis" he sighed. "It's going to be okay little brother, I promise I won't let anything else happen to you. You're safe now, okay?" He asked as he looked at all the injuries he had sustained on his face alone. At least his hair was free of blood now. The nurses had cleaned it. Gabriel nodded before he shuffled a little closer to Lucifer, putting his head in his older brothers lap. 

"Thank you" he said quietly as he closed his eyes. Lucifer frowned as he looked down at his younger brother before he started to run his fingers through his hair to try and soothe him. Lucifer bent down and kissed his younger brothers forehead gently, scared he might hurt him. 

"You're safe now" he reassured him as he sat back up and looked around to his other three brothers who were watching with sad eyes and pained expressions. The road to recovery wasn't going to be easy. 

"Balthazar, you haven't said anything. Are you okay?" Michael asked his younger brother, interrupting the moment. Balthazar looked up at him. He couldn't believe Michael was asking him that. The same Michael who was lying in a hospital bed and had been tortured for nine days straight. Compared to him he might as well have been on cloud nine. He was just trying to recover from the fact that this had happened. He felt as if he shouldn't be the one feeling like this. Michael and Gabriel should be the ones entitled to feel like crap but he couldn't help it.

"Yeah, I'm just still kinda worried I guess" he told him as Michael sipped at his water. His face swollen and bruised. Stitches were everywhere from his face to his legs. Gabriel was in even worse condition yet hadn't even spoke about anything that had happened in there. Neither of them had. 

"Aren't the police coming to speak to them soon?" Cas asked his two brothers who weren't currently lying a hospital bed. Gabriel seemed to lift his head up a little at that. He didn't want to talk to cops, not yet. 

"Yeah, crap. I forgot about that" Lucifer responded, running a hand through his hair. Michael and Gabriel looked to each other with the same worried look on their faces. Neither of them wanted to talk to the police about this. They weren't ready. Not yet. 

"I don't want to" Gabriel protested, shaking his head as his eyebrows knitted together. "I can't" he added. His chest began to feel tight at the mere thought of having to recap any of that. 

"It's going to be fine Gabriel, calm down. It's alright" Cas tried. 

"No it's not. You don't understand what happened in there. You don't know shit. Don't try and act like you understand. Only Michael understands" Gabriel snapped at his youngest brother. Cas wasn't offended, upset or angry about what Gabriel had said. It was true. None of them could even begin to comprehend what he went through in there, only Michael understood what it was like despite him being in there for a shorter time than Gabriel. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't be pushing you away. I just don't want to talk about it" he apologised, sinking himself down into the hospital bed. 

"We'll stay with you the whole time. Just tell them what they need to know and they'll be off your backs then" Balthazar shrugged just a few moments before a nurse entered the room with police standing behind her. Michael finished his water, putting the cup down on the table beside him. He looked up at them as they entered the room. "Ellen?" Balthazar asked as Ellen smiled at him, her coworker standing beside her. 

"Nice to see you two not bleeding out" she said before she walked over to Gabriel while her coworker walked towards Michael. "I know this is a sensitive subject for you two right now but for Raphael and Crowley to get put away we need to ask you two questions about what happened in there. If I had it my way we wouldn't have to force you to talk about this but unfortunately I don't make the rules. Luci, Balthazar and Cas can stay in here with you though" Ellen informed the two of them as she sat beside Gabriel who squeezed Lucifer's hand for comfort. 

Cas sat opposite Ellen's co worker, right beside Michael. He looked at his older brothers face, his features etched with worry. He could tell Michael really didn't want to talk about this. "Let's start with the basics. What's the first thing you remember from being in there?" 

_______________________________________________________

"Why did you think that your brothers deserved to be hurt like this?" The police officer asked him. He just rolled his eyes. He could have sworn he'd answered this question at least twelve times already. All they kept asking was why did you do it. He could have done something much worse. He could have killed them if he wanted to but he didn't. They should be grateful he wasn't that much of a psychopath to murder them. "Do you want me to repeat the question?" He asked. Raphael looked up at him, eyes piercing through him. 

"Would you like me to repeat my answer for the three hundredth time? Because they deserved it. I was always the outsider because I was the half brother then when my mother died it was their fault. Our uncle Zach wasn't after her or even me. He was trying to get to them. They could have got their sooner and then she wouldn't have died. I had to sit in a puddle of my mothers blood before they came in. Those assholes" he explained once again. He didn't understand why they kept asking him. He already told them why and he wasn't going to lie about it. He did it and he would own up to it because he wasn't ashamed. He was justified. 

"You do know one of your brothers has sepsis, right? Blood poisoning. Don't you feel even a little remorse?" He asked. Raphael had no idea that one of them had sepsis and he didn't care much. Sure he didn't intend for that to happen but sometimes parts of the plan went wrong. 

"They aren't dead. Hey should be grateful for that" he responded, looking down at the floor below. He just wanted to get out of this place. He was sure Crowley would end up finding a way out at some point. He was the escape artist. He always got out. "Where's Crowley?" He asked simply, looking up at the officer. 

"He's in a different room being interviewed. You can't see him if that's what you wanted" he told him. Raphael sighed at that. This place was literal hell. He wanted to see whether Crowley was mad at him as he was in the house. He hadn't seen him since they had been arrested. "Here's a question for you, would you consider yourself to be sane? After all you were in a mental institution and diagnosed with a variety of mental health issues" the officer asked causing Raphael to snap out of his day dream and breath a laugh at that question. 

"Of course I'm not sane" he replied quickly, shaking his head and grinning. He wasn't ashamed to admit it, in fact he didn't give a damn. His problems had made him willing and cunning enough to hurt his brothers, just as they deserved. Before when his mental illnesses were still developing and not fully showing themselves he was able to resist the few sick urges that popped into his head. He could ignore the thoughts that clouded his mind. When they began to come to the forefront though, they made him fearless. He could finally act in he thoughts he had been pushing away his entire life. He hoped Michael and Gabriel were suffering, he hope they all were. They deserved it. Each and every single hurt inflicted on them. 

_______________________________________________________

"How did you boys escape such a place? I mean, from the sounds of it he had you locked up pretty well" Ellen's male coworker, Rufus, asked. Michael and Gabriel looked to each other, the others had noticed that they kept doing that. It was as if they were talking through their eyes. Neither of them wanted to answer any of the questions thrown at them. There were too many painful memories that they had to relive. They both just wanted to forget about everything. Not that they would be able to do that anytime soon. 

"We thought of a plan...He had told us he was going to go out to get one of them to join us on that particular day. When they left I got the duct tape off my mouth by leaning down to my fingers and pulling it off then I used my teeth to bite the ropes off like he did when he tried to escape last time" Michael explained nodding over to Gabriel who's eyes were wet. He hated having to listen and talk about this. "Then when I got out I made sure he was alright first, they had just finished hurting us and they pretty much knocked him out, hitting him over the head with these planks of wood that had nails in them. I untied him and then used the chair I was in to climb up to the window. I got a screwdriver from their torture table and went to unscrewing all the screws holding the wood over the windows. Once that was done I helped Gabe out the window first then went after him. We walked down this weird creepy alley and then found a pay phone. I let him sit in there first before I dialled and that's when Hanna found us" he told them, not making eye contact with anyone just looking down at his hands. 

"He saved us" Gabriel's voice spoke up causing Michael to look over at his younger brother who managed to crack a broken smile. "Without him we would still be in there and another one of our brothers would have joined us in that hell hole. It's a good thing they didn't beat him unconscious that day and chose me instead. No way I could have hauled his ass out of there like he did for me" he told them as he wiped his eyes with the thin blanket provided by the hospital. He was trying to act snarky and sarcastic but it wasn't really paying off. While he had been given his usual medication it was clear he and Michael may need higher dosages after their ordeal. Gabriel was already prone to PTSD and it would surprise all of them if this didn't trigger it again. They felt as if they were back to square one with him. 

"Gabriel are you alright?" Lucifer asked when his brothers hand which was still in his began to shake even more so than before. Cas and Michael looked up at that, immediately becoming alarmed. Ellen stood, putting her hand on Gabriel's forehead. He was burning up. 

"He has sepsis, right?" She asked, all of them nodding. She quickly leant over by his bed and pressed the button which called for a nurse. As an officer she had basic first aid but not enough to deal with someone with blood poisoning. Rufus rushed over to Gabriel's other side, fussing over him while the twins continued to look helplessly. Michael felt as if he was tied down to the bed. It reminded him so much of being tied down to the chair. Seeing Gabriel suffering but not being able to help him. At that exact moment Michael just had to go and cough up blood. As if everyone wasn't worried enough about Gabriel anyway now they would worry about him. 

"Relax, I'm alright" Michael announced, looking around at everyone who had turned to him. Suddenly three nurses entered the room and they all backed away from Gabriel to let the nurses do what they had to. Lucifer backed away with Balthazar right by his side. He suddenly heard a sob, he turned to see that Balthazar had a hand over his mouth as a few tears fell down his face. 

"Look at me" Lucifer told him, spinning him so he was no longer looking at Gabriel. "I know you're not alright so don't give me some bullshit excuse. I know you're scared and angry but listen to me, okay? It's going to work out" he told him, holding his brothers face in his hands. His eyes shifted to look back over at Gabriel as he focused in in what they were saying. 

"Get blankets and an oxygen mask" he heard one of them say. 

"Hey" Lucifer said, snapping him out of it. "It's okay, little brother" he sighed before he hugged him. Balthazar hugged him back as silent tears fell down his face. Michael looked at them helplessly. He just wished he could comfort his younger brothers but he was glued to this bed. He looked over at Gabriel but Cas kept tilting his face back to look just at him. 

"Stop looking at him, it's only going to make you more upset" he told him but Michael couldn't help it. He had seen his brother in pain day in day out for weeks. He didn't want him to hurt anymore. He would take all of his pain as well as keeping his own if it meant that Gabriel would just be okay again. 

A nurse rushed in with a oxygen mask, placing it over his mouth and nose. They could hear him taking deep breaths so at least he wasn't dead. That was a start. His breathing was a lot quicker than it should have been though, almost as if he was having a panic attack. "Okay, Gabriel I need you to breathe slowly, can you do that?" One of the nurses asked, looking at his closed eyes. He shook his head violently as his whole body shook with trembles. "You need to!" She snapped at him. He opened his watery eyes before he tried to begin to breathe normally. It was a slow process. It took a lot longer than to calm him down with a normal panic attack. When his breathing finally steadied he was exhausted. They took the oxygen mask off him. He had his eyes closed and was whimpering a little. He was shaking slightly but it was nothing compared to what it was just minutes ago. 

"Was that a panic attack?" Michael asked the nurse who walked away from him to explain what was going on. 

"Yes and no. When you have sepsis trembling and rapid breathing are both very common signs of the condition. What just happened here was that the trembling and rapid breathing symptoms worsened which resulted in a panic attack since your brother was frightened" she explained and they all looked over at him, their hope fading completely. 

"Will he be okay?" Michael spoke up again. He worry clear in his expression and tone. 

"For the moment he is okay" the nurse told them. "The problem with sepsis is that it can very easily progress. At he moment he, somehow has just sepsis. You see there are three stages of this condition. He lowest stage is just sepsis which he has. The next stage is severe sepsis which is when the organs begin to shut down, it can be recovered from but it takes a much longer time and there's a higher risk for complications. The final and most severe stage is septic shock. We do not want him to get to this stage. In this stage 50% of people will die. We are fighting to prevent the infection from going any further than the first stage but, I must warn you, there is a very very high possibility it will progress to severe sepsis. It's a miracle he's only got sepsis. The infection is spreading quickly within his system. The likelihood of it developing to stage two is extremely likely I'm afraid" she informed them gravely. She watched as all of their faces fell. 

Ellen looked around at all of the siblings. She couldn't believe even more crap was being thrown their way. How it was possible for one family to have so much bad luck she would never know. The news struck all of them hard. Organ failure. Their brother could possibly have organ failure in the next few days. How could this happen? Things went from terrible to devastating. They had passed bad and worse many years ago. 

______________________________________________________

Crowley was escorted back to his cell after his interview, a sour look on his face. He looked at the inmates in their cells who he passed. All of them older than him and much more fierce than him. He knew Raphael would be getting out of this jail soon. Lucky for him he was 17 and still legally classed as a minor despite he fact he was even more of a monster than Crowley was. "Crowley!" His cousins voice sounded as a clank was heard on jail cell bars. He was pressed against the bars of his cell. "Get me the hell out of this shit hole! We can do it together!" He exclaimed as Crowley walked by. 

He said nothing, not a single word. He could hear his cousins pleas as he walked away. Hear his desperation. He couldn't ignore that. "Keep calm!" Crowley shouted back before he was thrown into his cell. Psycho or not Raphael was his cousin. Crowley always believed you should be loyal to those you share blood with. He didn't know they were related before. He didn't know he was related to Gabriel or Michael otherwise he would have never laid a hand on either of them. He wanted to apologise and he wanted to get the hell out of the shit hole he had to call home for now. He would get out though. He always did. He was known for how he was able to escape even the highest security prisons. If he did escape he would ensure his cousin would come with him. Family doesn't get left behind. Not even crazy psychos with murderous tendencies.

______________________________________________________

"Cas I'm so sorry" Dean sighed through the phone when Cas called him to tell him the news about Gabriel. Every time at family thought they were in the clear something else just popped up to make matters worse. "Send your brothers my love, especially Gabriel. It sounds like he needs it. I don't believe in no God but I will pray for him to get better" he added, running a hand through his hair. 

"Thanks Dean. I'll talk to you soon. I love you" 

"Love you too" 

Cas sighed and put the phone down before walking back into the room. Gabriel had beads of sweat falling down his face as he slept. Apparently a high temperature was another side effect of the sepsis. His breathing was a little rugged by he seemed content so there was no need to wake him. Cas sat down with the others around Michael's bed.

"Why does this stuff happen to him?" Michael asked as he looked at his younger brother. He had barely took his eyes off him in hours. Ellen and Rufus had gone, they had information. Not all of it but enough. They understood the family needed to be alone right now. "First he has mental health problems anyway which doesn't help, then he gets put into a mental hospital much more than once, he tried to kill himself, he got abused just like all of us, he gets captured, tortured beyond belief and now his life is in danger" Michael sighed. 

"The kid can't catch a damn break" Lucifer added as he looked sadly at his younger brother. They all felt so sorry for their brother. He was the comic relief of all of them. Of course Balthazar was also hilarious but Gabriel had a certain charm about him. He was the sort of person would light up a whole room just with his energy. He didn't deserve any of this. While this was happening to him their cousin and half brother sat in jail with their health. No injuries, no guilt, no worries. That was exactly what Gabriel and Michael deserved. Lucifer wished those two could switch places with his brothers right now. Of course, he wouldn't wish death upon them but they deserved to feel the pain both of them were in. He would make it his duty to ensure that justice was served.


End file.
